


Standing In The Dark

by lightbluejournal



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Coffee Shops, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-05
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-22 01:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 111,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1570136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightbluejournal/pseuds/lightbluejournal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He broke her heart and betrayed her trust in the worst possible way, causing her to run away instead of facing her problems hands on. She was never the same after the incident, and he never forgave himself for hurting her the way he did.</p>
<p>The mistake haunted both of them, until one day fate brought them back together after years of being apart. When two people loved each other as much as Enjolras and Eponine did, they would soon realize that love was far from gone, nor would it ever leave. Suddenly, it was all a battle of ego, regrets, anger and frustrations, as Enjolras and Eponine tried to mend things together while trying to keep their distance, only to break things even more and were brought even closer together.</p>
<p>An Enjonine AU about lost love, forgiveness and finding a way back to the one you love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One with the Break Up

Eponine ran into the apartment she shared with Enjolras and slammed the door shut. She locked it and slumped into the floor, breaking into hysterical sobs. I am never going to believe in anyone ever again, Eponine said to herself. She had no one to blame but herself. She’s the one who got herself into this mess. She’s the one who trusted too much, loved too much. Enjolras was her soul mate, the love of her life and she used to believe that they would spend the rest of their lives together. However, it’s all ruined now.

She should have known that she could trust no one and she cursed herself for falling in love and letting her guards down. Didn’t she learn enough from Marius? Didn’t she swear that heartbreak is the worst feeling one could ever feel and she would never let herself go through another one? Nothing good ever came when she fell in love. She was always the one who ended up hurt, not anyone else and she wondered why she kept doing that to herself. 

Eponine Thenardier was so deep into her self-loathing moment that she didn’t hear the knock on the door. It was until Enjolras knocked the door harder and called her name that Eponine was brought out of her reverie.

“Eponine! Please open the door!” called Enjolras from outside.

“Leave me alone Enjolras! I … I have absolutely nothing to say to you,” said Eponine and she sounded so small and dejected that Enjolras’ heart clenched. He wanted to just break the door and held her in his arms to comfort her, to tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he was that he hurt her. He made a big mistake and he was afraid that she would never forgive him for this. The thought of losing her was almost too much to take. He must try to get her to forgive him. They could make this thing work. They’re Enjolras and Eponine; they could get through anything when they’re together, right?

“Eponine, please,” pleaded Enjolras, in a voice that used to make Eponine’s heart melt but now it did nothing but hurt her even more. Should she open the door? Should she listen to him? 

“Eponine, please, open the door. We need to talk about this,” he also sounded like he was on the verge of crying himself.

Talk? Talk? What was there to talk about? He cheated on her, he slept with someone else and he wanted to talk? What could he possibly have to say for himself?

Eponine opened the door. Standing in front of her was Enjolras. His eyes were red and he looked ghastly. She glared at him and Enjolras could not help but to feel a little bit scared of her. Her eyes were so icy and cold that Enjolras had to take a step back because he had never seen Eponine like that. She used to look at him with so much admiration and love and now there were nothing in her eyes but anger and hatred. 

Eponine was never the one to get mad easily. She only got mad when someone really screwed up. He knew he screwed everything up this time and now he was going to lose her forever and he could not deal with that. He refused to accept that. He could not lose Eponine. She was the love of his life, she was everything that mattered to him. If he let her go, he didn’t think he would live, he didn’t think he would ever be happy again. He had to convince her to stay. Their relationship was too precious for him to lose.

“You wanted to talk? Talk,” said Eponine. She was shaking and tears still stained on her cheeks. Enjolras opened and closed his mouth like a fish, he was speechless and his ever admired ability in making talks and speeches was gone as she stared at him. He did not know what to say. What do you say when you messed everything up but you’re not ready to lose everything you have? 

“Please, let me come in,”

Eponine turned around and got into the apartment, leaving the door opened. Enjolras breathed a sigh of relief and followed her in. He was closing the door and was turning around when Eponine kicked him hard… in his crotch. God, Eponine was strong. The pain was unbelievable.

“Ow! What the hell, Eponine?!” he looked up to see Eponine, who with crossed arms, raised an eyebrow, “Okay, I guess I deserved that,” whimpered Enjolras. He was trying to recover from the blinding pain in his crotch when Eponine slapped him across the face. She was about to slap him again when he asked her to stop.

“Please, stop!”

Eponine stilled. She was silent but somehow Enjolras preferred if she started to scream at him. Her silence meant she could not care anymore. Her silence meant she could not care less about what Enjolras would do anymore. Her silence meant he had lost her.

She walked towards the living room and Enjolras stood up. Suddenly he saw a vase coming right at him and he ducked just in time, avoiding it from hitting him square in the face. He barely got a moment to breathe when one, two, three books were thrown at him and one hit its aim, which was Enjolras’ shoulder. He yelped in pain and decided he could not take it anymore. When he said that they needed to talk, he didn’t mean him getting severely injured. Enjolras took five long strides towards Eponine and caught her hands in his before she managed to grab anything else to throw. She shouted obscenities towards him, calling him all sorts of hurtful names she could think of as she tried to release herself from Enjolras’ grip.

“Eponine, calm down! Please! Calm down!”

“NO! You fucking bastard! I cannot even look at you right now. You can go to hell because I have nothing to say to you and I want to hear nothing from you! We’re over, Enjolras! We’re over and I want you out of this house now! I don’t ever, ever want see your face again!” she cried as she said the last sentence and Enjolras released her from his grip. She sat on the couch and sobbed. 

It’s over? Was that it? For two years they were together and that’s it? No. He refused to accept that.

“Eponine, I made a mistake and I regret it. I love you and that night with that girl was nothing more but a drunken mistake. I was so upset because of our fight and …”

Eponine scoffed.

“You can’t be serious. We had one big fight, Enjolras and we fought because of something that we both could discuss when we have calmed down. I had known you as a reasonable man, Enjolras and I can’t believe that you would think…”

“What was I supposed to think?” Enjolras started.

“Gee, I don’t know. Maybe give me some time and believe that I am going to always want to be with you? Or… I don’t know, maybe not go the bar and bang the first girl you see?” Eponine said sarcastically, she still refused to look at him but Enjolras was quite relieved that she was calmer. It’s easier to reason with Eponine when she’s calm.

“I am sorry. I am so, so, so sorry and I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am right now. I love you, Eponine and I don’t want to lose you,” Enjolras kneeled in front of her, holding her hands tightly. He could not bear the thought of losing her. She was the only woman he had ever loved, the only one who truly understood him, who accepted his flaws, who loved him just as much as she argued with him, who got into his heart just like she got to his nerves when they first met. She was the one who proved that he was more than just the ever flawless marble man like his friends said and he could not imagine having to live without her.

“Please… please don’t leave me”

“You know what hurts the most?” she said, and their eyes met, “It is that you didn’t believe that I would say yes. You did not believe that I love you because if you did, you wouldn’t do what you did. When I got into Musain this evening, I was happy because I finally made up my mind. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and I didn’t care about any difficulties that we’re going to face because we’re invincible when we’re together. I was about to say yes. I was about to say yes before you told me…” she choked, “before you told me that you slept with someone else”

Eponine started crying again. Her heart was broken. She was about to lose the love of her life. She did not want to let him go but could she ever trust him again? Trust is the foundation of every relationship and with that broken, she did not think that this relationship could survive. She could never trust her Enjolras again and that hurt so badly.

“Enjolras,” Eponine started, Enjolras looked up hopefully but Eponine said something that broke his heart into millions of tiny pieces, “you can have the apartment. I am going to Cosette’s house,” Eponine got up from the couch and went to the bedroom, leaving Enjolras devastated listening to the finality in her tone.

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Hey there pretty boy. Are you alone?” a gorgeous woman in miniskirt and tank top approached Enjolras at the bar. 

Enjolras ignored her and continued drinking his Vodka. His mind wandered back to Eponine. He had ignored her calls and texts all night after their big fight. Enjolras and Eponine always fought but this had to be the worst fight they ever had. They both realized that they wanted different things. Enjolras wanted to get married but Eponine wanted to take her time with their relationship. Enjolras wanted to have babies and move to suburbs but Eponine could not imagine herself raising a child because she was too afraid that she would turn up like her horrible mother. They both wanted different things but both were too stubborn to compromise. Enjolras felt like he was in a relationship that led nowhere and he could not have that. In the end, he asked Eponine whether she would want to settle down with him someday and she kept quiet. With that, Enjolras stormed out of their apartment and went to this bar.

“You wanna dance?” the woman asked again. She wiggled her eyebrows at Enjolras. 

“Why not?” Enjolras let her take his hand and led him to the dance floor. He didn’t really feel like dancing but he needed to get Eponine out of his mind. He needed to forget this sinking feeling in his chest.

They danced for God knows how long. Everything was blurry but he remembered that the woman was fun to dance with and when they’re done dancing, she leaned in and kissed him. He kissed her back. 

…..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Enjolras woke up in an unfamiliar bed. He turned and saw the woman from yesterday sleeping beside him. A moment of panic struck him when he realized that they’re both naked. He rushed to pick his clothes and ran out the door. Yes, the girl managed to get Eponine out of his mind last night and after all that he did with her, he might be going to have Eponine out of his life too, and he realized that that was far from what he wanted.

…...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“No, not another fight! God, you two are infuriating!” Cosette exclaimed. In front of her right now was Eponine and she looked like a total mess. She could not sleep, she could not eat and she spent her entire night trying to reach Enjolras. She had never seen him so upset with her. She was terrified at the thought that he was going to break up with her. She loved him too much to let him go.

“Cosette, it was horrible,” Eponine sobbed “I have never seen him so angry and now he’s nowhere to be found and I’m afraid that he might do something stupid. I can’t lose him, Cosette, I can’t!”

“Eponine, this is Enjolras we’re talking about. He’s not going to do anything stupid, he’s far too wise and too boring to even get drunk. Don’t worry, once he has calmed down, he’s going to come home,” Cosette tried to comfort her distressed best friend.

Eponine wiped her tear and attempted to compose herself. She succeeded in the first few seconds but then she cried again. Cosette rolled her eyes and put her arms around her, trying her best to comfort her.

Cosette was never a fan of Enjolras. She thought that Eponine deserved better. Eponine had a rough childhood and even a rougher time growing up. Compared to her, Cosette felt little because she knew that she was not strong enough to go through anything that Eponine went through. Her best friend was a strong woman, a woman she looked up to and grew protective of and when Eponine first got together with Enjolras, Cosette gave him a fair warning.

She told him that if he hurt her best friend in any way possible, he was going to have to deal with her wrath. Not the Les Amis’ wrath, not Marius’ wrath but her, the so-called sweet and innocent Cosette Fauchlevant and she swore that she was going to make his life a living hell. Enjolras scoffed at first but Marius gave him a look, and he realized that Cosette was not kidding. He then promised her that he would never break Eponine’s heart and assured her that he was going to take a good care of Eponine. Cosette was comforted.

As she was trying to console Eponine, Cosette cursed Enjolras under her breath.

Once Eponine calmed down, Cosette got up and made her a cup of hot chocolate. Eponine gratefully took a sip and there were colour in her cheeks again. 

“Alright, now would you tell me what happened?”

Eponine sighed.

“I was reorganizing our wardrobe and in his drawer, I found… I found an engagement ring,” Cosette gasped. Eponine nodded her head and continued, “Yes, he was going to propose! And I panicked. I didn’t know how long had I been staring at that ring and when I turned around, I saw Enjolras already standing behind me.”

“I asked him about the ring and he confessed that he was going to propose and I freaked out. I told him that it was too soon and…”

“What do you mean, “Too soon”? It’s not like you’ve been going out for 2 months. It has been 2 years” Cosette said. She could not believe that she’s taking Enjolras’ side in this.

“I know but I enjoy things the way they are. I don’t need to be married to show that I love him and only him. Why does he have to make things complicated?!”

Cosette sighed. She may not like Enjolras but she could see how much he admired Eponine. She was happy to hear that he wanted to take things with Eponine further and she could see that although they always fight, he made Eponine happier that she had ever been. She held Eponine’s hand in hers and looked straight into her eyes, “Honey, do you love him?”

“What do you mean? Of course I do!”

“Honey, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. This is Enjolras, who was an asshole who cared nothing but his cause to make this world a better place, until you came along and showed him that there are more to life than just his cause. This is Enjolras, who was the jackass who made fun of my boyfriend for falling in love but in the end fall so hopelessly in love with you and wants to make you his. It is obvious that you’re the only one for him, Eponine and he wants to prove that by marrying you. Why are you so freaked out? If you love him, you wouldn’t react like this!”

Eponine took her hands away from Cosette’s and glared at her.

“Because, Cosette, it is my nature to screw things up! What if we get married and I become a horrible wife like my mother? What if I make his life miserable? What if we have a child and I fucked up? We are perfectly happy right now, Cosette and I am afraid that by taking things further, everything we have built for two years will come tumbling down. I can’t have that!” Eponine cried. 

“For fuck’s sake, woman, get your shit together!” Cosette exclaimed and Eponine jumped. Cosette was never the person who cursed a lot and she was never the one to raise her voice at Eponine either. However, right now, she looked so frustrated and tired of her problems, as if she had enough of it.

“I’ve had enough of this. You and Enjolras are perfect together. Yeah, it’s a surprise as it came from me,” she added when Eponine looked at her as if she had sprouted wings, “but you guys love each other so much and the love that you guys share is beautiful. And you are not going to screw up, Eponine. No. You have grown so much and you are nothing like your parents. You took care of Gavroche and he turned out to be such a lovely boy. Your past should stay in the past, don’t let it affect your future. You love Enjolras, and he loves you. And I know, deep down, you want to commit to him but you’re afraid to do so.”

Eponine kept quiet. Too many thought were occupying her mind. She thought of Enjolras and how hurt he looked when she told him that she didn’t want to get married. Did she want to get married actually? Could she see herself as a wife? 

Then, she pictured herself standing at the door of their baby’s nursery, looking at Enjolras trying to put their daughter to sleep. He looked up and smiled at her, his smile made her heart flutter and even after years, she realized that the same smile would still give her butterflies in her stomach and she knew no one could ever make her feel like Enjolras did. Yes, she wanted to be with him and only him and if he wanted to take things further, she’s going to follow him.

“You’re right… you’re absolutely right. I need to find Enjolras,” Eponine said and suddenly stood and reached for her handbag. Cosette smiled as Eponine fumbled with the contents of her handbag to find her phone.

She got her phone and sent a text to Enjolras to meet her Café Musain. She turned to Cosette and said, “Thank you,”

….............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

“Enjolras,” Eponine said breathlessly as she was just running to the café. To her relief, Enjolras was already there. He looked solemn but she thought she could put a stop to that. She was about to kiss him when Enjolras took her hand and signalled her to sit next to him. She was about to say something when she realized that Enjolras was in tears. 

“Enjolras, what’s going on?”

She had known Enjolras for a long time and she never saw him this vulnerable and scared. He was shivering and his eyes were red. His hair was dishevelled and he looked so out of place. Eponine was beginning to get really worried.

“I did a really, really bad thing” Enjolras said.

Eponine wondered what he did. This was Enjolras and although he’s also human and made mistakes, his mistakes were never too big to turn him into this mess of a man. Eponine took his hands in hers and cupped his chin, making him look at her.

“Enjolras, it’s me. You can tell me anything”

If she was trying to comfort him, it wasn’t working. Enjolras took his hands away from her and buried his head in them. He shook his head, as if he wished that this was all a dream, a nightmare and he would wake up and be anywhere but there.

After a few minutes, he looked up and saw Eponine still staring at him. She looked concerned and worried, making him feel even guiltier. He had to tell her, he had to. This beautiful woman in front of him deserved the truth. He was afraid to lose her but hiding the truth from her was not a choice. If he truly loved her, he would be honest with her.

“Last night, I… I slept with someone else” Enjolras confessed.

His words were like a slap to her face. She was shocked. No, no, not her Enjolras. She looked around. Was this some kind of sick joke? Would Les Amis suddenly jumped out from the counter and said “Ha! Gotcha!”?

And then she looked into his ocean blue eyes and her heart shattered into pieces. Enjolras never lied. He’s telling the truth. He knew how much she loathed cheaters and he promised her that he would never cheat on her. Montparnasse cheated on her and he beat the shit out of him. Now, he’s the one who cheated on her, he’s the one who slept with someone else. It’s like Montparnasse all over again except that this hurt much more because she actually loved the man in front of her. Before she knew it, she started to cry. Enjolras moved closer to her but she swatted his hands away. 

“Stay away from me,” she hissed.

“Eponine, I’m sorry. I… I feel terrible. I don’t want to lose you. Please, please don’t leave me,”

Everything that he said was like a dagger in her. And she thought about Enjolras with this girl. Who was this girl? Did it matter anyway? Now, she looked at him and she could see nothing but betrayal. She could not see anything but him with this stranger in a mass of tangled limbs. His lips kissing this stranger, forgetting all about her, not caring about her feelings. Did he even remember her? Did he even remember what they had? Honestly, did it even matter to him?

“I have to go,” Eponine said and dashed out of the café.

….............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Enjolras’ mind was spinning. He heard Eponine moving in the bedroom, closets opened and closed, drawers opened and shut and he knew that in a few minutes, she was going to walk out of their apartment and he would lose her forever.

What would he do without her? Being with her was the best time of his life. He had never laughed so much. He had never been so happy. Eponine was perfect and he wondered whether anyone would even come close to replacing her.

Replacing her? No, there’s no replacing her.

He thought about what could have been. If he let her out of the door, it’s official that they would be broken up. She would start to move on with her life. After some time, she would start to date someone else. The thought of Eponine dating someone else made him sick in his stomach. Seriously, could he even handle seeing her with someone else? What if he treated her better than he did? What if she fell deeper in love with that guy? What if they got married?

Would they still be friends? Would he still be friends with Les Amis, really? Would they forgive him for cheating on Eponine? Cosette never would, he thought. She was going to make his life a living hell, as if it wasn’t bad enough because Eponine was not in it.

“Enjolras, I’ll leave my key on this table. If I had left anything, just put them together in a box and I’ll get them some other time” Eponine said quietly. She had finished packing and she looked sadly at the dejected man on the living room’s couch.

Enjolras lifted his head. Eponine was looking at her feet, looking as though it was killing her that she had to leave and Enjolras got up and strolled towards her. He had nothing to say to justify his actions but he needed to prove to her how much he loved her. So he pulled her to him and kissed her with all that he has got. She kissed him back and he melted under her touch. She fit so right in his arms and he did not want to let her go. He could not let her go. He couldn’t.

Eponine suddenly pulled back. 

“I… I can’t, Enjolras,”

“Why? Eponine, you know that girl meant nothing to me. I love you and only you. Please, please don’t leave me. I don’t know what I would do without you,” he kneeled before her, hugging her frame and was sobbing uncontrollably right now. She’s slipping away from him so he held to her tighter.

“No, this is all ruined, Enjolras. We’re over. I used to see you as someone who would never, ever hurt me. And now, you would be no one but the only who betrayed me. I can’t be with you anymore, Enjolras,” she sniffled.

“This… this is goodbye,” she added and Enjolras felt like he was punched in the gut. In fact, it was worse. He felt like he was punched repeatedly. It hurt. He knew that he lost her forever now and it hurt.

Just like that, she grabbed her bags and walked out of the door. She’s gone. It’s all over.

Enjolras sunk to the floor and wept. Everything fell apart because of him. He had a perfect girl whom he loved but he fucked it all up. It’s all because he was too stupid to not believe that Eponine loved him. And now… she’s gone forever and there’s nothing he could do to bring her back. He should’ve said no and came back to her that night. If he did, he would not feel as terrible as he was feeling. The guilt and remorse were killing him and he could have done nothing to stop it. 

Nothing, absolutely nothing.


	2. The One when He Finally Broke

Eponine was never the kind of person who give other people second chances. No, she had been through a lot in her life and she refused to let anybody hurt her more than once. So, when she left Enjolras, she really left him and she did not turn back.

Enjolras lied on his bed, replaying the events that happened the night he and Eponine broke up. It had been two weeks, two weeks of misery, two weeks of emptiness. The worst of all is that it had been two weeks without any news from Eponine. He called and texted her every day, begging her to come back but there was not a single reply from her. 

Enjolras tried to convince himself that he would be okay. After all, he was not the kind of man who would isolate himself in his apartment and weep about his ex-girlfriend. Therefore, the morning after their break-up, he still managed to get up early in the morning, made himself a simple breakfast, went to work and would not go home until it’s really late. He refused to let himself grief. Enjolras kept telling himself that he had more pressing matter to do than to think about Eponine. He avoided his friends because he did not want to hear them being angry at him for making such a bad judgment. He ignored their texts and their calls but after over two hundred missed calls, he had enough and sent them all texts that he needed some time alone.

He thought that they would never forgive him for what he did to Eponine. He didn’t deserve their forgiveness anyway. After all, he figured that he deserved to be left alone, he deserved every punches and throws that he got, and he deserved all unhappiness in life because he used to have everything but he blew them for one night of drunken hook-up. He deserved nothing so he spent most of his time being immersed in his work.

Nevertheless, every night, Enjolras would lie on his bed like he was doing right now, replaying the nightmarish event of the night he lost the love of his life, torturing himself for what he did to her, refusing to forgive himself. He did not cry anymore, in fact, he felt absolutely numb towards everything. His temper got really short and everything annoyed him because he had no one to cool him down. He did not remember the last time he smiled. He was unhappy. He was so unhappy that he didn’t think he could ever feel happy again. He missed his Eponine. He needed his Eponine.

So he slept at night with a dull ache in his chest, longing for a woman whom he hadn’t heard about in two weeks. The woman who disappeared without any trace. The woman whom he knew was moving on with her life without him in it.

… And it really, really hurt.

….........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

This sulking attitude from Enjolras only lasted for a week.

Enjolras was working in his office when Courfeyrac came in to hand him the contract that Enjolras told him to check. He was clearly so hurt and pissed off by Enjolras’ cold demeanour towards him and his friends so he threw the contract on Enjolras’ table and without saying a word, he went to the door to get out of Enjolras’ office. Enjolras decided to not say anything to him.

However, Courfeyrac suddenly stopped at the door, shaking his head, contemplating whether he should say something. Finally, he turned around and slammed the door behind him, getting Enjolras’ attention. After a week keeping his silence, Courfeyrac decided that he could not continue with this anymore so he needed to speak his mind. Enjolras stared at him but when Courfeyrac struggled to find words, Enjolras went back to his papers.

“Is this how it’s going to be from now on, Enjolras?” Courfeyrac asked, sounding exasperated.

Enjolras did not look up from his paper.

“Oh, so you’re ignoring me now. Enjolras, we care about you,” he said, “I know we don’t say it enough but all of us care about you, man. We love you. Combeferre and I had been worried sick. You wouldn’t talk to us, you wouldn’t talk to anyone. You cannot keep everything to yourself. You will go mad! Please, stop. Stop with all this. Just because Eponine left you, doesn’t mean we all will. You’re our friend, Enjolras.”

Enjolras suddenly put down his pen and glared at him, feeling impatient. He had a lot of work to do now and the last thing he needed to handle now was his friend’s emotional outburst. It’s better to not feel anything and he intend to do just that. 

“My personal business is none of your concern, Courf. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Enjolras said as he got out of his chair, “I have work to do,” he strode towards the door and opened it for Courfeyrac, signalling that he wanted him to leave.

Courfeyrac shook his head in disbelief. He chuckled bitterly.

“Unbelievable. Years and years building this friendship and it all tumbled down because of your idiocy,” Courfeyrac said. Enjolras turned his head to see Courfeyrac looking both hurt and annoyed. 

“You know who you are? You are a selfish bastard who cared about nothing but yourself. A self-indulgent, workaholic asshole who does not give a shit about his friends,” Courfeyrac moved closer to him. Enjolras could feel the anger radiating from the usually cheerful man. He glared back at him and Courfeyrac was standing right in front of him now. 

Enjolras was speechless. Courfeyrac was never the one who would say these words to him. Courfeyrac always treated him with respect and understood his opinions although there were times when they disagree with each other’s views.

“In a way, I think it’s good that Eponine broke up with you, man, because now, I can see who you truly are,” Courfeyrac said maliciously. Enjolras’ grip on the door handle tightened, the mention of Eponine’s name still gave him a pang in his heart.

“Shut up, Courf. Shut. Up,” said Enjolras through gritted teeth.

“Fuck you, man. She deserves better than you. She deserves better than this pathetic excuse of a man standing right before me,” Courfeyrac hissed.

That was it. Enjolras pushed Courfeyrac away and punched him hard on his face. The other man fell back on the couch. He managed to get up but Enjolras grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, hitting him again and again and again with everything he can. Courfeyrac somehow managed to scratch Enjolras’ face, making the marble man scream and Courfeyrac used his moment of vulnerability to kick him in his stomach. The noise they both made attracted Combeferre who was working in his office which was next to Enjolras’. 

Combeferre came just in time before Courfeyrac and Enjolras murdered each other.

“Stop it! STOP!” he shouted as he stood in between the feuding men. Both men were breathing harshly, looking at each other with so much hatred and loathing.

“What the fuck happened here?” Combeferre frowned. He turned to look at Enjolras who was seething with anger. Combeferre had never seen Courfeyrac and Enjolras fighting. He also had never seen both of them looking at each other as if they were sworn enemies, as if they had never been friends. It bothered him.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Courfeyrac said as he rubbed his jaw. He was lucky that it didn’t break but he knew that there are going to be bruises on his face later. He wiped his bleeding nose, looking angrily at Enjolras. Combeferre sighed, starting to understand what it was all about and he realized that he needed to put a stop on all this. So, he grabbed Courfeyrac’s and Enjolras’ sleeve and led them to the couch. He pushed them both and they took a seat next to each other.

He was about to open his mouth to say something when…

“I am sorry,” Enjolras spoke softly, surprising Combeferre and Courfeyrac. He then buried his face in his hands and sobbed uncontrollably. “I’m sorry, I am so, so sorry,” he kept repeating. Combeferre and Courfeyrac exchanged looks, feeling sympathetic towards their best friend. Suddenly, all the anger and disappointment that they felt for the past week dissipated and in that room were nothing but two friends trying to console their best friend who finally broke down after keeping everything to himself for so long.

“I’m sorry, Enjolras. We’re sorry. We’re going to do everything we can to help you get through this.” Courfeyrac placed a hand on Enjolras’ shoulder. Combeferre smiled.

“You’re not alone, Enjolras. You’re never alone. We’re here. And that’s all you need to know for now,” he said quietly.

….......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Another two weeks without Eponine was still tough but it was much better when he had his two best friends by his side. He was starting to get better as he sometimes laughed at Combeferre’s bad jokes and Courfeyrac’s endless stories about his quests in picking up chicks. Yes, Enjolras was finally quite happy but there’s still an Eponine-shaped hole in his life that he needed to cover, that he needed to get rid of. She obviously didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, so he needed to get over her. Perhaps not seeing her was a good thing, perhaps they needed the distance. 

One day, Enjolras was reading in his living room on his day off when he got a call from Marius. 

“Enjolras, come to my house for dinner. I have something very important to tell you,” Marius said. His voice was raspy and he sounded sad. Enjolras wondered whether this had something to do with Cosette because if it was, he wasn’t sure whether he was up for it. 

“I am not sure. Can’t you just tell me now?”

“We’re all going to be here tonight. You have to come. No exceptions. 8 o’clock, sharp,” Marius said sternly and hung up the line. Enjolras shrugged. What was it that was so important?

…

Enjolras took a deep breath as he knocked the door of Marius and Cosette’s apartment. He heard voices inside, indicating that his friends were already there and he’s the last one to arrive. The door opened and standing in front of him was Cosette. 

Cosette’s eyes widened when she saw Enjolras. Her mouth was opened in shock. Then, she scowled at Marius who was suddenly interested in his bottle of beer. Others were silent and some looked worried because of the increasing tension between Enjolras and Cosette. The two blondes didn’t like each other at all and after Enjolras and Eponine’s break up, Cosette made it clear to everyone that Enjolras was dead to her, which was why Enjolras did not want to come here at the first place.

Cosette hesitated for a while but then moved aside to let Enjolras in. She did not even look at him and Enjolras could not be bothered. It’s better if they didn’t talk. It would make things much easier. 

Cosette walked towards Marius and pinched his arm, clearly pissed off that he invited Enjolras. Marius winced because of the pain.

“Marius, follow me to the kitchen, now,” Cosette said through gritted teeth.

Enjolras walked into the living room and found the Les Amis looking gloomy and down. He wondered what had happened. He took a seat next to Grantaire. They all sat in awkward silence because no one bothered to tell him what’s going on. He turned to Combeferre and Courfeyrac, wondering whether they could fill him in about what happened but they too, looked just as confused as he was. Suddenly, he heard screaming in the kitchen. The others didn’t seem to bother checking, as if they already knew what it was all about so Enjolras signalled Combeferre and Courfeyrac to follow him.

“What is going on here?” Enjolras asked and Marius and Cosette froze. 

“You have to tell them,” Marius said to Cosette, “They are my friends and this is a secret that you are not allowed to keep. Tell them. If you won’t, I will,”

Enjolras turned his gaze to Cosette and found that the petite woman was crying. She looked both miserable and scared. She kept shaking her head, refusing to tell them.

“No, he does not have any right to know!”

“What about Combeferre and Courfeyrac, Cosette? They’re her friends too! They have every right to know where she’s going!”

“Can you guys stop fighting and fucking tell us what happened?” Combeferre asked as he began to get really annoyed.

Marius glared at Cosette. He had always looked at her with so much love and compassion, and Enjolras was surprised to see the cold look that he’s giving her now. 

“Well, then I’ll tell them,” Marius whispered. “Guys, why don’t you take a seat?”

They all did and Marius took a deep breath. 

“Eponine… she’s… she got promoted,” Marius started.

“Well, that’s great for her. So, are we here to celebrate her promotion? Where is she? I haven’t seen her like ages!” Courfeyrac asked, oblivious of Marius’ tone and looked left or right, as if Eponine was going to jump out any second now and yelled “Surprise!”

“Courf, she’s not here. She’s not in the country actually. Her job required her to move to another country. She has left,” Marius said gloomily, dropping the bomb on the trio.

Enjolras felt like his world had gone black. He knew that Eponine and him both needed the distance but to move to another country was out of the question. Why would Eponine move and leave all her friends here? How could she? How could she not tell him? After all that they’ve been through, this was how she wanted it to end? 

Combeferre and Courfeyrac looked stunned by the new information and suddenly, Combeferre said, “You’re joking, right? Please tell me that you’re joking!”

“No, he is not joking,” Cosette murmured. All eyes turned to her. Combeferre and Courfeyrac looked completely devastated. 

All of the sudden, Enjolras asked, “How long have you known?”

“What?” Cosette turned her gaze from Marius to Enjolras.

“How long have you known that she’s moving to another country? How long have you been keeping this secret from us? No, how long have you all been keeping this secret from the three of us?” Enjolras asked. His tone was dangerously calm as he finally understood why he hardly saw Marius and Cosette these days, why he hardly saw the Amis. They were helping Eponine to move. He felt betrayed.

“She wanted to move to Malaysia peacefully,” Cosette said calmly and Enjolras’ heart sank. Malaysia? That’s like worlds away. “… and she did not want anyone to stop her, especially you,” Cosette said to Enjolras. Her tone was also calm but he could sense that she’s blaming everything on him. 

“How could you, Marius? You knew and you didn’t tell us? We thought you’re our friend!” Courfeyrac said heatedly.

“Do not blame Marius. It was my idea. Eponine wanted to tell you guys but I told her no. She was having a hard time getting over Enjolras and this is a golden opportunity for her to move on. If she told you and Combeferre, you’ll tell Enjolras and everything will be so messed up again” Cosette said calmly without any remorse, without thinking about how her decision was the one which messed everything up.

Enjolras scoffed. Cosette turned to Enjolras.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” she said crossly.

“You know Cosette? I have always known that you are quite a bitch but I didn’t know that you could be this despicable,” Enjolras was furious and Marius moved to stand between him and Cosette to protect her, “A hypocrite, that’s what you are. You’re so sweet and innocent on the outside but inside, you’re the ugliest and the vilest human being I had ever the misfortune to meet. You had no right to tell Eponine what she should do. You had no right to keep us apart. You had no right keep this thing a secret from us!” he said accusingly and his tone was full of hate.

“Don’t say those things to my girlfriend, Enjolras,” Marius defended Cosette.

Cosette however, was unafraid of Enjolras. She softly pushed Marius away and strode towards Enjolras. Enjolras barely had a moment to register what happened when she suddenly slapped him on his cheek. Her slap left a mark on Enjolras’ face due to its force.

Cosette now was shaking with fury. “You are the vile man here, Enjolras. You cheated on her, you hurt her. You promised her, promised me, that you would never ever let anyone treat her badly her but now, you’re the one who betrayed her trust in the worst possible way. Do you know how long it took me to convince her that you’re not worth her tears? Do you know how long did it take her to stop calling me every single night in tears because she missed you? Do you know how many times we fought for this month only because I had to use every ounce of energy I have to stop her from going back to you? I do! She was miserable and I had never seen her so depressed!”

“I had to have her move to our new place a few blocks from my office, where none of you knew where she was, okay? Not even the Amis. She needed her space and I provided that for her,”

“Why,” Enjolras said through gritted teeth, “did you not let her come back to me?! You had no right to interfere in our business like that, Cosette! I still love her and I have been nothing but a miserable mess without her. Do you have any idea what you have done to me? To us??!”

“Eponine is like a sister to me, Enjolras,” Cosette said and she could barely control her rage. Marius had to hold to her tightly to keep her from attacking Enjolras, “I have every right to protect her from a monster like you,”

“If you truly love her like you claim you do, you would let her go. You would accept that you had your chance and you blew it!” Cosette spat.

She took a moment before saying the next sentence. This time, her tone was maliciously calm, “If you don’t, you would be nothing but a possessive, idiotic, awful parasite who had to have everything in his own way without caring about other people’s feelings.” 

“Let her go, Enjolras. She’s moving on and she does not need you in her life anymore. Let go,” a voice said behind Enjolras. He turned around and saw Grantaire standing by the kitchen door, emptying his glass of wine.

“No, you are wrong. I am going to the airport. She can’t leave, not like this,” Enjolras said, moving to the door, pushing Grantaire aside. His world was spinning. He did not want to believe that Eponine was in another country. He refused to accept that she had moved without telling him, without saying goodbye.

Grantaire however, grabbed his arm. Enjolras turned to yell at him but he stopped when he saw that Grantaire’s blue eyes were looking at him with sympathy and understanding instead of anger and loathing.

“Please, don’t do this to her. I am begging you. Please, stop,” he said calmly.

With that, Enjolras stilled. He slumped to the floor, hating himself for realizing that Cosette and Grantaire were right, hating Eponine for leaving, hating his life for turning upside down, leaving him to be nothing but a mess.

The worst of all, deep inside, he knew that he had no one else to blame for all that but himself.


	3. The One when Eponine was Back

Cosette and Marius were relaxing at Café Musain during their lunch time. Marius had his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder, while she was rubbing her swollen belly affectionately. Cosette was three months pregnant now and both of them could not be happier. The couple looked calm, as if there’s no one else in this world but them. Cosette looked at Marius and beamed. She reached the back of his neck and pulled him in for a loving kiss. Cosette had never felt happier because she knew that ever since she met Marius, that man had claimed a very special place in her heart in which there’s only him and absolutely no one could ever replace him. Now, they’re expecting their first child together and Cosette thanked God every day for she had met her true soul mate. Marius kissed her back, feeling warm and safe in her embrace. The couple were so in love and nothing really mattered in this world for them but each other.

“Gosh, you guys are sickening. Get a room,” said Grantaire as he joined them at their booth, interrupting their moment.

Marius and Cosette pulled back from their kiss and glared at Grantaire. 

“Okay, it’s official. We literally cannot have a minute alone without our friends butting in,” Cosette whispered at Marius, causing the man to chuckle. He let go of Cosette and turned to Grantaire who had his face buried in his hands, groaning and complaining about his headache. 

“How is your day, Grantaire?” Marius asked politely although he was still quite annoyed at him for interrupting his time with Cosette. Grantaire scowled at Marius for asking a question in which the answer was obvious. Marius smiled looking at him. Grantaire looked absolutely terrible. He had eye bags under his eyes, his hair was messy and his skin was dry. He kept rubbing his temple, hoping that it would reduce some of his pain. Cosette looked sympathetic and worried of him but Marius looked amused.

“Terrible. I have headache all morning. I cannot concentrate on my work and I literally cannot do anything because of it,” Grantaire answered miserably and shot an angry look at Marius who chortled, clearly was too used to seeing him dealing with bad hangovers that he didn’t take it seriously anymore. Cosette however, still managed to feel bad for him.

“Well, maybe you should cut down on the booze. Seriously R, we have been through this for like a million times already. I am worried about you,” Cosette said.

“Cosette, spare your lectures. I am not here to listen to them,” Grantaire snapped, sounding irritated. Cosette was about to open her mouth to argue but Marius took her hand in his, shaking his head, asking Cosette to drop it. He understood that there’s no use trying to talk to Grantaire about ending his drinking habit and although he knew that his girlfriend had good intentions, sometimes he thought that she should leave some people alone. He used to let Cosette do whatever she wanted but after she meddled with Eponine and Enjolras’ relationship, he knew that he needed to keep close eyes on her before she started another fight with his friends again. Cosette in turn looked at him in disbelief but in the end decided to not get into it. She simple shook her head and took a sip of her apple juice, frowning at Grantaire. 

“Sometimes I wish Eponine is still here so that I won’t always be stuck with you, R.” Cosette murmured bitterly. 

Grantaire nodded sadly and answered, “Me too, Cosette, me too,”

Eponine, Cosette and Grantaire were the best of friends. Sometimes they wondered how they managed to get along so well because the only thing that they had in common was that they could effortlessly annoy Enjolras to hell and beyond. Perhaps their differences were the ones that brought them closer together. Cosette was always the rational one in the trio. Grantaire was the most spontaneous in making life decisions while Eponine was the most adventurous but still quite careful. They complimented each other perfectly and after some time, all of them grew close enough to be extremely protective of each other. Therefore, when Eponine fell in love with Enjolras who according to the other two, was a pretentious jerk, they could not help but to protest. It was until after the fifth month of Eponine and Enjolras’ relationship that they finally opened their eyes and saw how happy Enjolras made her so they finally stopped trying to give Enjolras a hard time and gave the couple their blessing.

However, when Enjolras screwed things up and the couple broke up, it was Grantaire’s turn to be the rational one in the trio. When Eponine showed up at Grantaire’s apartment, crying her eyes out, Grantaire instantly called Cosette and the two spent the whole night trying to calm Eponine down and got her to tell them what happened. When she finally told them that Enjolras cheated on her and slept with someone else, Cosette was the one who wanted to go after that man and Grantaire was pretty sure that Cosette was going to murder Enjolras if he hadn’t stopped her. The month when Enjolras and Eponine broke up was the hardest month Grantaire had to endure because he suddenly was stuck between the emotionally vulnerable Eponine and the angry and irrational Cosette. Therefore, when Eponine and Cosette fought every day because the latter refused to let her go back to Enjolras, Grantaire was the one who had to break the fight and reminded Eponine of why she left Enjolras at the first place. When Cosette meddled in their business by having Eponine move to her new place without telling anyone, Grantaire was the one who argued with her because of her ridiculousness. He managed to get Cosette to tell the other Amis about Eponine’s new place but no matter how hard he tried, he could not convince the two women to tell Enjolras, Combeferre and Courfeyrac about Eponine’s whereabouts. In the end, his loyalty to Eponine and Cosette beat everything but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t hurt having to pick sides.

Nevertheless, when Eponine told him that she’s going to move to Malaysia and tried to give some dumbass excuse about it being a great opportunity for her, he was the one who read her and knew right away that it was one of her ways to get away from facing Enjolras. Cosette was happy for her because she was completely clueless about Eponine’s tactic of running away from Enjolras. The woman truly thought that Eponine managed to get over her ex-boyfriend. Grantaire however, was not fooled and asked Eponine to look him in the eye and told him that this move to Malaysia had nothing to do with Enjolras. Eponine could not lie to him so she finally said that she knew that she would never get over Enjolras if she’s in the same city as him so when her boss offered her the promotion, she took it without thinking twice. Grantaire was about to protest her decision but Cosette put her hand on his shoulder, asking him to let Eponine be. Again, Grantaire could not do anything but to support his friend’s decision.

However, when Eponine and Cosette decided that she was moving to Malaysia without telling Enjolras, he knew that it was the last call and decided those two were letting their emotions blurring their ability to think straight so he must step up and take actions. Thus, he confided Marius who then managed to get Cosette to tell him her plans. Marius who was then so angry at Cosette, told Enjolras, Combeferre and Courfeyrac, and they reacted just like he predicted. They were extremely pissed off and disappointed. Nevertheless, Grantaire could not let Enjolras stop Eponine from moving. Although it was with a heavy heart, he understood that Eponine needed to move so he stopped Enjolras from going after her. He cursed himself for breaking his friend’s heart but this was a situation in which both sides would get hurt and there was absolutely nothing he could do to make things better.

Eponine leaving New York for Malaysia was a dark time for both him and Cosette. Although he thought that Cosette was an incredible friend, he still missed Eponine’s sass and witty remarks whenever Cosette lectured him about his drinking habit. He appreciated Cosette’s concern and if he’s being honest, he was touched that she cared so much about him but it didn’t mean that sometimes she didn’t annoy him. If Eponine was here with him, she would tell her to drop it and leave him alone because her nagging would not make anything better for Grantaire. Eponine going to Malaysia made him realize that she was the glue to their relationship and without her; everything just did not feel the same.

“I wish that she’s here, Cosette. It’s been three years. I miss her so much.” Grantaire said sadly.

“I miss her too,” Cosette said. She moved closer to Grantaire and hugged him tightly. She too missed Eponine so much that she could not stop her tears from flowing down her pale cheeks. Three years without Eponine was the loneliest three years on her life and she needed her best friend to be back in New York soon.

“Cosette, please don’t cry,” Grantaire said, pulling away from Cosette’s embrace. He wiped Cosette’s tears lovingly and pulled her into another hug, “Hush, hush, she’ll come back soon. She belongs in New York, with us. This is not forever,” he whispered, trying to calm Cosette who was sobbing in his embrace.

Marius who was sitting across those two was smiling widely. Grantaire frowned. How could Marius still managed to smile when they were obviously feeling down?

“I don’t think you guys should be so sad,” Marius said cheekily and his grin grew wider, which Grantaire thought wasn’t possible.

“… and why is that?” Grantaire questioned sceptically, wondering why the man sounded too chirpy. Cosette apparently was thinking of the same thing so she pulled away from Grantaire to glare at her boyfriend.

“Because our dear ‘Ponine is back,” Marius said as he waved enthusiastically at someone at the café’s door. Both Cosette and Grantaire turned their heads to the café’s door and their face lighted up. Standing by it was a beautiful brunette wearing her signature dimpled smile. She had tears of happiness in her eyes and she opened her arms for Cosette and Grantaire to come hug her. Cosette and Grantaire cheered joyfully and hurried to welcome their best friend whom they had not seen in three years, whom they missed dearly.

Yes, Eponine was back in New York and now, she had no intention of leaving. She was here to stay.


	4. The One with Them Meeting Again

“I cannot believe that you’re back!” Cosette squealed, hugging Eponine tightly. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have gotten you at the airport!” she exclaimed, releasing Eponine from her embrace and dragged the brunette to her booth. Grantaire and Marius followed them from behind, looking amused at Cosette’s excitement. 

“I wanted to surprise you guys,” Eponine smiled as she took a seat between Cosette and Grantaire. She looked around the café and found it funny that although it had been three years, the café still looked the same and her friends still sit in their usual booth. As if nothing had changed, she said to herself. She signalled the waitress to come to them, and ordered a cup of coffee and a croissant. She just got back from a very, very long journey and she was starving. 

She turned her head to her friends and saw Cosette eyeing her, observing her curiously.

“What is it? Is there something in my teeth?” Eponine asked, reaching her handbag to find a mirror.

“No honey, it’s nothing. It’s just… you look beautiful,” she answered, “Not that you’re not beautiful before but you look different. Good different though, you look absolutely gorgeous.” she said admiringly, her eyes were still on Eponine. Grantaire cleared his throat.

“You have a boyfriend, Cosette, and do I need to remind you that you’re pregnant with his baby?” Grantaire interrupted, earning a glare from Cosette. Eponine blushed while Marius put his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder protectively. Cosette giggled and kissed her boyfriend’s cheek, making him smile. 

“You’re beautiful too, baby. Don’t be jealous” she said softly as she moved closer into Marius’ embrace. Grantaire made a gagging sound, clearly sick of the lovebirds. Eponine laughed. It had been three years but Marius and Cosette still acted like two teenagers in love, as if they fell in love with each other deeper every single day. It was sickening and sweet at the same time. 

“Malaysia was good but I am glad I am home,” Eponine said. She sipped her coffee and reminisced her time in Malaysia.

Being in Malaysia was indeed good for her. The sunny weather in Malaysia made her smooth skin more tanned. The scrumptious local cuisine caused her to gain healthy weight so her face was fuller and since she had a haircut a few months back, her hair was now at shoulders length, showing her beautiful face perfectly. Her new friends and co-workers in Malaysia were outgoing and kind and they made her first experience in a foreign country fun and exciting instead of sad and unbearable. She was hardly homesick and she considered that an achievement as she really loved New York. Since she was happy in Malaysia, everything turned out well for her. Everyone in Malaysia adored her so she was promoted again. She was needed by her company’s office in New York, so she’s back. To top it all, she even had a new apartment now. Life was good for Eponine Thenardier. She missed Malaysia but she knew that her heart always belonged in New York, so she felt like she’s finally home.

“I am just glad that I am here. I have missed you guys so much,” she said, squeezing Grantaire and Cosette’s hands. 

They grinned and Grantaire said, “We’re glad you’re back, Ep. Welcome home,”

….............................................................................................................................................................................................

Combeferre and Courfeyrac were walking to the Musain to get some lunch before going back to their office. They just got back from the court after winning the case that they worked for months to solve. Both of them were really satisfied that their hard work managed to put another bastard behind bars and justice was served to the innocent. They wanted to celebrate tonight but everyone was busy so they decided to treat themselves for a big lunch at Musain. Both Courfeyrac and Combeferre were in a really a good mood and they thought that there was absolutely nothing could ruin their day today.

“What are you going to have?” Courfeyrac asked as he opened the door to Musain, letting Combeferre enter first. His question however, remained unanswered. He was about to ask again but he saw that his friend froze. He followed Combeferre’s gaze. Then Courfeyrac too was so shocked that he felt his jaw drop. In their usual booth was Eponine, who was laughing at Grantaire’s joke. Marius and Cosette were also laughing, clearly having such a good time catching up with the woman who three years ago, broke Enjolras’ heart, broke both Combeferre and Courfeyrac’s hearts by leaving without saying goodbye. Courfeyrac decided that he did not feel like saying hi to Eponine, so he tugged on Combeferre’s arm, trying to get them out of the café before they were noticed by the group.

Courfeyrac knew that it was childish of him to still hold grudges against Eponine for leaving without telling them three years ago. However, he had never felt so betrayed and for him, betrayal is betrayal, and it sucked that it came from his own friend. No matter how much he tried, he still could not get over it. Heck, it took him a long time before forgiving Marius and Cosette. It was until they found out that she was pregnant that he could truly forgive her and after years, the group finally reconciled. Enjolras and Eponine’s break up caused them to take separate ways and Eponine moving to Malaysia made matters worse. He wondered whether those two realized what they did to all of them.

“Combeferre, come on,” he pulled his best friend’s arm but Combeferre remained frozen on his spot. He was about to scold him when Marius saw them and called out their name. Shit.

“Hey you guys! Come join us!” he exclaimed and Eponine turned her head to see her two friends staring at her. One was glaring at her while the other one looked beyond shocked. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Grantaire took her hand in his to calm her down. She looked at him, asking him what to do because she was afraid to meet Combeferre and Courfeyrac but Grantaire assured her that they were no longer mad at her, just like they’re no longer mad at Marius and Cosette. 

Eponine loved Grantaire but she knew that what he said to her just now was nothing but utter bullshit. They were furious at her, she knew it and she better brace herself to face their wrath.

“How is it going?” Courfeyrac asked as they reached their table. Marius smiled, simply oblivious of the icy silence that fell as Combeferre and Courfeyrac joined them at their booth. Combeferre seemed to have recovered from his shock of seeing Eponine and now was back to himself.

“How are you, Eponine?” Combeferre asked politely. Almost too politely that Eponine cringed. It was as if they were never friends before, as if they were two strangers who had just met. Her eyes met Combeferre’s cold stare and she felt suffocated. 

“I am doing well. Thanks for asking,” she answered, her voice was thick as she refused to break under his icy stare. Combeferre nodded. He then turned to the waitress to order his food and Eponine glanced at Grantaire, who squeezed her hand, indicating that she was doing well and had nothing to be afraid of.

Cosette tried to diffuse the tension by telling them about Eponine’s experience in Malaysia but Eponine thought that she made things worse. Cosette telling them all about Malaysia probably fuelled the anger as it reminded them of why they were furious at her at the first place. However, she could not do anything so she simply faked a smile and let Cosette tell the story.

“Malaysia sounds like a nice place, Eponine. Clearly you had a good time. You must have made a lot of new friends there,” Combeferre said courteously, turning his gaze from Cosette to Eponine. His tone was calm but incredibly hostile. Eponine gulped and nodded. God, she would prefer Combeferre yelling at her. She did not like this Combeferre. He was always so kind to her and to receive this kind of treatment from him, it hurt.

“Did you say goodbye to them before coming back to New York though? Or did you leave without saying a word like you did to us?” Courfeyrac blurted. He had no idea how Combeferre managed to be polite. Courfeyrac was seething with anger so he did not bother to be nice and kind. It took everything he had to not shout his dissatisfactions at Eponine and create a scene right now.

“Courfeyrac, please, don’t do this,” Marius pleaded, finally realizing the tension in the group.

“Courf, don’t. Be cool,” Combeferre hissed under his breath. He did not want to get into a fight right now, not after he was so happy a few moments earlier. However, as he looked at his friend, he knew that he could not do anything to calm him down. After Eponine left, Enjolras was dejected but Courfeyrac was furious. He had never felt so betrayed because Eponine not only hurt his friend, but also hurt him and Courfeyrac just could not handle it as well as Combeferre did. 

“Why are you here?” Courfeyrac asked coldly. Eponine looked up and met his eyes and saw that they were filled with loathing. It killed her to see him looking at her like that so she turned away, refusing to meet his eyes.

“No, look at me, Eponine!” Courfeyrac raised his voice and Eponine could not help but to feel a little scared, “Why are you back in New York? Why come back to us while three years ago, you didn’t give a shit about our feelings?” Courfeyrac asked heatedly and Eponine felt tears misting in her eyes. 

“I… I…” Eponine started, she did not know what to say.

“You do realize that now that you’re back, you’re going to see Enjolras again, right? You do know that he tried his best to get over you, right? And now that you’re back, you’re going to hurt him again. He did a shitty thing by cheating on you but you coming back after years not contacting him, that’s just fucked up. You’re going to open old wounds and I cannot let you do that,” Courfeyrac spat.

Eponine felt tears streaming down her face. She did not expect this on her first day back in New York. Courfeyrac’s words stung and it was made worse when she could not think of anything to defend herself. She could not say anything because she knew that she deserved everything he threw at her. However, she knew that she could not sit there with them anymore so she got up, grabbed her handbag and went to the door, ignoring Grantaire and Cosette’s protests. 

“Good, leave. That’s how you deal with everything. When things get tough, you leave. I expect nothing less from you,” Courfeyrac said coldly and Eponine had enough, so she walked out of the door.

….............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Eponine just got back from her office after settling some work and she was tired. It had been a long day for Eponine and she wanted nothing but to get settled in her new apartment and get some well-deserved rest. She sighed as she looked at all the boxes, wondering how long it would take to unpack all of them. She could not do this alone, she needed help, so she planned to take some time off this weekend and ask Grantaire and Cosette to come over to help her.

She made a note on her phone and sighed as she lay on her bed, looking at the ceiling. Courfeyrac’s words were still ringing in her ears. She could not get them out. Although it killed her to admit it, he was right. It was very irresponsible for her to go without telling them. It was childish and spineless of her to just take off. She did feel guilty when she first got to Malaysia but what was done, was done and she could not look back. Coming back to New York surely would open old wounds but what was she supposed to do? Go back to Malaysia? 

It hurt that she lost her friendship to Combeferre and Courfeyrac because of her one stupid, thoughtless action. She wondered whether she could do anything to get them to forgive her. Could they ever forgive her?

Then she thought about Enjolras. God, it still hurt thinking about him. She cursed herself for missing him. She cursed herself for wondering whether he still thought about her. She cursed herself for still loving him.

She knew that she was in deep trouble when it came to Enjolras. She knew that she could never stop loving him. It’s not that she did not try but something just did not feel right when she tried to date someone else. She was with Enjolras for two years and during that time, she knew that she wanted to spend her life with no one but him. Although she wanted to take the relationship slow, she knew that in the end, she would settle down with no one but him. But that was then.

It still hurt thinking about him. He used to occupy her heart and her mind. Now, there was nothing but a hollow place in her heart where her faith in him used to be. Without it, she felt nothing but emptiness. She wondered whether that’s the reason why it’s hard for her to start dating again. She cursed Enjolras. He gave her the greatest pain but she kept holding to him because he was her greatest joy, the one who shook her world and made everything better. Damn it all. She hated herself for loving this man too much.

Suddenly, she heard the doorbell. She looked at the clock, wondering why someone would come to her house late at night. To her surprise, it was only 9 o’clock. God, she must have been so tired that she lost track of the time. She groaned and got up from her bed.

She opened the door and was startled to find Combeferre and Courfeyrac standing in front of her.

“If you come simply to say yell at me, I am not in the mood,” she said. Their words earlier were still fresh in her mind and she was not sure whether she was ready to hear their outburst again.

“No, we just wanted to talk… nicely,” Combeferre said quietly. His tone was no longer malicious but instead, it was calm and kind. Just like the tone he always used whenever he talked to her. Eponine’s heart softened. She moved to let the two men in and she heard Courfeyrac murmured “I cannot believe that Cosette made us do this,” under his breath. Eponine smiled. She was impressed at the power that Cosette had on the Les Amis. How did she get them to listen to her, she would never know.

They settled in the living room. Combeferre took a seat while Courfeyrac looked out the window, admiring the view. 

“I have to say, this is a nice place,” Courfeyrac muttered.

“Thank you,” Eponine answered shortly, taking a seat next to Combeferre. They all sat in awkward silence, until Combeferre finally spoke his mind, until he finally said the one thing that bothered him for three years.

“Are we your friends, Eponine?” he said quietly. Eponine was taken aback by his question.

“What? Ferre, why would you ask such question?”

“Because it didn’t feel like we are. You went away without even saying goodbye, as if we’re nothing to you, Ep. I know that we’re not as close to you as Cosette and R but we still consider you our friend. It just hurts feeling like you didn’t acknowledge us as yours, that’s all,” Combeferre said sadly.

“What’s worse is that you did not make an effort to contact us for the last three years. Is it because we’re close to Enjolras? If so, that’s just childish, Ep. No matter how shitty things get between you too, all of us were in your life once, and you don’t cut people out of your life without saying a word. That’s just mean and fucked up and totally uncalled for,” Courfeyrac continued. 

Eponine kept quiet. She could not think of anything to defend herself. Partly because she’s tired, partly because she knew that she’s wrong and she thought that there’s no way that she’s ever going to make up for what she did.

“I don’t know what to say. I am sorry. I am really, really sorry,” her voice broke. Courfeyrac turned his head to Eponine and saw her wiping away her tears. Both of them did not see that coming so they stilled, not knowing what to do. They were never good at consoling distressed women. Combeferre awkwardly patted Eponine’s back.

“I am a shitty friend,” Eponine continued, “I do not know what to say to justify my actions. I think it is probably because there’s nothing to say. I am a coward for running away just like that. I am a selfish, inconsiderate bitch and both of you deserve better. Enjolras deserves better. All of you deserve better. I am sorry. I am so, so, sorry,” she sobbed. She did not like crying. It was tiring and she always thought that it would never make anything better. But she cried a lot these past years. She must have gotten soft. 

Courfeyrac moved to sit next to Eponine. 

“I have fucked everything up, haven’t I?” Eponine whispered.

“Both you and Enjolras fucked everything up. We just happen to be sucked into this whole mess,” Courfeyrac sighed, cracking a little smile. She turned to look at Combeferre and saw his expression had softened. 

 

“You guys mean a lot to me, you know? You’re my friends. I am sorry that I hardly contact you guys while I was in Malaysia. I am sorry for leaving. I am sorry for everything. I don’t expect you guys to forgive me but… I hope you do,” she finished lamely.

“Is it worth it though?” Combeferre asked. 

“What do you mean?”

“Moving to Malaysia. I mean, you moved to get away from Enjolras, to get over him. Did you get over him?”

Eponine sighed. She really did not want to answer that question right now. She really did not want to even think about her feelings for Enjolras anymore but well, she could not always get what she want so she had to face this, sooner or later.

“I don’t know. I will always love him, he will always have a special place in my heart but we’re not getting back together for sure. I am no longer mad at him though. Right now I just hope that he’s not mad at me,”

“He could never be mad at you, Ep,” Courfeyrac said.

“Well, we’ll just see about that,” Eponine shrugged.

“Wait, are you going to see him?” Combeferre questioned and Courfeyrac turned to look at Eponine. 

“I am going to. I cannot avoid him, can I? We’re all friends and because of me, the group separated. I need to make things right,” 

Courfeyrac smiled. 

“Good,” he said.

“I miss you guys,” Eponine said quietly, starting to sob again. Shit, she hated how touchy she got today. She’s usually so tough. Well, she’s tired and she missed her friends almost too much, so everything got overwhelming. Both Combeferre and Courfeyrac chuckled seeing the usually cool Eponine got extremely emotional. They put their arms around her, pulling her into a group hug. It would take time for them to fully forgive her but right now, they did not want to be angry at her anymore. There’s no use anyway. Right now, the problem was for Eponine and Enjolras to solve. They no longer want to be a part of it.

 

“We miss you too, Ep. Just… the next time you move to another country, tell us, okay? No excuses,” Courfeyrac whispered in her ear, earning a chuckle from Eponine. They hugged for God knows how long until they realized that it started to get awkward, so they let go, clearing their throats.

“So, are you going to need help unpacking?” Combeferre asked, looking at the piles of boxes. Eponine sighed as she wiped her tears.

“Maybe this weekend. I am too tired to do anything right now,” Eponine said, yawning and leaned her head on Combeferre’s shoulder, closing her eyes. The flight to New York, her work and all that crying really wore Eponine out so she fell asleep as soon as she closed her eyes. Combeferre laughed seeing Eponine fell asleep so fast but then his laughter gradually stopped when he saw how serene and beautiful Eponine was when she’s asleep. He suddenly felt like he could not move a muscle because he feared that he might wake her up.

“Well, I need to get going,” Courfeyrac said as he checked his phone, “Are you coming with me?” he said and saw Combeferre watching Eponine, who was already asleep, her head on his shoulder. He saw his friend reached out and tugged Eponine’s hair behind her ears, still not breaking his gaze on her. Courfeyrac found his friend’s action weird so he cleared his throat to get his attention.

“Ferre,”

“What?”

“I said, are you coming with me?” Courfeyrac asked, raising his eyebrow. 

“Yes, of course. Wait… should I wake her up?” Combeferre asked.

“I don’t know. It’s your shoulder she’s leaning on” Courfeyrac answered absent-mindedly.

Combeferre wondered for a while. Then, he decided that he did not have the heart to wake her up but he could not stay either. Therefore, he carefully moved her head from his shoulder and laid her on the couch. Eponine moved but she did not wake up.

“I’ll get her blanket,” Courfeyrac said, getting up to get her blanket but Combeferre stopped him.

“We can’t leave her on the couch” he said seriously as he slowly picked Eponine up and carried her to her bedroom. He gently put Eponine on her bed and covered her with her blanket. He turned around and found Courfeyrac staring at him incredulously, crossing his arms. 

“What?” Combeferre asked. Courfeyrac looked as if he wanted to say something but then decided that it was not a big deal so he shrugged it off, handing Combeferre’s coat to him.

“Never mind. Let’s go,” he said, walking out of the bedroom. Combeferre followed him. As he was closing the bedroom door, he took one last glance at Eponine. He smiled.

“Welcome home, Ep,” Combeferre whispered and he strolled out of her apartment.


	5. The One with The Spilt Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is pretty embarrassing, but I just realized that I made a mistake uploading the chapter. This is supposed to be the chapter 5, and the chapter 5 that some of you have read before this was the chapter 6.   
> I am so, so sorry for the screw up :(

It was a fine morning in New York. The weather was not too cold and it was not too hot either so Enjolras was in a particularly good mood. He got out of his apartment, inhaled the fresh morning air and beamed. So far, so good. He was positive that today was going to be a good day.

He stopped by at Starbucks near his apartment to get his daily caffeine which he needed badly because he could not function well for the rest of the day without one. He was a coffee addict for sure, and this addiction of his used to annoy Eponine to hell and beyond although she too, enjoyed a cup of it every once in a while. Enjolras would drink a cup of coffee during breakfast, lunch and dinner, causing him to not be able to go to bed early during the night although he had an early morning the next day. He used his nights completing his works and studying his cases but sometimes when Eponine's in the mood, she would accompany him while he's doing his work and even managed to coax him into doing more… enjoyable activities.

The barista knew Enjolras well because he went to the coffee shop every morning so he did not even bother to tell her his order. He paid for his coffee and waited for her to make it. Suddenly, his phone rang. Enjolras frowned. Who in the right mind would call him early in the morning? It better not be from work. He still had an hour to spare before going to office so whatever they needed to tell him, they could tell him then. He looked at his phone and was surprised to see Combeferre's ID.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Enjolras. Am I bothering you? Is it too early?" Combeferre asked.

"It is too early to be calling anybody but no, you're not bothering me. What's up?" Enjolras answered. The barista handed him his coffee and he took it from her gladly. He raised his cup to the barista as a sign of thank you and went to take a seat by the window. It was his favourite spot.

"I need to tell you something. Please promise me that you won't freak out," Combeferre said, sounding anxious.

"What did Grantaire do now?" Enjolras said exasperatedly. He loved all of his friends but Grantaire sometimes was almost too much to handle. Just like Eponine, his reckless behaviour drove him crazy to the point that he was sick of it. Grantaire always got into trouble and Enjolras was the one who had to help him wriggle his way out of it. Not that he minded but God, that man needed to be more cautious. He supposed he should be glad that Eponine's in another country now. With Eponine around, those two were the unstoppable duo who never failed to give him massive headache.

"What? No, R did not do anything wrong. It's about Eponine," Combeferre said softly, dropping the bomb on Enjolras.

Oh. Well, he did not expect that at all. He had not heard a lot from his ex-girlfriend for the last three years. Surely sometimes her name came up whenever he's around Marius and Cosette but they're always careful not to say a lot about her life in Malaysia because they thought that he's still sensitive over their break up, which Enjolras thought was silly of them. He's already past their break up. If Eponine did not care enough to even have the decency to tell him that she was moving to another country, then he should not give a rat's ass about her either.

Nevertheless, it did not mean that any mention of her name did not bring that sensation in the pit of his stomach. What would Jehan call it? Oh, those 'butterflies in your stomach' shit, indicating that he's still in love with her and all that bullcrap. He would be lying if he said that he did not miss her. Instead, he missed her so much that it hurt but he was also clouded by his anger towards her. But he did not love her anymore, no, he did not love her anymore, no, no, no. He's not in love with her anymore, right? Okay, to be honest, he did not know but he did not care. Feelings were confusing and often caused him to be emotionally exhausted. Sometimes he wished he did not even have one.

"Oh? What about her?" he asked, flinched when he realized how throaty his voice sounded.

"She is back in New York, Enjolras,"

Enjolras felt like he was hit by a ton of bricks. Okay, he definitely did not expect that. Enjolras was overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions in which he did not know how to handle. He was angry but at the same time relieved knowing that now she's near him now and she's no longer far away. He missed her but at the same time he did not think that he wanted to see her. He yearned for her but at the same time he wanted to keep his distance. How could he love and hate her at the same time? Damn.

"Oh, okay," Enjolras answered shortly.

"Okay? That's it?" Combeferre sounded shocked.

"What else do you want me to say, Ferre?" Enjolras snapped.

"I don't know. I thought you'd have more to say than just 'okay'. This is Eponine we're talking about" Combeferre retorted, sounding utterly annoyed.

"Well, it's good that she's here. It's none of my business anyway," Enjolras said coldly. He realized how childish he sounded but he could not bring himself to care.

"Enjolras, it is your business! I know that you're still in love with her and…" Combeferre started but Enjolras interrupted him.

"I don't want to talk about this. I need to go now. I'm walking to the office today. I'll see you there," Enjolras said shortly and hung up the phone.

He sighed. He wondered how everything was going to be now that Eponine was back. Enjolras could not avoid her for sure. He was going to see her whenever the group got together for special occasions. How would she react when she saw him? How would he react if he saw her?

Enjolras rubbed his temple. His good mood had now dissipated and was replaced by this crushing weight in his chest. He did not know what to do and he hated it. He was always a man with a plan. Not having a clear view of a situation and a strategy to face it caused Enjolras to feel very vulnerable. He did not like to feel vulnerable. Enjolras always had Combeferre to assist him in all sorts of plans but he doubted that even his best friend could help him in this matter.

With a defeated groan, he got up of his chair and headed towards the door. He was so immersed in his thought that he did not see where he was going. Before he knew it, he ran straight into a woman, spilling hot coffee all over his shirt and her blouse.

"FUCK!" Enjolras cursed, scowling with pain as the hot coffee burned his skin. He quickly went to the counter and grabbed some tissues, trying to clean the coffee stain off his pale skin, throwing his cup of coffee which he had not even had a sip yet into the garbage can. Good, now he had to run back to his apartment to change. Why in the world did he choose to wear a white shirt today? He was so sure that today was going to be a good day but now, everything got fucked up and he did not even get to sip his morning coffee yet! Enjolras kept cursing and once he finished cleaning himself, he walked to the door, not bothering to apologize to the woman he ran into. He needed to run to his apartment now to change or he's going to be late for work.

However, as he was about to walk out, he heard the woman he ran into cursing furiously as she tried to get rid of the stain on her blouse. He had his back on her but her voice was familiar. No, he knew the voice very well. It was the voice that he had not heard for three years, the voice that used to calm him down when he was mad, the voice that was the music to his ears.

"What the fuck, you shithead! Are you fucking blind?! Holy shit, now I have your fucking coffee all over my blouse and you're just going to fucking walk away without an apology? No, you asshole! Turn around and face me! Did you shove your eyeballs down your ass when you woke up this morning? Didn't your parents ever teach you to watch where you're going? Huh? Huh?"

Enjolras froze at the door. He felt like his feet were glued to the floor and his muscles had gone numb, paralyzing him. Yes, he knew that way of cursing very, very well. Heck, he was even the cause of most of them three years ago when he was with her, when he was in the whirlwind of anger, passion and love. He turned around to see whether the woman was really the one he thought she was, silently praying that he was wrong.

He turned and was convinced that this was not his day. Standing before him was Eponine.

She was cursing loudly, still trying to clean her blouse using a tissue. She did not look up to see who she was yelling at. She did not even realize that it was Enjolras. Enjolras contemplated of running away while she was not looking but he could not bring himself to do so. Therefore, he just stared at her, trying to recover from shock, disbelief and an unbelievable urge to pull her into his embrace, to feel the warmth of her body against his, to never let her go again.

Enjolras thought today was going to be a good day but now it barely even started but he was already so exhausted that he could not wait for it to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I have decided that I am going to add a little bit of Eppieferre in this Enjonine story but their scene will come much, much later. I will try to make it as beautiful as I possibly can to make it worth the wait (I think this story is going to be a long one).
> 
> Please tell me what you think! Every review is deeply appreciated. They really help me to get going. I have this story drafted until Chapter 11 and it's still not halfway done so if you have any suggestions or anything, I would love to hear them!


	6. The One with Them Becoming Friends

Eponine woke up feeling refreshed and was in a very good mood. She did not remember when exactly did she fall asleep last night but she was thankful that Combeferre (or maybe Courfeyrac but she was sure that it's Combeferre who carried her to the bed) did not leave her to sleep on the cold couch. Eponine was excited to start working in her New York office again so she planned to stop by at the Starbucks near her new apartment to get a cup of coffee to start her day. Today is going to be a good day, Eponine said to herself.

Eponine, however, did not expect to get her good mood ruined so early in the morning by a jackass who ran into her with a cup of hot coffee, ruining her new blouse and burning her skin. What's worse was he even tried to get away with it! She could not let that happen so she cursed at him, wanted him to pay for it, or at least gave her some sort of apology. She kept cursing and yelling as she tried to clean herself, wondering why that jackass did not say anything. She looked up to see his face and suddenly felt like words had left her.

"Enj… Enjol… Enjolras?" she stuttered.

Enjolras however, looked calm and composed (and also incredibly handsome although his shirt was also relatively ruined). His stern gaze sent shivers down her spine and she was rendered speechless.

"Yes, it's me," he finally uttered, his voice deep and emotionless.

Oh boy, she did not expect this at all. What's she supposed to do now?

…

Life has the nastiest sense of humour. What were the odds that Eponine got a new apartment near her ex's new apartment? What were the odds that they headed for the same coffee shop at the same time this morning? What were the odds that they ran into each other, literally? It's like the entire universe was trying to play some kind of sick prank on both of them just when they decided that they were not yet ready to face each other. Eponine cursed under her breath as she followed Enjolras to his place, hugged her body to keep people from staring at her dirty top. Enjolras however, walked straight ahead without bothering about other people. His expression stony, his stride was long and fast so she had to jog a little to catch up.

He had apologized to her for ruining her blouse and invited her to his apartment. He said that when they broke up, she had left some stuff, including some old dresses in their old apartment and did not return to get them so now that she's here, he could finally give them to her.

"Why do you keep them? You could have just thrown them in the dumpster, like any other exes would do," Eponine questioned as Enjolras opened the door to his apartment. A gentleman he was, he moved aside to let Eponine enter first. His apartment was big and modern, although quite cluttered with books here and there. The stuff in his apartment was pretty luxurious too, with state-of-the-art television set and a set of comfy couches, Eponine could tell that he made quite a lot himself these past three years which she thought was worth it because Enjolras was always a hardworking man who never failed to do his job perfectly. She smiled to herself, feeling a little bit proud of him, forgetting their history of a moment.

"I thought you would come back for me." Enjolras said bitterly, slamming the door behind him, making Eponine flinch as she was brought out of her reverie. He then walked past her to his bedroom. Shit, he was mad at her. This was not how she planned their first meeting would be. She thought they would meet at the Musain where Cosette or Combeferre would be there to calm both of them down in case things got fiery, which usually happened when they're both in the same room. Angry Enjolras was not the person you would want to face early in the morning, or ever, really. She used to be the one who could easily calm him down but that was then when they're dating but now, she was not sure if she's up to face his wrath.

Enjolras came back with a box of her old stuff. He handed it to her and walked back to his bedroom, taking off his shirt on the way, muttering obscenities, complaining about that shirt being new and expensive but ruined in less than an hour of him wearing it. He stripped his shirt completely and turned to close the door. Eponine inhaled, averting her gaze to somewhere else other than Enjolras' fit and gorgeous frame. So, he's been working out, she thought to herself.

"Stop it, Eponine. What's wrong with you?" she whispered to herself. She could not get that picture out of her mind though so she had no idea how long she had been staring out the window blankly.

"Eponine, are you okay?" Enjolras came back to the living room already wearing a clean shirt, this time he's not wearing a tie. Eponine turned her head to meet his gaze. He was buttoning the cufflinks on his sleeve and then put on his black blazer. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to fix them as he looked at the mirror, which Eponine thought was a very sexy sight to behold.

"Yes, I'm okay," Eponine answered. Her voice was raspy. She shook her head and cleared her throat, "Err, where can I change?" she continued and was glad that her voice was back to normal.

"You can change in my bedroom. I'll be here," Enjolras answered shortly. Eponine nodded and quickly got to his bedroom, ignoring the smell of his sweet cologne which she used to really love as she walked past him.

Enjolras sighed as he sat on the couch. He pulled out his phone and texted Combeferre who was probably wondering where he was. They had a meeting to conduct today and Enjolras was so strict about everyone being on time. However, now the plan had changed and Enjolras knew he was not going to make it to the office to start the meeting on time so he needed Combeferre to do that for him.

I am going to be a little bit late. Start the meeting without me. – Enjolras

No problem. Where are you? Are you okay? – Ferre

Yes, I'm fine. I am with Eponine. – Enjolras

WHAT?! – Ferre

I ran into her earlier and spilt coffee all over her. Now she's in my apartment to change clothes. Do not freak out, this means nothing. – Enjolras

"Enjolras," Eponine called and Enjolras looked up from his phone. She's wearing one of her old dresses which used to be quite loose for her body but now it fit her curve perfectly. The dress showed her mile long, tanned legs and Enjolras shook his head, cursing inside as he tried to ignore how radiant she looked. She tied her hair into a bun and smiled him a smile which much to his dismay, still managed to cause his heart to thump rapidly against his chest. He did not bother to smile back so he stood up and grabbed his keys. He was ready to get out of his apartment, was ready to get her out of his sight. He was not sure whether he was ready to talk to her just yet. Eponine however, had a different idea.

"Enjolras, wait. We need to talk." Eponine said, grabbing him by the arm, causing Enjolras to squeeze his eyes shut as he felt that electricity jolting through his body. He missed that feeling and who was he kidding? He missed her. His breath laboured. Enjolras took his time to regain his composure before turning around to face the woman who once owned his heart.

"Oh, you want to talk. You did not bother to do that three years ago." he said cynically, turning to face her. His stare was cold and uncaring, and his tone was unkind, causing Eponine to freak out a little bit. She suddenly wished that Combeferre was here. Other than her, he was the only one who could calm Enjolras even when he's in his worst rage.

"Look, I know that you're mad at me…" Eponine started but stopped when Enjolras let out a barking laugh. She let go of his arm and stepped back.

"Mad?" he hissed, "Oh 'Ponine, mad doesn't even begin to describe what I am feeling right now."

Eponine cringed at the hostility of his tone. She supposed that she was to blame for everything that happened. It was really wrong for her to just take off to another country without even telling Enjolras about it. However, in her defence, it was a very, very dark time for her as she was feeling both stressed out and betrayed at the same time. It was made worse when it was caused by her own boyfriend. At that time, getting as far away as she possibly could from him felt like the only sensible thing to do. She knew that there was absolutely no way that she could ever get over him if he's near her. She loved him that much. Nevertheless, she understood that Enjolras had every right to be mad at her and she shouldn't make any excuses now. She had some damage control to do and although she would rather be anywhere on earth than be in the same room with Enjolras right now, she needed to find a way to make up for everything she had done to the marble man she used to love so much.

Well, she supposed she could do that if he did not look so damn terrifying when he's angry. She felt like she could never achieve any sort of understanding with him in this condition and she was just going to waste his and her time.

"You know what? Never mind. I know you're busy. We can talk later." she finally said, making her way to get out of the apartment.

"No, no, no. You are not getting away this time," Enjolras chided, grabbing her by the arm and led her to the living room. She got him curious about what she wanted to say and he knew that she would try to avoid him after this and he did not like to be left hanging, not knowing. Once they got there, he stared at her with those striking ocean blue eyes as she opened and closed her mouth like a fish, not knowing where to start.

"I just… I just want to say that I am sorry," Eponine began lamely.

Enjolras crossed his arms, still staring at her and she wished that he would start saying something because she had never felt like this much of an idiot. What was she thinking? She should've talk to him in the presence of other people. She doubted that she's going to ever get him to understand her position. Enjolras was a reasonable man but he's also a normal human being, he could be clouded by emotions too, especially anger. Grantaire used to tell her that Enjolras was charming but he was also capable of being terrible. At that time, she thought he was kidding. Well, now she knew that he wasn't. His silence was terrible and he could not look more intimidating.

"Go on," he said, his tone emotionless.

"Enjolras, I know that you're mad at me for leaving without telling you and…" she started but Enjolras suddenly held up his hand and interrupted.

"Let me stop you right there. You see, that's where you're wrong. You're so dwelled in your own world that you're making this all about you. Poor Eponine, her boyfriend cheated on her. Poor Eponine, she had to move to entire fucking country to get away from him. Poor Eponine, everyone's mad at her now that she's in New York. Poor her, she had been through a lot." Enjolras mocked.

"What the hell are you talking about? I am not making this all about me!" she yelled, angry at his false accusation.

"But you are! You should know by now that I am not angry at you for leaving to Malaysia!"

"Then why are you acting like this?! Why are you so pissed off?!"

Enjolras sighed, looking exasperated. He rubbed his face and then shook his head, as if she had disappointed him. He walked towards the door and said, "You know what? If you can't even figure that out for yourself, I cannot help you. The answer is obvious. You just don't see it. Forget it. Don't bother to talk to me anymore. Get the hell out of my apartment,"

"NO! You cannot say those things to me and not bother to explain it to me!" she yelled, tears stinging in her eyes but Enjolras had already opened the door. His long finger signalled her to leave, as if she's just another nuisance that he did not even bother to handle. This felt like an ugly rejection and it hurt her badly. Eponine stayed glued to her spot, refusing to go, refusing to let him had his way.

"Leave, Eponine,"

"NO! I am not going anywhere!"

"I said, LEAVE!"

"NO! I am not leaving until we have this talk! Until we figure out what's going to be of us! I cannot do this anymore, Enjolras! I have suffered ENOUGH! Our friends have suffered enough when they had to choose sides! Just because you're an egotistical, selfish, immature bastard who would rather let us go through stressful, awkward situations instead of settling this like a grown up…"

"Are you really blaming all this on me?!" Enjolras exclaimed, his eyes blazing with annoyance and disbelief.

"I am trying to settle this thing but you're backing out!" Eponine bellowed. She crossed her arms, looking challengingly at Enjolras, knowing it would drive him absolutely crazy.

"FINE! You wanted to talk? Okay, let's talk!" Enjolras roared, slamming the door behind him. Eponine was shocked that she managed to get to his nerves that fast but she refused to cringe at the sound of the slammed door, refusing to let herself be intimidated by him. Her gaze followed him and he finally opened his mouth to express his dissatisfactions that he felt in the past three years.

"You left, Eponine! You left and you did not give me a chance to fix us! Yes, I made a mistake but I would do anything to make it up to you, to save what we had because our relationship meant everything to me. You meant everything to me. Heck, I even planned to propose to you, for God's sake," Enjolras began. His voice was loud and he sounded furious. "Fuck, Eponine, you were my whole world! You left without saying a word, without even wanting to give us another try! Clearly our relationship meant nothing to you. Clearly, I meant absolutely nothing to you!" Enjolras yelled as he finally lost his temper.

He was standing right in front of Eponine now, his breath ragged, his face only inches from her. She could feel his hot breath on her face and he could feel hers too and that sent shivers to their spine. Eponine looked the other way, strutted away from him. She had tears streaming down her face. His accusation was wrong, wrong and wrong. How could he think that he meant nothing to her? How could he think that what they had meant nothing to her? He was everything to her. He's the only one she had ever truly loved. She cherished their relationship very much, unlike what he said. Eponine then stared at him in disbelief. He's the one who cheated. He's the one who ruined everything. Why would she be in a relationship with someone whom she could no longer trust?

With that thought, she too, lost her temper.

"Why the hell would I give us another try?!" she bellowed. "If it's anyone who didn't value our relationship, it was you, Enjolras. You're the one who cheated. You're the one who slept with someone else!"

Enjolras rolled his eyes as he groaned. He looked extremely frustrated.

"Do you even hear yourself right now? I didn't treasure our relationship? I was the one who wanted to propose and you're the one who freaked out. Yes, I slept with someone else but that was one big mistake which I made when I was fucking drunk! You knew that I loved you and only you. You knew that sleeping with that woman meant nothing but a drunken mistake, that it's a mistake that I would not repeat! I told you over and over again that I loved you but you did not believe me! You refused to believe me!"

"Do you even hear yourself right now? You said you cared about our relationship but you slept with someone else! How is that valuing our relationship? We had one big fight and you went to sleep with another woman! How would you expect me to ever trust you again after that?"

"God! Eponine, I said I was sorry and…"

Eponine groaned, feeling that this argument was petty and infuriating. She felt like they were going in circles and there's no way that they're going to settle anything. But she was not about to give up and let him win. No. Not just yet.

"You're sorry? Alright, let me get this straight. If I were in your place, let's just say… I was the one who slept with someone else, would you forgive me?" Eponine asked. Enjolras was caught off guard by her question.

"What? I mean, yes, of course I would" Enjolras answered and Eponine sensed the hesitation in his voice, which meant that he was not telling the entire truth.

"So you are telling me that you would forgive me even if you could not get the picture of me sprawled on another guy's bed out of your head, sweaty and breathing heavily because of all the sex we're having" she purred, trying to provoke him to give up. She moved closer, secretly satisfied when he stepped back, his jaw clenched, a clear sign that he's enraged and disgusted, so she continued, "his large hands caressing my skin, his sweet, sweet mouth kissing me, going down on me. Then I moaned his name loudly instead of yours because you're no longer in my mind and I could only think of him…"

"Alright, stop it, stop it!" Enjolras yelled as he stopped her. He closed his ears, refusing to hear more details but she was relentless. She kept approaching him until he held her at arms' length and looked at her in the eyes. His cheeks flushed and he was shaking, "Alright, I would be extremely pissed off at you but I would still want to be with you. I would not run away to another fucking country just to get away from you. I would stay with you to fix us. I would never hurt you like you hurt me. Never," he said dejectedly and he pushed her away from him.

Eponine shook her head and moved away from Enjolras. She sat on the couch, burying her head in her hands. She felt tears streaming down her face again as she realized that he was right. He would never leave her like she left him and that thought made her feel sad. It was extremely selfish of her to just take off without giving them a proper closure. It was mean of her to give up on the love of her life in the matter of seconds. Right now, she was feeling guilty and mad, and sick to her stomach thinking of her past actions. She had hurt so many people and she hated herself for that.

Enjolras heard her sob and he heaved a sigh. He hated it when Eponine was crying and it killed him knowing that he's the reason for her tears and he could not comfort her. Not knowing what else to do, he decided to sit next to her and said nothing more. They sat in silence and Eponine began, "I am so fucked up. Why did you even love me at the first place?"

He could not help but to chuckle. He cracked a little smile and murmured sadly, "Yes, you are a little bit fucked up but in a way, I am too. We're both two fucked up people who happened to share intense love with one another and along the way, created a whole lot of mess that now, none of them knew how to fix." Eponine laughed and he could not help but to laugh with her.

"Enjolras, I know that you hate me and I understand why. I deserve everything that you said," Eponine started once she stopped laughing. "You've hurt me and I have hurt you so that does not make any of us the better person. I guess I just want to tell you that… that I don't hold any grudges anymore. I don't care about what you did three years ago. I want to forget all that and put the past behind us. I want to hang out with my friends, you included, without feeling all this negative energy," she turned to look at him "I want a fresh start and I know you do too. I know that it's hard for us to start being friends but I am willing to try. But I cannot do that alone. I cannot fix the mess that we've made alone. I need you. Can we try to be friends? Can we… can we do that, Enjolras?"

Enjolras turned to her and their eyes met. She's staring at him, her eyes unsure and probably a little bit scared of his answer. Enjolras did not know what to say. He did not know whether both of them could be friends but he too was tired of all this. If Eponine wanted nothing but to try to make things better, then he should not let her do everything by herself because he caused part of the damage too. Therefore, he slowly nodded and took Eponine's hand in his.

"We can try,"

Eponine beamed, putting her other hand on his and squeezed. She mouthed, "Thank you."

Enjolras then searched his pocket for a handkerchief and when he found it, he handed it to Eponine.

"Wipe your tears. You know I hate it when you're crying."

Eponine chortled and Enjolras could not help to feel his heart soar hearing her laugh again. He had not heard that in a while and he forgot how beautiful it sounded. She took the handkerchief from him gladly and wiped the tears that stained on her cheeks. She figured that she must look horrible now as her make-up was ruined but she could not care less. She felt like a huge bulk in her chest was lifted and she could finally breathe. Eponine knew that it would take a lot of effort from her and Enjolras to finally be okay with each other's presence but she was thankful that she wasn't alone in this.

"So… are we good?" she asked.

"Yeah, we're good." Enjolras answered.

Eponine glanced at her watch and was surprised to see the time. She suddenly stood up, surprising Enjolras as she hurriedly collect her coat and bag. Eponine made her way to the door but she remembered Enjolras who just got up from his seat so she turned to say goodbye.

"Shit shit shit shit shit," Eponine cursed, "I am late for work. I'll see you later," she said absent-mindedly as she checked her bag in case she missed anything. Enjolras extended his hand for a handshake but Eponine did not realize that as she was too busy with her bag. Unconsciously, she stood on tip-toe and kissed him on his cheek. Enjolras froze and Eponine suddenly realized what she had done.

The moment was awkward because none of them knew how to react. Eponine faked a cough and murmured something (her heart was pounding so fast that she did not even remember what she said) and quickly dashed out of Enjolras' apartment after she picked up the box of her old stuff, closing the door behind her. Enjolras stood still at his spot, still shocked at Eponine's sudden action. Ignoring the butterflies in his stomach, he shrugged it off and hurriedly grabbed his suitcase to get to his office.

As he's on his way to his workplace, Enjolras denied the fluttering feelings in his heart from the chaste kiss as he touched his cheek at the spot where Eponine kissed him. Eponine attempted to ignore the soaring feeling in her heart knowing that she and Enjolras are in better terms and she could see him again soon. Eponine tried hard to get rid of Enjolras from her mind all day and Enjolras tried to do the exact same thing as he walked into his office.

Unfortunately, this time, both of them were not quite successful.


	7. The One with Eponine Reminiscing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter of this story. It's over 7000 words, can you believe it?
> 
> I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

Eponine sighed as she leaned back on her chair. She stared at the blank document on her computer screen, wondering why she could not write the article that she was assigned to. It was not that difficult. It was definitely not the most difficult article she had ever written but why couldn't she write it? Why couldn't she focus?

Actually she knew the answer to her own questions. The thought of Enjolras, again, lingered in her mind. She cursed, feeling mad at herself. It had been a week since she last saw him and because of their busy work schedule, she did not get the chance to see him again ever since. Was it wrong if she said that she missed him? Yes, yes, it's wrong. He was her ex, for God's sake and they broke up for a good reason. It was wrong for her to feel this way. Stop it Eponine, stop it!

She shook her head, slapping her own cheeks as she forced herself to stop thinking about Enjolras. Eponine closed the Microsoft Word window on her computer, accepting the fact that she was definitely not going to get the article done by today. She needed a break, to clear her mind a little bit.

Eponine moved the cursor and clicked on a 'Picture' document to view some old pictures of her and the Amis back when they're in college. When she's stressed, the thought of her friends calmed her down, which Eponine thought was ironic because she used to be quite a loner. The first picture that she clicked was a picture of her and Marius. She had her arms around him and her head on his shoulder. Marius was smiling sheepishly at the camera, looking as cute as ever.

…

Eponine Thenardier was never good at making new friends. It was not because she was shy or socially awkward. It was that she could not trust anyone. How could she? She did not have good parental figures when she grew up. Her parents made a living by lying and stealing. Not to mention, they also never failed to make her and her siblings feel like they were nothing but trash. If she could not trust even her own parents, who else should she trust? She preferred to be left alone because no one was worth her trust. She's a loner, she was always a loner.

Except one day, she met Marius Pontmercy.

She knew Marius the longest because they met in high school. Unlike Eponine, Marius was extremely popular. Every girl (and boy) wanted to date him and be like him. He was charming and intelligent, not to mention incredibly handsome.

He was the one who approached her first. She was reading in the library when Marius came to her and asked about the book she was reading. Although at first she thought he was on some kind of dare that popular kids in her school always make to humiliate outcasts like her, the sincerity and curiosity in Marius' eyes said otherwise. He really was interested, so Eponine did not have the heart to tell him to leave her alone. They chatted and clicked instantly.

Eponine and Marius was an odd pair because of their differences. So when people spotted them having lunch together or even spending most of their time in each other's company, they could not help to give the pair suspicious glances. They were jealous of her and after some time, they even called her his 'shadow', which Marius found very offensive. Eponine never cared about what people think of her but Marius did. So, he cut off connections with anyone who insulted Eponine, saying that there was no place in his life for people who disrespected his friend. Eponine never needed him to defend her but it was nice to have a friend who stood up for you, and she was, for the first time in her life, truly happy.

It was only the matter of time when she started to pay more attention to the tiniest details about him, from the spark in his eyes when he told her about his interests, the giggle he made when he told her a joke (yes, Marius was the kind of person who laughed at his own joke, which Eponine did not get most of the time) and the encouraging smile he gave her when she was feeling down. Then there's that fluttering sensation in her stomach when he hugged her and that incessant fear of losing him. Most of all, there's this constant ache in her heart when she was not around him. See, she was not really a person who got attached that easily but it was different with Marius. She loved him.

She tried to deny it but she could not. Eponine Thenardier was in love with her own best friend, Marius Pontmercy. Well, fuck.

…

Eponine chuckled remembering her old feelings for Marius. He was her first love. He made her feel happy, loved and cherished. Although he did not return her feelings, there was still nothing that Eponine cherished more than her friendship with Marius. She did not know what she would do without him, just like he was always lost without her. There was no friend like Marius. He was special.

Then, Eponine clicked on the next picture. It was a picture of her with the Amis. She was sitting between Enjolras and Combeferre. Next to Combeferre were Courfeyrac, Jehan, Bahorel and Grantaire while sitting beside Enjolras were Marius, Feuilly, Joly and Bossuet. She giggled seeing how young and innocent they looked. She almost lost herself because she was laughing too hard seeing the moustache that Grantaire used to have until Jehan finally told him to shave it off because it aged him, and made him look like some creepy porn star.

She remembered this picture really well. This was taken the first time Marius brought her to meet the famous Amis.

…

It was their first year in college. Marius and Eponine got into the same university, except now Marius was majoring in business while Eponine was in journalism. Now that she was in journalism, she should get used to being around people but she was still utterly uncomfortable. Having only one friend throughout high school did your social skills no good. Eponine was in her comfort zone and did not want to get out of it. Even Marius had taken notice of her discomfort because when she was not with him, she was either at the library or outside his class, reading while she waited for him. Marius could not let this go on. He knew that Eponine was actually feeling lonely so he took the matters to find her new friends very seriously. And what was the better way to start other than by introducing her to his friends?

"Come on, Eponine. They're really cool people!" Marius almost had to drag Eponine to the bar where his friends usually gather after class. Eponine whined, trying to free herself from Marius' grasp.

"Listen here, Pontmercy. I don't do well with 'cool people'. People generally don't like me. You don't have to do this!"

"That is because they never try to see the incredible person you really are," Marius stopped and put his arm around her shoulders, "And although I am not that keen of sharing you, I think you would want to befriend other people other than silly, boring me."

Eponine scoffed, "I don't find you boring."

"Oh, I am boring, alright. Come on, please. Do this for me?" Marius begged, making that puppy face, the one he always made when he did not want Eponine to say no to his requests. Eponine then weakly nodded and let Marius led her to the bar.

The bar was not crowded but there were still quite a lot of people. It was not Eponine's scene. She felt Marius' grip on her hand tightened and she knew that he was not going to let her out of this. So she took a deep breath, preparing herself for what's coming.

He first approached two young men at the booth who seemed to be in a heated discussion. They stopped talking when they saw Marius coming their way. They waved at Marius and watched Eponine curiously, making her uncomfortable.

"Hey Marius. Is this your girlfriend?" one of them asked. Eponine snorted, earning a glare from Marius. The two seemed to be quite amused seeing Eponine dismissing their false guess.

"Come on man, she's too pretty to be his girlfriend." The other answered and Eponine smiled at that compliment. Marius however, looked quite offended but decided to shrug it off.

"Guys, I want you to meet my friend. Eponine, this is Joly and Bossuet. Guys, this is Eponine Thenardier."

Joly and Bossuet gave her a welcoming smile and invited her to join them at the booth. Eponine was about to join them when Marius suddenly said, "We'll join you later. I need to introduce her to the others. Where are they, by the way?"

"They're at the bar, I guess. We told them get us drinks but wow, it's been twenty minutes and they're still not here. I guess there's a new hot bartender." Bossuet said.

"Oh great. Alright, let's go, Ep." Marius suddenly pulled her away from Joly and Bossuet. She gave them a weak smile and waved. They grinned, and Eponine knew that they're going to get along just fine.

"They look like they're best friends," Eponine started. Marius still held her hand, not letting her go.

"Oh, they are. They went literally everywhere together. They share the same flat, they go to breakfast together and they always arrive together. Probably because they share a lot of things in common. They're best friends, like us, only we're not yet as close as they are," Marius said, and she felt his grip on her tightened as they made their way through the dance floor.

They got to the bar, when Eponine was introduced to Grantaire, Jehan, Feuilly and Bahorel. Jehan offered to buy her a drink, which she gladly accepted. They chatted and Eponine did not even realize that Marius left her to go to the dance floor. Eponine found it quite fascinating how she could get along really well with them as it usually took quite a time for her to trust anyone. Perhaps it was because Grantaire was funny and Jehan was incredibly kind. Feuilly and Bahorel were brilliant and Eponine was just about to join their conversation when Marius patted her back.

She turned around and saw a very attractive man beside Marius. He smiled at her, showing his cute dimples. He had curly dark brown hair and a pair of beautiful chocolate eyes.

"Hey there, beautiful. How are you doing?" He flirted. Eponine blinked, not knowing what to do because no one had ever flirted with her before. She turned to Marius, who was glaring at Courfeyrac, looking like he was ready to beat him to pulp. Grantaire snorted in his drinks, followed by the sound of him groaning in pain because Jehan punched his arm, telling him that it was not funny.

"Are you for real? No, Courfeyrac. You are not allowed to hit on my friend!" Marius exclaimed exasperatedly. Courfeyrac looked really annoyed that Marius blocked his move.

"B-but Marius," he whined. If Marius was trying to tell him to give up the chase for Eponine, he was doing it all wrong. The more he forbids him, the more he wanted her. Courfeyrac then turned his gaze to Eponine and saw her eyeing Marius with that kind of look which he knew very well. She was in love with Marius, and this dickhead did not see that. Courfeyrac scoffed and was about to open his mouth to say that he was not going to try to sleep with Eponine when…

"No! She is off limits!" Marius said sternly and moved to stand between Eponine and Courfeyrac. Eponine shook her head and pushed Marius aside.

"Marius, I can take care of myself. Nice to meet you, Courfeyrac. I'm Eponine." She extended her hand to Courfeyrac and he shook it. He studied her for a while, and then gave her his most charming smile.

"I think we're going to get along just fine, Eponine." He winked, causing her to blush. She nodded and let go of his hand.

Courfeyrac offered to buy her a drink, ignoring Marius' protests. Eponine did not know why he was so worried. She was never going to hook up with his friend, no matter how attractive Courfeyrac was. No. They were here because he wanted her to meet his friends and perhaps hoped that she would befriend them too. She liked all of them so far but she could not imagine dating any of them.

"Hi Enjolras!" she heard Marius called and she groaned. Seriously, how many more of his friends did she have to meet today?

"Hello Combeferre!" Marius called again. Well, she hoped that this was the last. She turned to meet his other two friends. The two young men just got into the bar, probably because they had just finished class, judging by their clothing. They're tall and lean, and the taller of those two stepped forward and shook Marius' hand. His gaze fell on Eponine and Marius seemed to have taken notice.

"Eponine, this is Combeferre. Ferre, this is my friend, Eponine." He introduced her to Combeferre, who looked simply charming with his spectacles and dimpled smile. Eponine beamed, causing the man to turn red as he shook her hand.

"N-nice to meet you, Eponine," he stuttered. He then shot an angry look at Grantaire who snorted and again, earned a glare from Jehan.

If this was Combeferre, the other one must be Enjolras. She turned and found Enjolras leaning against the counter, watching her intently, studying her. Eponine remembered Marius telling her that Enjolras was like the leader of their group and now she knew why. Compared to the other boys who looked carefree and joyful, Enjolras looked stern and disciplined, radiating the unmistakable leadership vibe, intimidating and attracting Eponine at the same time. Nevertheless, he was very, very handsome. His striking blue eyes and jaw so sharp that it seemed to be able to cut glass were the first things that Eponine noticed when she first laid eyes on him. Her eyes met his gaze and she could not help but to feel her heart beating rapidly against her chest.

"And this is Enjolras."

"Hi," Eponine cracked a little smile as she shook his hand.

"Hi." He uttered and winced when he heard how hoarse his voice sounded. He then nodded at Eponine as he let go of her hand and turned to the bartender, ordering a bottle of beer. Eponine heard Grantaire chuckle and murmured,

"Oh boy, things are going to get really interesting."

Eponine did not understand what he was implying.

…

Eponine smiled fondly looking at the picture. Even after all this time, Eponine wondered how she got from being a complete loner (who only had one friend) to having a group of friends who were not only funny with but also incredibly understanding and supportive. She was deeply grateful to have the Amis in her life for she knew that there would be no one who could ever replace them. They made her forget about her terrible past, for they're convinced that it was important to keep looking forward. In fact, she thought that she would not be where she was right now without their encouragement and support. She really loved her friends and she would trust them with her life. It had been years since they all got together and she really, really missed them.

She held back the tears in her eyes that threatened to fall as she clicked on the next picture. It was a picture of her and Cosette. She had her arms around the blonde as she smiled to the camera. Cosette was also beaming and she looked radiant. It was funny how much Eponine loved Cosette now while back then, she used to not stand her, mostly because she was jealous of her and Marius. But then, it was only for a brief moment. It was impossible to hate Cosette.

Cosette was optimistic and kind, and her positive outlook on life was infectious. She was the source of love and hope for the group just like she was for Marius. They always look for her when they needed advice and could always depend on her to keep their secrets. Cosette never failed to cheer everyone up when they were feeling down. She also made the best chocolate chip cookies. Other than that, she was always so protective of them, like she was their mother. Eponine still wondered how someone petite like Cosette could cause physical damage to anyone who tried to hurt any of them. Perhaps it was from the karate that she learned when she was a child.

Nevertheless, Cosette was an amazing woman and Marius was lucky to have her. Eponine could not think of anyone more deserving of each other than Marius and Cosette. They were like match made in heaven.

If back then someone asked her whether she would love Cosette as much as she did now, she would laugh. She remembered how unhappy she was when she first found out about her.

…

It was two years after she first met the Amis. It was the most wonderful two years of Eponine's life. Right now, she was walking towards the apartment that Grantaire shared with Combeferre and Enjolras. It was Friday, and the Amis would gather at their apartment to watch movies and just hang out. It's their group's tradition.

Eponine reached the apartment ten minutes later and knocked on the door. There wasn't any answer so Eponine twisted the doorknob and was glad to find that it was unlocked. She strutted into the apartment as if she owned the place and found Grantaire in the living room, completely engrossed watching a show on television. He did not realize that Eponine had entered his house and Eponine was sure that he did not even hear her knocking the door. She smiled fondly seeing Grantaire wearing his favourite green hoodie, the one that she got him last Christmas and his bag was at his side. Eponine knew right away that just like her; he just got back from class.

Eponine took a seat next to him and the couch shifted. Grantaire turned his head from the TV to Eponine, back to the TV and back to Eponine again. His eyes widened in shock.

"Jesus Christ, when and how the hell did you get in?"

"A minute ago, the door is unlocked." Eponine answered absent-mindedly, her eyes on the television.

"Have you heard this very noble act called knocking?" Grantaire asked sarcastically, raising a disbelieving eyebrow.

Eponine gave him a mischievous smile, "Yes but it is cold outside and if I waited for you to open the door, I might freeze to death. You would not want that to happen, would you?"

Grantaire scoffed at her overdramatic statement, "I don't want you to die but next time, knock harder or something. Combeferre, Enjolras or even me might have… well, people over and I want to spare you the trauma." He said jokingly. He pulled her to him and she lay down, resting her head on his lap.

"That is very gallant of you, R, but I have nothing to be worried about. I doubt your nerd roommates are ever going to get a girl home," she laughed but then her smiled faded when she saw Grantaire glaring at her. She sighed, "Alright, I am sorry. I won't do it again. I would wait outside and knock until you open the door. I might freeze to death but it didn't matter because I would die waiting for you."

Grantaire laughed. He could not stay mad at her no matter how much he tried. That's the amazing thing about Eponine. She could annoy you until you feel like tearing your hair out but then she made it up by being so charming that you could not help but to form a smile on your face.

Grantaire played with her auburn hair as he watched the show and Eponine closed her eyes blissfully. She did not like it when people play with her hair but Grantaire was an exception. It was probably because he was her best friend or probably because he had magic hands but either way, Eponine did not mind him with her hair. The two best friends fell into a comfortable silence and no sound was heard except from the television.

However, their silence did not last long. They heard someone opened the door and Eponine turned to see who it was. It was Combeferre and he brought dinner. He saw her peeking from the couch and beamed.

"Ferre! You brought dinner. Thank you, you beautiful, beautiful man. I am starving!" she jumped out of the couch and then winced from pain because Grantaire's fingers were still tangled in her hair. She swatted his hands away and ran towards Combeferre. She quickly snatched the plastic bags from his hands and brought them to the dining table.

"I think we should wait until everyone's here, Ep."

Eponine turned to Combeferre and pouted her lips. It took everything Combeferre got to not give up and let her have her food.

"Don't do that. You know I cannot say no when you do that." Combeferre murmured shyly. Eponine smiled wickedly.

"I know. That is exactly why I did it," She purred seductively, running her hand along his biceps, amused seeing how Combeferre face turned into a lovely shade of red. Their eyes locked and Combeferre took her hand in his. The doorbell suddenly rang.

"Never mind, keep flirting. I'll get the door." Grantaire said sarcastically as he rose from the couch. Combeferre turned even redder. Grantaire opened the door and moved aside to let his friends in. Joly, Bahorel, Feuilly and Bossuet, as usual, went straight to living room while Jehan, Enjolras and Courfeyrac joined them at the kitchen to help out. Eponine looked around and realized that someone was missing.

"Where's Marius?"

She noticed that Jehan and Courfeyrac froze, suddenly busy with the cutleries. Enjolras rolled his eyes, and said, "He'll be here."

Marius did not come even after they all had finished their dinner. Eponine started to get really impatient and worried. Enjolras saw her fidgeting in her seat and assured her that Marius was okay. Eponine glared at him. How did he know?

Then, they heard the door opened and Marius came into the kitchen. He looked dazed and his mind seemed to be anywhere else but here.

"You're okay, Marius? You looked like you have seen a ghost." Joly asked, concerned. Marius simply shook his head and declined when Grantaire offered him wine. He was quiet. He did not even realize that his friends were concerned about him. Eponine observed him. She was his friend for years and she knew that he would only act the way he's acting now for only three reasons only. First, if he actually saw a ghost but that was unlikely. Two, if he found out devastating news about his family. Three…. Oh God, no, please, anything but reason number three.

"I think… I think I am in love." Marius finally confessed, proving Eponine right. She felt like her heart had dropped to the floor, shattered into millions of tiny pieces. She sucked in breath as she tried to hold back tears which stubbornly streamed down her face. The Amis was looking at her sympathetically and they did not even hear Marius talking about the girl of his dreams. Eponine did not like it when they feel sorry for her as it made her feel week and she could not stand being in the same room with all of them right now. So she stood up and made her way out of the apartment. She heard Enjolras muttered, "That was a dick move, Pontmercy." followed by the sounds of agreement from the Amis. It was supposed to make her feel better knowing that the Amis got her back but actually, it made her feel smaller than ever. It was like she was so fragile that she needed a group of boys to defend her.

She slammed the door and quickly descended down the stairs. Eponine heard footsteps following her from behind and knew that it was Enjolras.

"Leave me alone, Enjolras."

"Eponine…"

"No, don't!" she exclaimed as she started to run down the street, trying to get away from him. He did not give up the chase and within seconds, he got to her. Eponine, who just got her heart broken, did not have the energy to tell him to fuck off and leave her alone. So, when he pulled her into his embrace, she buried her face in his chest and started to cry her eyes out. She heard him saying things like 'he's not worth this' and 'everything is going to be okay' and 'hush, it's okay, I'm here' as she sobbed like a baby in his arms. Surprisingly, his voice soothed her and she was comforted.

…

Eponine frowned. How exactly did the thought of Enjolras get into her mind again?

Eponine remembered that back in college, she did not get along quite well with Enjolras. She did not know why but both of them used to not be able to go three words without contradicting each other. Whenever they were in the same room, even the smallest disagreement could lead to a heated debate that would last for days. Nevertheless, he pushed her to be better. When he was around, she was always the best version of herself and it felt good. In a way, she loved arguing with him. She took immense pleasure when she managed to prove him wrong and she learned something if he proved her wrong. It's a win-win situation anyway.

Because of their constant bickering, she always thought that he actually hated her guts. It was until that night when Marius told them about Cosette that she found out that he actually cared about her. It was actually so sweet of him. She could not help but to smile.

She clicked on the next picture and felt her smile slowly faded. It was a picture of her and Enjolras. The picture was taken when they told the Amis that they're officially dating. Enjolras had his arms around her waist and she was kissing his cheeks. She could see that Enjolras was blushing because he was not used to public display of affection but he agreed to that one picture. They looked so happy and Eponine remembered how she first found out about his feelings for her.

…

Eponine just had lunch with Cosette and now she was on her way to Grantaire's apartment because she promised to look at the art that he made for his assignment. Cosette offered to drop her off but she declined, saying that she preferred walking.

Cosette and Marius had been in a relationship for a year. She supposed she should get over her bitterness by now but it was hard. It was not like she still had feelings for Marius anymore but she still felt that pang in her heart when Marius would always choose to be with Cosette than hanging out with her and the Amis. This attitude from him did not help in making her like his girlfriend at all.

It was raining and Eponine was soaking wet by the time she arrived at Grantaire's apartment. She knocked hard on the door, hugging her body as she tried to warm herself. It took only minutes for the door to fly open and standing before her was Enjolras. He looked surprised to see her, probably because he thought she still had class. Nevertheless, he moved aside and let her in.

She stepped inside and quickly peeled off her coat. She hung it on the coat hanger and made her way to the living room, warming herself by the fireplace.

When she felt like she had warmed herself enough, she sat on the couch and sent Grantaire a text, telling him that she was already at his place. Enjolras came into the living room and wordlessly, handed her a cup of hot chocolate.

"Thanks," she uttered.

"You're welcome." He replied as he sat next to her. He then took the book that was on the table and started to read. Eponine stared at him as he read, smiling because he had never looked more attractive. She loved seeing him wearing reading glasses. Eponine felt like she could watch him forever.

"Is there something that you want to talk about, Eponine?"

"What? No." she retorted quickly.

"Then stop staring. I cannot focus if you're looking at me while I'm reading." He cracked a little smile and looked her way.

Eponine blushed, despite herself. She did not know why Enjolras had that effect on her nowadays. Perhaps it was because she finally saw him as more than her friend to argue with. Perhaps she finally saw how he was always with her when she needed him. After Marius told them about Cosette, Enjolras was the one who stood up for her. She had never seen him that pissed off at any of his friends (which meant something because Eponine used to really get to his nerves the first few months of their friendship). He would go all lengths to hurt anyone who had hurt her. She would never forget how he got into a fight with Montparnasse when she reluctantly told him that he cheated on her. Most of all, she loved that despite their differences, he still loved and cherished her for who she really was.

"I had lunch with Cosette today," she told him.

"Oh? How did that go?"

"It was bearable. I guess this whole Marius thing still hurts," Eponine admitted. She saw Enjolras' grip on the book tightened and he took a deep breath before asking the next question.

"Still? Ep, it had been a year."

"You have never been in love before, Enjolras. You don't know."

His eyes were still on his book but Eponine could tell that he was not really reading.

"What makes you think that I have never been in love before?"

"You don't seem like someone who had. Have you?" she asked. She could not help to feel a little jealous at anyone who ever managed to get to Enjolras' heart. She did not understand why she would feel jealous but she did not want to think about that now.

Enjolras turned to look at her and smiled weakly, "I have. And it sucks. She was too caught up with her own feelings for this other guy who never appreciated her. It hurt seeing her like that but I could not do anything. I tried though."

"Well she is dumb. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I should know. You've been nothing but a great friend to me and I am sure that one day, you'll make some girl really, really happy," she murmured. She could not help the tone of bitterness in her last sentence. It hurt saying it. She tried to shrug the feeling of by leaning on Enjolras' shoulder. Enjolras then put down his book and snaked his arm around her, pulling her into a warm embrace. He smelled of books and coffee, and she loved that.

"I doubt that but thanks" he whispered.

"You know what sucks the most? It's that I have never seen Marius this happy and I have been his friend for years, Enjolras. I would do anything to make him smile like when he's with Cosette but I failed. I feel like I am never enough for anyone. I feel like one day, all of you will find someone better and I will be left alone. I don't want to be alone anymore. I have lost Marius, whom I have known since high school and I feel like it's the matter of time before I lose all of you too. I know it's irrational and stupid but I- I can't help it," Eponine started to rant, tears streaming down her cheeks as she confided Enjolras her biggest fear. Suddenly, she felt Enjolras pulling away from her. She whimpered at the loss of contact and looked at him questioningly.

"Stop. Just stop that. Stop thinking that you're not enough. Eponine, you are the most stubborn, the most hot-headed and the most infuriating person I have ever encountered in my life but you are also the strongest, the most incredible and the most beautiful woman I know. I for one, feel lucky that you are in my life. Fuck Pontmercy if he doesn't know how to appreciate you. I want you to never, ever say that I am going to leave you because I won't. You came into my life and I know you're going to stay. Just like I know I am going to stay in yours. So please, stop thinking that we're going to leave you because we won't. I know I won't."

Eponine felt her heart soar as she listened to Enjolras' words. She was moved but at the same time a little bit alarmed seeing how intimate this conversation was becoming. However, she could not stop herself from asking the next question.

"You really think that I am beautiful?"

Enjolras seemed to be caught off-guard by her question. She knew that he was thinking his way out of it but then gave up.

With a defeated sigh, he finally admitted, "You are so beautiful, it hurts me sometimes."

Eponine could not help but to blush. Enjolras looked amused to see her turn red so he chortled and pulled her into his embrace. Eponine tried to enlighten the mood and uttered, "Thank you, Enjolras. That is very kind of you."

Enjolras was quiet and she turned to face him. She found him gazing at her and he had never, ever looked more attractive. She had never seen him this close, really. His skin was flawless, and of course that cheek crinkles that he had was always so adorable. As if by instinct, she felt herself moving closer to him until their foreheads touched. They were so close now. She could feel his hot breath on her and she shivered with anticipation. She really, really wanted to kiss him and she wished that he would just move already.

As if he read her mind, he leaned forward and kissed her. His kiss was slow but sensuous. She felt a rush of warm feeling filling her body and she felt… alive. Impatient as she was, she tilted her head, deepening her kiss, showing him that he did not have to be nervous because she wanted this as much as he did. She heard him moan against her lips and could not help but to feel proud that she had this much effect on him. She felt his hand travelling up her thigh and stopped at her waist. A whimper escaped her lips when he pulled her closer, pushing their bodies together until there was no gap between them. Their kiss gradually intensified, making her clung to him like her was the only steady thing in this dizzy, swaying world. He made her forget about everything else, like there was nothing else in this world but them. It felt good, it felt right and Eponine did not want him to stop.

Suddenly, they heard the door opened and they heard Grantaire said, "Hey Enjolras, have you seen… oh my God!" before quickly pulled apart. Both of them were breathing harshly and Eponine stole a glance at Enjolras who was looking at her, lips swollen and face red.

"Were you guys making out?!" Grantaire exclaimed. Eponine quickly rose from the couch and made her way out of the apartment while Enjolras quickly went to his bedroom. None of them wanted to talk about this right now as they were so confused about what just happened, so they left Grantaire alone in the living room, shocked and puzzled.

…

Eponine had not heard anything from Enjolras after that. It had been a week. Grantaire, being a great friend he was, told her that he would not say anything about what he saw until both Eponine and Enjolras figured what that was all about. He also told her that ever since that incident happened, Enjolras spent most of his time locked in his room, refusing to talk to anybody, not even Combeferre.

Eponine ran her fingers through her hair. She felt so damn confused. It had been a week of utter silence and it's getting tiring. It hurt thinking that Enjolras might think that their kiss meant nothing for him. It meant something for her. She had never felt so alive, so connected with anyone. She felt close to him and she realized that she fucking liked him. She supposed she had liked him for a while now but she never realized it. Both of them were too busy debating and arguing every time they met. There was no time to even think about their feelings for one another, Eponine thought.

Eponine turned her head to the door of the café and she was surprised to see Enjolras' there. She quickly hid her face behind the newspaper she bought, and glad that he did not see her there. She peeped to see him and frowned when she saw him with another girl. They looked like they were catching up on something but then she saw Enjolras laughed. The girl patted his arm and hugged him.

Eponine felt like she could burst right that moment. Who the hell was that woman? Why was he with her? Who the hell gave her the right to touch her Enjolras?

"Your Enjolras? One kiss and suddenly he's your Enjolras?" she said to herself.

Nevertheless, when the girl kissed him on the cheeks before she went away, Eponine felt like she could attack her right that moment. As if it were, she needed to be cool. That might be his girlfriend.

Perhaps their kiss really did mean nothing to Enjolras. Perhaps nothing could ever happen between them. She should learn to accept that.

…

She could not be cool. Right now she was seething with anger and jealousy. She felt betrayed.

She banged the door to Enjolras' apartment and she heard him move inside. He opened the door and his eyes widened in shock to see her. She realized that she might look like a mad woman right now, with her hair messy and eyes blazing with fire, but she could not care less.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" she yelled as she got into the apartment. Enjolras stepped backwards, clearly intimidated by her. He had never seen her life this and he flinched when Eponine slammed the door with a force that he never thought someone her size possessed.

"What the hell is wrong with me?! You are the one who came to my apartment, screaming like a mad woman. What the hell is wrong with you?!" Enjolras bellowed.

"You! It's you! You kissed me and then you completely ignored me. Then today, oh guess what? I saw you with another woman?! Who is that bitch, Enjolras? You know what, no, I don't want to know," she stopped. She took a deep breath before she continued, "Fuck, Enjolras. You cannot play with anyone's feeling like that. I thought we're friends! How could you do that to me?"

Enjolras blinked. He seemed to not understand what she was talking about. Nor what she was so mad about. He had never seen Eponine this mad and that's saying something because he always got to her nerves.

"What…? What are you…? Oh!" he finally got it. He chuckled and Eponine glared at him. Was he laughing at her? What. An. Asshole.

God, she could not believe his guts. She could not believe that he was laughing at her right now.

"You are a complete bastard!" she exclaimed dramatically. Tears threatened to fall but she held back. No, she was not going to give him the satisfaction of making her cry. She made her way to the door, to get out of his face and never see him again but he grabbed hold of her arm so she stopped in her tracks. She swatted his hand away, and huffed. She walked away from him, keeping her distance.

"Ep, that 'bitch', was my cousin. She was in town and she wanted to see me. Are you really jealous because of that?"

If there was any time when Eponine wanted to dig herself a hole and bury herself in it, this was the exact time. She felt her face grew hot as she had never felt this ashamed of herself. She looked left and right, as if hoping that there was an escape. Enjolras was making his way towards her now and she felt like her brain had short-circuited. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to think of something witty to say to save her dignity but no words escaped her. So she kept it shut.

Enjolras was standing right in front of her right now and she felt her heart beating fast in her chest. She could not think, she could not move and she was paralyzed. She looked down, her eyes on the floor but Enjolras cupped her chin and turned her face to look at him. His striking blue eyes were looking straight into hers, reading to depths of her soul. She felt vulnerable yet she did not care because it's Enjolras.

His eyes however, while they used to always look calm and emotionless, now looked unsure. However, as he stared into her eyes, his uncertainty was replaced by a smug look on his face, which Eponine was tempted to kiss off.

"You like me, don't you?"

Eponine could not help but to let out a laugh. She punched his arm playfully, but it was strong enough to cause him to wince.

"Nice deduction, Sherlock." She smirked. Enjolras snorted but there was still a questioning look in his eyes, as if he thought that she was kidding.

"I waltzed in here looking like a mad woman, crazy jealous because I thought your cousin was your girlfriend. And if you doubt my feelings for you, then God help me, I might have to ruin your pretty face by punching you."

Enjolras beamed, making him look so much younger, "You are scary when you're mad. And that was a pretty good punch. You're dangerous, Eponine Thenardier."

Eponine scoffed at his statement, "I am not dangerous, Enjolras."

"You are to me."

His voice hoarse and the next thing she knew, he pulled her closer to him, bringing their bodies together and their lips sealed in a kiss. She closed her eyes, moaning blissfully as she felt sparks flying. His kiss was fierce, desperate, and animalistic. It burned her like fire but instead of turning to ash, she felt like a Phoenix being born again. For the first time since forever, she felt alive. So damn alive. So she kissed him back, just as hungry as he was. Her arms snaked around his neck and she pulled him to her, deepening the kiss. All years of pent up frustrations and anger, they're finally together. Finally.

…

"Eponine? Are you okay?" her colleague, Sara, called, bringing Eponine out of her reverie. Eponine looked up and saw her. She was staring incredulously at her and she looked really concerned. How long had she been calling her? How long had she spaced out?

"Yes Sara, I'm okay. Is there something wrong?"

"There's a gentleman outside. He said he wanted to see you. I would just let come in but I have never seen him before." She murmured. Sara had always been a little paranoid.

But who would want to see her at this time? She turned to the door and saw Enjolras leaning against it. He smiled, making her heart melt. She introduced Sara to Enjolras and had to hold back a laugh when Sara kept gaping at him, mesmerized by his good looks. However, she could not help to snort when she found Enjolras fidgeting uncomfortably when she kept looking at him. His eyes pleaded her to do something.

"Alright Sara, goodbye." She uttered, pushing Sara (with a little difficulty) out the door.

"Hi." She said to Enjolras, closing the door behind her.

"Hi."

"Is there… is there something that I can help you with?" she asked, wondering why Enjolras would come all the way to her office to see her.

"No, I'm just wondering whether you would like to have lunch with me? I just feel like I haven't talked to you since we last… talked and I figured that maybe… you would want to have lunch with me…" he finished lamely. He mentally kicked himself for saying such lame things. What happened to the ever eloquent Enjolras?

Eponine knew that going to lunch with him could be quite a problem, especially when she had just been reminiscing their old memories. Old feelings started to take over but she could not stop herself to smile and accept his invitation.

"Sure, I'd love to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to keep the next chapter shorter and with plot development. I hope you won't give up on me!
> 
> Oh, and another thing, I am sorry if I don't write a lot about the other Amis. I have just started reading the book and I am yet to reach the Friends of ABC part. So, if you have any advice on how the Amis really is, or how some characters should be written, I would love to hear them. Or if you have any suggestions to make this story better, you can tell me. I would love to hear your views.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading!


	8. The One with Unrequited Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this chapter.

He loved her with morbid intensity. He did not really know why. Perhaps it was because of her witty remarks that he enjoyed so much. Perhaps it was because of her fiery temper which he loved to try to cool down. Perhaps it was because she was one of his best friends who truly understood him. Perhaps it was because of her radiance that took him by surprise when he first laid eyes on her. He knew that she would be trouble for him but he was still attracted to her like a moth to a flame. He realized that he was going to get burnt but he went anyway. He fell in love with her, so deeply and hopelessly, and no matter how many times he tried to get her out of his mind, the thought of her stayed, just as stubborn as she was.

When she moved to another country without telling him, he was hurt. He hated knowing that he did not mean as much to Eponine as she was to him. Yet, he did not hate her. Even after all these years, he still loved her. His love for her burned yet it also soothed him. His love for her was strong that it crushed him. But all that did not stop him from falling deeper in love with her every single day. He knew that even though he had to go through his life never telling her how he felt, never kissing her, never calling her his, he would not think that loving her was a waste of time.

People would think that love as genuine and strong as the love that Combeferre had for Eponine would finally be rewarded in the end, which she would finally see him and loved him back but the bitter truth was some things were just not meant to be.

Combeferre took a sip of his tea and cringed. God, he hated tea. He preferred coffee. No, he liked coffee so much that he drank it when he's stressed, when he's unhappy, when he's trying to figure things out, when he's struggling with work, when he's thinking, when he's feeling like a mess and well, he drank coffee almost all the time. He was addicted to it and he knew that this was very unhealthy. Especially now that Eponine's back, he spent most of his time helping her sort things out at her apartment. His feelings for her were stronger than ever and that caused him to drink dangerously high amount of coffee. Now at nights, he could not sleep, because of both caffeine and her.

He supposed that he should get over her by now. And he thought he did. After two years not seeing her, he thought he was finally over her. The year after that, he did not think about her at all. Yet when he saw her at Musain with Marius, Cosette and Grantaire last week, the feelings came back. His feelings for her came back while they're supposed to be gone, disappear, vanished.

Truthfully, he was quite pissed at himself for still loving her. She went away without telling him even though they're friends and he spent 3 years of hell trying to forget about her. What's worse was he had to help his own best friend trying to get over the love of his life. Yet, there she was at Musain, looking as beautiful as ever, a smile plastered on her face, making his heart flutter while he's trying to recover from the mind-numbing shock. He was glad that she's back but at the same time he was not excited about the hell he was going to put himself through as he fell in love with her again when she fell asleep on his shoulder that night. She was beautiful, even when she's asleep and it took everything he got to appear nonchalant, to hide the look of love in his eyes when he noticed Courfeyrac's suspicion.

Combeferre sighed as he took another sip of his tea. He cringed again, finally accepting the fact that he was not going to like tea at all. Fuck this, he needed his caffeine.

He was calling the waitress to order himself a cup of really, really black coffee when Courfeyrac came into the café. He was not alone though. Next to him was Evangeline Hunter, a pretty brunette whom Combeferre recognized as Cosette's colleague at her school. Cosette introduced Evangeline to their group about two months ago and she had been joining their group activities ever since. Combeferre figured that after Eponine had left, Cosette must have another girl friend to spend her time with. He could not imagine Cosette spending all her time with Grantaire, no matter how close those two were. He could not imagine Grantaire handling Cosette all day either. Eponine really was the glue to the trio, Combeferre thought.

Evangeline Hunter, who preferred to be called Eva, was a lot like Cosette. She radiated this sweet, demure and innocent vibe, which made some people think that they could step all over her. However, when dealing with people who got to her nerves, she was feisty and her words cut deep. Combeferre was pretty sure that Eva made a guy who tried to hit on her at Musain the other day cry, because of both sprained arm and her vicious words. None of them was quite sure about what happened but they figured that the guy was a total jackass so he deserved everything he got. Anyway, what's important was, they all learned that no one should mess with the young, adorable yet terribly dangerous Evangeline Hunter.

If only someone would tell that to Courfeyrac. Ever since Cosette introduced her to them, Courfeyrac and Eva had become inseparable. Combeferre knew that he was trying to get into her pants and he had seen Eva rejected Courfeyrac quite a number of times. However, what baffled him was Courfeyrac seemed relentless in getting to her. He wondered why. While he thought that Eva was really good-looking, she did not strike him as Courfeyrac's type. She was sweet yet mysterious, while Courfeyrac was used to women who wore their hearts on their sleeves. She wanted commitment while Courfeyrac was always about one night stands. She was sophisticated and intelligent and she made it clear to Courfeyrac that she only saw him as a friend. She was not one of those bimbos whom he could sleep with and never call back. Combeferre remembered Courfeyrac saying that he was okay with being friends but judging by his actions now, he knew that he had other tricks up his sleeves and he was not going to let Eva go easily. Seriously, what was up with Courfeyrac?

"Combeferre, hi! How are you? " Eva greeted at she reached his table. Combeferre looked up and smiled at her. His best friend followed Eva from behind and simply waved at him, his eyes looking around the restaurant for an empty table.

"I am doing well, thanks for asking." Combeferre replied, "I did not expect to see both of you here," he added. Eva grinned and turned to Courfeyrac.

"Courf and I always have our lunch here. This is my favourite restaurant. But it's a full house today, so we're going to have to go somewhere else. Where do you want to go, Courf?"

"I don't mind. Wherever you want, babe," Courfeyrac said dismissively, still glancing around the restaurant, hoping that he would find an empty table.

Combeferre raised a disbelieving eyebrow. Courfeyrac was the one man he knew who could be so fussy when it came to restaurants. He never let anyone choose the restaurant when he's with them. Courfeyrac loved restaurants so he knew every restaurant and cafe in town, which one to go for which occasion. Combeferre had never met anyone as picky as Courfeyrac but he was not going to complain. All of them trusted him in this, just like they trusted him when he became their wingman at bars, flirting with women. Courfeyrac knew his stuff and he never let anyone interfere with what he did best. However, now, he's letting Eva choose the restaurant she wanted to go. He had never done that with his friends whom he had known since college, not even with some of his girlfriends whom he dated for several months. Brushing away the feeling of indignity, Combeferre smirked and figured that he should mess with Courfeyrac a little bit.

"Why don't you join me?" he asked suddenly, "I am alone anyway. I don't mind some company. So what do you say?"

Eva's face lighted up. She tugged Courfeyrac's arm, telling him that they should join Combeferre for lunch. Courfeyrac managed to fake a smile but when Eva's not looking, he gave Combeferre one of his death glares and mouthed, "You cannot see me happy, can you?"

He took a seat next to Eva and went through the menu in silence while Eva chatted with Combeferre about her work at school. She told him about how sweet Courfeyrac was, how amazing he was with her students when he visited her at school. She had never been this happy and she was glad to have Courfeyrac as a friend. Combeferre had to suppress his laughter as he saw his friend's face turned to lovely shade of red.

Courfeyrac realized that Combeferre was smirking at him so he quickly called the waitress to place his and Eva's orders. The waitress seemed to be interested in him, judging by how she batted her eyelashes and flashed him her sweetest smile. However, much to Combeferre's surprise, Courfeyrac seemed to be oblivious about her attempts and dismissed her right after he ordered his food. Nonetheless, although Courfeyrac seemed to be unaware of the flirty waitress' advances, Eva was quite the opposite. She noticed that the waitress was trying to get Courfeyrac's attention and she seemed to be very bothered by it. Her cheery expression turned grave and Combeferre noticed that she clenched her fists as she took a deep, shaky breath.

After the waitress had gone, she quickly rose from her seat and uttered shortly, "I need to freshen up. I'll be right back."

"We'll be here." Courfeyrac said.

After Eva was gone, he turned to Combeferre.

"Oh come on man, why do you have to interfere with our lunch date? It's not cool!" he exclaimed, slamming his hand on the table. The old couple next to their table turned and scowled at Courfeyrac, who ignored them.

"Keep your voice down, Courf," he replied. "And… lunch date? You're dating Eva? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Dating? Who says anything about dating?"

"You just said lunch date…"

"… and you infer that as dating?" Courfeyrac scoffed. "No. Come on man, I had a really shitty day today and having lunch with her, talking to her, ALONE, always makes me feel a little bit better. Please, I'm begging you. Please leave us alone. Please, Combeferre, please." He pleaded desperately.

Combeferre had never seen him like this and that's when it occurred to him. His best friend was in love. Oh God, his best friend was in love, finally. Combeferre was really excited, so he did the first thing that every best friend did when they found out that their friend who was once a tom cat, was now a lovesick puppy.

He laughed hysterically.

… And he did not stop for the full five minutes. Courfeyrac looked really affronted that Combeferre did not take him seriously so he simply frowned and crossed his arms. He glared at Combeferre, waiting for him to finish laughing and when he finally did, Courfeyrac shook his head in disbelief, refusing to talk to him.

"Alright, I'm sorry. It's just… I have never seen you so smitten like this. You're in love with her, aren't you Courf?" Combeferre asked, grinning widely. Courfeyrac however, furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his friend as if he had gone crazy.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"What the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about you and Eva! You love her!"

"No I'm not. You love her." Courfeyrac retorted quickly and childishly. Combeferre's grin grew wider, irritating Courfeyrac even further.

"I am not in love with her, Ferre!" Courfeyrac almost shouted, being in complete denial. "No, don't do this to me! I am not in love with her! I am not! I cannot be!" he continued and he looked really frightened. He had never been in love before and truthfully, the thought of it scared him. He had seen what love did to people. His parents used to be happy, until his father fell in love with another woman and cheated on his mother. If the example from his parents was not enough, he had examples from his own friends. Eponine and Enjolras were in love once and look where it got them. And Marius and Cosette used to have crazy adventures together and look how domestic they had become now after years of dating. Courfeyrac did not want that. He could not be in love.

However, Eva was a great woman, the greatest woman he had ever met. He had never been more comfortable with anyone other than her. She was intelligent and kind, not to mention beautiful. Surely at first he only got close to her because he wanted to sleep with her but after some time, it turned into something more. She became a friend, a good one, the best one. And suddenly, every time he told her that she's beautiful, it wasn't just a compliment to get into her pants, he actually meant it. And suddenly, when he asked her out, he actually wanted to go on a date with her and still want to see her tomorrow. When she's with him, he felt comforted and happy. When she beamed at him, he could feel his heart beat faster. When other men look at her, he could not help but to feel jealous and possessive, as he quickly took her hand in his, refusing to let anyone get to her.

He would be lying if he said that he didn't know what this was.

"Courf, are you okay? You look pale." Combeferre eyed him with concern.

"I don't love her." he stated stubbornly and the finality in his tone was clear. Combeferre sighed. He knew that his friend had commitment issues but it never occurred to him that it was this bad.

"Courf, I know this is frightening for you and I am really sorry that I laughed at you earlier. But the truth is… being in love isn't that bad. Relationship isn't that bad. And Eva is a wonderful person. She makes you happy. So, don't let her go. Just ask her out, properly. Or just tell her how you really feel. Everything is going to be okay." Combeferre said kindly, trying to comfort his friend. However, his effort was not appreciated as Courfeyrac looked up and glared at him, mad.

"You are such a hypocrite for advising me to tell her about how I feel while all this time, you're scared to tell the girl you love about how you feel." Courfeyrac snapped.

Combeferre felt his jaw drop and for once, he was rendered speechless. He blinked, clearing his throat and finally uttered, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. How long have you been in love with Eponine?" Courfeyrac shoot the question that he had been meaning to ask since the night both of them went to Eponine's apartment. He's not an idiot. He had known Combeferre long enough to know that his friend was hiding something. He saw the way Combeferre looked at Eponine that night and he knew that Combeferre had never, ever looked at anyone the way he looked at her. And after that night, he realized that Combeferre had spent a lot of time with Eponine and he was sure that his best friend could hardly focus on his work. Moreover, he always looked distracted nowadays and Combeferre was never the one to get distracted, so this thing about Eponine must be serious. There were quite a few times when he almost missed their meetings but Enjolras simply brushed it off after seeing how tired Combeferre appeared. Even then, no matter how tired he was, Courfeyrac noticed how Combeferre would always dash to meet Eponine when it's time to see her. Courfeyrac was once Marius' roommate, so he knew how people act when they're madly in love and right now, Combeferre was acting the exact way Marius acted when he first fell in love with Cosette.

Combeferre fidgeted uncomfortably under Courfeyrac stare. Courfeyrac furrowed his eyebrows and observed his friend. A rush of worry and sympathy hit him when he saw how tired, solemn and sleep deprived Combeferre had become. Courfeyrac had been his friend for years now and never in his life had he seen him like this. Except… except for when Eponine and Enjolras announced that they're dating. But that was back in college.

"Oh my god, please do not tell me that you've been in love with her since college!" Courfeyrac exclaimed. He could not believe that he only found out about this now. Combeferre kept silent, proving that his guess was right. Combeferre buried his face in his hands and drew a shaky breath. He then looked up and faked a little smile, a smile which Courfeyrac knew hide tons of sadness.

"Ferre, why didn't you tell me?" he asked. His voice soft. He expected his friend to deny everything and he was prepared to refute whatever he had to say. But, his best friend simply shrugged, admitting defeat. He could not carry this secret alone anymore, so he decided to tell Courfeyrac about it.

"What's there to tell? I love her but she doesn't love me back. Never has, never will." Combeferre murmured sadly. His eyes were red and he looked exhausted.

"Ferre, it has been years. How can you… how can you still be in love with her?" Courfeyrac asked, sounding shocked. Seriously, how could anyone be in love that long?

"Well, if you actually allow yourself to admit that you're in love, you will learn that this kind of feeling doesn't go away that easily," Combeferre started, "But it is not a big deal. Really, it's not. So please, please do not tell anyone else." It's Combeferre's turn to plead now.

"But it is a big deal! You're in love with Eponine. Our Eponine. I cannot believe you keep it to yourself all this time! And you're in love with her, even when she's dating Enjolras?!" Courfeyrac said, feeling sorry for his friend.

Silence fell. Both of them suddenly did not know what to say. However, a few moments later, Courfeyrac opened his mouth, as if to say something. His expression was serious. Combeferre prepared himself to hear Courfeyrac getting mad at him for falling in love with their best friend's girlfriend (well, technically ex-girlfriend but he was sure that Enjolras was not going to be happy with this news). He was ready to hear his own best friend telling him what a lousy friend he was and how he was disgusted by him. He was ready for Courfeyrac to tell him that he could not even look at him right now, just like Combeferre sometimes felt like he could not face himself.

"Why don't you ask her out?" Courfeyrac asked and his question caught Combeferre by surprise.

"Are you out of your mind?!" Combeferre exclaimed. However, he realized that people were looking so he lowered his voice and said, "Think before you say anything. This is Eponine we're talking about and Enjolras will kill me if…"

"… If you ask out his ex-girlfriend who broke up with him 3 years ago?"

Combeferre took a deep breath and sighed.

"Courf, nothing is ever that simple. You know how much Enjolras loved Eponine and you know how much she loved him. I cannot compete with that."

"That's because you never tried. Enjolras had his chance, Ferre, and he blew it. It's time for you to have yours! Forget about what Enjolras might think. Go after her!"

"How could you say that? Enjolras is our friend, Courf!" Combeferre uttered. He knew that Courfeyrac meant well but if he asked Eponine out, it would be like betraying Enjolras. He loved Eponine but he wasn't ready to lose his best friend.

"Enjolras is my friend and so are you, Ferre. As a friend, I want to see you happy. Eponine makes you happy. If Enjolras is your true friend, he will be okay with it. And I think he will."

Combeferre took a deep breath as he rubbed his temple. Everything was starting to get out of hand. In a way, Courfeyrac was right. He deserved to be happy and there's only one woman who could make him happy. Besides, he could not keep this to himself anymore. He'd go crazy. Perhaps if he confessed to Eponine about his feelings, maybe he could get some closure and stop wondering whether she would return his feelings. If she told him that she only saw him as a friend, perhaps he could stop hoping that they would eventually get together. However, how could he? He loved pretending that one day, she would love him back. It's one sick, twisted lie that he loved to tell himself. If all that were gone, he felt like he'd be left with nothing.

"So? Are you going to ask her out?" Courfeyrac suddenly asked. Combeferre looked up to him and shook his head.

"I don't know. I really, really don't know." He answered.

Courfeyrac did not say anything after that. He accompanied his friend in silence as he knew how much he needed that.

Combeferre was so deep in thought that he did not even realize that Eva had come back. He was only brought out of his reverie when Courfeyrac suddenly exclaimed, "Oh for the love of God!" as he glanced at the door of the restaurant. Combeferre followed his gaze and then felt like his heart had dropped to the floor, broken, shattered.

Entering the restaurant was Eponine and Enjolras, looking cheerful and… somehow, still so madly in love with each other. They did not realize that Combeferre, Courfeyrac and Eva was there, staring at them, shocked. Combeferre saw Enjolras leaned closer to Eponine and whispered something in her ears, making her giggle. She punched him playfully in his arm, making him wince but then beamed. They then stared into each other's eyes like there's no one else in the world but them. Courfeyrac whispered, "How the hell did that happen?" to Eva, who chose not to say anything because she was just as surprised as he was.

Courfeyrac turned his head and saw the hurt and disappointment in Combeferre's face. He reached out for his friend but Combeferre swatted his hand away.

"Ferre…"

"I gotta go. I'll see you at the office." He uttered quietly, his voice hoarse.

Everything was almost too much for Combeferre to take. Seeing Eponine and Enjolras together again and Courfeyrac staring at him, eyes filled with sympathy were too much for him. The man grabbed his coat, put the money on the table and said goodbye to both Courfeyrac and Eva. He hoped that he could get out of the restaurant unnoticed. There was only so much he could take and this was the last straw.

However, people could not always get what they wanted. Well, not Combeferre anyway. Just as he was about to get out, Eponine's gaze turned towards the door and saw him. She called his name, making him freeze on the spot. Reluctantly, he turned his head towards Enjolras and Eponine who were at their table and pretended that he was surprised to see them there. He smiled, but he could feel the muscles on his cheeks tensed. This was torture. At first, he contemplated to just wave and made it seem like he's in a rush or something but Eponine suddenly rose from his chair and made her way towards him.

"Ferre, what a coincidence!" she exclaimed as she hugged him tight.

"Well, yes. I just had my lunch with Courf and Eva."

"Oh they're here! I'll say hi later," Eponine smiled. However, her smile dimmed when she saw Combeferre up close and she started to look worried, "Hey, are you okay? You don't look so well," she uttered and put her palm on his forehead, checking if he had fever. Combeferre closed his eyes, trying to ignore how his heart started to beat fast when she touched him. He took her hand in his and said, "I'll be okay. You should get going. Enjolras is waiting for you."

The mention of Enjolras' name caused Eponine to crack a bittersweet smile. She turned towards Enjolras, and as much as Combeferre hated to admit it, he could tell that she still loved him. A twinge of hurt and frustration hit him and he really wished that he could just run away. He wished he could just run away and never looked back. As if it were, his feet were glued to the floor as he gazed at the woman he loved most.

"Enjolras and I… we're not back together. We're just having lunch, as friends," Eponine suddenly said, turning to face Combeferre. She then continued, "I'm sorry. I just think that I have to explain that to you, so you don't get the wrong idea."

Combeferre looked down at his feet. He did not really know what to say. He did not know why Eponine should tell him that but he wasn't going to sit around and ponder. He looked up and his eyes darted to Enjolras' table, where he found Enjolras watching them, waiting for Eponine to come back. Combeferre suddenly felt like he's in the way of two people who were truly in love with each other.

"I think I better go now." Combeferre said shortly and leaned to kiss her cheek. "Goodbye Ep."

…

As Combeferre walked back to his office, millions thoughts about Eponine dominated his mind. He hated how stubborn his heart could be when it came to her. His heart had been bruised, broken just by the thought of her never being his but when she smiled at him, or laughed at his jokes or leaned on his shoulder at night when they're watching a movie together, he could not help but to feel his heart revived and soared. The happiness that he felt, even for just a moment, meant everything to him.

However, pain was an inevitable thing. Pain, the one feeling that you could literally feel settling in the pit of your stomach, making your heart heavier altogether. Pain. That's what he felt when the love of his life fell in love with his best friend. Combeferre knew that it was unfair to put himself through this hell and he should move on there and then. But… he loved her. Damn, he fucking loved her. How could he just let her go? He was supposed to fight for her… but how? With just that, he knew that moving on, getting rid of the love he had for Eponine which had rooted deep in his heart, was not an option. The thought of letting her go suffocated him, constricted his chest until he felt like he could not breathe. So, no, moving on was out of the list.

Combeferre was called The Guide by his friends for a reason. When there came the times of trouble, he was the one who could come out with the most logical and rational solution. However, right now, even the Guide was confused and messed up. What's worse was he was the only one who could get himself out of this mess.

It was only the matter of whether he wanted to or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I am being a bit mean towards Combeferre and I swear to God, I don't hate him. I love him and I had a major Eppieferre feels when I was writing this. I can assure you that this is still an Enjonine story. I know I should stop adding Eppieferre but I cannot help it. Besides, there's going to be one more Eppieferre scene later in this story but that's wayyy later.
> 
> What do you think of Eva? Do you like her? I hope you do!
> 
> ... and I imagine Lily Collins as her :)
> 
> So, tell me what you think. Leave reviews, they always make me want to write faster :D Anyway, have a good day everyone and I'll see you in the next chapter!


	9. The One with the Bachelor (Part 1)

It was a cold and drizzly morning in New York. A woman in dark green dress and tan trench coat was making her way to the coffee shop near her place. Her right hand was holding the umbrella to protect herself from the rain and the other was clutching her phone, typing a text furiously. She looked furious and quite frankly, pretty nervous.

Eponine woke up early this morning and received a text from her boss, saying that her co-worker, Lucy, who was supposed to conduct an interview with the famous millionaire Jesse Ashworth, had succumbed to fever and was now too sick to even get out of bed. As Eponine's boss could not reschedule the interview, he told Eponine who was utterly unprepared to take Lucy's place in conducting the most important piece that the company had ever done. He would not take no for an answer and although Eponine was always up for a challenge, this was a huge deal for her and she was scared that she might really screw things up.

She quickened her steps, trying to get rid of the frustration and anxiety that were building in her chest. She did not know how fast her pace was but the famous green logo of Starbucks was seen in the matter of minutes and her legs felt a little bit sore while her face was sweaty. Sighing, she walked ahead and stepped into the coffee shop.

It was still early but the place was already crowded. She glanced around and saw the person that she was looking for sitting at the table by the window, reading today's newspaper. He was wearing crisp black button down shirt with black slacks and dark blazer. His striking blue eyes were so engrossed in reading the newspaper that he did not realize Eponine's gaze on him. She smiled fondly. She loved seeing him wearing black on black. He was always so attractive but this outfit made him look even more beautiful. Eponine felt her annoyance towards her boss slowly ebbed away at the sight of Enjolras. She wondered why he still had this effect on her even after everything that happened between them.

She supposed that she was staring at him for quite a while because suddenly, she heard complaints from people behind her. As it turned out, she was blocking the entrance. Feeling a little bit ashamed, she cursed herself under her breath and strutted towards the counter where a friendly barista greeted her, ready to take her order. Eponine ordered herself a bagel and a latte and then made her way to Enjolras' table.

It had been going on for two weeks now. At first, it started as lunch between friends who just wanted to catch up. Then, they started going out for dinner. The next morning, she called him and wondered whether he wanted to get breakfast together. Before they knew it, they fell into this comfortable pattern where they would meet every day to just chat and tell each other about their day. Both of them did not know what they just got themselves into but to them, what mattered most was that they could finally be in each other's company without feeling any awkwardness. Cosette, when Eponine told her about the situation with Enjolras, felt like they're just going back to the past and was very concerned. Cosette did not believe that Eponine and Enjolras could ever be friends, not after what they had been through. But what did she know? Eponine and Enjolras were friends now, good friends. At least, that's what they're forcing themselves to believe.

Enjolras did not hear her approach and only looked up after she had sat down and cleared her throat to announce her presence. He could not help but to feel his heart flutter when he saw her. He beamed.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Anything interesting?" Eponine asked, gesturing to the newspaper. Enjolras only sighed and closed the paper that he was reading earlier.

"Nothing of importance,"

Eponine merely nodded and returned to her breakfast. However, she could feel Enjolras' eyes on her. The woman looked up and saw her friend staring at her, his eyes full of questions. Enjolras could tell that she was under a lot of stress, she knew it. She could not hide anything from him. Years of dating caused him to be able to read her better than anybody else.

"Anything you want to tell me?" he asked knowingly. Eponine sighed as she drank her latte. She contemplated about not telling him. After all, her problems were her business, not anybody else's but knowing Enjolras, she figured that he would not shut up until he squeezed the truth out of her. That was what made him a good lawyer; that annoying curiosity.

"We're doing this very important piece on Jesse Ashworth and my boss assigned me to it." Eponine murmured solemnly. She felt her heart beating rapidly against her chest again, her nervousness came rushing in, and the overjoyed look from Enjolras did not help at all.

"Congratulations!" he exclaimed happily. However, when he saw that she was not as excited as he was, he started, "Why? What's wrong? Why are you not happy?"

"I am just not sure whether I am up to it."

"What do you mean you are not up to it?"

"I am not sure whether I can do this. This is huge, Enjolras," she muttered, her voice small and shaky, "I have never covered anything this big before. I am not prepared. Hell, I just found out about it this morning! Now, I look like a total mess and I am so nervous, I think I am going to throw up. God, I am so afraid that I might screw this up!" She finished, clutching her stomach. She looked as pale as sheet and her hands trembling. She was hyperventilating, surprising Enjolras because Eponine was always calm, even when she's under a lot of pressure.

"Hey, hey, you are not going to screw up!" Enjolras reached out and took her hand in his. His grip tightened and Eponine felt her nervousness slowly disappearing. Her breathing went back to normal and she stopped trembling. Her eyes met his mesmerizing blue ones and again, she was left speechless. In a way, she loved that he still had this effect on her. When her mind was clouded by emotions and she could not think straight, his hand holding hers made everything clearer, calming her down. He gave her hope and courage; he made her believe in herself again.

Eponine then took a deep breath and cracked a little smile, assuring him that she was going to be okay.

"And by the way," he added, smiling impishly, "you don't look like a mess. You're beautiful."

Eponine chuckled and felt her face heating up. Seeing her laugh, Enjolras could not help but to grin widely. His thumb stroked her hand, loving how it still managed to make her shiver a little.

Both of them fell into such comfortable silence that it took them a while to realize that they were still holding hands and were gazing into each other's eyes. Enjolras was the one who noticed this first and when he did, he reluctantly let go of her, ignoring how he immediately missed the warmth of her hand. He cleared his throat and looked out of the window while she sipped on her latte, waiting for him to say something. Eponine could practically hear Enjolras' brain searching for topics to talk about to steer them away from this awkwardness.

"So, who is this Jesse Ashworth? Is he famous?" he asked out of the sudden.

Eponine raised an eyebrow and smiled wickedly. Trying to lighten the mood, she joked "And since when do you care about famous people?"

"Since two days ago," he answered shortly, his cheeks reddening as he remembered one of the most embarrassing moments that ever happened to him.

Two days ago, Enjolras, Eponine, Grantaire, Combeferre, Courfeyrac and Eva went to Marius and Cosette's house because Cosette finally let Marius use the kitchen and he was so excited that he invited everybody for dinner so that they could taste his cooking. Although they were so scared that they might get food poisoning, out of the spirit of friendship, they went anyway. While waiting for the dinner to be ready, all of them got together in the living room to watch the game on television. Courfeyrac kept rambling on and on to anyone who cared (Combeferre, Eponine and Eva listened intently but others were only half-listening) about Beyoncé's albums that Eva bought for him last week and how he's now a 'Bey', whatever that meant. Then, out of the blue, Enjolras asked them a question that no human in the right mind (or in this decade) would ever ask.

"Who the hell is Beyoncé?" he questioned innocently while his eyes were still watching the game on television. When he heard everyone suddenly became silent, he turned and seemed surprised to find that everyone was staring at him like he had lost his mind. He saw Combeferre and Eponine basically mirrored each other, with their jaw dropped and eyes widened because of shock. Courfeyrac, Eva and Marius appeared to be extremely offended while Grantaire and Cosette froze in the middle of the fight for the remote control. Nevertheless, his next question was the one that caused them to make fun of him all night long. He asked, "What? Is this Beyoncé famous or something?"

Eponine giggled at the memory of Combeferre saying unbelievingly to Enjolras, "Enjolras, even my grandmother knows who Beyoncé is and she's 80". However, her giggle turned into full on laughter when she recalled how Courfeyrac, Eva and Marius gave him cold shoulders for the rest of the night, offended that their group leader didn't know anything about their 'Queen Bey'. The morning after, when she was having her breakfast with Enjolras, Marius came all the way from his apartment to join them and gave Enjolras his full set of Beyoncé's albums, demanding him to listen to her. Eponine could barely contain her laughter now, tears fell from her eyes and her stomach was starting to hurt.

Enjolras seemed to be offended but then he saw how happy she was now and he could not bring himself to be mad at her. So he simply sighed and drank his coffee, looking out the window, waiting for her to stop laughing.

When she finally did, she saw that Enjolras was no longer looking at her. Suddenly, she was afraid that he might be angry at her for making fun of him. She tried to remain cool as she put on her most sincere smile and cooed, "Enjolras…"

He turned and found her grinning at him. He smiled back, indicating that he's not mad at her, which caused the brunette to breathe a sigh of relief. Enjolras then repeated his question earlier, "So, now will you tell me who Jesse Ashworth is?"

Eponine smiled apologetically and answered, "He's the head of Ashworth Corporation. A millionaire with the heart of gold, according to my boss. From what I've read about him this morning, I can conclude that he's quite brilliant. Graduated from Harvard with the highest honour, started to work with his dad and took over the company not long after. He's now a millionaire but he's really sweet and humble. He set up charity funds and helped lots of people to get back on their feet. I mean, that's just quite remarkable, don't you think?"

"Yes, it is."

"And to do all that before turning 30…" Eponine continued but stopped when Enjolras held up his hand, looking utterly surprised.

"I'm sorry. 'Before turning 30'? How old is this guy?"

"He's 29. He's turning 30 this year. Wait, I saved his pictures in here," Eponine said, unlocking her phone and searched the gallery. A frown formed on Enjolras' face. He felt uneasy about the fact that she had pictures of some 29-year-old stranger in her phone. He knew he shouldn't be worried or at all offended but he did so there's that.

"Here," she handed him her phone. He took it from her and was surprised to see how young Jesse Ashworth was, or how amazingly good-looking he was. Enjolras felt his heart grew heavier. His eyes darted back to Eponine who was looking at him expectantly. While he was excited for Eponine and her interview, right now, he was not exactly keen about her meeting Jesse Ashworth. Enjolras could not quite fathom his feelings right now. He was jealous and was suddenly so protective of her, but it started to hurt when he remembered that he did not have any right to feel this way.

"He's okay." He said stubbornly. Jealousy was clear in his tone, much to his dismay, but he was glad that Eponine did not comment anything about that. Eponine glanced at her watch and suddenly cursed. She rose from her chair, grabbed her phone from Enjolras' hand, said goodbye and almost ran towards the door, leaving Enjolras dumbfounded.

However, she stopped and made her way back to Enjolras to ask, "Want to have dinner together tonight?"

Enjolras simply snorted and reminded her of her plans this night "Ep, I am going out with the guys and you're going out with Cosette, Eva and Musichetta. Remember?"

"Oh shit, I forgot about that. Well, I guess… I'll see you around?"

"I'll see you around." Enjolras answered shortly.

Enjolras sighed as he watched her got into a cab and went away. He was battling a feeling that he could not quite comprehend. He had absolutely no right to be possessive and resentful but after spending so much time with her, he could not help but to think that she was still his Eponine and he would do anything to protect her from any threat. Right now, he saw this Jesse guy as a threat (although he was more of a threat to him than to Eponine). He did not like the probability of Jesse flirting with her, especially when he could not do anything about it. Heck, he did not like the idea of them being in the same room. He had really bad feeling about this. He felt like something was going to go wrong. He felt like she was slipping away from him and no matter how tightly he held on to her, she's going to go away. This feeling made him sick to his stomach as it reminded him of what he thought about the night he and Eponine broke up.

No, Enjolras. No. You shouldn't feel this way. You're not allowed to feel this way, he told himself. Besides, this interview might be strictly professional and he actually had absolutely nothing to worry about. Eponine was not the kind of girl who would go for someone like Jesse. So, no, he had nothing to worry about. He was just overthinking everything again. Yes, he was just overthinking.

With that thought, he rose from his chair and made his way out of the coffee house, trying hard to shake off the sinking feeling in his heart which was telling him that he really was going to lose her all over again and there was nothing that he could do to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Will Eponine ace this interview? Is something going to happen between Eponine and Jesse? Is Enjolras right when he feels like he's going to lose her?


	10. The One with the Bachelor (Part 2)

There was one word that people always use when they were asked to describe Jesse Ashworth, and that word was 'blessed'. He had the perfect life that anyone could have ever asked for.

Jesse was born in a loving family of four. His parents were still together and in love even after years of marriage, and his sister had been nothing but supportive of everything he had done.

All of them were amazingly talented, not to mention very good-looking. Because of those, some people claimed that the Ashworth family had the 'golden genes'.

Jesse's father, Christian Ashworth was the founder of the Ashworth Corporation. His mother, Vanessa Lydia Ashworth was a best-selling author and his sister, Blaire Marie Ashworth was an up and coming supermodel. In a way, yes, the Ashworth had everything that anyone could have ever wanted; the power, the fame, the wealth. They were one happy family and together, they were strong and invincible.

Jesse Ashworth was thankful of everything he had. However, even after a lifetime having everything he could have possibly wanted, there was emptiness in his life that he was yet to fill. This was cheesy as hell but he actually wanted to get married and settle down. He had everything he could have ever asked for, except that he was yet to find a woman who could fill the void in his heart.

He laughed at himself for being such a sap but he could not change who he was. Behind this charismatic and fierce businessman was a hopeless romantic fool.

Jesse sighed as he leaned back on his chair. On his work desk, there was a picture of a gorgeous young woman, with flowing dark brown hair and emerald green eyes. He reached for the picture, a smile plastered on his face. The woman was beautiful. The woman was the only one who ever managed to win his heart.

He remembered how the innocent look from the young woman captivated him when he first laid eyes on her. It's like he was inclined to protect her, even if he did not know her. He learned soon enough that she never needed his protection. Heck, she was the strongest woman he had ever encountered. She was the most amazing woman he was ever lucky enough to call his.

As he stared at the picture, he felt that jab in his heart, hurting him, reminding him how much her longed for her, how much he missed her. She was gone now, far from his reach. It had been years since she left him. Why did he still feel this way? Why was he still hopelessly, desperately in love with her?

Jesse stroked the frame, knowing that he would do anything to replace the cold metal in his hand for the warmth of her skin. Jesse loved that dimpled smile of hers. She always smiled, even when she's under pressure. She believed that just because she's unhappy, it didn't mean that everyone around her should, so she spent her waking moments trying to put a smile of people's faces although she was suffering. That was one of her qualities that made him fall in love with her.

Jesse was the happiest when he was with her. She was perfect. Even after all these years, he could still hear her laughter, he could still feel her touch on his skin, he could still hear the softness of her voice telling him that she loved him too.

"I miss you, Marissa," he said. He was not crying but there was nothing but hurt and longing in his tone.

Suddenly, the phone rang. He glanced at the ID and groaned. It's his client.

God, he wasn't in the mood to answer any call right now. He wanted to ignore it but thought better of it when he remembered the three million dollar deal that he was trying to make with this asshole. Feeling grumpy, he clicked on the 'accept' button and was about to answer the call when his assistant came in to tell him that the reporter who was supposed to interview him had just arrived.

Great. Just great.

He asked his assistant to call the interviewer in, hoping that this interview would be short, just like his temper was beginning to be.

Sighing deeply, Jesse answered his phone and tried hard to sound cheerful. He got up from his chair and looked out of the window, only half-listening to what his client was saying. There were hardly any words coming out of his mouth because he did not feel like talking, so he only made sounds of agreement. He was in such a foul mood that he did not think that he even care about this deal anymore.

Suddenly, he heard someone cleared her throat and he turned around. He had the shock of his life when he saw the woman in front of him. She was dressed in a dark green dress, which was Marissa's favourite colour. Her shoulder-length, flowing dark brown hair looked amazing. She cracked a nervous smile, showing her deep dimples. Jesse felt butterflies in his stomach. In a way, he felt like he was staring at the ghost from his past. It's like Marissa had come back to him.

No, this woman was not Marissa.

Marissa was gone. Although this woman's resemblance to Marissa was uncanny, in one closer look, Jesse could spot their differences right away. While Marissa had sweet and innocent look, this woman had challenging, almost teasing look that attracted him right away. She saw him observing her. While Marissa would shy away and told him to stop doing that, this woman stared right back at him, her gaze was stubborn and her eyes questioned why he was staring at her like that. She frowned at his glance. She was brave, she was unafraid… and he liked that.

Her red lips then curved into a knowing smile, as if she had figured him out. Her coy smile caused Jesse's heart to pound rapidly against his chest and something inside him soared. After a long time, Jesse Ashworth felt alive, and he could finally breathe again.

He was no longer listening to what his client was saying as the woman got his full attention, without doing anything, really, and that was impressive. Jesse simply told his client to call him another time. Ignoring the protests from the man on the other line, he put the phone back on the receiver and walked towards to woman until they were standing face to face.

The woman seemed to appreciate his attention because her grin grew wider.

Looking up at him, she then held out her hand and said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Ashworth. I'm Eponine. Eponine Thenardier."

…..

"This is a very nice office, Mr. Ashworth," Eponine said after she gulped the water. Her voice was clearer now, which was good because she wanted Mr. Ashworth to listen to her questions later. She did not like to repeat herself.

Eponine looked around the office which was painted in white and had the latest, and what she presumed the most expensive furniture. She would be lying if she said that she was not impressed. However, a little part of her could not help but to wonder, how much money did this guy make, actually? To spend lots of money on charity and aid organizations and still had more to buy all these luxurious items… it's pretty remarkable.

Cosette once told her that the more we give, the more we get back. She was right.

"Thank you." He replied. Eponine turned her head and found Jesse Ashworth staring at her, observing her. His hooded grey eyes, as silver as the winter moon were so mesmerizing that they took her breath away. His jaw was strong, and he had rough stubble which made his feature more attractive. He had this wolfish look to him, which Eponine found quite intimidating but at the same time very alluring.

"Should we start the interview then?" Eponine asked, taking out her notebook.

"Yeah, sure,"

"So, Mr. Ashworth," she started, "you have been voted as New York's most eligible bachelor. How do you feel about that title?"

"I feel honoured. I have worked hard to get to where I am today, and I can say that everything paid off. Sometimes everything can be quite overwhelming but to have people's love and support means everything to me. This is one of the awards that I will always cherish."

Eponine smiled, "These media attention to you must somewhat affects your personal life. How do you cope?"

"It is not easy, but I have been raised to handle this ever since I was a little because paparazzi used to follow my father everywhere. It was hard but after some time, I get used to it. My personal life is still mine though, and my privacy is something that I really cherish. I am glad that so far no one has ever tried to disrespect that."

"You have been in this business for a long time. Is this what you have always wanted to do ever since you were young? What makes you enter this business?"

"My father. Everything I am right now is because of my amazing father. He is my idol and my inspiration. He taught me about this business ever since I was 8 and I learnt a lot from him ever since. I look up to him so I aspired to be just like him. Everything I do, I do it for him. He had done a lot for me so I hope I can pay him back by making him proud," Jesse answered sincerely. There was spark in his eyes when he talked about his father, as if he was still a little boy who got excited about superheroes.

Perhaps inside, he was still that little boy and his father was his superhero. Eponine could not help but to feel extremely touched. She did not have any parental figures, so she had always wondered how did it feel like to grow up in such a happy family.

"That is amazing, Mr. Ashworth."

"Thank you, Ms. Thenardier." He replied. They looked at each other for a while, before Eponine cleared her throat and proceeded to the next question. She felt blush creeping on her cheeks as Jesse chuckled but then listened to her question intently.

The rest of the interview went smoothly, and Eponine was amazed by how comfortable she felt when she's with this man. From the interview, she learnt that he was close with his family, and he would always go visit them despite the distance. He loved sports, but he preferred to play instead of watching because he just loved the excitement and adrenaline. In their little conversations, she found out that his guilty pleasure was musicals and he was a huge ice-cream junkie. He used to go across town and tasted every single flavour of ice-cream there ever was.

Eponine could not help but to laugh because even after tasting lots and lots of ice-cream, his favourite was still the raspberry one from Baskin Robbins. Jesse seemed to take great pleasure for being able to make Eponine laugh, as his lips curved upwards, forming a satisfied smirk. Her giggle gradually stopped, and now they were staring into each other's eyes. Just like that, the air in the room turned into something more sensuous, more flirty.

Eponine realized that this was highly unprofessional of her. She realized that she had got everything that she needed a while ago, and she only stayed because talking to Jesse was fun and entertaining. At first, she thought he would be boring but now she knew that there was more to him and she would love to get to know him better. However, she was here for work and she had to stop now before things got serious.

"Well, erm…" she hesitated, "I think I've got everything that I need." She continued as she stood up. Jesse seemed to be surprised at her abruptness but realized that he could not do anything to keep her here.

"Thank you so much for your time, Mr. Ashworth." Eponine uttered as she held out her hand for Jesse to shake.

"It's my pleasure." Jesse shook her hand and cursed himself mentally for loving the warmth of her hand and he realized that he never wanted to let her go. Then he realized that he might never see her again after this, that she was going to slip away. He could not live with that. He wanted her to stay. But how?

She was already on her way to the door when he blurted out, "Would you like to have a drink with me?"

Eponine froze and turned around. She raised an eyebrow, and Jesse prepared himself for her rejection.

"What?"

"I- I mean, if you wanted to. I would- I would love to talk to you and… I mean, d- do you want to?" he stuttered, wondering why he suddenly lost his ability to even form a full sentence right now.

She looked at her watch, and seemed to be thinking about something. But then she chuckled, her hand rubbing the back of her neck as gazed at him with the big brown eyes and curved a smile which made his heart flutter. It had been a while since he laid eyes on someone with such beauty.

She opened her mouth and Jesse sucked in breath, the beating in his heart matched the beating of the drums and he felt like he could not breathe.

"I would love to, Mr. Ashworth."

Jesse breathed a sigh of relief. Eponine seemed to be amused when she saw how nervous he was.

"You don't have to look so surprised, Mr. Ashworth. I don't have to be at the office for another hour. And I know a place which has the best coffee" she flirted.

Jesse blushed and then took his coat from the rack and made his way towards her.

He smiled, opening the door for her and said,

"Lead the way."


	11. The One with Girls Night In

Eponine knocked on the door to Cosette's apartment, sighing because she had been looking forward to going out with her tonight, but then Cosette sent her a last minute text, telling her that she did not feel well enough to go out. Instead, she invited the girls to her apartment, saying that they would have the place to themselves as Marius would go out to the bar with the guys.

She did not mind but still, she felt a little disappointed. Besides, she was not quite excited to spend the night at Cosette's apartment. Cosette's place did not bring happy memories for her.

Right now, as she stared at the door, she was reminded of the time after she broke up with Enjolras. She remembered how miserable and broken she was. She recalled that she could not bring herself to face him, that she had to confide her feelings to Cosette, asking her what she should do next. Cosette, being the great friend she was at that time, gave Eponine the keys to her new apartment, this apartment, so that she could be alone for a while and gather her thoughts.

Eponine decided that she should no longer think about the dark time for both her and Enjolras; especially everything's going so great between them and they're now friends again.

Pushing the thoughts away, she raised her knuckles to knock on the door, but before she got to do that, the door opened and standing before her was Enjolras.

She supposed that after years, she would be able to look at him without feeling butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She would be able to look at him and not be struck by how dashing he was. Most of all, she should be able to look at him and didn't feel that little twinge of regret for letting him go.

Why was she so messed up when it came to him?

Enjolras smiled when he saw her.

"Hi, you"

"Hi,"

There was an awkward silence.

Eponine was about to ask him about his day when she heard a shriek behind Enjolras and she tilted her head to find the source. Suddenly, Enjolras felt someone grabbing him by the shoulder and pushed him roughly to the wall. The person then ignored his sounds of protest and ran towards Eponine. Before Eponine could register what was happening, she was brought into a bone-crushing, suffocating hug by Musichetta.

"Eppie, I have missed you so much!" she exclaimed, tightening her embrace. Eponine struggled to breathe, so she patted Musichetta's arm awkwardly, signalling her to loosen her embrace.

Musichetta let Eponine go and held her at arm's length. She observed Eponine's feature; looking satisfied that the woman was in a good and healthy shape. Eponine beamed at Musichetta, pulling her into a hug again.

"I miss you too, Chetta!" Eponine replied eagerly, earning a giggle from Musichetta.

Eponine looked up and saw Cosette and Eva grinning, seemed to be amused at Musichetta's enthusiasm. All of them understood why Musichetta was like that though. It was because Musichetta was never in town, so she barely had the time to see her friends. As a successful model, she had to travel all the time, promoting shows and being in the runway. She was content with her job though, as she was now fulfilling the dream that she had ever since she was a child.

But everything came with a price. Her busy work schedule caused her to be separated from her friends almost all year long, and it was made worse because if being away from her friends was bad, she also had to be away from her boyfriend, Joly, too. People said that long distance relationship would never work but Musichetta was not the one who would listen to other people. Somehow, she made everything work.

Her relationship with Joly was stronger than ever. Her relationship with her friends was still the same; there was never any awkwardness whenever they met. It was as if she never left.

"Come on in, 'Ponine. We're just about to leave," Eponine heard Marius spoke behind Musichetta. Eponine grinned as Marius kissed her on her cheek before saying goodbye and walked out of the door. He then tapped Enjolras' shoulder, signalling that they should leave now.

"Let's go Enjolras,"

"Alright, let's"

Enjolras gazed at Eponine before he closed the door.

"Bye,"

"Bye,"

And the door was closed.

….............................................................................

"Is something going on between you and Enjolras?" Musichetta asked suddenly, catching Eponine by surprise. Eva looked amused seeing Eponine's expression while Cosette was simply exasperated.

Eponine did not feel like talking about this today, not when they're having such a great time not talking about the boys.

Cosette, being the amazing woman she was, managed to make such delicious dinner even though it was at the very last minute. Eponine told her that they could just call for pizza because the idea of Cosette making dinner for all four of them instead of resting and taking care of her pregnant self, made Eponine feel extremely guilty. However, Cosette insisted and Eponine knew better than to argue with her.

So, right now they were hanging out in Cosette's living room, their stomach full after a lovely dinner. They're watching old episodes of Friends from the DVD that Marius got Cosette for their anniversary. Eponine was having such a good time, and the thought of her feelings for Enjolras seemed to have ruined all that for her.

"Nothing is going on between me and Enjolras, Chetta. We're only friends," Eponine answered truthfully, darting her eyes from Musichetta to the television. However, she could feel that Musichetta was not done, so she braced herself for her next question.

Eponine was surprised when it was not Musichetta who brought the issue to the next level.

"Really? Courfeyrac told me that Enjolras could not stop talking about you." Eva suddenly spoke. All heads turned to her.

There was silence.

"I mean, how could he not? Both of you have been spending a lot of time together lately," she continued innocently. Musichetta seemed to be beyond amused while Cosette simply rolled her eyes when she saw that Eponine appeared to be pleased to find out about the new information.

"Stop it," Cosette interrupted the moment.

She sighed before continuing, "Eponine, I don't know what games are you playing with Enjolras, but I am going to tell you what I've told you both before. This thing between you two are not going to work. I want to say that it took a long time for both of you to get over each other, but it seems to me like both of you are still very much in love. Seriously, Eponine, you cannot go back to the past because it's familiar. It's nice, but it's a mistake. You have got to move on. This thing between you and Enjolras needs to stop."

Cosette huffed impatiently, hating how close Eponine was to Enjolras lately. Marius kept telling her to stay out of their business but how could she? It was hard for her to accept Enjolras because he broke her friend's heart. It was even tougher for her to watch her best friend falling in love with the same man all over again. Seriously, it had been three years since their awful break up. She thought they would at least think about dating other people.

This matter irritated Cosette very much because a) she would hate it if their history repeated itself, and b) it was getting harder for her to keep her promise to Marius.

Cosette shivered when she remembered how furious Marius was at her after he found out about Cosette meddling in Eponine and Enjolras' relationship. As the man was always patient and kind, seeing him lose his temper was the scariest thing that Cosette had ever witnessed. Marius refused to talk to her for weeks, causing a strain in their relationship.

It was one of those times when Cosette felt utterly miserable.

Cosette understood why he was angry though. Although they always made fun of him, other than herself, his friends were the people whom Marius cherished and loved the most. Because of her doing, two of his friends were broken, one in another freaking country and one did not have the chance to make up for what he had done.

It took him a while to finally forgive his girlfriend but when he finally did, he made her promise to never interfere with his friends' business ever again.

However, right now, both Eponine and Enjolras were making it so hard for her to not interfere and keep her promise.

"I appreciate you trying to protect me, Cosette but I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,"

"Really, Ep? Because right now it seems to me that you're going back to the past instead of moving on to the future,"

"Maybe Enjolras is her past, her present and her future," Eva interrupted as she sipped her wine.

Musichetta giggled as she took the glass of wine from Eva's hand, "Alright girl, you're drunk. That's enough wine for you,"

Eponine could not help but to laugh, but her laughter gradually stopped when she saw that Cosette was glaring angrily at her.

"Cosette, I am doing really well. You don't have to worry. Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Enjolras, ever. I am moving on, believe me, I am," Eponine emphasized on the word 'ever' to prove her point. She felt her heart sink a little when she realized what that really meant. Was she never going to give him another chance? Were they never ever getting back together?

She did not know the answer to that.

Cosette squinted and she seemed to not believe Eponine at all. Eponine was about to tell Cosette that she had absolutely nothing to worry about when a cushion was suddenly thrown to her head. She winced and glared at Musichetta's direction. The gorgeous woman seemed to be bursting with excitement.

"I know that look! You're seeing someone!" she cried elatedly, pointing her finger at Eponine.

"What?!" Cosette and Eva exclaimed in unison, turning their heads from Musichetta to Eponine, who looked like a deer caught in headlights. Eponine blinked rapidly, her mind had gone blank at Musichetta's guess.

She was not seeing someone else, but she would be lying if she said that right now she was not all attracted to another man. Again, she was not in the mood to talk about it. She was here to have fun with her friends, not be interrogated about her love life.

But Musichetta being Musichetta, there was no way in hell that she was going to let Eponine out of this.

"Come on, tell us! What's his name?"

"No one! Seriously, can we please drop it? This show is definitely more interesting than my love life!" Eponine pointed to the television, where Friends was still playing.

"No it's not!" Eva suddenly spoke and rose from her chair. She staggered to Eponine's direction, clearly too drunk for her own good, and then took a seat next to the pretty brunette.

"Come on, tell us!" she urged impatiently, tugging Eponine's arm like a child.

Eponine turned from Eva to Cosette, pleading for help. However, the blonde seemed to be just as curious as Musichetta and Eva so she did not try to help her friend. Feeling outnumbered, Eponine sighed. She knew that she had to spill the details or they would never leave her alone.

"His name is Jesse Ashworth. We're not going out. I went to interview him this morning, and after that, we went for a cup of coffee. That's all. Let's not make a big deal out of it, shall we?"

"Jesse Ashworth? You mean Jesse Daniel Ashworth? The Jesse Ashworth? The head of the Ashworth Corporation? That Jesse Ashworth?" Musichetta said unbelievingly. Eponine's gaze landed briefly on Cosette and Eva before turning back to Musichetta. She was surprised to see how shocked they all were.

"Err… yes?"

"You bitch! I cannot believe you're dating New York's most eligible bachelor and you don't even bother to tell us!" Eva exclaimed dramatically, punching Eponine's arm playfully.

"We're not dating! I just went for a cup of coffee with him. It meant nothing!"

Eponine hugged the cushion that Musichetta threw at her earlier, as if it was her only defence against her friends' questions. Judging by the way her friends were looking at her right now, she could not help but to feel a little under attack.

"Oh come on! A guy like Jesse does not ask a stranger out for a coffee! He never ever has the time for it, but he makes time for you? Oh my God, he likes you!" Musichetta squealed, as giddy as a teenage girl.

"All of you are blowing this way out of proportion," Eponine chuckled, tightening her hold on the cushion.

Eponine had to admit that Jesse was indeed one of the most attractive men she had ever met. If she was being frank, she actually had a lot of fun talking to him. He was a total gentleman, and for one hour they spent at the coffee shop, their conversation went smoothly, as if she had known him longer than just one interview. It's crazy how comfortable she felt around him. Besides, she usually took a lot longer to trust other people. But Jesse… he was different. He was special.

She could not quite fathom her feelings for Jesse. She had only met him this morning, for God's sake.

However, before she went back to her office, Jesse asked whether he could have her number, saying that he would love to call and go out for a cup of coffee with her sometimes. He looked so nervous when he asked her, which Eponine thought was very cute.

And she wished that he would call.

Suddenly, Eponine's phone rang and it was an unknown ID. She glanced at her friends, who had the same question lingering on their faces. Curious, she answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, may I speak to Miss Thenardier?"

Eponine smiled. She knew that voice. It was Jesse. She had to suppress a giggle as she listened to the formality in his tone.

"Hi, Mr. Ashworth. How are you?" Eponine answered, her tone was also formal, mocking him.

There was silence on the other line.

"How did you know it's me?"

"Well, I have a great way in recognizing voices."

Eponine's head turned to see her friends trying so hard to hold back their squeal. Well, Musichetta and Eva seemed excited. Cosette only shook her head, holding back a laugh.

"That's cool." Jesse replied lamely.

Eponine did not say anything. Why did he call her? It's already night.

"Is there something that you wanted to talk about, Mr. Ashworth?" Eponine finally questioned. A cheeky smile formed on her face.

"I- I was just thinking about you,"

Eponine blushed, swatting Musichetta and Eva who were trying to press their ears to her phone, hoping to listen to what Jesse was saying.

"Put him on speaker!" Eva whispered eagerly.

"No!" Eponine said as she stood up. Shaking her head, she made her way out to the balcony, leaving the girls dumbfounded and if possible, even more curious.

"I'm sorry if I am being such a creep," Jesse said on the other line. He sounded genuinely hurt. Poor little thing, he thought that 'No!' was for him.

"I'm sorry. My friends were being nosey."

"Oh, am I interrupting something?" Jesse asked, sounding unsure.

"Well, kind of. But I don't mind. I like talking to you."

Eponine could tell that he was smiling.

"But still, it's really rude for me to interrupt your moment with your friends. I will call you tomorrow," he said finally.

Eponine felt a little disappointed.

"Or maybe we can meet up this Saturday?" she heard Jesse ask.

"I'm sorry?"

Jesse sighed before he repeated himself, "I said, maybe we can meet up this Saturday? Say… dinner at 8?"

"Are you asking me out, Mr. Ashworth?"

She heard Jesse chuckle before saying, "Well, yes. Yes, I am."

Eponine laughed. She spun her heels, turning to see her friends, who were watching her curiously. Her gaze landed on Cosette, who seemed to be half amused, half sceptical about Eponine's interest in Jesse. Eponine suddenly felt the need to prove her wrong. She was indeed interested in Jesse, and he was not some rebound guy whom she would use to get over Enjolras. No, this time, Cosette was wrong about her.

"Sure, Mr. Ashworth. Why not?"

…............................................................

A few minutes later, Eponine walked back into the living room. Cosette lay on the couch, waiting for Eponine to tell them what was going on. Eponine had a grin on her face and Cosette knew that grin very well. She was excited about something.

"Well?" Musichetta teased.

"Well," Eponine said as she put her phone in her jeans pocket, "I guess I have a date this Saturday,"

Eva and Musichetta cheered joyfully as they went to hug Eponine. Cosette snorted, beaming as she found that Musichetta and Eva were more excited about the date than Eponine was. While hugging both Musichetta and Eva, Eponine's eyes met Cosette's and they both seemed to share a moment of understanding.

Cosette now believed that her friend was moving on. The thought of that made her feel at peace. The thought of there's another man, other than Enjolras, who could make her friend happy made Cosette excited. She beamed at Eponine, seeing her grin grew wider.

Eponine is finally moving on, Cosette thought to herself.

Good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys want jealous Enjolras, and I will give you that. But I also want to play with Jesse and Eponine, so I really hope you like Jesse! He was going to be in this for while! :D
> 
> And this is still an Enjonine story, so no worries.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading and leaving reviews! Sometimes I cannot believe that this story already has 10 chapters. More drama and angst coming, so I hope you're up for that!
> 
> Tell me what you think! Your reviews are always appreciated as they never fail to motivate me to keep writing! And if you have any suggestions or criticism on how I can make this story better, please please please, I would love to hear them!
> 
> See you in the next chapter xx!


	12. The One with Them Playing Games

There was a good reason why the Pontmercy and Fauchlevant’s residence was always spotless, and it’s because of the blonde woman who was feverishly scrubbing the already spotless kitchen counter. It was her way to release her pent up anger and frustration, for she hardly saw her boyfriend these past few weeks and she had to do something to keep her emotions at bay. She looked up, her eyes watered at she glanced at the luxurious and spacious, yet empty and quiet apartment. 

This was not how she was supposed to spend her weekend. 

Cosette had everything planned. She wanted to bring her boyfriend out of town today so that they could have some alone time. It had been a while since they spend some time together without having their friends butting in or him having to answer calls from his office. However, nowadays, it was the calls from Marius’ boss that bothered Cosette the most.

For these past few weeks, Marius had been doing nothing but work. There were times that he had to spend the night at the office because of his hectic schedule. When he came home, he would be utterly exhausted to even talk to her. Marius was sleep deprived, stressed and overworked. He often complained about headaches and fatigue, proving that his work was taking a severe toll on his health.

And Cosette was worried.

She knew that there was nothing that her boyfriend needed but a weekend away from his office and his boss. He needed to clear his mind and get everything together. For God’s sake, their baby was going to be born in another 6 months, but they were far from prepared.

Besides, Cosette wanted her boyfriend to be in a healthy state to see their first child. She did not want to be alone in the delivering room and find out that his boyfriend too was admitted because he overworked himself. She was not an idiot, nor was she ungrateful. She knew that Marius was doing everything he could to give her and their baby the best in everything. Even if it meant that he had to work extra hard for them, so be it. Yet, he was too absorbed in the idea of them having everything they needed that he forgot the one person who mattered the most, the one person who could make this family complete.

Him.

Cosette had to do something to help her boyfriend, but it was not as easy as it was.

Marius’ schedule was crazy, and she hardly saw him. Whenever he was home, she did not want to berate him about him overworking himself. It took Cosette weeks to finally be able to talk to him about her worries and being a sweetheart he was, Marius promised to talk to his boss about giving him a weekend off so that he could spend some time with Cosette. She was happy, so the moment he said yes, she started planning the perfect weekend for him. He needed a good break, and she would give him the best weekend of his life. She was not going to disappoint him.

However, today, the day of the supposedly perfect weekend, he was the one who disappointed her.

Cosette woke up today feeling excited and happy, but her excitement vanished the moment when she found Marius’ side of their bed empty. At the kitchen, she found a note from Marius, a note that broke her heart as well as destroying her perfect plans for him.

He had gone to work.

Cosette closed her eyes, trying hard to keep herself together. This was only the second time Marius had to work on weekend. This was definitely a petty thing to cry about. 

However, as tears rolled down her cheeks, she realized that this indeed was a big deal. 

Her boyfriend broke his promise. Her boyfriend officially had not only worked endless hours on weekdays, but now he would start to do so on weekends too. Her boyfriend’s health was going to be even worse and now she could not stop worrying.

She shook her head and furiously wiped the tears off her face. No, she was not going to be a cry baby about this. She blamed the tears on her hormones as she took a deep, shaky breath. Cosette then continued wiping the counter, ignoring the fact that it was already so shiny that she could see her own reflection on it. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Cosette sighed and threw the rag she used to wipe the counter into the dustbin and made her way to the door. She opened it and felt her sadness dissipated as she found Eponine and Musichetta at her doorstep. For what it’s worth, Cosette knew that she was lucky to have two best friends who would quickly come to her rescue when she told them that she had to spend the weekend alone again. Unlike Marius, she could count on her girls to never leave her alone.

“Hi you guys,” Cosette smiled, “Wait a sec, I’ll get my coat,” 

She took off her coat off the rack and felt her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and found that it was a text from Marius. Her smiling face contorted into a frown, her sadness that disappeared a minute ago came rushing in as she read his text. He apologized for breaking his promise and wrecking the plan she had for him. It pained him to disappoint her like this, especially when he knew that she had been looking forward for today. He said that he would make it up to her. He promised.

Cosette did not want to doubt her boyfriend, but right now, she could not believe him either. She was tired of being the only one who made an effort to keep everything together. She was tired being the only who wanted to make things better. Most of all, she was tired of being the only one who cared. 

Fighting back tears, she forced her shaky fingers to type out a reply:

“Don’t bother.”

……………………………………..

“So, Eppie, are you excited for your date tonight?” Musichetta suddenly spoke. They were at Musain, having breakfast and no one had said anything for the past fifteen minutes.

Cosette’s eyes darted to her and she felt a surge of relief that she had Musichetta as her friend. Right now, Musichetta was trying to break the awkward silence that fell at their table after Cosette had told them about Marius. Both Eponine and Musichetta were surprised to find that the couple were having a problem. In fact, they were so surprised that it rendered them speechless. Sure, couples fight but Marius and Cosette were unlike any other couple. They understood each other so much that they never fought. They were sickeningly sweet, and although they annoyed the hell out of everyone because of their lovey-dovey attitude, Marius and Cosette were still the couple they looked up to.

Therefore, to find out that the power couple had problems was quite shocking. Eponine and Musichetta wanted nothing but help her but knowing Cosette, she would not appreciate them telling her what to do and what not to do. Right now, Cosette wanted them to listen. And after they had listened, she needed a distraction.

Eponine’s eyebrows furrowed when Musichetta suddenly asked her about her date tonight with Jesse, but then understood immediately when she found that Cosette too, was watching her with interest. Eponine chuckled as she smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck as she answered, “Yes, yes I am.”

Musichetta squealed excitedly. 

“Alright, we’re going shopping! I am going to find you a dress that is so perfect that it will drive him crazy!” Musichetta exclaimed, wriggling her eyebrows at Eponine. Eponine rolled her eyes at Musichetta’s excitement and turned to Cosette, wondering whether she was in the mood to join them shopping today. 

To her surprise, Cosette too, was just as excited as Musichetta as she clapped her hands and said, “Yes! Oh my God, I know just the place to go!”

Eponine’s eyes widened at Cosette’s sudden change of mood. Her shock then changed to terror as she remembered how it was like shopping with Cosette and Musichetta. Going out with them was like being in a vigorous treasure hunt. The two women were relentless in their pursuit of everything they wanted and needed, even if it’s just grocery items. She recalled the time when Cosette literally pinned a woman who fought her in a sale and threw the dress she wanted to Musichetta, who sprinted towards the cashier to pay for the dress. She did not know how her friends escaped assault charges, and she did not want to know. 

All she knew was that when it came to shopping, no one should mess with her friends.

Eponine rubbed her temple. This was going to be a long day, especially now when Cosette and Musichetta had made it their mission to find her the perfect dress.

But everything was going to be great, Eponine convinced herself. 

She glanced at her phone and grinned when she found that there’s a text from Jesse. The thing was, ever since the night he asked her out, Jesse and Eponine had been texting non-stop. It started as a good morning text, which turned friendly and then flirty. As Jesse was always busy, they did not get the chance to meet, so tonight would be the time when Eponine could see him again. She typed a reply to Jesse, smiling fondly as she was suddenly so excited for their date.

Cosette’s laughter subdued as her eyes were back on Eponine. She saw her friend giggling as she typed on her phone. Cosette exchanged curious looks with Musichetta before turning back to Eponine. Feeling their gaze on her, Eponine looked up from her phone and found that her friends were staring at her with amused expression on their faces.

“Is that Jesse?” Musichetta started, giving her a cheeky smile.

Eponine turned into a deep shade of crimson at her question and quickly stuffed her phone into her bag. Her action was enough to answer Musichetta’s question.

“You really like him, do you?” 

Eponine simply smiled and nodded, “I do,” 

She felt like she was on cloud nine, but then the next question from Cosette brought her back to Earth.

“How did Enjolras take the news about you going out with Jesse?” Cosette inquired innocently, taking a bite of her toast. She was staring at Eponine curiously, but then her expression faltered when Eponine kept quiet and did not answer her question. Her eyes were on her hot chocolate as she refused to meet Cosette’s penetrating stare.

“You have not told Enjolras, haven’t you?” Cosette questioned again, and Eponine could not quite understand her tone. She sounded like she was amused by this situation, as if she already knew that Eponine would be too much of a coward to tell Enjolras about Jesse. Eponine did not like this, so she felt like she should defend herself from Cosette’s wrong accusation.

“Other than you guys and Eva, I haven’t told anybody,” Eponine started, her eyes darted from Cosette to Musichetta, “This is only our first date. Many things could go wrong, so I don’t want to make it a bigger deal that it really is. So, I hope you haven’t told anyone,”

To her surprise, she found Cosette and Musichetta exchanging a quick glance before turning back to her, looking as if they were two awkward children who were caught in their naughty acts by their parents. Eponine suddenly realized what this was all about.

“You have told Marius,” she pointed at Cosette, her gaze then landed at Musichetta, “And you have told Joly,”

“I don’t keep secrets from Marius, you know that!” Cosette tried to defend herself, only to be more wounded than before. Her anger and frustration towards her boyfriend came rushing in and were ruining her mood. No, she could not afford to think about Marius now. Shaking her head, she turned to Musichetta for support.

Musichetta however, did not even bother to defend herself as she replied brazenly, “You didn’t tell us that it’s a secret!”

Eponine glared at her, her face red and her nostrils flaring. It was a scary sight, so Musichetta cowered under her gaze before adding in a small voice, “And Joly does not keep secrets from Bossuet. And I might have brought this thing up to Bahorel when he came to visit me the other day,”

“Eva obviously has told Courfeyrac, but if you’re lucky, she might have reminded him to not tell Enjolras or Combeferre,” Cosette interrupted, smiling apologetically when Eponine stared at her in disbelief. Eponine opened and closed her mouth but nothing came out. She did not expect her friends to know about Jesse before she got to introduce him to them properly.

Figuring that since everything was out anyway, Cosette continued, “One more thing, I had lunch with Jehan yesterday and told him about Jesse. Since he had just moved in with Grantaire, I figure now Grantaire knows too.”

Eponine rubbed her temple, feeling like her plans were now in shambles. She had planned that if things went well with Jesse, she would bring him to meet her friends on their Friday night out and they would be able to get to know him properly. It was the perfect way to get Jesse into the group.

Well, that plan was ruined.

Then came the next problem. Enjolras. To be frank, she did not know how she was going to introduce Jesse to Enjolras. Eponine did not know how he would react but she had a hunch that things were going to get ugly.

“You don’t have to look so worried, Ep. This date with Jesse is going to go well. He likes you, and you like him.” Cosette chided, trying to comfort her best friend, “Just focus on your date tonight, okay? Forget about Enjolras for a moment.”

Eponine gave her a weak smile, not saying anything. 

Cosette patted Eponine’s hand, assuring her that everything was going to be okay. Then, she turned her head and scrutinized the café. Her gaze swept the place as her eyebrows furrowed, as if she was expecting something to happen.

And something happened alright. As Cosette’s gaze landed on the café’s door, the last person she thought Eponine should meet this moment walked in. Enjolras was with Grantaire and Jehan. Both Enjolras and Grantaire seemed to be in a serious conversation as Grantaire looked like he was so pissed off at his friend while Enjolras was simply exasperated. Jehan waved when he saw Cosette, poking Grantaire’s arm, signalling that they should join Cosette at their usual booth.

Cosette took a sharp breath and turned to her friends, who were oblivious of the people who had just walked into the room. Right now, Musichetta and Eponine were talking about Enjolras; their voices were loud as they seemed to be arguing about something.

“…I am not ready to tell him, don’t force me…!”

“… You have to tell him, he has the right to know…”

“… You obviously have never seen Enjolras mad…”

“… So what if he’s mad?! I still think Enjolras has the right to know!” Musichetta finally exclaimed as she slammed her palm on the table, twitching slightly at the pain. 

“I have the right to know what?” a voice suddenly interrupted and Musichetta’s head shot up, meeting Enjolras’ stern stare. He had his arms crossed against his chest, his eyebrow raised questioningly. Musichetta felt like her mouth had gone dry at the sight of Enjolras so she kept opening and closing her mouth like a fish, her brain trying hard to form words to answer Enjolras’ question. However, nothing came out.

Enjolras shrugged when he found that Musichetta was too dumbstruck to answer his question. Then, he took a seat next to Eponine while Grantaire and Jehan sat next to Cosette. There was an awkward silence floating in the air because no one knew what to talk about.

Enjolras tried to break the silence, so, again, he turned to Musichetta and asked, “I have the right to know what, Chetta?” His striking blue eyes bore into her, as if he was reading her mind. Musichetta kept swatting Eponine’s hand, a clear cry for help but Eponine did not say anything. Cosette rolled her eyes at her friends’ cowardice, so she stepped in to bring both of them out of this mess. 

“Eponine has a date tonight,” Cosette blatantly answered. There, wasn’t that easy?

The tension in the table was high, especially right now as Cosette and Enjolras stared at each other with so much hatred and hidden anger. Cosette felt the corner of her lips tugging upwards when she found the hurt in Enjolras’ eyes as he digested the news. Cosette’s gaze then landed on Eponine, who was shocked that she would simply break the news without any hesitation.

Everyone expected Enjolras to freak out or act all weird but much to their surprise, Enjolras simply cracked a weak smile as he called the waitress to their table. After ordering his food, he found that his friends were staring at him as if he had sprouted wings.

“What?” he asked, “I know. R told me yesterday,” 

Enjolras’ gaze met Grantaire’s who looked guilty as hell. He played with his finger and did not quite know what to say. When Grantaire stayed silent, Enjolras murmured, his tone icy and formal, “Congratulations Eponine, I heard he’s a great guy.”

If there was anything that Eponine found annoying about Enjolras, it was that sometimes, she could not read him. She was not able to read him as well as he could read her. Just when she thought he was going to react in one way, he would react in another completely different way which caught her off-guard. He was unpredictable, unreadable and unbreakable. When they were dating, she used to find this trait of him endearing and sexy, but right now, as she tried to be his friend, this trait was annoying and it was driving her crazy.

Her big brown eyes met Enjolras’ calm, striking blue ones, and Eponine could not quite fathom what was really happening. She had expected him to freak out about this matter which was why she did not tell him about her and Jesse in the first place. Eponine expected him to not be okay with this. Then, they would get into an argument about how they were broken up years ago and he had no rights over who she could date and could not date. This might be silly of her, but she had expected Enjolras to be jealous. 

In a way, she hoped that he would be jealous. She had no explanation for this though.

However, she did not see this coming. Enjolras was acting like this was nothing. He never really cared about someone else’s love life because he thought that there were other things that mattered. But then, Eponine thought she was not ‘someone else’ to Enjolras. She anticipated more than this nonchalant and completely uncaring Enjolras. This Enjolras seemed like he could not care less about her, and she could not shake off the feeling that she was never special to him at the first place. 

“I think we better get going,” Eponine spoke to Musichetta and Cosette without breaking her gaze at Enjolras. Her voice was steady and calm, doing a great job in hiding her pain and frustration. 

She should not feel bothered by his reaction. But as her eyes met his icy stare, she felt her heart clench and she actually had to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

She turned to her friends, who were joking around. It seemed like they were on another completely different universe.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us, R?” Cosette teased Grantaire, earning a snort from Jehan. 

The curly haired man simply scoffed as he answered, “I am not drunk enough to go out shopping with you, Cosette. I have learnt my lesson.”

“But you liked the shirt that you bought the last time we went shopping!” Cosette exclaimed defensively.

“Not so much after I learnt the price, babe. Not so much.”

“Alright, let’s go.” Eponine interrupted their moment. She looked sad as she did not even have the courage to even muster a fake smile right now. This did not go unnoticed by Grantaire, who turned and glared at Enjolras. If looks could do serious damage, the blonde lawyer would be on the floor right now, bruised and bleeding.

Eponine said goodbye to both Grantaire and Jehan, then made her way to the door with Musichetta and Cosette following her from behind. Then, she heard Enjolras said, “Have fun, Eponine.”

His tone was mocking her. His tone was playing her as a fool. His tone proved that he really did not care.

Eponine bit her lips and she looked down, cursing herself as a tear rolled down her rosy cheeks. 

It still surprised her that even after all this time; he could still hurt her with just a few simple words.

……………………………………………..

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” scolded Grantaire after Eponine, Cosette and Musichetta had left. Enjolras raised an eyebrow at Grantaire’s remark but then decided to ignore his friend as he sipped on his coffee.

“R, that’s not very nice!” Jehan whispered, but it was loud enough for Enjolras to hear. Grantaire ignored his boyfriend. He was so pissed-off that he did not care about anything that came out of his mouth. Jehan took his hand in his as an attempt to cool him down, but he knew that it was futile because Enjolras had just hurt Eponine who was Grantaire’s best friend, so Grantaire was definitely not going to let him off the hook easily.

“I fucking told you about Jesse so that you could finally get your shit together and stop playing games. If you want her back, this game that both of you are playing needs to stop and…”

“What gives you the impression that I want her back?” Enjolras remarked, rendering Grantaire speechless. The dark haired man scoffed as he glared at Enjolras.

“Still with your denial? Wow, you really are a jackass. Cosette was right. Eponine deserves much better than you,”

Enjolras’ fist clenched at Grantaire’s words and he wanted to do nothing but to punch that man right that moment. As it was, he did not want to cause a scene. Besides, Jehan would be by Grantaire’s side. That poet might be soft-spoken and kind, but Enjolras knew better than to mess with him.

“Are you saying that you’re really cool with this, Enjolras?” Jehan inquired kindly, his concerned gaze bore into Enjolras. 

Enjolras merely shrugged and nodded, hiding the stormy, uneasy feelings that were settling in the pit of his stomach.

“I am happy for her,” Enjolras said unconvincingly as his tone, which usually was confident and brave, was shaken and unsure.

Grantaire did not believe him but he knew that he could do nothing to change Enjolras’ mind. Rising from his seat, he turned to Jehan, “Let’s go Jehan. We’ll eat somewhere else. I am not going to stay with this pathetic mess of a man anymore,” He spat and pointed at Enjolras, emphasizing on the word ‘pathetic’.

“R, what the fuck is the matter with you?!” Jehan yelled, angry and in utter disbelief that Grantaire would say such things to Enjolras.

“You should go with him, Jehan. I’ll be fine,” Enjolras finally spoke. His eyes were fixed on Jehan as he was too mad to even look at Grantaire right now. He knew that if he looked at him, he would not be able to control himself from punching him.

Jehan’s glance turn from Grantaire to Enjolras and then back to Grantaire again, contemplating his choices.

Figuring that Enjolras probably needed some time alone, he shrugged as he got out of the booth.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he asked one last time.

“Yes, I’m okay,” Enjolras replied.

Enjolras tried to give Jehan a reassuring smile, but failed miserably. 

“It’s cool,” he finally uttered, “I am going to be okay,” 

It was a lie he did not have to tell.

……………………………………………….

Enjolras paced back and forth in his apartment, clenching and unclenching his fists as he did not know what to do with his hands. His instinct was to punch everything in his sight because he was seething with anger and jealousy. He sat down, but then stood up almost immediately as his mind would not let his body relax. His mind was reeling with images of Eponine and Jesse together, and it drove him crazy. Crazy to the point that he could not think of anything else.

He glanced at the piles of document on his table, sighing as he realized that he was supposed to settle some of those by tomorrow. He was supposed to be working right now, but instead, here he was, trying to calm himself down, trying to not be angry at something he had absolutely no right to be upset about. He growled as he pushed the documents off the table angrily, making a complete mess of his apartment. Enjolras scratched his head and then cupped his face with his hands to suppress his scream.

She is a single woman, attractive and beautiful. Of course someone is going to ask her out, idiot.

Do you really think that you will have another shot with her? You have got to be joking!

You have no right to be upset. She is not your girlfriend.

Don’t be a douche, Enjolras. She is moving on, so should you.

But he did not want to move on. He did not know whether he would ever have another shot with her but he did not like the thought of her with someone else. She was not his girlfriend and he knew that he could not hold her back. He had no right over her. He was not his.

She was his friend, and they were getting really good at being friends again. Enjolras wished that he could be supportive; he wished he could be a good friend who encouraged her relationship with Jesse. Jesse could make her happy again. Jesse could make her feel loved again. A good friend would be thrilled for her and he wanted to do that for her because she deserved it. However, everything that came out of his mouth were nothing but cold, dishonest words. 

He could not be happy for her. He did not like Jesse although he had never met him. Even the thought of him made him want to punch something. No, he did not care how amazing this guy was. He would never be good enough for his Eponine. No one would be good enough for Eponine. 

For God’s sake, she was his Eponine. 

And that thought alone made his feel like a complete douche. A possessive, jealous douche that did not deserve the amazing woman that was Eponine Thenardier. A douche could not have her, but did not want anyone else to get her too. 

He was selfish but he could not bring himself to care.

Enjolras ruffled his hair, groaning loudly because everything was driving him crazy. He looked around his apartment which used to be organized and spotless, was now a sore to his eyes. God, he needed to get out of here. He needed fresh air. It was already night, which meant he had been this messed up for hours.

As he made his way to the door, he walked past a mirror and was surprised to see his miserable reflection. His blonde curls which used to look glorious were now messy, his eyes which used to look calm were now bloodshot and dejected, and most of all, his face, which used to look composed and stern, was now puffy and red.

Grantaire was right. Enjolras was indeed a pathetic mess of a man.

……………………………………………………….

Enjolras strutted into the Musain café, hoping to get a cup of coffee before going back to his apartment. He had walked here from his place, and the walk helped him in clearing his mind a little bit. Perhaps tonight he could get some sleep and get rid of Eponine from his thoughts.

Unfortunately for Enjolras, as he stepped into the café, he found the two people that he definitely did not want to see now; Musichetta and Grantaire. They seemed to be in a deep conversation and they did not see him there. Sighing in relief, he spun around and hoped that he could get out of the café unseen.

However, right that moment, the door to the café opened and a beautiful woman stepped in. Every pair of eyes on the café turned to her, including Enjolras’. The woman cracked a nervous smile, blushing when she found that everyone was staring. Her blonde friend then joined her. It was Cosette. Enjolras felt his jaw drop when he realized who the gorgeous woman was.

It was Eponine.

Musichetta and Cosette had made it clear that they were going to find a dress that would make Eponine look like the most beautiful woman in the world and well, they succeeded. Enjolras had always found her beautiful, but right now, he was truly mesmerized. 

She was wearing a red dress which hugged her curve in the right places. Her hair was styled in an upswept hairdo, which showed her face perfectly. Enjolras gulped and blinked rapidly. Everything about this outfit drove him crazy. She was wearing red, and he loved her in red. Most of all, he could not believe the amount of love and lust he had for her right now.

Her dark brown tendrils floated softly down her neck before she tugged it behind her ears. Enjolras then remembered how he used to kiss her there and he would smirk when he heard her gasp as he sucked on the sensitive spot below her earlobe. Her off the shoulder cocktail dress that she was wearing was not too tight, but as it fit her frame perfectly, the dress managed to draw attention to her breast. Oh, Enjolras did not even want to remember how he used to drive her crazy when he paid attention to those. In a way, as he stared, he could still feel the way her nails scratched his back while she mewled in pleasure, a sound that was so beautiful to Enjolras that not even the greatest symphony could beat.

He could not help but to wonder, did he still have that effect on her like she had this effect on him?

Enjolras glanced around. Every man in the bar was looking at her, and their gazes were predatory. It took Enjolras everything he had to not stride across the room to wrap her in his coat. No was allowed to see this woman he considered his. No one.

But this was crazy. She was not his. 

He needed to actively remind himself of that painful truth.

And he could not take it any longer. He sauntered to the door, letting his coat wrap his body, hoping that both Eponine and Cosette did not realize that he was there.

As it was, today, he felt like he had luck that could match Bossuet’s. He tried to squeeze through the crowd, but then somehow he found himself right face to face with Eponine. Her eyes widened in shock as she found him in front of her, and just like him, she was speechless. She clearly did not expect him to be here. And he clearly did not expect to stand face to face with her.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone,” Cosette muttered before leaving. Enjolras turned to see her, and was annoyed when he found that she was smirking proudly, satisfied.

Enjolras’ gaze darted back to Eponine, who was biting her lip as she crossed her arms against her chest, hugging her body. As if she was protecting herself from him.

“Hi,” he finally spoke. 

“Hi,”

There was awkward silence hanging in the air between them, and they were not quite sure of how to break it. 

Enjolras felt like he would never find a word to say to Eponine. What could he say? Every word that he knew flew out of the window at the sight of her, and his vocabulary shrunk to a sad, monosyllable ‘hi’.

There was no way to break this silence, so, saving both of them from being in an awkward conversation, Enjolras walked towards the door wordlessly, leaving Eponine to stand frozen at her spot.

“Goodbye, Eponine,” he whispered as he left.

Eponine’s gaze followed him. Her eyes, again, watered as she watched him leave. Perhaps he really did not care. She was utterly hurt, but she could not let her friends see her sad. So, taking a deep breath, she forced herself to look happy and made her way to Cosette, Marius and Musichetta at their usual table.

She was not supposed to feel this bothered by Enjolras. She was going to go on a date with an amazing man who would not treat her like Enjolras did. She was moving on, and moving on should not be this hard.

Against her better judgment, Eponine turned her head to the door as a part of her wished that Enjolras was there again. But the door remained closed, and she knew that he was coming back for her. He had let her go. He no longer cared.

It was the bitter truth she had to swallow.

“Goodbye, Enjolras,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am so sorry that this chapter was late but I had serious difficulties with this one. I tried my best to write a jealous Enjolras (God, this is not easy) and I hope I did not let you down. Also, I apologize if there are any grammar mistakes. It’s already late here in Malaysia, and I am tired and hungry arghhh.  
> Anyway, please tell me what you think! Reviews are always appreciated and thank you so, so, so much for reading! :D


	13. The One with Her Moving On

Chapter 12 - The One with Her Moving On.

"You haven't said much tonight. Are you okay?" a voice interrupted Eponine's thoughts, and she looked up, finding Jesse watching her with concerned expression on his face, wondering whether she was not feeling well. Eponine simply smiled half-heartedly. She did not want him to worry about her. After all, he had done everything he possibly could to make this date perfect and memorable. The only one that made this date less than perfect was her, who right now, was a completely unreachable, troubled mess.

Thinking about your ex while being on a date with another man was a whole new level of fucked up. The truth was, right now, Eponine could not be more pissed off at herself. Jesse was an amazing man, who wanted to make her happy but she kept thinking about Enjolras, who made her feel like a worthless piece of shit this morning.

Why did she keep running back to the past? Why must she make the same mistake twice?

She was so invested in her thoughts about Enjolras that she did not even remember what she did with Jesse tonight. She recalled pretending that she was listening when he was talking. She remembered nodding politely, agreeing with whatever he said although she had no idea what he was talking about.

Eponine turned to Jesse, and a rush of guilt washed her for she thought that she had disappointed this man for being emotionally unavailable.

And Jesse, of course, was understanding and kind. Somehow, he had a feeling that her head was not in their date tonight, so he offered to walk her back to her apartment even though it was still early. He was silent on their way to her place as he let her thoughts wander. He did not want to disturb her. However, the more distressed she appeared, the more he could not contain his worry, so he had to ask.

Eponine just did not know the answer to his question. Was she okay?

"I am okay, Jesse," she lied unconvincingly. Jesse nodded and for a while, he seemed to want to let this matter go, but then he shrugged and said, "No, you're not. Something is bothering you. Ep, you can talk to me…"

"Jesse, I don't want to bother you with my problems," Eponine interrupted and he did not get to finish his sentence. Much to Eponine's dismay, her words came out harsher than intended. She saw the hurt in Jesse's eyes, before he looked away and kept walking in silence, leaving the guilt-ridden Eponine frozen at her spot.

God, he was just trying to help and this was how she repaid him? No, she shook her head and fastened her pace to keep up with Jesse, who was ahead of her. She lightly touched his arm, and he stopped at his tracks, turning to her with confused, yet curious expression on his face.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to be rude." Eponine apologized, and suddenly feared that Jesse would dismiss her like Enjolras did, like she was a nuisance. However, once she had started apologizing, she could not stop explaining herself, "I just have a lot on my mind right now and I don't want you to worry about me just because I am sad."

"Why are you sad, Eponine?"

"It's… it's…" Eponine stuttered, "It's complicated,"

She then rubbed the back of her neck, trying to relieve the stress that was building inside her as she added, "And it's stupid. My problems are stupid,"

Jesse was bothered at her remark, but when it seemed like she did not want to share with him her problems, he gave up and sighed, "Well, I won't force you into doing anything that you don't want to do, but if you ever want to talk about it, I am listening," Jesse murmured, his voice soft and kind, "I just wish that I can do something to make you happy."

"Why?" Eponine asked, her brown eyes met his grey ones and he smiled. Then, he confessed, "Because I like you, that's why."

Eponine felt blush creeping in her cheeks as she suddenly felt like she was a thirteen year old on her first date with a boy she really liked. She did not know what to reply as all words escaped her and her vocabulary shrank into a pathetic, monosyllable, "Oh"

Jesse did not seem to be offended when she did not say that she liked him too; rather, he looked amused at her blank expression. She heard him murmur, "It's okay, I understand," quietly under his breath, and she wanted nothing more than to tell him that he thought wrong. She liked him too, and this feeling frightened her. The last time she let a man into her life, she got hurt, she was as vulnerable as a baby. She did not know whether she was ready for it. She also was not certain whether she should let Jesse in while she still had unresolved feelings towards Enjolras.

Everything was so messed up.

"You should move on, Eponine. You and Enjolras are over," Cosette's voice rang in her head, tormenting her, pushing her to make a decision. She took a deep breath, and looked up at Jesse. He was staring at her, probably wondering about the battle that she had within herself. Eponine wished she could tell him what he wanted to hear, that she returned his feelings for her, but somehow the words would not come out. She was never good in expressing her feelings in words.

So, without saying anything, she took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers and started walking, pulling Jesse with her. He seemed surprised at her sudden affectionate gesture but as she looked into his eyes, he understood, so he smiled and walked alongside her, keeping her company as they made their way to her apartment under the sky lit by the moon and the twinkling stars.

"You know, if there is something that I've learnt throughout my life is that life is too short to be sad," Jesse started, trying to cheer her up. Eponine looked at him, but his gaze was not on her, but at the sky instead, "I learnt that we should do anything to make ourselves happy. Take risks, jump in. Forget about everything, or everyone that bring you down and will not help you get back up. If you love someone, 'Ponine, tell them. If you want something, grab it. Don't be afraid, because life is too brief for that bullshit."

Eponine let out a chuckle as she replied, "My my, aren't you an optimist."

And this made us two very different people, she could not help but to add in her mind.

"Well, I have to, or I will never be able to live with myself," Jesse replied. He sighed before he continued, "Years ago, I've lost someone who was really important to me. Her name was Marissa. She was… what people call, 'the love of my life'. Yet, I was young, and stupid, so I took her for granted. She loved me, but I was too afraid to tell her that I love her too. I was too scared to tell her that she meant the world to me," Jesse said, his voice broke and his eyes were glassy with tears.

"Being with her was the best moment in my life. She made me the happiest man on earth even though our time together was short. My biggest regret is that she died not knowing how much I loved her. Heck, she probably did not know how much she meant to me."

His grip in her hand tightened as he tried to keep his composure. Jesse took a deep breath and turned to Eponine, "I was sad for a long time, until one day I realized that she was gone, and she was never going to come back. My fear kept me from telling her how much she had affected my life and I am always going to regret it. But I know that I should not let my regrets take over me. I have to move on."

"Why are you telling me this, Jesse?"

"Because I can sense that your fear and sadness involves a person, a very special person I am not mistaken,"

Eponine froze, and Jesse knew right away that he was right, "We all have one person who affected our life like no one else did, and that's okay. Just don't let your fear and sadness bring you down, and don't let that person do that to you."

He was right, Eponine thought. It's quite embarrassing, really. She basically ruined his plans for their date tonight but here he was, trying to comfort her while other men would just run in the opposite direction and never look back.

"Jesse, you're too nice to me. I screwed up our date tonight. Why are you not mad at me?"

"It's just one date, there's going to be another one." Jesse replied shortly, but then his eyes widened as he realized what he just said, "I-I mean, if you… if you want, I-I mean, I d-don't want you to think that…"

"Shh," Eponine put her forefinger on his lips, "Stop. I would love to go out with you again."

Jesse beamed, and Eponine felt her heart flutter. She cleared her throat, looking down at her feet as she asked the next question.

"You still miss her? Marissa, I mean,"

"Every single day," Jesse replied honestly, "She changed my life in so many ways. In a way, she shaped me into the man I am today, so there will not be a day that I cease to remember her. Yet, she would want me to move on. It's the right thing to do."

"You're amazing, Jesse," Eponine praised , "And I think you should know that if she could see you now, she would be really proud."

"I hope so." Jesse's head turned to her, and Eponine smiled. Her smile was sincere as his words comforted and touched her in so many ways.

"Now, there's that beautiful smile I've been dying to see all night," he said cheekily and Eponine laughed, swatting his arm.

"Shut up," she teased, and he grinned, happy that he had made her laugh.

They no longer walked in silence, as Jesse entertained Eponine by telling her the stories of his childhood, about his close-knit family and friends. Eponine, in return, told him about her friends, the Amis and their various and colourful personalities. She did not tell him about Enjolras though, as she was not sure whether he would be comfortable knowing that she was still close to her ex.  
And just like that, the thought of Enjolras came back into her mind, affecting her mood, bringing her back to earth. Why couldn't he leave her alone?

"Oh, he left you alone, alright" a voice inside her remarked wickedly, and she felt a heavy tug in her heart. Enjolras was not at fault here. She was the one who was yet to let him go.

Well, she should.

Jesse suddenly stopped in his tracks. Eponine looked up, and realized that they're already in front of her apartment. Her hand was still entwined with his. Her gaze landed on Jesse, and she realized that there were so many things that she wanted to tell him but no words escaped her lips.

"Thank you for tonight, Jesse."

"You're welcome," Jesse replied as he gazed into her eyes. Suddenly, both of them did not know what to do, both of them enjoyed each other's company so much that they did not want to part.

"Well, good night, Eponine. I'll call you later?" Jesse asked, releasing her hand. Eponine nodded, already missing the warmth of his hand. Jesse cleared his throat, gave her one last smile and started to walk away.

As he went, his words earlier rang in her ears and she felt every single word. She had been afraid for a long time. After she broke up with Enjolras, everything that she had ever felt was fear. She was afraid to let go, she was afraid to date again, she was afraid to make up her mind about her feelings for him. In a way, she now knew that that's the reason why she was so fucked up. She was so afraid to love, that she was beginning to lose herself.

Now that the reason was clear as day, Eponine began to ponder. Was she going to continue being like this? Or was she going to take a leap and see who's going to catch her?

Was she going to keep on hanging on to the past, hoping to get back what she had lost? Or was she going to drop everything that kept her to her past and start chasing the future?

Then, as if her body had made the decision for her, she yelled Jesse's name and started running towards him. Jesse was already quite far from her, but when he heard her call, he turned.

Eponine was panting by the time she reached him. Jesse seemed confused and there were questions in his eyes.

What's going on?

She did not want to be afraid anymore, that's what's going on.

So, as the answer to his question, Eponine closed the distance between them, her hand slithered behind his neck as she moved closer to him, sealing their lips in a sweet, yet passionate kiss. Jesse stilled, completely caught off-guard by her kiss, but then he relaxed almost immediately, and his right hand snaked to her back while the other was buried in her tresses.

Their kiss grew more fervent, more passionate and Jesse pressed his body against hers, leaving no gap between them. Eponine sighed contently, feeling her body clench and her feet turning into jelly as she had never been so loved and admired as she was now. He breathed her in, deepening the kiss and she shivered at the sheer intensity of it all. And now, there was no one that she wanted more than this man right in front of her.

It was weird being in another man's arms. It felt different but Eponine could not bring herself to care. She knew that one way or another, this was what she had to do if she were to find happiness. So she chose to let Jesse in. She would give him a shot and hoped that he did not mess up. And if by choosing Jesse could help getting rid of Enjolras from her mind, she knew that she had made the right choice.

Besides, based on his attitude this morning, it was clear that Enjolras had let go of her. It's time for her to do the same.

_____________

A week later…

"Enjolras, here's the document that you wanted to see and I think… are you okay?" Combeferre sauntered into Enjolras' office while reading the document, but then stopped when he looked up and found Enjolras rubbing his temple. He did not look well.

Enjolras did not answer his question but he simply nodded, a sign that he was dealing with it.

"Alright, thanks Ferre," he held out his hand, waiting for his friend to give him the document. Combeferre stayed still, watching him, concerned. Enjolras sighed exasperatedly. No, not this again. Seriously, his friend should stop worrying about him. He was a big boy. He certainly knew how to deal with his problems and he did not need a bunch of babysitters watching over him all the time.

Combeferre seemed to read his mind, so wordlessly, he handed the document to him and said, "Enjolras, I know you're hurting."

"I am perfectly fine. If you'll excuse me, I need to work." Enjolras snapped, glaring at his best friend who did not even budge, but instead, staring at him, his expression pensive and unreadable, irritating Enjolras.

"You're burying yourself in your work again, and it's a cry for help. You barely get any sleep this week. You're the first to arrive at the office in the morning and the last to come out. You don't eat, you drink and you never talk to any of us anymore. How is that perfectly fine?"

"You should not worry yourself about me," Enjolras retorted, "I know what I'm doing, I want to do my job and it's best if you leave me alone."

"Enjolras, listen to me, I…"

"No, you listen to me!" Enjolras slammed the table as he stood up, making his way to his friend. "Which part of "leave me alone" escapes your understanding? I don't need your help, I don't need anybody's help! What I want is everyone to stop treating me like a child."

Enjolras broke his gaze on Combeferre as he turned around, running his fingers through his hair, "I am a mess, I know, but I don't appreciate you guys keep butting in! I am not you, Ferre. I don't have my life put perfectly together! I know I should be more like you, like what we used to be but I am a dumbass for letting a woman get into my life and mess with my head. I get that. You never do that, and you're perfectly fine. I made a mistake, and now, I am dealing with the consequences. It's hard enough for me and all of you are making everything worse!"

"Enjolras, we're your friends. We're only trying to help!"

"WELL DON'T! I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?" Enjolras snapped, yelling at Combeferre. Combeferre blinked, still surprised that his own best friend would raise his voice at him like that. Enjolras was surprised too, but then resigned, scratching his head.

"I'm sorry. It's just… never mind."

He then sat down at his chair, "So, just leave me alone, Ferre. Close the door when you're out." Enjolras dismissed him completely and returned to his computer. Combeferre did not say anything, nor did he make any more effort to comfort his friend. So, he did what his friend wanted him to do. He walked out.

Combeferre closed the door behind him. He leaned against it and took a deep breath, trying to keep himself together. The truth was, he felt like a bigger mess than Enjolras, but unlike Enjolras, he had years of experience in hiding his feelings. At least Enjolras found out about Jesse from Grantaire. He found out about Jesse from Eponine herself, and he had to listen to her talking about this new beau in her life while she was oblivious of the fact that every word that came out of her lips hurt him like a dagger.

Enjolras was wrong about him. He did not have his life perfectly planned. He did not even know how to handle with his feelings. He too, was a dumbass for letting a woman, heck, the same woman, came into his life and mess with his head. Just like his friend, he too, was dealing with the consequences.

And somehow, for him, it hurt even more.

_____________________

It was already late at night, and everyone in his office was probably already at home with their family, sleeping contently. However, Enjolras' office was still occupied, and in it was the man himself, typing feverishly on his computer. He stopped for a while, and then took a gulp of his coffee. His eyes bloodshot, and he was tired but he did not want to sleep. To sleep meant that he would dream of her. To sleep meant that he would wake up wishing that she was by his side.

He was still in love with Eponine, he knew. He knew it for a while now, and fuck, he was not okay with her dating another man. It was selfish of him but he wished that her first date would not go well. He wished that everything would go back to the way it was, but he could not always get what he wanted, could he? From what he heard, she's happier now, happier than she had ever been and now, he feared that this Jesse guy would stay in her life, winning her heart, and make her his.

If that happened, what would become of him? What should he do then?

He opened his desk's drawer, taking out a black velvet box. He opened it, and in that was ring that he bought years ago, when he planned to propose to her. He still kept the ring. He refused to throw it away.

He wondered what would happen if she did not find the ring. She would not freak out, and they would not have the fight which caused him to run to the bar and cheat on her. If it wasn't for the ring, they might still be together.

"You little shit," Enjolras cursed under his breath, his grip on the box tightened.

Yet, this little piece of shit was the one reminding him that he had planned to propose to her years ago, the time when he realized that she was the one for him. He wanted to marry her, have kids and grow old together. She made him the happiest man on earth, and he wanted nothing more than to make her feel the same. He dreamed of spending the rest of his life with her, and back then, he was so close to making it come true.

Now, the dream will remain a dream.

If he was being honest, Grantaire's advice was still in his mind. Perhaps he should get his shit together and stop sulking. Perhaps he should stand up and fight for her. Perhaps he should get up and snatch the love of his life back from Jesse.

But he could not help but to feel that everything was too late for him. It was too late for him, was it not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! How are you guys? Again, I apologize for this late update. This story is getting more and more intense and sometimes I struggle to put everything together. But I will not give up. I will never give up.
> 
> Anyway, what do you think? Do you like Jesse? What do you think of Enjolras' stubbornness when it comes to Eponine?
> 
> Thank you so, so much for reading! I'll see you in the next chapter xx!


	14. The One with Scares and Decisions

It was Courfeyrac's day off (which he severely needed because Enjolras was being a bossy jackass again) and now, he was headed to Musain to grab a cup of coffee before making his way to Eva's school. It had been a while since he last saw her so he was excited to finally meet her again. He took out his phone from his jeans pocket and sent Eva a text, telling her that he would be there in thirty minutes. His lips then curved into a smile when Eva replied almost immediately, saying that she could not wait to meet him.

She could not wait to meet him.

As much as he tried, Courfeyrac could not deny that his heart fluttered and his world seemed brighter after that one simple text.

So, he quickened his steps to Musain. The faster he could get to Eva, the better.

Courfeyrac knew that when it came to Eva, he was in deep trouble. He would be lying if he said that he did not have feelings for her, and he would also be an idiot if he denied that his feelings for her did not scare the crap out of him. Yet, she made him happier than he had ever been his life, and she was not even his girlfriend.

She was not his girlfriend. She was not his. And somehow, that thought bothered him a little bit, and he feared that someone else might snatch her away from him. It was wrong for him to be possessive and jealous, but he was used to the thought that she was his just like he was hers.

Also, what would his life be without her?

It was not supposed to be like this. He admitted that when he first laid eyes on her, all that he wanted to do was to get into her pants. She was hot, sexy and endearing, basically everything that Courfeyrac liked in a woman. However, things took an unexpected turn when their relationship got deeper than just a one night stand. She was not unlike other women he had been with. She, somehow, was immune to his charm and this brought his plans to shambles.

It was unlike Courfeyrac to just dive in and not think deeply about the consequences. It drove him crazy when she rejected his advances over and over again. It annoyed him to hell and beyond when he could not read Eva as well as he could read other people. She intrigued him, so he became her friend. Befriend, charm and bed. At least, that was his initial plan with her, but again, everything would not fall into place when it came to her.

She was his friend, and after all those times spent with her, he got to see the sweeter, softer side of her that she rarely showed other people. He learnt that although she enjoyed active hobbies like martial arts training and archery, she also loved spending her time indoors, doing simpler activities like baking and painting. He learnt that she had wanted to be a teacher ever since she was a little kid, and now she was at the top of her life because she had achieved her life-long dream. She cared about her students and she would do everything she needed to do so that she could see them achieve success. Courfeyrac once made fun of her for saying this because since her students were kindergarteners, she should take things more lightly and not put a lot of pressure on herself while teaching them. She agreed with him, but it was in her nature to put 100% in everything she did, so it was hard for her to take things lightly.

Eva Hunter was easily the most amazing woman Courfeyrac had ever knew, and it alarmed him when he realized that he might had started to see her as more than just a friend. Heck, he wanted more than just being her friend.

Everything in him told him to stop playing around and remember the reason why he befriended her at the first place, yet Courfeyrac refused to carry out his initial plan. He did not want to hurt her. He did not want to push her away. He wanted her to stay. He wanted to protect her from the ugliness that was in the world.

He wanted to be with her, and only her.

But he was not going to push her into doing anything that she did not want to do. Heck, for all he knew, she probably did not feel the same thing. Perhaps for her, he was only a friend and would always be a friend.

Ignoring the sting of that thought, he pushed the door and walked into Musain. His eyes immediately caught Marius and Cosette who were at their usual booth, so he made his way towards them to say hi. He then regretted his decision when he saw Cosette's solemn face and Marius' exasperated expression, and he knew right away that the couple was in the middle of a fight.

The last thing he needed was to get sucked into their argument and was forced to take sides.

However, it was too late as they both saw him. Cosette forced a smile and Marius seemed to be relieved to see him. Sighing, Courfeyrac knew that he had no other choice but to join them, so he texted Eva again, saying that he would probably be late.

"Hey, are you guys okay?" he asked straight-forwardly, "You guys seem a little tense."

As the answer to his question, Marius simply scoffed and assured him that he was doing fine. However, from the look in Cosette's eyes and her clenched teeth, Courfeyrac could tell that the couple sitting across him was far from fine. Cosette was really pissed off at Marius. He wondered why.

"What are you doing here, Courf? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Marius questioned. His smile was kind but somehow a little bit strained, as if he had not smiled for weeks.

"It's my day off," Courfeyrac answered, putting his phone on the table, feeling a little bit disappointed when there was not any text from Eva, "I'm only here to grab a cup of coffee, and then I'm off to see Eva."

If Cosette looked angry before, the mention of Eva's name by Courfeyrac made her furious. Courfeyrac did not realize this, so when neither Marius nor Cosette said anything, he stood up and remarked, "I think I better go now. I don't want to be late."

He suddenly felt a small, yet firm hand yanked him back to his seat. Her grip was not strong, but the sudden force caused a little pain. He winced and glared at Cosette as he exclaimed, "What the hell?!"

"Eva? Are you serious, Courf?" she arched an eyebrow, looking at Courfeyrac in disbelief. Courfeyrac was still oblivious about what's happening, so he turned to Marius for help. Marius seemed to be just as confused, so Courfeyrac darted his gaze back to Cosette.

"What is wrong with Eva?" he asked innocently.

"There is nothing wrong with Eva," Cosette answered, anger was evident in her voice "The problem is you."

Courfeyrac's eyes widened at her honest remark, his jaw dropped slightly.

"What is wrong with me?"

Cosette sighed, frustrated. She rubbed her forehead, as if she was suffering from a massive headache. After a while, she finally spoke, "You guys keep screwing things up with my friends, and I am always the one who ends up cleaning your messes. I am always the one who suffers the consequences. Seriously, what is up with your friends? Why do they always have to mess with my friends?"

The question was directed to Marius who was caught completely off-guard. He exchanged glance with Courfeyrac who opened his mouth and started, "Cosette, I…"

"Oh shut up," Cosette interrupted, her tone got more vicious, "I have set you up with my friends and you slept with all of them and never bothered to call them back. Do you know who suffered from your actions? Me! I bet you don't even remember the names of my friends, so let me refresh your memories!"

"Demi, Laila, Charlotte, Isabelle, Emma, Christine, Julie, Julie's twin sister, Julia, Maria, Olivia, Robin, and the list goes on! Oh Courf, you might wonder why I am telling you this. Well, those are the names of my friends who cut off all connections with me after you slept with them. They figured that since you were a complete jackass to them, then I must be the same. Do you know how lonely it gets at work when you have no friends? It's hard enough for me to make new friends, but now I have Eva. And you cannot even let me have Eva!"

Courfeyrac rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little bit guilty. He definitely did not know that Cosette had to pay the price for his actions and he wondered why she did not confide him about this matter in the first place.

Now, she had the wrong idea about him and Eva. He wanted to tell her that Eva was not like any other woman. She was special to him, and he would be damned if he ever hurt her. Courfeyrac would do anything to make her happy and he would be crushed if she ever let him go and slipped away. By this time, Courfeyrac knew that he had fallen in love with her and it scared him. The last thing he needed now was to have his own friend doubting him. He too, was conflicted. He too, was confused. He too, was hurt when he remembered that Eva did not feel the same way as he did.

"Cosette, I…" he opened his mouth to speak but Cosette held out her palm, signalling him that she was not finished.

"Not just you, Courf!" Cosette interrupted, and she turned to Marius, "Your friends are all the same! Bahorel asked out Amy only to find that she's too 'boring and mellow' for him. I then set Grantaire with Harry and Jehan with Andrew, only to find that they were only using them to make each other jealous. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that they finally realized their feelings for each other but both Harry and Andrew had not talked to me ever since, and they used to be really good friends of mine. Even Ferre, whom I thought I could trust, messed things up with Sarah and I lose another friend, again! Can you even imagine how frustrating this is?"

Marius blinked. He did not know what to say, but he nodded as he understood his girlfriend's frustration. He was busy with work nowadays, and Cosette needed all the friends she could get. He took her hand in his, attempting to cool her down. It calmed her a little bit, before she huffed and added, "Don't let me get started on Enjolras and Eponine."

"Well, technically, Eponine is our friend first before she's yours." Courfeyrac said cheekily, a grin formed on his face as he tried to lighten the mood. However, he faltered and cowered under Cosette's intense stare.

"Cosette, babe, things happen. Sometimes you go on a date and things just don't work out," Marius murmured softly, defending his friends. Courfeyrac was so glad that Marius took his side. He felt like giving him a hug right now.

"I know, Marius. I don't mind if they want to go on dates but they need to stop screwing with my friends!" Cosette exclaimed angrily, "I am just tired of cleaning their messes, that's all."

"Actually, Cosette, you never clean up anything. In my case, you made everything worse," a voice interrupted them and they all looked up to find the source of the voice. They found Enjolras and Combeferre by their table, and judging by the angry look on Enjolras' face, he knew that they were there long enough to listen to Cosette's rants.

Marius said hi to both Enjolras and Combeferre before his phone rang. He picked it up, and his expression faltered as he turned to Cosette. He looked like he was afraid of disappointing her, and Courfeyrac suddenly realized how tired Marius seemed lately.

Marius then hung up his phone, putting it in his pocket as he reached his briefcase and stood up, adjusting his blazer. Cosette's gaze followed him questioningly, so he explained, "That was my office. I need to go to work."

"But you just got here! You haven't even had your lunch yet!" Cosette replied sadly. It was clear that she was disappointed, and it hurt Marius to see that.

"I know, I'm sorry," he said. His phone then rang again, and Cosette looked away.

"You should take that." She dismissed him completely. Her expression remained stony when he kissed her on her cheek. Enjolras, Combeferre and Courfeyrac glanced at each other. This was new. They had never seen Cosette so upset with Marius before.

After Marius had left, the waitress came with his and Cosette's food. She did not eat as her appetite was lost. Then, she looked up and found that Enjolras, Combeferre and Courfeyrac were watching her, so she asked, "What?"

"Nothing," they answered in unison. Cosette huffed. She knew that they felt sorry for her and although she was touched, she also hated it because it made her feel weak. So, she decided to change the topic.

"Has Eponine told you guys that Gavroche is coming to town this weekend?" she asked, and was glad that she had chosen the right topic. Courfeyrac grinned at the news as it had been a while since he saw Gavroche. Cosette smiled fondly, "Yes, he's coming for your birthday Courf, which reminds me that you haven't told me what you want for your birthday. And tell me how you would like your birthday cake; I want to bake it,"

Just like that, the argument that they had about Eva earlier was forgotten.

"The party is at your place, I suppose?" Courfeyrac asked, sounding as excited as a child getting a candy. Cosette was the best in organizing parties, so he had no doubt that his birthday this year was going to be fun. 

"Where else would it be?"

Courfeyrac laughed, and then they started discussing about the party. Suddenly, Courfeyrac asked, "Is everyone going to be there?"

"Yes. Oh, and Eponine is going to bring Jesse to introduce him to all of us, so, I need all of you to be in your best behaviour, especially you," she turned to Enjolras, whose expression turned rigid at the mention of Jesse's name.

"He's going to be there?" Enjolras repeated and he sounded annoyed. Eponine had only started dating this guy two months ago and now she's bringing him to their group's activities and introducing him to her brother?

It took him more than two months to convince Eponine to let him meet Gavroche, and it hurt him thinking that this Jesse might mean more to her than he ever was.

Cosette was able to read his expression, so she asked, "Are you okay, Enjolras?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know," Cosette answered, "But I hope you're okay. Really, I do," she added when Enjolras huffed disbelievingly. Cosette shook her head. Alright, perhaps she and Enjolras were not on their best terms, but whatever happened, he was still her friend and she would be lying if she said that she did not care about him at all.

"Look, I know that I have said a lot of mean things to you, but it was only because I was too mad at you for what you did to Eponine, who is like my sister. But you should know that I want happiness for both of you and for you to get that is by moving on. I know that she still loves you and you love her too, but your relationship is toxic, and you will only end up destroying each other. Both of you are over, and it will stay over."

The finality in her tone was clear and her expression was serious. Combeferre and Courfeyrac looked at each other, quite surprised that Cosette and Enjolras could finally be under one roof and did not argue. Enjolras was quiet when Cosette was talking. His expression was unreadable, and he seemed to be deep in thought.

Then, he spoke, "You're wrong if you think that I am going to give up on Eponine."

"You're not?"

"You're not?!" exclaimed Combeferre and Courfeyrac in unison, surprised by the sudden revelation.

"No," Cosette's expression changed, "Enjolras, no! I cannot let you do that to her!"

"And who the hell are you tell me what to do and what not to do? Who are you tell me what is best for us? You barely looked at me ever since Eponine and I broke up. You hardly talked to me even before that. So don't you dare talk to me as if you know everything about me! You know nothing about me, and you definitely know nothing about what is best for me and Eponine."

Cosette gritted her teeth, furious and annoyed, "If you want to get to Eponine, you're going to have to go through me first. I am not going to make things easy for you."

Enjolras smirked, "Don't you have better things to do, Cosette? For instance, fixing your own relationship with Marius instead of meddling with other people's business?"

"Enjolras!" Combeferre called in disbelief, alarmed that Enjolras had brought up Marius when Cosette was clearly already so distressed because of him.

"You know who I think you are, Cosette? I think you're one mean, hypocritical, lonely bitch who does not know what to do with her spare time so she takes it all out on her friends, claiming that she is doing all that to make them happy but actually, she does it because she's bored…"

"Enjolras!" It was Courfeyrac's turn to call his name, his eyes widened in disbelief because he never thought that Enjolras would say such things to Cosette.

"… and I am sick and tired of you playing God to all of us. You're not better than any of us. You know nothing about what we want and what we need. You want things to go your way and you cannot give a damn about our happiness. So stop playing this innocent, sweet girl who claims to have the best intentions because I can see right through you, and I think you're selfish and a hypocrite."

"ENJOLRAS!" Combeferre finally raised his voice and Enjolras stopped. He turned to Combeferre, who furrowed his eyebrows, staring at him, furious. His gaze then darted back to Cosette, who had tears in her eyes, instantly making him feel extremely guilty. Alright, he definitely did not mean everything he just said.

He got carried away.

"Cosette, I'm sorry," Enjolras started, but then Cosette grabbed her bag and said, "Don't bother."

She left without saying goodbye, leaving the guilt-ridden Enjolras with Combeferre and Courfeyrac, who were still surprised at his rude comments to Cosette.

"What the hell was that, Enjolras? You owe her an apology!" Combeferre hissed. He cared about his friend, but this was too much. He knew that Enjolras had a lot going on but it was not an excuse for him to be rude to Cosette.

"I know, I know," Enjolras mumbled, then stood and like Cosette, walked out of the café without saying anything further.

Combeferre sighed, shaking his head, clearly tired of his friends' drama. Courfeyrac simply sat in silence, before he remembered that he had to see Eva.

"I need to go now," he said shortly, but then Combeferre grabbed his arm and yanked him back to his chair.

"What?!" Courfeyrac asked angrily.

"What are you doing with Eva?" Combeferre questioned, his expression serious and quite frankly, a little bit pissed off.

"Oh for God's sake Ferre…"

"I am serious, Courfeyrac. Cosette was right. Eva is a great girl and we all happen to enjoy her company. The last thing we want is for you to hurt her and drive her away. I know how you feel about her, Courf, and I also know that this scares you. I don't know what you're going to do, but unless you plan to take things seriously, I think you should stay away from her."

"You guys have such low opinions on me, huh?" Courfeyrac replied, hurt that his friends did not believe him and thought he would do such things to Eva.

"That is not what I mean…"

"No, that is exactly what you mean," Courfeyrac interrupted. He was starting to get angry, "You know what? Screw you. You cannot tell me what to do when you don't even understand me or what I feel about Eva. Most of all, you cannot tell me what to do when you yourself don't even have the guts to go after the girl that you love,"

His comment shut Combeferre up as he stared at his friend in disbelief. Courfeyrac then rose from his seat, and glanced at Combeferre, saying, "You're wrong about me, Ferre"

He turned to get out of the café when he heard Combeferre said, "If you really love her, never let her go, or you'll be sorry when she finds someone who is not afraid to tell her how he really feels about her."

Combeferre sounds sad and dejected, and Courfeyrac's first instinct was to turn around and comfort him. But, as it was, Combeferre's words caused him to be even more afraid as he realized that his feelings for Eva might be deeper than he originally thought.

Courfeyrac then walked out of the café, feeling more messed up than ever.

…..

Eva was still teaching when Courfeyrac got there. She saw him standing by the window, watching her, so she beamed and waved at him. Her students turned and saw Courfeyrac smiling at Eva, which caused them to raise questions which Eva did not know how to answer. Therefore, she opened the door and invited Courfeyrac in, introducing him to her students.

"Everyone, say hello to Mr. C!" she said, and her students murmured hellos, some smiled, some waved. Courfeyrac could not help but to smile.

"Why don't you take a seat? I still have ten minutes left before the break. I'm sure they won't mind if you join them," Eva whispered, "Do you mind if Mr. C joins us, class?" she asked her students, who cheered and she laughed at their response as she showed Courfeyrac an empty seat at the back of the class.

Courfeyrac took a seat next to a blonde girl whose hair was so long that it reached her waist. The girl was so absorbed in her drawing that she did not even look up when Courfeyrac sat next to her. As Eva continued teaching, Courfeyrac peeked at her drawing and found that she was drawing a unicorn. He smiled when he remembered that Eva once told him that unicorn was her favourite mythical creature.

"That's beautiful," Courfeyrac praised the little girl, who then looked up. She had stunning ocean blue eyes, which somehow reminded Courfeyrac of Cosette, and he faltered when he recalled her warning to him this morning.

"Thank you," she replied; her voice soft and sweet.

Courfeyrac nodded, and turned his gaze to Eva. She had never looked more beautiful than she was now. She was always so enthusiastic when she was teaching and her optimism was contagious.

"Are you Miss Hunter's boyfriend?" the blonde girl asked.

"What? No. I'm only her friend," Courfeyrac answered truthfully. His eyes darted back to the girl, who seemed to not believe him.

"What?" he asked again, and this time the girl chuckled, "But you like her, don't you?"

"And what makes you say that?" Courfeyrac smiled, refusing to answer her question. He could lie and deny what she said, but he did not feel good about doing that to a little girl.

"Mom said that when two people love each other, they look at each other in a certain way, as if their loved ones are the only person on earth, as if they are the only thing that matter, as if they are the most beautiful person they have ever laid their eyes on. And that's the way you look at her," the girl answered and Courfeyrac was surprised to find that she was wiser than she looked.

"Oh?" Courfeyrac said, as he was speechless and did not know how to respond to that.

"If it matters," she continued, "That's the way she looks at you too."

…..

Enjolras sighed as he laid on his bed, tired after a long day at work.

He looked back at his life, thinking and pondering as he stared at the ceiling. He had always wanted to be a lawyer ever since he was a little kid. Even back then, he would watch lots of shows that involved lawyers solving cases and putting criminals behind bars, and he knew that it was the dream that he was going to achieve. He was ambitious and passionate, and he knew what he wanted, what he loved, and because of that, he was now living his dream. Yet, his job was demanding and tiring.

Right now, his head was pounding and his muscles were sore because he had not had enough sleep or rest for the past month. In a way, he thought he was lucky that he did not fall sick.

"But if you continue acting this way, you will get sick," Combeferre's voice rang in his head, and Enjolras had to admit, he was right.

He needed to stop this self-loathing, self-pity act of his. This was not him. He should stop sulking, stop playing the victim. If he wanted what he severely needed and deeply loved, he should get up and fight, not bury himself in documents and work, refusing to admit and learn from his mistakes. No, that was not him. He was much better that. He was better than that.

Cosette's words were imprinted in his head, and he remembered when she said that Jesse made Eponine happy. His heart clenched at the thought, and he knew that he needed to do something. She was slipping away, and no matter how hard he tried to reach her, they were drifting apart, and that truly sucked. It took him two months to realize that he still needed her, and loved her with everything he's got, and he was now damn sure that he was not going to give up, despite his friend's protests.

It was supposed to be him who made her happy, it was supposed to be him who put a smile on her face, it was supposed to be him whom she loved.

He really needed to step up his game and be a better man, the man Eponine deserved.

First thing's first.

Enjolras got up from his bed, and reached his phone in his pocket. He dialled the number that he had been dying to call for the past month. It had been a while since he heard her voice, and he missed it.

He missed her.

It took only three rings before she picked up the phone. When she finally did, the surprise was clear in her tone.

"Enjolras?" she said, her voice soft, comforting him a little bit.

"Yeah, it's me,"

"Hi,"

"Hi," he replied, a smile formed on his face.

"I haven't heard from you for a while. What's going on?" she asked, sounding quite concerned.

"Nothing. I... I'm wondering whether you want to have breakfast with me tomorrow. Like you said, it's been a while and… and I miss you."

There was silence on the other line, and Enjolras suddenly feared that she would say no and asked him what the hell he was up to. Then, although it took her a while, she replied, "Yes, sure, why not?"

Enjolras had a smile on his face when he hung up the phone. He looked out the window, his heart felt a little bit lighter and for the first time in months, he felt like he could finally get some sleep tonight. 

"Eponine Thenardier," he thought, "I am going to get you back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I have outlined this story until the very last chapter, and I am actually quite alarmed to see how angsty things were going to be. So, I tried to include fluff in this chapter, and I hope that I did not disappoint.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! If you have any requests or questions, you can talk to me on my tumblr, xbeautifulqueenx. tumblr.com ! And tell me what you think! Constructive criticism and reviews are deeply appreciated!
> 
> I'll see you in the next chapter (which I hope won't take too long for me to write!) xxxxxx


	15. The One with the Awkwardness

Enjolras tapped his fingers against the cold surface of the table at Musain. His blue eyes scrutinized the café, feeling his heart sank as the person he was looking for was nowhere to be seen. Glancing at the clock, he realized that he had been here for almost an hour now and she was supposed to be here too.

It was unlike her to be this late. So, this could only mean one thing.

She had stood him up. She was not coming.

Yet, he did not leave. A part of him still hoped that she would show up; no matter how unlikely that was.

The breakfast he ordered for himself was already cold, and still untouched. Feeling a little bit nauseous, he pushed the plate away. He could practically feel Eponine's frown as he did this. She always had an issue with people who didn't finish their food.

"Why would anyone bother to order anything if they're never going to eat?" she once said, "Why would anyone waste a perfectly good meal when out there, there are many people who will do anything for a sliver of the perfectly good food that they've wasted?"

Enjolras, on the other hand, never finish his food. He would order something, and then got distracted by something else, either by people or by his work, and then he would be too busy handling them that he'd lose all appetite to eat. He used to annoy Eponine with this quality of his. She would then badger him to eat something, and he would tell her to leave him alone.

(After tons of fights and arguments, Eponine stopped forcing him to do anything he didn't want to do, and he learnt to take better care of himself simply because he did not want her to be worried about him)

The waitress came and asked him if he'd finished with his food. Taking another look around the café, he sighed dejectedly and nodded, allowing the waitress to clear the table.

So, what now?

He hated that Eponine had stood him up like this, but sadly, he understood why she did that. It was a long shot anyway, asking Eponine to meet him when he had acted like a total jerk to her.

He chuckled bitterly when he remembered his plans to get her back.

Some things were over before they even started.

Feeling defeated, he took out his wallet and threw a few notes on the table. Just as he rose from his chair, the door opened and a woman walked in.

It was her. It was Eponine.

Their gaze locked as she saw him standing by his table. Eponine looked unsure and conflicted, as if she was battling internally with herself. Then, although it seemed like it took a great effort, she cracked a little smile and made her way towards him.

Perhaps it was not over. Not yet, anyway.

....................

"So, how are you doing?" Enjolras broke the silence. Eponine looked up to him from her cup of coffee, and then answered, "I'm doing quite well, thanks for asking."

Enjolras nodded before they again, succumbed into awkward silence. They're not idiots. They knew that the last time they saw each other, things did not end well. He was a total ass when she told him about Jesse, and she did not let him know how hurt she was because of his cold treatment.

Yes, they left things on bad terms, avoided each other for a month and now they're trying to mend things... again.

"I have to say, I was quite surprised when you called me yesterday," Eponine finally spoke, placing her cup on the table before darting her gaze back to Enjolras, "I thought you're mad at me."

Enjolras frowned, "Why would I be mad at you, Eponine?"

"I don't know," Eponine said, rubbing the back of her neck, looking like an awkward child, "I-I just thought that this whole thing with Jesse might be too weird for you to take, given our history and all."

Enjolras was silent, and Eponine chuckled, "But I was wrong, wasn't I? We've moved on, and I actually have nothing to worry about, right? You don't care about me and Jesse. You've got better things to handle, and I was such an idiot for fretting too much about telling you."

"It was a little weird at first, you know?" Enjolras replied honestly, "It took me a while to wrap my head around the idea of you and Jesse. Heck, it's still pretty hard to accept it."

Eponine seemed surprised at this sudden revelation. Enjolras simply sighed, "I believe I owe you an apology, Eponine. I was really unkind towards you the other day. I'm your friend. I should be more supportive."

"The thing is," Enjolras said, "I was just too used to the idea of you and me. I know that I've screwed everything up, but Eponine, even after everything that happened between us, a part of me believed that we're endgame, that we're forever. That no matter where I go, where I stand, one day, I'd find my way to be with you again, and you'd be there, waiting for me."

"So, when I found out about Jesse, I realized that I had lost you forever, that everything that I thought about, the thoughts that kept me going all these years, were wrong. You're no longer mine to lose, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt. Suddenly, I had to accept the fact that there is another man who can give you what I cannot give. There is another man who can make you happier than I have ever made you. There is another man who will never hurt you like I did. And… and that sucked,"

Enjolras chuckled bitterly, "Now, I have to accept the fact that we're really over, burned out. We're not forever. There's just never going to be you and me, isn't it?"

His voice was laced with hurt and disappointment, making Eponine's heart clench. She reached out and took Enjolras' hand in hers, and Enjolras looked up to her, questions in his eyes. Eponine, however, did not answer his question. Yet, in her silence, he found his answer.

"I hope you're happy with him. I really do."

His dejected tone broke her heart even further, and she cursed herself for being angry at him for not fighting.

"You're happy with him, aren't you?" he asked again. Eponine hesitated for a while, but then nodded. Enjolras smiled, although it seemed strained.

"Good."

Eponine blinked, and then realized that she was still holding his hand. She had almost forgotten how right it felt, feeling his hand in hers. Her thumb then stroked his forefinger lightly, and she realized that she had missed doing this.

Eponine's gaze darted back to him, and there were so many things that she wanted to say to Enjolras. She was happy with Jesse, but Enjolras was the one she thought about every minute, the one she longed to see every day. She was happy with Jesse, and she cared about Jesse a lot, but she knew that there was no way that she could ever feel the same way about him like she did with Enjolras. She was happy with Jesse, but she knew that as long as she was friends with Enjolras, she was never going to stop loving him, and that's a problem she did not know how to solve.

She did not know what she hoped from Enjolras. In a way, she should be glad that he wanted to let her go. She could now be with Jesse without worrying about Enjolras anymore, and things between them would no longer be as awkward. But this felt wrong. Really wrong.  
Enjolras looked at Eponine, and he too, had so many things to say. It hurt him seeing the broken look in her eyes, and it was made worse when he knew that he was the cause of it. He wanted her to be happy and he wanted nothing more than to be happy for her, really. He could have laughed at himself. Less than 24 hours ago, he was so determined to get her back, but now, now, he basically had let her go, let her be happy with another man while he wished that it was him. He had screwed things up, he knew that, and it was unfair for him to keep Eponine hanging and worrying. It was unfair for both of them.

"I would never stop loving you," he thought, "but it seemed to me that you had."

Everything that was unsaid, remained unsaid.

They did not say anything to each other after that. Eponine did not let go of Enjolras' hand, and Enjolras let her be.

"Eponine?" a voice interrupted their moment. Eponine turned around, and her jaw dropped when she found the source of the voice.

The voice belonged to Jesse.

......................

"Jesse? What are you doing here?" Eponine got up from her seat to greet her boyfriend.

"Well, you brought me here once, and I think the coffee's good, so I thought I'd have one before going to work." Jesse replied, snaking his arm around her waist and kissed her lightly on her lips. Eponine squirmed slightly as she was not particularly comfortable with public display of affection. Especially when her ex was right there watching them.

So, she pulled away from Jesse and cleared her throat. Enjolras, who had looked away when Eponine greeted Jesse, turned his gaze back to the couple. He wanted nothing more than to shove the man away from Eponine, but he held back. Jesse was staring curiously at him right now, probably wondering who he was.

Eponine looked back and forth from Enjolras to Jesse, looking conflicted and seemed to want to be anywhere but in the same room as them now.

Well, this was awkward, Enjolras thought.

Jesse, however, was now smiling and completely oblivious of the awkwardness that fell between them. So, good-naturedly, he asked, "Is this your friend, Eponine?"

"Erm…" Eponine hesitated, "Yes. Yes, he is,"

Saving Eponine the trouble of introducing them, Enjolras rose from his chair and held out his hand, "I'm Enjolras. Gabriel Enjolras."

Jesse, who remembered Eponine telling him that her friends preferred people calling them by their last name, did not question further about what he should call him. Instead, he shook Enjolras hand and introduced himself. "I'm Jesse Ashworth. You can call me Jesse."

"I know. Eponine had told me about you. Why don't you join us?" Enjolras smirked, his head turned to Eponine whose eyes widened in terror, and when Jesse sat down next to her, she glared at Enjolras, giving him the what-the-fuck-do-you-think-you're-doing look.

"Enjolras, correct?" Jesse asked, and Enjolras nodded, "Funnily enough, Eponine has never mentioned you."

"Jesse…" Eponine muttered through gritted teeth.

Enjolras arched a brow, "She didn't?"

"I did. You must have forgotten, but I did." Eponine croaked, and Enjolras knew that she was lying. Her voice shook a little, which always happened when she's telling a lie. Besides, Jesse did not seem like the kind of guy who would forget anything like that. He seemed really like Eponine, so he must remember everything Eponine had told him, especially when it involved the names of the people who were a big part of her life.

Jesse sensed her hesitation. He too, was thinking of the same thing as Enjolras. He thought he remembered everything she had told him. He knew the names of all her friends, and since she was quite reserved, so she did not have a lot of them, making it easier for him to memorize their names. He was sure that she had never mentioned Enjolras to him.

But then, he was probably wrong. Therefore, he decided to not dwell about it. He simply stared suspiciously at Eponine as he said, "Maybe you're right."

Then, Eponine's cell phone rang. She scrambled with the contents of her handbag for a while before she finally found the damned thing.

She looked at the caller ID and frowned.

Pressing the 'Accept' button, she answered, "Gavroche?"

...................

The tall and lanky 19-year-old boy with messy dirty blonde hair strolled out of the airport, looking uninterestedly at the people around him. He had stuffed his ears with earphones since he was in the flight, so when he finally took it off, he was taken by surprise by how noisy this place was.

It had been a while since he came to NYC. He never needed to visit the city since his sister moved to another country. Mr and Mrs. Hudson, his adoptive parents, would take him and Azelma to Malaysia to visit Eponine during school holidays, and whenever he wanted to him see him, Courfeyrac would visit him in Seattle and sometimes, a few of the Amis followed him.

However, now that Eponine's back, he finally got to visit the city again. It had been a while, so he hoped that he would have a good time here.

Gavroche took out his phone from his jeans pocket. The first thing he did was sending a text to his parents and Azelma, telling them that he had arrived safely. Then, he dialled Eponine's number. She picked up after the forth ring.

"Gavroche?" Eponine greeted, sounding quite alarmed. Gavroche smiled. He had missed his sister so much. He hadn't seen her since she moved back to NYC, and he was excited to see her again.

"Hey Ep. What are you doing?"

"I'm in a café. Why are you calling me this early? Did you get into trouble again?"

Gavroche rolled his eyes at his sister's remark. He loved her but she needed to stop worrying too much about him because it's driving him crazy. Sometimes he called her simply to say hi, sometimes he called her because he missed her and wanted to know how she was doing, but she always thought that he was in trouble.

She never really trusted him after he and his friends were caught trashing the principal's office with toilet papers when he was 14 and almost got expelled because of it. In Gavroche's defence, the principal was a total douche so he deserved it. Besides, it was that one time.

He was a good boy ever since. Well, kind of.

"Nothing's wrong. I just want to tell you that I'm already here. Can you pick me up at the airport or should I take a taxi to your place?"

"What? What do you mean you're here? You said you're coming this weekend! I haven't prepared anything!" Eponine exclaimed.

"You don't have to prepare anything, Ep. I'm fine sleeping on the cou-"

"Eponine, are you okay?" a voice in the background asked.

Gavroche frowned. He knew that voice so well.

"What are you doing with Enjolras?" he questioned angrily. He had serious unresolved issues with that man. The truth was, Gavroche used to look up to Enjolras. He had always admired how he brought himself, how charismatic he was, how he always knew what to say and what to do. For God's sake, he idolized him. Most of all, he really liked him because he made his sister happy, and God, she deserved nothing less than to be happy.

Then, the unthinkable happened. Enjolras cheated on Eponine, and they broke up. Gavroche refused to believe it at first, thinking that it must had been some kind of mistake.

It was not.

In a way, Enjolras did more than betraying Eponine. He also had disappointed a little boy who looked up to him, breaking his heart when he found out the truth.

Gavroche had not seen Enjolras ever since Eponine broke up with him, and he never bothered to know what had happened to him. He did not want anything to do with Enjolras, and Enjolras might as well be dead to him.

Gavroche thought that Eponine had cut off all contacts with Enjolras after they broke up, so what the hell was she doing with him?

Oh please don't say that you're together again, Gavroche thought.

"It's not what you think, Gav," Eponine replied, understanding his silence. He could practically feel her fretting on the other line.

"Eponine," a softer voice called, and this time, Gavroche knew that it wasn't Enjolras.

Whose was it?

"I'm okay, Jesse," Gavroche heard Eponine said, and he heard some shuffling before the sounds of traffic was heard.

"Jesse?" Gavroche started, "Isn't that your boyfriend? What are you doing with your boyfriend and your ex, Ep?"

Eponine sighed exasperatedly, but didn't explain further. Gavroche could not help but to chuckle, finally understanding the situation that his sister was under.

"I have just saved your ass from a very awkward situation, haven't I?" Gavroche said cheekily before bursting out laughing.

"Yes. Yes, you have."

"You owe me one."  
Eponine rolled her eyes, running her fingers through her hair as she answered, "I need to call my boss to tell them that I am going to be a little bit late today. I'll pick you up in about an hour. I'll see you then?"

"I'll see you then," Gavroche repeated, and hung up. He shook his head, feeling half-amused and half-concerned. Amused because he could practically imagine his sister's face as she sat between Enjolras and Jesse. Concerned because it seemed like she had a lot on her plate, tons to handle, and he did not want her to stress herself again.

Gavroche then figured that he could do nothing about it unless Eponine wanted him too. She had always been that stubborn.

So, he plugged the earphone back into his ears as he sat on a bench, watching people around him while waiting for Eponine to come for him. He could not wait to see his sister, and his friends whom he had not met for a while. He was not particularly excited to see Enjolras again, but he was not going to let this bitter feeling towards him ruin his weekend.

He came here to have a good time, and he was sure that he would. This weekend was going to fun and eventful.

And he could not be more excited.


	16. The One with Courfeyrac's Birthday Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I am still alive (although barely). I am so, so sorry for this very, very late update, but I was accepted into university, and I had to go through a week of orientation (which was an utter torture by the way) and another week of hectic schedule. Basically, I literally had no time to write. But I pulled through, and I hope this chapter is worth the wait. If you're still following this story, thank you so, so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.

Gavroche loved his sisters.

Siblings being siblings, they sometimes fight. Since they had bad tempers and stubborn heads, their fights often lasted longer than any normal siblings quarrel and if physical violence were involved, someone was going to get hurt (Gavroche would never forget the time when Azelma pulled out a huge chunk of Eponine's hair while Eponine punched her hard on her stomach until it bruised. They both them screamed bloody murder before Mrs. Clarington came to break them apart).

Nonetheless, they were the Thenardiers. Although Mr. and Mrs. Clarington were the most wonderful people they've ever met, Gavroche, Eponine and Azelma always felt like they only had each other in this world. Although they fought, all of them knew that there was nothing that they would put first before each other. They would do anything to protect each other from harm, and they loved each other with everything they've got.

So, excuse Gavroche for feeling a little bit sceptical about Eponine's situation with Enjolras. He had always known that his sisters' love life were either crazy or disastrous. He remembered disapproving Azelma's choice of punk boyfriends in middle school, jock dickheads in high school, and older professors now that she's in in college. Eponine, on the other, did not have lots of boyfriends in the past. She went on a couple of dates, dated some of them briefly and her relationships always ended badly. The most memorable so far was Montparnasse, whom Gavroche swore to himself to never let him lay a hand on his sister again, or that would be the last time he had hands.

Enjolras was different. He touched Eponine in different ways; ways that even Gavroche could not understand. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone, which was why his betrayal hurt her like dagger.

Gavroche crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned against the wall. His eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowed and lips pursed as he watched his sister talking to Enjolras. She giggled at something he said, and the two then burst into fits of laughter. He was no expert in relationships, but the way they looked at each other, the way they stood so close to one another, indicated that there were still feelings between them, and it annoyed Gavroche to hell and beyond.

"We're just friends, Gavroche. You should not worry too much," Gavroche mocked Eponine's tone in his head.

Friends, my ass, he thought.

...............................................................

Last Night.....

"Bullshit. I sense nothing but utter bullshit." Gavroche spat, glaring at his sister who squirmed under his hard stare. Eponine had just told him about her situation with Enjolras and poor girl thought she could convince her little brother that they were only friends. Gavroche could not believe how naïve and deep in denial his sister was right now.

Gavroche was first to admit that he did not believe that exes could ever become friends, especially when it involved the two people who shared such intense love like Eponine and Enjolras shared.

So, bullshit. This 'friends' thing was nothing but utter bullshit.

Eponine winced at her brother's choice of language. It seemed like only yesterday that he was an innocent boy who hardly understood what's going on. Now, he was a young man who would do anything to protect her, just like she would do to him. She wanted scold and tell him to watch his mouth if he did not look so damn terrifying as he glared at her right now. His penetrating stare caused words to fly right out of the window, rendering her speechless.

In the end, Eponine simply grunted and picked up her plate and Gavroche's before disappearing into the kitchen.

Gavroche wasn't done talking to his sister, so he got up from his chair and followed her.

"This is not wise, Eponine. Do you not remember what he did to you?" Gavroche shoot the question as he entered the kitchen.

"Don't be an idiot. Of course I do, and as far as I'm concerned, that's in the past. It has been years, Gavroche. It's time we move past it," Eponine answered dismissively. She put the plates into the sink and turned on the water. She then cocked her head to watch Gavroche's reaction, and her expression faltered when she saw that he was unmoved.

"See, that's the thing, Eponine. You don't move past something like that. He cheated on you, he betrayed you! How can you be okay with that?" Gavroche raised his voice, trying to make his point.

Gavroche then shook his head, still in utter disbelief. Perhaps he was making this a bigger deal than it really was, but the truth was, he could not let Enjolras get to Eponine again. When it came to this matter, Eponine was more forgiving than him; and it's driving him up the wall.

She might not remember – or chose not to remember – the day when they broke up. Gavroche was still sleeping when he got a call from Eponine, who told him that Enjolras and her were over now. Although he was still drowsy and sleepy, he got up anyway, and no matter what, he could never forget Eponine's dejected tone, as if this was her fault, as if she was not good enough, as if there was something wrong with her. He remembered her trying to keep her voice steady, but then tumbled and started sobbing, telling her that the pain of losing Enjolras was almost unbearable. She was always strong, and to listen to her in her most vulnerable moment broke Gavroche's heart.

How could he ever forgive Enjolras after that?

"I remember everything too, Gavroche," Eponine replied, looking down at her feet, "I just don't care anymore. Enjolras and I are over, and it will stay over. I will not let him hurt me anymore. He knew what he did was wrong. He knew what he did to me. He is sorry, and I accepted his apology. We're in a good place now, so you don't have to worry about me."

"I still think this whole deal is kind of fishy."

"Of course you do. You don't trust anyone that easily anymore." Eponine remarked, turning her head to her brother, watching him sadly, finding herself missing the innocent young boy who was so trusting, so happy.

"Can you blame me?" Gavroche breathed, "I am not being mean, Eponine. I have learnt my lesson for trusting him, and I'm just disappointed that you haven't."

"The damage was done, Gavroche. Instead of fretting and sulking about it, Enjolras and I decided to be adults and just let go. I am disappointed that you can't see that."

Gavroche chuckled, "Really? Because I see you, and I don't see someone who've moved on. I think that you still love him because if you don't, there is no way in hell you're ever going to let him into your life again. You cannot lie to me, Eponine."

"I am not lying to you, Gavroche!"

"You're telling me that you've moved on, and this Jesse guy is not just a rebound guy. Would you be okay if Enjolras starts dating another woman?"

Eponine did not answer the question. Instead, with a resigned sigh, she resumed cleaning the dishes. Her mind whirled, thinking about what Gavroche had said. Would she be okay with Enjolras dating another woman? She was so used to the idea of them, of him making her the centre of everything. She understood how selfish it was, but she could not help it. Just the thought of another woman making him happy instead of her, annoyed her.

"I thought so." Gavroche stated, a note of satisfaction was evident in his voice.

Gavroche then walked slowly towards his distressed sister, putting a hand on her shoulder. She stopped doing her work, and with a shaky voice, she said, "Stop it. Just… just stop."

"I'm worried about you, Eponine."

"Don't. I can take care of myself."

"You know that I'm only looking out for you, right?" he said solemnly, "I would die before I let anyone hurt you again. You're my sister, Eponine, and I love you. I just want you to be happy."

Eponine turned off the tap and faced her brother. She smiled as she looked up at him, and it struck her how tall he was now. She smiled. It seemed like only yesterday she towered over him, making him jump to get his action figure as she held it high with her hand.

Eponine brushed a strand from his brother's face. She then pinched his cheek playfully, and said, "I am happy. You're here now, and that is enough for me."

Gavroche smirked, "I know. I am so much fun."

Eponine laughed, and Gavroche pulled her in for a hug.

Eponine hugged her brother tightly, fighting back tears as she realized how much she had missed his company.

"Don't worry about me, Gav," she said again, "I will be okay. I promise."

Gavroche was not convinced, but for once, he held his tongue and decided not to say anything. He was going to be there for his sister if she needed him.

That's what a good sibling would do.

......................................................................................

Gavroche felt someone tap his shoulder. Surprised, he turned around, and he laughed when he saw Courfeyrac standing before him, his arms opened, a huge grin on his face.

"Hey buddy," Courfeyrac greeted, "How are you?" he asked as he let Gavroche go after a bone-crushing hug. Instead of answering his question, Gavroche simply chuckled bitterly, glancing again at Eponine and Enjolras in the living room, who looked far too close to be 'just friends'. He knew Eponine wanted him to leave her alone, but this situation bothered him to no ends.

Courfeyrac saw the worried look on Gavroche's face, so he grabbed Gavroche's arms and took him to the kitchen, out of the couple's sight. In the kitchen, they met Cosette, who was icing Courfeyrac's birthday cake.

"What are you doing here? Out! I am not done with your cake and I want it to be a surprise!" she exclaimed, putting the cake on the counter behind her as she tried to push Gavroche and Courfeyrac out of the kitchen. It was like pushing a boulder. Figuring that her attempts were fruitless, she sighed and glared at both of them. Her hands on her lips, and her hard gaze seemed like it could kill someone.

"Eponine said that I could have the kitchen to myself!" she huffed angrily. The party was supposed to be held at Cosette's house. However, at the very last minute, Marius told her that he needed to go to work and would be late for the party, and he would not be able to help her with the preparations. There were so many things to be done, and Eponine offered her apartment instead. Since she was yet to invite everyone to her place when Eponine offered, Cosette agreed.

The thing was, Cosette was used to be the one who hosted the parties, and she would be lying if she said that she wasn't jealous of how well Eponine decorated the apartment and got everything ready for the party. Cosette tried to help, but there was nothing much that she could do, given her condition and all. So, she told Eponine that she would be in charge of the birthday cake, and Eponine promised to leave Cosette alone in her kitchen to bake it.

Cosette, a perfectionist, wanted everything to be perfect. She wanted the cake to be perfect, and she wanted it to be a surprise. There was nothing that could make her happier than to watch Courfeyrac's face light up when he saw his birthday cake.

And for that, they had to get out of the kitchen.

"Get out!" she repeated, but then she realized that something was off. Gavroche looked worried, and a little bit pissed off. Courfeyrac looked anxious.

"What's wrong?" Cosette asked, her voice loud and clear. Courfeyrac's gaze darted from Gavroche to Cosette, and then back to Gavroche.

"It's about Enjolras and Eponine." Courfeyrac answered, and Cosette rolled her eyes. She thought it was about a more serious matter.

"What about them?" Cosette asked, despite herself.

"Gav," Courfeyrac said to the boy, ignoring Cosette, "I know you did not leave things in good terms with Enjolras. I know you have issues with him but come on man, this is my birthday! I just want to enjoy my party instead of breaking up fights. So please, can we set aside our dramas for just this one night? Can we all have dinner in peace tonight? Please? For my sake?"

He turned to Cosette for help, but she too, was looking nervously at Gavroche.

"Why are you not worried about what's happening out there, Courf? You know what that jackass did to my sister!"

"Careful, Gavroche. That man you call 'jackass' is my best friend."

"Yeah, so is Eponine. She's your friend too. I don't see you defending her like you did for Enjolras, but when I did, I'm the bitch." Cosette interrupted, earning a glare from Courfeyrac. However, Cosette then sighed. She had so much more to say, but she better not add fuel to the fire.

"There's nothing going on between them, Gavroche," Cosette finally said, still looking at Courfeyrac, "I know you think it's bullshit, but there's nothing going on between them. They're just friends. And Eponine is dating Jesse now, so she is off-limits, even for Enjolras."

Gavroche opened her mouth to argue, but when Cosette slowly turned her hard gaze from Courfeyrac to him, he felt all words leave him and he stood gaping at her.

"Now, if we're done discussing your sister and your best friend's love life, I want you two out of here." She said, and with newfound strength, she pushed both Gavroche and Courfeyrac out of the kitchen, and they did not protest.

Then, the doorbell rang, and the intense moment in the kitchen earlier was easily forgotten. Courfeyrac grinned excitedly as he made his way towards the door, but by the time he got there, Eponine had already greeted the Amis, who all rushed in to wish Courfeyrac happy birthday. Cheers of joy and delight echoed in the house, and it grew even louder when they all saw Gavroche, who smiled sheepishly before stepping in and joined the group hug.

The Amis then made their way to the living room, where they saw Enjolras, whose face lighted up when his friends came. Enjolras' smile however, faltered a little bit when he saw Gavroche. Before he got to say hi, Gavroche shook his head, and went to talk to Feuilly.

Courfeyrac was about to join his friends in the living room when Eponine tapped his shoulder. He turned around, and found that she was smiling meaningfully at him. He knew that smile so well. She was on to something.

Eponine stepped aside, and Courfeyrac felt his breath catch in his throat. Standing at the doorstep was Eva.

She looked beautiful. She was wearing a light blue dress which complimented her pale skin. She had let down her hair, and her hair was long that it almost reached her waist. She blushed when Courfeyrac stared at her, jaw dropped and eyes unblinking. Eva turned to Eponine, who realized how awkward this situation had become.

So, Eponine cleared her throat, bringing Courfeyrac out of his reverie. He realized what he had just done, so his face turned into deep shade of crimson and he looked down at his feet. He heard Eva chuckle, probably amused by his reaction.

"Come in, Eva," Eponine welcomed her, "I'll leave you two alone," she whispered to Courfeyrac after she had closed the door. She then scattered to the living room, and true to her words, left Courfeyrac alone with Eva. The man suddenly did not know what to say and the awkwardness was clear in the air.

"I didn't know that you were coming," Courfeyrac started, leaning against the wall. He darted his gaze away from her, trying to not think about how beautiful she was in blue, and how much he liked her in this colour, or how fitting the dress was on her body, or how much he wanted her but he couldn't have her.

"Cosette asked me if I wanted to come. I don't have anything to do tonight, so I said yes," she replied, and she sounded nervous. She then added, "Do you not want me here? You don't seem too excited to have me."

"What? No, that's nonsense!"

"Then, why won't you look at me?" Eva uttered, her voice small, laced with disappointment. Reluctantly, Courfeyrac turned to face her, and it struck him how beautiful she was tonight. It made his heart ache.

"I… I would invite you sooner, but you told me once that you hated parties. They make you uncomfortable, right?" Courfeyrac explained himself.

"Yes, I am not really the life of the party," Eva said and she blushed before looking down to the floor, avoiding his gaze, "However, this is your birthday party, and I want to be here for you. You're an exception."

"You don't have to do this for me, you know?" Courfeyrac said, "I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable doing simply because of me."

"I'm going to be okay. Besides, it would be fun to see everyone again. It's been a while." Eva replied cheerfully. When Courfeyrac did not reply, she said again, and this time, she sounded nervous, "But I'll only be here if you want me to. If you don't, I can leave now."

Courfeyrac felt the corners of his lips tugged upwards, and he said, "I want you with me, Eva."

Eva beamed, and she moved closer to him, taking his hand in hers. Their fingers were entwined, and she looked up to him. It took everything he had to not kiss her, and oh, how he longed to kiss her.

"Now," she finally said, "Let's go meet your friends."

…..................................................................................

It was always childish to think that we would always be together with our loved ones, that something would never go wrong, to think that we would not mess things up, that our loved ones would never leave us. That was not how the world worked. It never was.

Every relationship would be put for a test sooner or later, and Enjolras was more than confident that he and Eponine would go through it together, and survive every gruelling, every bitter, every tough moments together. That's what the two of them always believed. They're two broken people, but when they're together, they're a perfect one. Together, they're practically invincible.

Of course, things did not go the way they should be. They failed.

And he lost her.

There was no pain like it. He was not at all prepared, and it took him a while to finally accept that he had lost her. It continued to hurt, no matter how much he wished the pain away. He felt nothing but emptiness, like his heart, his soul, his insides, everything was empty and hollow. It was like he was not really living.

When she came back and told everyone about Jesse, it was like she had ripped the freshly stitched up wound that was trying to heal, the very one that she caused, exposing the infected red tissue, which now he knew, would never heal.

He had to watch her fall in love with another man. He had to watch her introduce him to his friends. He had to watch her lean into Jesse's embrace, looking up at him admiringly, her cheeks red as his friends teased them about being the new power couple. Worst of all, he had to watch all this with a smile on his face because he promised that he would be happy for her.

And everything went through him like physical pain. He wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Hey. Enjolras, right?" a voice interrupted his thoughts. Enjolras turned to his side, feeling his heart clench when he found that the voice belonged to Jesse. Not knowing what to do, Enjolras simply forced a smile and nodded. His irritation then increased when Jesse decided to sit next to him.

Jesse was the last person he wanted to talk to right now.

"Are you alright?" Jesse asked kindly, "You don't look so well."

Enjolras did not reply, rather, he simply took another gulp of his beer and watch his friends who were now chatting and having fun in the living room. It's funny how they're in the same room as him but they're in a completely different world. Enjolras' was dark and gloomy, and he wondered when was the last time he was as happy and as carefree as his friends right now.

His gaze darted to Eponine, who was talking to Grantaire and Cosette, both of them were laughing at something the man said. He did not realize that he was staring until Jesse cleared his throat, getting Enjolras' attention.

Jesse was smiling when Enjolras turned to him, and he then looked at Eponine admiringly, his eyes filled with adoration. He said, "She has that effect on everyone, hasn't she?"

Enjolras, again, chose to stay quiet.

"She is an amazing woman, you know?" Jesse continued, "Although she refuses to tell me much about her past, I can tell that she has been hurt so badly before she starts dating me. She is always reserved, always careful. Yet, when we're together, I can see that she gives everything she's got, that she loves with all her heart, and I really don't know what I've done to deserve someone as incredible as her."

"You know what's crazy? It's crazy that although we've only been dating for a few months, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make her as happy as she has made me and help her forget the darkness of her past."

Jesse smiles, "Is it possible to fall in love so fast?"

Jesse's confession hit Enjolras hard, and it took everything he had to keep his composure. It was like Jesse had picked up a huge boulder and placed in on Enjolras' heart, and his heart grew heavier.

Enjolras had hurt Eponine so badly in her past, and somehow, he made her feel scared to be in love again. Eponine deserved nothing but a better man who would treat her with love and respect, and because of what he did to her, she was closed off to all that because she was afraid. And Jesse had fallen in love with her, and the brutal truth hit him hard in the face.

He did not know what to do. He felt guilty and repulsive for what he did to her. He also felt angry and jealous because a part of him was still not used to other people being with her. He wanted to punch Jesse for wanting his girl, but at the same time he thought that if Eponine were to be with someone else, he was glad that it was Jesse.

But then again, why did everything feel so wrong?

...............................................................

Everyone went home at midnight. After saying goodbye, Eponine went to the living room and slumped on the couch, feeling utterly exhausted and spent. She looked around the apartment, and then at the kitchen, groaning when she realized that she was going to have a lot of work to do to clean this mess up. The worst of all was that she needed to do this now, or she was going to wake up to an apartment which looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. Besides, the dirty dishes in the kitchen would attract pests like flies and cockroaches. She definitely did not want that to happen.

With a great effort, she got up and went to Gavroche's room, tempted to wake him up so that he could help her clean up the apartment. However, she did not have the heart to do so when she found that he was already sleeping soundly. She smiled to herself, thinking how much he had grown, of how he was now a man and no longer the cheeky little boy he used to be.

Then, suddenly, she heard movements behind her. She swiftly turned around, preparing herself to fight an intruder. Her eyes widened when she saw Enjolras in the living room. She thought he had gone home early.

"You're still here." She stated the obvious, mentally cursing herself for doing so. Enjolras smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, I went to the toilet for a minute and when I got out, everyone had already gone home." He replied, and Eponine laughed.

Enjolras then scrutinized her place, surprised at how messy the place was.

"Do you need help, Eponine?" he offered, an amused smirk formed on his face as he knew that she would hate doing the cleaning up alone. She hated cleaning. When they're together, he's always the tidy one. It's not that she was dirty or disorganized. It's just that she really hated tidying and cleaning up their apartment. It's too much work. She would rather be organized from the start.

Eponine sighed, feeling grateful that he had offered his help. She nodded, "Yes, I do."

Enjolras chuckled, putting his coat back on the couch. He then rolled up his sleeves and asked, "Alright, where do we start?"

Everything was faster when there were two people on the job. It took Enjolras and Eponine only thirty minutes to clean the living room. After they had done the living room, they moved to kitchen.

Right now, he was helping her with the dishes. She would wash the dishes and he would wipe them dry before putting it back on the rack. They did their work in silence.

However, the silence did not last long when Eponine suddenly uttered, "I saw you talking to Jesse."

Enjolras paused, and then nodded.

"I did."

"What did you two talk about?" Eponine asked; her voice shook slightly. Enjolras could tell that she was nervous.

"Well, if you must know… you." Enjolras answered honestly. He huffed, trying hard to contain his irritation. To be honest, the last thing he wanted to talk about with Eponine right now was about Jesse.

"Me?"

"Yes, you,"

"What about me?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself, Eponine? He is your boyfriend after all."

Eponine seemed to be taken aback by his reply. Biting her lip, she nodded, and continued with her work.

"Alright, I'll ask him tomorrow," she said. Eponine turned to Enjolras after a while, a playful smile on her face as she said "I hope you said good things about me."

Her tone had changed, and she sounded light and cheery, and mostly, happy. She was trying to lighten the mood, and he appreciated that.

"I did." He answered shortly.

"It's not like you have anything bad to say about me anyway," Eponine said proudly, "I am pretty awesome."

Enjolras smirked. He then put down the dishtowel on the counter and turned to look at her. One hand on his hip, and another was on the counter.

"Really? I think I can name a few."

Eponine stopped doing her dishes, and tilted her head at Enjolras, looking right into his eyes, "Oh yeah? Name one."

Enjolras frowned, his brain whirring, trying to think of something. This was not easy. Of course, like any other human being, Eponine was not perfect and she for sure had an annoying habit. However, also like any other couples, both Eponine and Enjolras loved each other enough to look past and did not mind about each other's bad habits. They had long accepted them.

Nonetheless, Enjolras being Enjolras, he found an answer anyway.

"Do you know that you sometimes talk in your sleep?" he finally answered.

Eponine, apparently, did not know what, for her eyes widened and her jaw dropped, surprised at the sudden revelation.

"I do?!"

He smiled, "You do. Why do you think I always did my work in the living room? I used to do my reading in our bedroom, but then I kept hearing you call, well, sort of whimper, my name, and well… it's distracting. I did not want to wake you, so… I went to the living room."

Eponine's cheeks turned red, and she looked away, avoiding Enjolras' gaze. God, did she really do that?

She could feel Enjolras smiling triumphantly beside her. Her ego got the best of her, and she felt the urge to beat him in this.

"You have an annoying habit too!"

Enjolras scoffed, disbelieving, a smug look on his face, "I do not! I was a good roommate!"

Eponine smirked, arching a brow, "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

"Alright, what's my annoying habit?" Enjolras asked despite himself. Eponine giggled. It's always fun to see Enjolras struggling with himself.

"Do you know that you always whisper what you read? It's like you cannot digest what you read if you don't say it out loud. It's tolerable, but it's annoying when I was trying to watch television and you're reading beside me."

"Besides," she added, "You always wear those thick, black rimmed glasses of yours when you're reading. It's distracting."

"How is that distracting? You know what else is distracting? You watching me when I'm reading."

"I did not watch you when you're reading!" she tried to defend herself, but knew right away that she had lost because it was the truth. She always watched him when he's reading. It's his fault. If only he did not look so cute, with that glasses of his, focused on his reading, whispering to himself.

It's his fault. Not hers.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," Enjolras used her words against her, smiling to himself, feeling a little bit satisfied that he had won the argument.

Eponine, feeling unsatisfied that she had lost, splashed the water to him in her poor attempt of getting her revenge. Enjolras yelped at her sudden action. He looked down at his now soaked shirt, and then glared at Eponine, who took a step back from him.

A playful smile curved her red lips. Enjolras could not be mad at her, so he laughed, but then he splashed her back with the water from the sink. She was surprised that he played along with her childish act, and the next thing they knew, they were splashing water at each other until they were soaked and cold.

"Look at what you've done!" Eponine exclaimed, glancing down at her wet, dark green dress. She was shivering slightly, and so did Enjolras, who was now soaked from head to toe.

Enjolras looked at her disbelievingly, "Me? You started it!"

"Alright, fine. Stop. You win." She huffed, finally admitting defeat. She looked at the dishes that were far from done and let out a resigned sigh, "Now, I'm wet. I need to change clothes, and apparently, so do you. I'll see if there's anything you can wear. Wait here."

"Hey, you have something on your cheeks," Enjolras suddenly said, gesturing to the foam on her left cheek. She gazed blankly at him, unsure about what he had just said. Enjolras sighed, shaking his head before walking towards her. He stood in front of her and lifted his hand, wiping the foam from her face using his thumb.

He felt Eponine tensed under his touch. Enjolras suddenly realized what he had done, and made a move to step back but Eponine held him by the hand and their gazes locked. Enjolras did not remember the last time he saw Eponine this close, and it struck him how beautiful she was right now. He caressed the smooth skin of her cheek with his thumb, admiring her face, the face of the woman he loved, the face of the woman he lost.

The pain that he felt in his heart all night came pricking him like daggers.

Eponine saw the hurt in his eyes and as if by instinct, she moved closer to him, wanted to kiss the pain away. She did not want to see him sad. She promised herself years ago –when they first got together- that she was going to make him happy. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved him, and despite everything that happened, she wanted to always keep her promise.

Before Enjolras could register what was happening, he felt her nose brush against his, her breath on his lips. His heart pounded rapidly against his chest, desire pooling in his stomach as his other hand, the one that wasn't on her cheek, snaked to her spine, bringing their bodies together. They were close, their lips almost touched. He could count the freckles on her face. He could feel her breath on his lips. She leaned towards him, and they were one whisper away from one another when….

"EPONINE!"

Gavroche yelled from his bedroom. Enjolras and Eponine jumped when they heard his call. They quickly pulled apart, blush formed on their cheeks.

"Eponine! Where are you?!"

"In the kitchen!" Eponine yelled back, and the tone of frustration and anger was evident in her voice. Gavroche then was quiet, and Eponine wondered whether it was just one of his dreams when he would yell out her name, calling her in the middle of the night.

She must have let her thoughts wander because Enjolras cleared his throat, getting her attention.

"I… I think I should go now." He said when she turned to him.

Feeling powerless because she could not think of a reason for him to stay, she nodded. Enjolras gave her a weak smile before moving to the living room to get his coat.

Before he walked out the door, Eponine could not help but to say, "Can we please… forget about what just happened? Let's not let that ruin what we have now."

She could see the devastation in his eyes, and it broke her heart.

After a moment, he said,

"Sure."

............................................................................

Eva was giggling uncontrollably when she reached her apartment. Courfeyrac trailed behind her, an amused smirk plastered on his face as he watched her struggle with the keys to her home. As expected, she dropped it and Courfeyrac knew that he needed to help her.

"Wow, you're wasted. I didn't know that you're quite a lightweight." Courfeyrac commented, opening the door for her. He could not help but to feel utterly amused though. He had been watching her all night, and she only had two glasses of wine. However, those two glasses of wine managed to turn her into this giggling, unstable, too-light-on-her-feet mess in front of him.

"I'm not that drunk," Eva replied, trying to straighten her posture as she made her way into her apartment. Unfortunately, she lost her balance and tripped.

Lucky for her, Courfeyrac was fast, so he managed to catch her before she fell flat on her face.

"Alright, you need help. Come on." Courfeyrac uttered, putting his arm around her as he helped her to the living room.

She settled on the couch, still giggling, finding the entire unfunny situation funny. Courfeyrac went to the kitchen, and when he got back, he brought a glass of water and handed it to Eva. She drank it without any further question.

Courfeyrac sat down next to her, unsure about what to do next. It was unlike Eva to act like this. She was usually very composed and calm, and to see Eva this cheery was pretty unusual to Courfeyrac.

"Are you going to be okay?" Courfeyrac asked. Eva did not answer. She simply put the glass on the table and looked at him seriously.

"I did not get you anything for your birthday," she said, and she seemed regretful, "What should I get you for your birthday? What would you like?"

Courfeyrac chuckled, and Eva arched a brow, looking quite offended.

"I am serious, Courf!"

"I know," Courf replied, "But it's hilarious. A few months ago, you cannot stand being in the same room as me. You hated my guts. Now, you're thinking of buying me a birthday present!"

Eva grinned, "It's because I finally realize that you're not an asshole like I thought you were."

"I guess I've changed your mind, huh?"

"You've changed a lot of things," Eva replied, a serene, loving smile formed on her face as she looked at Courfeyrac, "You've changed the way I see things. You've changed my life. You've made everything better. I am the happiest when you're around and I thank you for the moments we spent together. You're an amazing man, Courf. You've made me a better person."

Eva chuckled at her speech. She turned away from Courfeyrac and laughed, her face turned into lovely shade of crimson, "I'm sorry. I am such a sap when I'm drunk."

Courfeyrac was not laughing. Instead, he replied, "I just hope that when you wake up tomorrow, you'll remember what you just said. I hope that's not the alcohol talking."

"I meant every word, Courf." Eva said, "I will never lie to the person I love."

Courfeyrac's eyes widened at her words, shocked at her confession. Eva too, seemed to realize what she had just said and looked at Courfeyrac, fearing for his reaction.

"I- I didn't mean… I mean I… I- oh God, I did not just say that. No no no, this is not happening!" she buried her face in her hands, shaking her head, hoping to God that this was just a nightmare. Did she really had blurt out her feelings for him, especially when she knew how he felt about these things?

"Eva, I…"

"Courf, I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry."

"No, I – "

Eva faced him, tears in her eyes. Courfeyrac was surprised to see how panicked she was about this matter.

"Please don't freak out, Courf. I don't mean to scare you. It all just got out and I just…"

Frustrated that she would not stop talking, Courfeyrac pressed a wordless, desperate kiss on her lips, trying to make her stop talking, trying to tell her that he felt the same way. This feeling scared him to no ends, but right this moment, he wanted to do nothing but to kiss the woman he loved, to kiss the woman who loved him back.

Eva was shocked at his actions, but quickly recovered as she kissed him back just as fervently, just as eagerly. Courfeyrac pulled her in, and she shifted from her seat, that she was now straddling his lap and their kisses turned more sensuous, more desperate.

Courfeyrac faltered when he felt her tugging at his jacket, trying to pull it off his shoulders.

"Eva, are you sure that you want to do this now?" he said, tightening his grip on her hips as she kissed his jawline before moving down to his collarbone.

"Why not?" she whispered in his ear, her soft lips placed a kiss under his earlobe and he felt his usually clear mind getting foggy, clouded with desire for her. Oh, how he wanted her. He could not help a groan that escaped his lips when she grinded her hips against his and he felt his erection straining in his jeans.

He could not take this anymore. He wanted – no, needed - more of her. His hand travelled under her shirt, tracing the smooth skin of her back while another ghosting over her breast. She pressed her body flush against him, desperate to feel more of him. He sucked on the pulse point on her neck. He could feel her heart beating fast, and that made him grin against her skin.

"Bedroom. Now." Eva said breathlessly as she unbuttoned his shirt. She gave up after a few buttons, resulting her to rip his top off, tossing it away.

Then, with great difficulty, he managed to get up on his feet, and she wrapped her legs firmly around his waist. Courfeyrac felt his feet were as wobbly as marshmallows and Eva kissing him and running her hand down his torso did not help in making it any better.

When they got to the bedroom, he practically threw her on the bed and wasted no time in getting on top of her. She was looking at him with so much admiration, with so much awe and the most importantly, with so much love. He had never seen anyone as beautiful as she was right now, and he kissed her, trying to tell everything with the kiss, that she was the world to him, that she was the earth and the sun, the sea and the wind, the only one for him.

He loved her. He really loved her. It scared it. Everything about him scared him. But he was at the point of no return. He would be damned if he stopped now.

Clothes were discarded quickly after that, and Courfeyrac was surprised to see that this was not at all awkward. He was used to have women pining for him, trying to get him, wanting him, and although he admitted that he enjoyed their attention, he never felt for any of them. To have Eva feeling all that for him, to have her wanting him as much as he wanted her, it meant everything to him.

"I've wanted you for so long," he breathed, kissing her chest, his hands caressed her thighs.

"Then, take me. I'm yours."

Courfeyrac lifted his hips and pushed into her slowly, letting her adjust to the feel of him. She sighed, and dug her nails on his back, her eyes screwed shut as he filled her completely. He started painfully slow at first, but then she pulled him closer and told him to go faster.

So he sped up, and only sounds of slapping skin, and moans and random curses were heard in the room. He was losing control, and so did she as she was part moaning, part sighing and part screaming his name, driving him absolutely crazy. She clenched her walls around him, and he knew that he could not hold this much longer. So, he moved faster and harder into her and he honestly thought that the bed under them was going to break. As it was, he was past the point of caring.

She came not long after, leaving scratches on his back as she pulled him in, kissing him fervently. When she pulled away, she looked at him right in the eyes and said, "I love you."

That did it for him. With a cry, he spilled himself inside of her, amazed at the sheer intensity of it all. Eva watched him affectionately, pushing his damp hair from his forehead, smiling up at him.

"I love you," she said again, waiting for his answer.

Somehow, he could not bring himself to say those three simple words. The fear that he felt a few moments ago came rushing back, and it took everything he had to not quickly get dressed and walk out of the door. It took him everything he had to remember that this was Eva.

This was Eva, and he felt that he had royally screwed everything up.

His head was spinning, so he pulled off her and flopped on the bed beside her, looking up at the ceiling, still trying to catch his breath.

After a while, Eva understood that he was never going to say it back. He turned to look at her, and he could swear that he saw a look of disappointment in her eyes before she looked away. She then got up from the bed and rather unsteadily, went to the bathroom, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

And he felt like such a jerk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the badly written smut. I tried. I really tried. But, I have more things planned for Eva and Courf, if you're wondering. Care to guess what it is?


	17. The One with the Chicken Soup and Rain

Enjolras hardly got sick. In fact, that was the one thing that he was really proud of. He did not know how – perhaps he had excellent antibody – but he hardly got sick, much to his friends' dismay as they kept badgering him about his less than healthy lifestyle.

However, when he did get sick, he was a complete and utter baby.

Right now, he was lounging in his living room, a blanket covering his lean body to keep him warm. He was not quite sure of the use of the blanket anymore. Although his body was really warm, he still felt so cold that he began to shiver. He sniffed, thanking God that he no longer had runny nose. His eyes however, were bloodshot red, and he looked goddamn awful, not to mention utterly uncomfortable.

He barely had the energy to even get up, let alone go to the bedroom, so, he settled on the couch, hoping that sleep would soon overtake him and he would miraculously wake up feeling fresh and healthy.

Then, just as he was about to close his eyes, the doorbell rang.

Enjolras groaned. He was already irritated because he was unwell, but now he was simply mad. What did a man have to do to get some sleep here?

Feeling almost too comfortable in his blanket, Enjolras decided to ignore the doorbell. He could apologize tomorrow if the person was any of his friends. If they were not, well, they just had to live. He could not afford to think about anyone else because right now, he needed his rest to get his full energy back.

Much to his dismay, the person did not leave, so he had to endure the poundings of the door and the ringing of the doorbell over and over again. After ten minutes, Enjolras finally accepted the fact that this person would never leave unless he opened the door.

Grunting like an old man, Enjolras kicked his blanket away, shivering at the sudden change of temperature.

"What?" he exclaimed as he opened the door.

Eponine's knuckles froze in mid-air when the door was opened, and she gaped at him, blushing slightly when she realized that she had been downright annoying. Enjolras' hard gaze seemed to soften when he realized that it was Eponine, and that made her feel less nervous. Smiling sheepishly, she answered, "Ferre told me that you're not feeling well, so I thought I should pay you a visit. I haven't seen you since… since Courfeyrac's party."

Enjolras then looked down, breaking their gaze. They both remembered what happened at the party, and they both remembered how it ended. Enjolras would be lying if he had forgotten Eponine's request for him to forget what happened, as if the incident meant nothing to her. He would be lying if he said that he had forgotten how much that hurt him. He would be lying if he said that the incident did not make him mad.

In a way, he felt like she was in deeper denial than he was when it came to them.

Nonetheless, he decided to not say anything, so he stepped aside, and let her in.

"Have you eaten?" she asked as she made her way towards his kitchen.

"No," Enjolras answered lazily, leaning against the kitchen doorframe, watching her unload the bag of groceries that she brought with her. He watched the things that she was taking out of the bag, and smiled to himself when he realized that those were the ingredients for chicken soup.

"Chicken soup?" he asked, just to make sure.

"Chicken soup." She replied with a smile on her face as they shared a moment of understanding.

One thing about Enjolras and Eponine was that they were both terrible cooks. Well, Enjolras could cook simple dishes but Eponine was hopeless. However, somehow, soups were the thing that they both knew how to make because it was simple enough for cooking dummies like them. So, whenever one of them got sick, one would cook for the other. And it was always chicken soup.

It's the best they could do in their ways to take care of each other. It's not much, but it's them.

"You don't have to do this for me, you know?"

"I don't, but I want to." Eponine insisted as she searched the cabinet for cooking utensils. When she realized that he was still watching her, she told him, "Go get some rest, Enjolras. I'll bring this to you when it's ready."

It was no use arguing with Eponine, so Enjolras made his way to the living room, crawled under the blanket, and as rain started to pour outside, he fell asleep.

...............................................

His eyes fluttered opened. From the sound of the rain still pouring heavily outside, he knew that he had not been sleeping long. He rolled to his side, and found Eponine sitting on one of his armchairs, reading a book.

"Hey." He croaked, and she turned her head to see him. Apparently she was so engrossed with her reading earlier that she did not realize that he had woken up.

"Hey." She said, putting down the book on the table as Enjolras sat up. She then sat next to him, placing her palm on his forehead to check his temperature. Her palm felt cold against his warm skin, and he tried to ignore the tingle that he felt in his spine when she touched him.

"It wasn't as bad as it was before," she stated, and when he raised an eyebrow questioningly, she added, "I checked your temperature when you're sleeping."

"Oh," he said simply.

Eponine smiled kindly, and then removed her hand from him. He mourned the loss, but managed to keep a straight face.

"The soup is ready. Should I heat it up for you?"

"No, I don't feel like eating just yet." Enjolras said, "Stay here with me. Keep me company."

Eponine's smile dimmed slightly, but then she said nothing as she relaxed on the couch. Enjolras had to resist the urge to scoot closer to her so that he could put his arms around her, just like he used to do years ago.

It was still raining outside, so it was quite chilly. Eponine smiled to herself as she took Enjolras' arm and put it around her shoulders.

"What are you thinking about?" Enjolras asked, curious, and frankly, quite surprised at the gesture.

"Do you remember our first date?" Eponine asked back; her eyes trained on the heavily pouring rain. It was freezing, and although the heater was on, Eponine could still feel the cold. As if by reflex, she felt herself scooting closer into Enjolras' arms.

It felt right, and she felt bad for feeling that way.

"How could I forget?" she heard Enjolras speak, and she could sense that he was smiling, probably remembering the fond memory. She smiled too, blush creeping on her cheeks and she remembered the night she wanted everything to be perfect, but failed miserably.

...............................................

-flashback-

"Eponine, you cannot go out tonight! You're sick!" Cosette exclaimed as she watched Eponine pace back and forth from the mirror to her closet and back to the mirror again, picking up a few dresses from closet to see whether they were right for her first date with Enjolras tonight. Eponine ignored Cosette who was sitting on her bed, still trying to convince her to cancel her date tonight.

"You can't seriously think that Enjolras is going to take you out tonight if he knows that you're sick?" Cosette said again. Grunting in frustration, Eponine dropped her dresses on the bed and grabbed some tissues before blowing her nose. Eponine closed her eyes, trying to fight back the dizziness. Once she regained her composure, she tossed the dirty tissues in the bin and resumed her previous activity.

Cosette sighed. She knew that trying to get some sense into her friend's head now was probably futile. Eponine had not seen Enjolras for three weeks because they were both too busy with their classes and assignments. When they got to see each other, it was during the group's hang out on Friday nights and they barely had some time alone. That really sucked, Cosette thought, considering that Eponine and Enjolras had just begun dating and she knew that Eponine must ache to have Enjolras all to herself for one night.

Nonetheless, as much as she tried to be an understanding friend, Cosette could not let Eponine out tonight. Not when Eponine had come down with flu and was sneezing non-stop for the past hour. Cosette had checked Eponine's temperature and she was practically burning up. Her body temperature was high, and she needed to rest instead of going out. Besides, the weather forecast predicted that it was going to rain tonight. Either way, if she went out, Eponine was going to get worse.

"Would you for once, listen to me?" Cosette exclaimed exasperatedly when Eponine ignored her. She then got up from the bed and stopped Eponine, pulling the dresses from Eponine's hands.

Eponine glared at her, "What are you even doing here, Cosette?"

"Marius told me to check up on you!" Cosette answered hotly, keeping her grip on the dresses tight when Eponine tried to snatch them from her, "He told me that you're going to react like this. You need to get some rest, Eponine. Enjolras would understand!"

"I don't want to get some rest, Cosette! I want to see him!" Eponine yelled, causing Cosette to take a step backward. She had never seen Eponine this angry, "I have not seen him for weeks now, and God knows how much longer I have to wait after this. He has exams coming up and he is going to be busier! So, like it or not, tonight is the only night I have to see him. For God's sake, Cosette, we've been dating for three weeks and tonight is our first real date. I'd be damned if I miss it. So, no! I will not get some rest! I'm going on this date!"

"But Eponine…"

"You don't understand, Cosette! This is the first real relationship I ever have, and I don't even have the time to see my freaking boyfriend. You and Marius practically live together now, so I don't expect you to understand how frustrated I am!"

Eponine held back a sob, refusing to cry in front of Cosette. Then, she sat on her bed, her body felt weak and tired, and she mentally cursed herself for wanting to cry over such small matter.

The thing was, this was only the first month of her relationship with Enjolras. This was supposed to be the honeymoon period for every couple. They were supposed to spend most of their time together, getting to know each other. Instead, they had this distance between them. He barely had the time to talk to her, and she barely saw him these past three weeks. They had not even had their first date yet, for the love of God.

"Eponine…"Cosette approached her, and she felt Cosette's soft hand on her shoulder, probably trying to comfort her who clearly looked distressed.

"Cosette, if you're trying to convince me to cancel tonight's plan, I'm sorry but you're going to have to shut it because I am not changing my mind." Eponine said, her tone harsher than she intended. She felt Cosette retreating, and Eponine suddenly felt really guilty for taking that tone with her. After all, Cosette was only being a good friend. And if she was honest to herself, Eponine would admit that she agreed that it was probably not a good idea for her to go out tonight.

"I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean it like that. I just…"

"No, it's alright. I understand." Cosette said kindly. She sat next to Eponine, not saying anything, giving Eponine time to think about her decision. Eponine then realized that she was so used to Cosette advising her in everything, that when Cosette's quiet, the silence was almost deafening.

"I'm going on the date, Cosette." Eponine uttered stubbornly. Cosette looked disappointed, but then shrugged because she knew that there was no point arguing with Eponine. Marius warned her about Eponine's annoying stubbornness, only now she could see it for herself.

Smiling, Cosette turned to Eponine and said, "Alright, I am going to have the pleasure of saying 'I told you so' anyway when I take you to the doctor tomorrow."

Eponine rolled her eyes and Cosette chuckled. Eponine then watched her friend take one of her dresses and with a smirk on her face, Cosette said, "I think this red dress matches those black stilettos of yours, no?"

.....................................................

She heard him knock on the door exactly at 8. She giggled, amused at how punctual he was. Nonetheless, she was not going to complain. She loved people who respected other people's time.

She opened the door, and her jaw dropped when she saw him leaning against the doorframe, his smile lopsided, and he looked as dashing as ever.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"You look beautiful." He stated, and Eponine did not even have the time to say thank you because before she knew it, he took a step closer to her and pulled her close to him, locking her lips with her as he kissed her passionately, releasing the pent-up tension that they felt the past few weeks. Eponine responded to his kiss just as ardently, burying her hand in his curls while the other was on his shoulder. He was pressed so closely against hers that she was bent a little bit backwards, but she did not mind. She had missed this. She missed him.

His kiss felt so good and she never wanted it to stop. However, she suddenly felt Enjolras tense and quickly pulled back from her. Despite herself, she let out an embarrassing whine as she tried to keep him in place.

"What?" she questioned when he watched her with worried look in his eyes.

"You're hot."

"I know, you made your point clear earlier," Eponine replied cheekily, a naughty smile formed on her lips.

"No, I mean, you're really hot." Enjolras said with serious tone, placing his palm on her forehead and then on her cheeks, "You have a fever."

"You don't have to worry. I'm fine." Eponine swatted his hands away before taking her coat off the rack. Enjolras watched her incredulously as she made her way out the door. When she realized that he was not with her, she turned to him and asked, "Are you coming?"

"You're burning up. Don't you think you should stay home?" Enjolras said hesitantly as he stepped closer to her. He looked so worried and anxious. Eponine rolled her eyes. She took his hand in hers as she locked the door. She started to walk and Enjolras simply followed her. However, she could still feel that he was no longer sure about this date, and it annoyed her to no ends.

"Enjolras, I've been looking forward for tonight, okay?" she exclaimed when they were already outside and he was still unsure about taking her out, "I have not seen you for weeks, and this date, this, is my first real date after a long, long time. God knows how long I have to wait to have another date with you. Is it so wrong for me to not let this stupid fever get in the way?"

When Enjolras did not answer, she continued, "I'm fine, Enjolras. I had taken my medicine earlier, and I promise to see the doctor again tomorrow. So can you please, please come with me and don't worry too much. I'm a big girl. I know how to take care of myself."

Enjolras still looked unsure, but nonetheless, he took a few steps towards Eponine and took her hand in his. They started walking together and Eponine said, "I miss you, you know? This is great, isn't it? What could possibly go wrong?"

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because just as she said that, the rain started to pour. Eponine's jaw dropped as she looked up to the sky, refusing to believe her bad luck. It was until she felt Enjolras tugging her hand and started running that she realized that she had been standing still at her spot as the rain drench her, as the sky growled which she took as the universe laughing at her misfortune. She cursed under her breath as she ran with Enjolras back to her apartment.

She wanted nothing more than for this night to be perfect. She did everything she could, but everything was ruined before it even started.

Then, she felt hot tears streaming down her face.

Suddenly, she was glad that it was raining.

.................................................

She was quiet when they got back to her apartment. She had changed back to her pyjamas, and had sat in front of the fireplace for a while now. She heard Enjolras bustling and moving here and there in her apartment, sometimes in the bedroom, sometimes with her in the living room and now, he was in the kitchen doing… well, whatever he was doing. Eponine felt so sad because of her ruined date that she did even bother to ask.

"Eponine?" she heard Enjolras call. She turned around, and her eyes widened when she found him standing there, holding a tray and wearing an apron, looking very adorable. It took her a while to register that he was cooking when he was in the kitchen.

"What… what are you doing?" she stammered, causing Enjolras to laugh.

"I made you chicken soup," he said as he put the tray on the coffee table in front of her. He then took off the apron, tossing it on the armchair before taking a seat next to her.

"Why?"

"It's not much, but my nanny used to make me chicken soup when I was sick. She believed that it could make someone who is sick, feel better. I am no cook like my nanny though, so I hope you'd like it."

"This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done to me," Eponine uttered, staring at Enjolras. She could not believe the amount of love and affection she had for him right now.

Enjolras simply smiled as his soft gaze bore on her. He took her hand in his and said, "It's not much, and this is far from a perfect date. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Shaking her head, Eponine scooted closer to him as he put his arms around her. She closed her eyes, resting her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, feeling the warmth of his body against hers. She then felt him place a chaste kiss on her forehead, and Eponine had never wanted to say 'I love you' more in her life.

She then realized that this was what she wanted all along. She realized that she did not need fancy restaurants or lively bands to make her first date perfect and memorable. She did not need him to do a grand romantic gesture just to impress her. Heck, she did not even need beautiful dresses or stilettos that made her feet hurt just to impress him.

What she wanted was this, being in his arms, having him close to her. Just him. She only wanted him.

As she listened to the crackles of the fireplace and the sounds of the pouring rain outside, she snuggled closer to Enjolras, feeling herself drifting into a peaceful slumber, a smile on her face, her heart content.

This was what she wanted all along.

This was perfect.

..................................................

"Your chicken soup tasted awesome, by the way," Eponine reminded Enjolras, fully aware that she was still in his embrace. However, she did not move. She was too comfortable now.

"Thank you," Enjolras replied shortly. Involuntarily, he brought her closer into his embrace. He had to bite his lip to keep him in reality, to remember that they're just friends now, that it would be inappropriate to kiss her on her forehead now.

"Do you remember that you got sick a few days after that?" Eponine laughed, reminiscing the time when Enjolras came down with flu a few days after their first date, probably got it from her.

"I remember you coming to my apartment and made me chicken soup, just like I did for you."

"But my chicken soup tasted awful. I still wonder how you managed to finish the whole bowl."

"It was not that bad."

"Enjolras, Grantaire literally ran into the toilet to puke after he tasted it. I spitted it out after the first taste. You can't seriously think that it was not bad?"

"Alright, it tasted awful," Enjolras admitted, sounding amused. Then, he continued, "But that was the first time you ever cooked for anyone, and I did not want to discourage you. In the end, I hated being sick, but when you're with me, everything was bearable. So bring on the terrible soups, overcooked meal and all, I'd eat them all because I know that seeing me eat your cooking makes you happy, and I would do anything to be the one who puts a smile on your face. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. Nothing."

Eponine was speechless. Her gaze was transfixed on Enjolras, who by now avoided her gaze, probably realizing that this moment was too intimate, a moment that two lovers would share, not friends, and definitely not exes. Not to mention it hurt when he was reminded again and again that she was not his. Not anymore.

Then, as if by instinct, Eponine cupped his chin, making him turn his head to her. He looked at her questioningly, wondering what she was doing. His heart sped up at the possibilities.

Without any warning whatsoever, she leaned forward and kissed him.

How could something so wrong felt so right? Every atom in her told her to stop, reminding her where they both agreed to stand. Yet, the very part in her heart told her to go for it, and she went for it, kissing Enjolras more fervently, more hungrily, and she realized that she had wanted to do this ever since she saw him again in the coffee shop a few months back. It was easy to forget everything bitter thing that happened between them. It was easy for her to just forget about the world, Jesse, everything. 

He made it so easy to forget.

He kissed her back just as ardently, his arms snaked to her back as she pressed herself against his body, leaving no space between them, as if they were one. 

There were only them now. Only Eponine and Enjolras.

For once after a long time, she felt that everything was right in the world. For once after a long time, she finally felt alive, her heart soar, and she felt truly, and blissfully happy, and she knew that he felt the same by the way he kissed her back.

She was going to regret this when it ended. But then, as she melted in his embrace, she could not bring herself to care. This would not last long, and she wanted to make it last.

Even for a moment, she wanted to feel that he was hers again, and she was his.

Only for a moment. Was that too much to ask?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, I'm so sorry for I've been terrible in updating lately. Truth is, I just got into university to pursue my degree, and it is just impossible to find time to write. I think I have said this before, but I want to assure you again that I am not abandoning this story. It's also not on hiatus, just me struggling to find time between writing and classes and the mountain high assignments.
> 
> Also, thank you so much for reading and leaving feedbacks. You guys have no idea how much you've helped me grow as a writer, and how much your reviews mean to me. I cannot thank you enough, really.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter (so sorry if Enjolras and Eponine were a little bit OOC. I am tired of writing one angst after another, so I had to write a little bit of fluff, and with a little bit of fluff, came a whole lot of OOC-ness because apparently, I am the worst when it comes to fluff). Anyway, tell me what you think! Any predictions, any requests, any suggestions are welcomed.
> 
> Oh, and I changed the title of this story from Broken to Standing In The Dark, which a song by Lawson. The song suits this story perfectly, so I hope you like the new title!
> 
> Again, thank you so, so much.


	18. The One with Her Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am so sorry for the delay, again. But I have been experiencing some serious writer's block nowadays and I cannot seem to get out of it...? Also, I am stressed because of my mountain high assignments which somehow grow even higher every day. Any tips on how to manage time more properly?
> 
> Anyway, thank you so, so much for reading. I apologize for any typos or grammar errors. And I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Getting your heart broken into pieces was probably one of the worst things that a human being could ever experience. The pain was unbearable. The thought of losing someone whom you gave your heart and soul to was suffocating. The betrayal of it all was like a slap on your face, and despite everything, you kept questioning yourself; what was wrong with you? It was never your ex's fault, even if it was. In the end, you blamed yourself, you beat yourself down, and that was the worst part of getting your heart broken.

If there was anyone who was accustomed to getting her heart broken, it was Eponine. And she promised to never let herself cause the terrible pain on anyone whom she loved and cared about.

Apparently, promises were meant to be broken. Even the promises you made to yourself.

No one ever told her that breaking other people' heart was just as bad as getting your heart broken, especially when it came to the person who was incredibly kind to her, the man whom she began to really like.

She was shaking head to toe by the time she reached Jesse's place. She contemplated about running away. Run, and never had to deal with this. That was a cowardly thing to do, but also the most tempting. After all, she was afraid. She could have laughed at herself. For someone who was so unafraid when she was a child, she grew up to be a coward.

How could she face him, though? How could she ever face his sincere smile, or the way his face bright up whenever he saw her? How could she look at him in the eyes and told him the truth, when he had always looked at her with so much admiration and respect, as if when he saw her, all he felt was happiness? How could she break the heart of a man who wanted to do nothing but make her smile?

Could she even handle seeing the warm, loving glance turn into cold, icy stare when she told him the truth about her and Enjolras? God, could she even face him?

"I cannot do this," Eponine finally decided and turned to walk away. However, the universe had a better plan because just as she spun her heels, the door opened and she heard Jesse's voice which caused chill to travel down her spine.

"Eponine?"

She had to face her fears.

No more running away.

........................

"Eponine, are you well?" Jesse's voice rang, but everything was a blur to Eponine now. She realized that she was quiet for the whole hour, but Jesse did not force her to say anything. He realized how pale and scared she seemed. She looked like she was going to throw up. He knew that he would make things worse if he forced her to say what was on her mind, so he simply sat next to her, his hand rubbing her back, trying to comfort her without saying a word.

Eponine closed her eyes, tears streamed down her face.

"Hey, why are you crying? Eponine? Hey," Jesse sounded alarmed when he saw her cry. He pulled her into his arms, and by this time, Eponine could not take it anymore. Guilt washed over her, drenching her, making her feel like she was the filthiest scum on earth who did not deserve to be with this saint of a man. She quickly pulled herself out of his embrace and wiped her tears. Everything hurt, but she had no one to blame but herself.

"I need to tell you something,"

Jesse raised an eyebrow, curious but also guarded, as if he knew that whatever she was going to say, it was not going to be good.

"What is it?" He said tentatively, taking Eponine's hand in his, still trying to comfort her although he too, was worried beyond belief.

"Before I tell you this, I want you to know that I understand if after this, you don't ever want to see me again. I am an idiot for screwing things up and I am so, so sorry."

"Eponine, you're scaring me. What is it? What have you done?"

Perhaps it was the kindness that was still evident in his tone, despite his growing impatience. Perhaps it was because she could not keep this to herself anymore.

"Jesse, I cheated on you." She told him the truth. Her tone probably came out harsher than she intended, but since when did truth ever come out soft and tender? It was always, always cold and hard, hitting the other person square in the face, hurting them, hurting both of them.

Jesse's grip on her hand faltered slightly, and the look of love and kindness in his eyes changed into disappointment and disbelief.

"Jesse, I'm sorry," Eponine said again, tears welled up in her eyes and she gripped his hands tight. His silence as he tried to process what she had just told him was excruciating, and Eponine would prefer if he started to scream at her, let it all out. She deserved it.

Instead, in a calm tone, she heard him say, "Who is he?"

Eponine looked at him questioningly. She then stammered, "W-what?"

"Is it Enjolras?"

The surprised look on her face was just the answer that he needed. So, he let her hands go, and looked at her straight in the eyes. He was smiling slightly, although she could tell that it was not at all sincere. She could tell that he was hurting, and that smile was something that he used to hide how heartbroken he was right now. And it hurt her just as much when she realized that she was the cause of that.

"You love him, don't you?"

"I don't," Eponine answered almost too quickly for her answer to be believable.

"Don't lie to me, Eponine. I see the way you look at him, and I see the way he looks at you. I've been in love before too, Eponine, and I know that look very well. I kept quiet though, because I was a fool who believed that you would choose me over him. I fooled myself into believing that you would someday look at me the way you look at him."

He stood up and walked away from her. He poured himself a glass of whiskey as he continued, "When did you sleep with him?"

"I didn't sleep with him."

Jesse scoffed bitterly, "Eponine, I am not judging you. I'm just…"

"And I am telling you," Eponine said through gritted teeth, "I did not sleep with him. We kissed. That's all."

Jesse turned to face her. She was no longer crying.

"You're a fool, you know that?" Eponine remarked. Jesse raised a brow questioningly.

"You're an idiot if you think I don't have feelings for you. You're too busy feeling insecure that you don't see that my feelings for you are just as strong as yours for me. You're too blind to see that I want to have a future with you, my present, than with someone from my past. You're too much of a moron to realize that I would choose you, that I had chosen you and I want you. Not him. You."

"That is why I feel so bad about kissing Enjolras. I had majorly fucked things up because a little part of me did not move on. But a huge part of me wants to be with you. I want to see where things can go. I want to see where we can take this relationship."

"If you think you're just a rebound guy, or that you don't mean as much anything to me, then you're an idiot and I cannot help you. You're more than that to me. And you deserve so much better than what I can give you." Eponine said, "I am sorry for everything, Jesse. I really am."

Jesse remained quiet and his expression remained stony, which Eponine took as a sign that he did not believe her. Please don't give up on me just yet, she wanted to say. Yet, from her experience, she knew that begging would do no good. After all, she had broken his trust, his heart, and she should know better than to beg for another chance. She should not beg. After everything, she still needed her pride intact.

So, she took her handbag, walked towards the door. Jesse still said nothing.

Then, without turning back, she said in a low voice, "Goodbye, Jesse."

.....................................

Sometimes you didn't know what you wanted until you lost it.

And then, you cursed yourself for letting things go, and for taking things for granted when they're yours.

Eponine did not realize how much she really liked Jesse until she lost him. She knew she had strong feelings for him, but she never realized how loved he made her feel, how appreciated she was when she was with him, and how beautiful she felt when he looked at her.

Because of all that, she felt utterly miserable.

Everything was made worse when she knew that she had to set things straight with Enjolras, again. They had been going in circles, and somehow, they kept making things worse. Perhaps Cosette was right. Maybe this relationship was toxic. Maybe they would keep on hurting each other until someone had the balls to come out and end things for good.

The problem was, she did not want things between them to end. As fucked up as it was, she could not just cut things off with Enjolras although she knew it would make things between them much easier.

She kept giving him hope. He kept following her blindly. Both of them were too drunk in love to realize that they're destroying each other.

Eponine groaned as she massaged her head that ached badly for these few days. She could not sleep well these days. Guilt hunted her every night. Every time she closed her eyes, both Jesse and Enjolras came in her dreams. And she then would wake up feeling like there's a boulder crushing her chest, and she felt suffocated.

She heard the doorbell. Then, she got up and went to answer the door.

...................................

Her jaw dropped when she saw Jesse standing at her doorstep. He looked absolutely terrible. His eyes red, his nose was even redder, and there were eye bags under his eyes, proving that just like her, he had not been sleeping properly either.

"Jesse, what are you…"

She did not get the chance to finish her sentences when Jesse stepped forward and cupped her face, pulling her into a bruising, burning kiss. She responded immediately, kissing him back with equal fervour. She pulled him in and shut the door shut behind her.

She squealed slightly when Jesse pushed her against the door and kissed her possessively. Eponine ran her fingers through his hair as they kissed, and they kissed until they ran out of breath.

"I missed you," Jesse whispered, resting his forehead against her. Her dark gaze showed nothing but strong love and unwavering desire. She smiled, stroking his cheek and pressed a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.

"I missed you too"

"I am sorry, Eponine…"

"No, I am sorry…"

"Just shhh," Jesse pressed his index finger on her lips, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting you go the other day. I'm sorry for being a moron who is too blind to see how much you care about me. I'm sorry for hurting you the other day. I'm sorry for everything."

"Jesse…"

"I forgive you for what you did, okay? I don't care. I should've never let you go the other day, Eponine. Losing you is the worst thing I've ever done, and I am big, bloody mess when you're not with me. What have you done to me, Eponine? Why can't I stop thinking about you? Why have I fallen so deeply that I can't find my way out?"

Eponine looked down and softly said, "Do you want to find a way out?"

Jesse smiled, cupping her chin and bring her face back to him, "No."

"If you'd still have me," he said, "I still want to be with you. I want to see where things can go. I see a future with you, Eponine. And I am not ready to give up on you. No, I will never give up on you."

Eponine smiled at his words. She then brought his face closer to hers and before she kissed him, she said, "I'm not ready to give up on you too."

...........................................

Eponine woke up and found that Jesse was no longer beside her.

She then wondered whether yesterday was just a sweet dream.

Just as she began to worry about her sanity, she heard the bathroom door open and Jesse walked out. He clearly had just taken his shower, and he smiled when he realized that she had woken up.

"Morning, sunshine." He made his way to the bed and kissed her forehead. Eponine closed her eyes in contentment as she pulled the sheets closer to her body to cover her naked body.

"You're still here." Eponine stated as Jesse started to put on his pants.

He turned towards her and arched a brow, "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"I… I thought yesterday was just a dream. An amazing dream."

Jesse smiled cheekily, "I'm that good, huh?"

Eponine laughed and threw a pillow his way, "Oh, wipe that smug look off your face."

Jesse managed to catch the pillow before it hit his face. He looked at her in mock disbelief, but then smirked as he crawled back on the bed, making his way towards her.

"You like this face," he purred.

"Mhmm, I do," she replied, and giggled when he started to kiss her jaw, his stubble caused his kiss to tickle slightly, and she then turned them over so that she was now straddling him.

Leaning forwards, she kissed him passionately as his hands wander on her body, caressing every inch of her olive skin.

Just as things started to heat up, Eponine's cell phone rang. She decided to ignore it as she proceed kissing Jesse. But then she heard her cell phone beep again, indicating that there's a new text message. It beeped again and again, until Jesse himself could not stand it anymore.

"Oh God, that is annoying."

"I'm sorry," Eponine said shortly as she got off him and reached for her cell phone. She then read the messages, "It's Grantaire. He's wondering whether I'm coming to Cosette's house this Friday."

"Is it for that get together thing you guys always do every Friday?"

"Yep."

"Is Enjolras going to be there?"

Eponine faltered, "I suppose he will."

She turned to look at Jesse, "Are you okay with that?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course not."

"Jesse, I thought you believe me."

"I do, sweetheart, I do," Jesse answered sweetly, taking her hand in his, "I just don't believe him."

"Eponine, I'm not going to tell you what to do or what not to do. I have complete faith in you. I would be lying if I said that I'm comfortable with this, but I don't want to be the reason why you can't hang out with your friends. But if you truly care about me, you'd understand what I feel about Enjolras, and I am not comfortable with the prospect of you and him in the same room."

"Are you saying that I should not go?" Eponine asked. Jesse simply shrugged his shoulder as he began to put on the rest of his clothes.

"It's up to you. I believe you." Jesse said again, "I'm going to make some breakfast."

Once he was out of the room, Eponine felt the huge boulder that was lifted last night, came crushing her again. She darted her gaze from the door to her cell phone, and again, she had to make a decision and whatever her decision was, someone was going to get hurt.

She did not know how long had she been staring at her phone, but when she began to type her reply, her fingers were numb.

"No, R. I am not coming this Friday."

Or any other Friday.

Sighing, she put down her phone on the table next to her and put on some clothes. Eponine then went to the kitchen, and watched Jesse whistling off-key as he made breakfast.

Taking a deep breath, she faked a smile and joined him.

This was her letting go.

This was her future.

And she hoped with all her heart that she had made the right decision.


	19. The One in Which She Was Broken

Courfeyrac hesitated, thinking twice before getting out of his car to go to the kindergarten in which Cosette worked in. To go there to meet Cosette meant facing the possibility of seeing Eva again, and he was not sure whether he was up for it. After all, everything that happened between them was too complicated, too difficult to comprehend, too upsetting to be dealt with again.

He did not sign up for this.

Yet, he did not cower back to his car. He forced himself to remember that Eva and him were over for good now, so he had nothing to worry about. They were both mature adults, so they should be able to face each other and not hide like children who were afraid of their mothers after doing something wrong. It's all good. It's all good.

Ignoring the rapid pounding of his heart against his chest, Courfeyrac took a deep, assuring breath before shutting the door behind him and strode towards the school.

…

Things took a turn to the worst when it came to Eva and Courfeyrac. It had been a month since they slept together, which meant that it had been a month since she told him that she loved him, only to render him speechless and to have him not say it back. Also, it had been a month since they saw each other. It had been a month of him avoiding her, avoiding his feelings for her, avoiding… them.

He did not return her calls and her texts. This bothered Eva to no ends. Apparently, it affected her so much that she seemed distracted and restless at school. Cosette asked Courfeyrac about what happened between him and Eva as she was worried that he did something to hurt her friend. It was clear that she did not know that they had slept together, showing that whatever Eva was feeling, she kept it all to herself because Cosette was the only person she was comfortable enough to tell everything to. This showed that he had truly hurt her, for not only that she had to worry about them, but she also could not talk to anyone about her aching heart.

Courfeyrac gave Cosette some lame excuse about work when she pressed him about why he seemed to be avoiding Eva. He wondered why he even bothered to lie. Even he knew that work was a lame excuse, and there was no way that Eva was going to trust him. He did not know which was worse; that he refused to deal with the fact that he slept with his best friend and royally screwed things up, or that he would gladly lie to get himself out of talking to her about his feelings.

This was a jackass move. He knew that Eva deserved better than all this, but truth be told, as much as he wanted her, he was goddamn terrified of what was going to happen to them if they ever got together. There was no good excuse for his behaviour, but when he felt nothing but crippling fear when he thought about how serious things had gotten between him and Eva, he had to do what he had to do. It's easier to ignore your issues and wished them away instead of dealing with them.

Courfeyrac liked easy.

But Eva did not like waiting.

Therefore, he should not be surprised when Eva sent him an email that ended things for good.

"Courfeyrac,

There is nothing that I cherish more that what we had, but we clearly are not on the same page. Perhaps I was wrong for being too straight-forward. Perhaps I was wrong for refusing to lie about my feelings. But then, perhaps I was reading into everything, and maybe you never cared about me as much as I cared about you.

I will not go on about how disrespected, insulted, and worthless you made me feel this past month because I know you're too busy to care about all that. You're too busy to care about anything. Everyone kept telling me to take a hint and realize that you're just playing with me, and I refused to believe them at first, but now I know that they're right all along. See, I can take a hint, Courfeyrac, and I know that I am just a toy, and nothing more.

All these made me question our friendship, the very precious one that I hold close to my heart. Did you mean the things you said? Did you even appreciate the times we spent together? Did you even care about me, about what I told you, about everything I opened up to you?

I've told you this before, but I'm going to tell you again.

You mean the world to me and I care a lot about you. I love you, even.

But I cannot do this anymore. I cannot keep on hanging onto nothing. I am not that type of girl. I simply cannot wait for so long only to get my heart broken again and again.

I wanted nothing but to do this face to face, but you're avoiding me, and I'm too much of a coward find you and say all these to your face. In a way, we're both cowards. And that's what makes us so wrong together.

Thank you for everything, Courfeyrac. I hope everything goes well for you in your life, and if you can find even the slightest respect for me, you'd never look for me again, just like I'd never look for you.

Goodbye Courf.

Love,  
Eva."

Was he angry after he read her email? Of course he was.

Did he put all the blame on her? No. In fact, all blame was on him.

He broke her heart, and in a way, he broke his too.

…..

"Hey, ready to go to lunch?" Courfeyrac greeted, poking his head from Cosette's door. The blonde smiled when she saw his friend. Typing something on her laptop, she gestured him to come in and said, "I need to finish this report first. It won't be long. Come in."

Courfeyrac grinned and then sat on the chair in front of her. He looked around her organized office. There were many framed pictures on her wall, and Courfeyrac felt amused. One thing that Eponine and Cosette had in common was that they loved pictures. It was unlikely to see both of them without a camera in their hands whenever they went for an outing or a vacation.

Courfeyrac got up from his seat and started viewing the rest of the photos. There were pictures of them when they were in college, recent pictures of Cosette with Marius, Eponine and Grantaire, a picture of their get together when Musichetta came to town two weeks ago, and of course, a picture of Cosette and Eva. He paused when he saw that picture, and he realized that he hadn't seen her for over a month now. It struck him how much he missed her, her laughter, her voice, and the way she smiled when she looked at him.

It was like someone had cut open an old wound and left him bleeding.

Cosette seemed to notice that he was looking at the picture of Eva.

"You miss her?" she asked, her hand under her chin as she watched Courfeyrac. Her eyes showed that she already knew the answer.

Courfeyrac shrugged, "Why do you care? Aren't you the one who told me to stay away from her at the first place?"

"I never took you, or any of our friends, to listen to me whenever I forbid you guys to do something."

He could not help but to smile, "Maybe we're finally listening to you."

"We both know that's not the case." Cosette replied, leaning back on her chair as she crossed her arms.

"What do you want me to tell you, Cosette?" Courfeyrac replied a tad crossly, "Sometimes people fall apart. Sometimes even the closest friends stop talking to each other. Eva and I are just like any other people."

"Both of you are anything but like any other people. You're good for each other."

"You spent a whole lot of time trying to keep me away from your friend, but when we're no longer talking to each other, you're trying to convince me that she's good for me? You're not helping."

"I'm not trying to help you. You're the one who are able to help yourself. I'm trying to make you see sense," Cosette replied, "I admit that at first, I am less than enthusiastic about the prospect of both of you getting together. I thought you're just using her, that she's just another number to you. I was only trying to be a good friend."

She took a deep breath before continuing, "However, over time, I realized that you made her happier than I have ever seen her before. I also saw changes in you. You smiled more, you laughed more, and you're more excited about everything whenever she's around. I know love when I see it, and I have never seen two people more in love with each other than the two of you."

"You're wrong. I don't love her," Courfeyrac stated coldly.

"You know you cannot lie to me, Courfeyrac."

"I don't…" Courfeyrac began, but when he turned to look at Cosette in the eyes, words left him, and he avoided her gaze. She was right. He could not lie to her.

"Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you. What I know is that it's a shame that both of you are separated because of your egos." Cosette said, "I'm not going to interfere in your business, Courfeyrac. I think I've done enough of that. I just hope that you'd stop being in denial and go after her. Go after the girl of your dreams. I know this feeling is terrifying, that it's overwhelming, and I understand if you're afraid things might go wrong and you'd end up hurt. But trust me, it is better to fall and get hurt than to never fall and never know your chances, or what's waiting for you when get to the ground"

Feeling his head ached again, Courfeyrac decided that he did not want to listen to this anymore.

As if she could read his mind, Cosette got up from her seat and made her way to the door, "Just think about it, alright? Now, let's go."

Courfeyrac did not say another word to Cosette when they walked together to his car. Cosette was still talking, but everything she said was just noise to him as he could not stop thinking about Eva, about them, about what could happen.

Suddenly, Cosette came to a stop and he would stumble to her if she wasn't so quick to turn him around and started pushing him to the other direction.

"Cosette! What the hell?!"

"Y-you know what, I think we better use my car. I just realized that I don't like yours," she replied, sounding quite panicked. Courfeyrac's curiosity peaked, and he struggled to turn.

Cosette then said rather dejectedly and desperately, "Courfeyrac, whatever you do please, please don't turn around,"

"What the fuck are you talking ab-" Courfeyrac raised his voice as he turned but fell silent when he found out the reason why Cosette was so determined to get him away.

Eva was with another man. The man was tall, has squared jaw and red hair, and he was utterly gorgeous. Together, they looked like a perfect couple. Something that he and Eva could never be, Courfeyrac added in his mind. Also, judging by the way he was looking at her, he could tell right away that they were more than just friends. And judging by the way she was looking at him, she was falling for him fast.

"Oh, Courf, I am so, so sorry," Cosette cried, "Let's get out of here."

"Cosette, I…" Courfeyrac started, and was taken by surprise at how hoarse his voice had become. After clearing his throat, he continued, "I think I'm going back to the office. I don't feel like eating anymore."

"Courf…"

"Cosette please," Courfeyrac interjected, trying to keep his composure, although his heart was breaking and he felt like screaming, "I need to be alone."

He then started walking.

He did not know what he did after that. It seemed like his body had gone into an auto-pilot mode, and he was driving to anywhere his car took him. He felt sad, and crushed, but mostly angry at himself because he had met the right girl, but he chased her away. He kept beating himself up, and he continued to do it over and over again. He had lost her for good now, and the feeling of hopelessness, of despair overcame him and he wished that he could just cut out his heart and never had to feel anything anymore. Cosette was wrong. It was better to be in ignorance that to feel such excruciating pain.

He did not want to fall in love with Eva, but it was too late for that.

He was head over heels in love with her.

And the worse thing was that he knew that he would never stop loving her and although she could never be his, he knew that he would still love her.

This thought was not only hurtful, but it also frightened him to no end. He was so afraid of getting into a relationship with her that he forgot to think about what his life would be like when she's not around. He was so used to the thought that she was his just like he was hers that he forgot that they're not really together. Most of all, he did not realize that he had subconsciously trying to get over his fear, and now it's all for nothing because it was all too late.

He did not realize that he had driven himself to his office. The next thing he knew was that he had parked his car and was sitting alone in his car, thinking about Eva and how close she was to that stupid red haired man. His heart burned with jealousy and anger, but quickly cooled to sadness and frustration. It was all too much.

Shaking his head, he pretended to be strong and got out of the car. He then made his way to his office and tried to bury himself in work. Yet, the thought of Eva never left him, and Courfeyrac knew that the thought of the love of his life being with another man would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life.

…

Nothing about life was easy. Even our strong, resilient selves would be pushed to our limits at times, and the long, foggy road ahead seems even more exhausting than ever. When that happened, all we needed to do was to back out and take some time to gather our thoughts. Sometimes all we needed was to catch a breath. Sometimes all we needed was to be left alone.

Cosette came home and found Marius in their bedroom, packing his huge, blue luggage. She knew right away that he had to fly to another country for work.

She observed her boyfriend, and realized that he looked like a different man now. His eyes which used to be full of life were now dull and tired. The smile that used to never leave his face had disappeared and he wore the same solemn expression every day. His greying hair made him look ten years older than he really was. He was not the same man he used to be, and it took Cosette everything she had to stop nagging him about how he had been ignoring his health, his girlfriend, and his friends for the past few months.

And for what? For a job that did nothing for him but wore him out.

Cosette felt the changes in her too. Back then, she would jump in and help him pack. She would do anything to lighten his burden. However, after months of disappointment and pent-up anger, Cosette could no longer care. In fact, she could not care about anything anymore.

"You're back." Marius stated, smiling slightly when he saw her leaning against the doorframe, watching him.

"You're going somewhere?" she answered the statement with a question. Her tone was cold and distant, and it stung not only Marius, but also Cosette herself. What had happened between them?

"I need to be in the next flight to London." Marius said, resuming his previous activity, "Work."

"Of course," Cosette huffed, rolling her eyes before taking her gaze away from the man she loved. At her tone, Marius stopped packing his clothes, looking down before taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"Cosette, I really don't want to get into this with you right now."

"I'm not asking you to. I know better than to ask anything from you."

Cosette then turned her heels and made her way towards the kitchen. Her icy tone and unkind glare were enough to drive Marius crazy, so, despite himself, he grunted and followed her to the kitchen, where she was making herself a cup of tea.

"Want some?" she offered, not at all sincerely.

"Cosette, please," Marius pleaded, "Don't do this. You know I'm doing this for you, for us."

"I'm not doing anything. I'm not nagging you. I'm not even going to complain how you going to another country bothers me. I'm not even to say anything about how I have expected this. I am done, Marius. Done."

"Cosette, I…"

"I have something to show you," Cosette interjected. Marius seemed startled, but got quiet when Cosette took out a picture from her purse and handed it to him.

"The ultrasound of our baby," she stated icily, "I just thought you'd want to see it since you missed the appointments."

Marius' hand was shaking when he took the picture from Cosette's hand. He could feel her eyes on him as he looked at the picture, and he felt his breathing grew heavy because of the suffocating feel of guilt in his heart. He forced himself to look up and face Cosette, hoping that her gaze would soften, but she was just as unmoving as ever.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. He knew that it wasn't enough, but that was all that he managed to utter. He knew that Cosette was furious at him, and he could not blame her because what he did to her was uncalled for. He did not remember when was the last time he went to the doctor's appointment with her. He did not even know what was going on with her. Heck, he realized that they may live under the same roof, but they led different lives, as if they were two strangers.

"I know you are," Cosette whispered, tears threatened to fall from her bright blue eyes, "but 'sorry' isn't going to change the fact that you've basically abandoned me for the past few months, and you're going to do it again, now."

"Cosette, we've had this talk for millions of times," Marius tried to reason with her, "I really want to stay with you, I really do but…"

"You have some work to do," Cosette finished his sentence, "I know."

She didn't say anything after that, but Marius could tell that she was preparing herself to say something else. Years spent being her boyfriend caused him to know, to understand her body language more than anyone. Right now, she was hugging her body, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. Her eyes were watery, and she looked like she was trying so hard to keep herself from crying. She gritted her teeth, looking like she was in deep internal struggle. Marius knew right away that whatever she wanted to tell him, it was not going to be good.

"We need to talk," she finally said.

Alright, things were definitely not going to be good.

He could not bring himself to say anything, so he simply nodded and gestured her to continue.

She took a deep breath, wiped her tears and turned to look at him, "A few months ago, when you said that you would not be able to come with me to the doctor's appointment, I was gutted, but I understood that you had to work. After all, you just got a promotion and I understood that things were going to change and you would not be able to be there for me as often as you wanted to. I thought I was okay with the changes. I thought we would be fine because… because it's us, you know? I believed that there was nothing that we couldn't do as long as we're together."

"But then… then, you started working late, and you started to ignore your health, your friends, your home… and me. I understand that this is your dream job. That this is what you've wanted ever since you were a little kid. I would hate it to be the one who made you quit your dream job. So, I kept quiet. I held my tongue although I wanted to do nothing but to tell you to drop everything because you obviously could not handle the pressure. When you're struggling, I'm struggling too."

She then sat down, her eyes filled with tears, and she then took his hand in hers, "The pressure that we're under puts a strain on our relationship. I keep getting mad at you for breaking your promises, and you keep feeling guilty for breaking them. Yet, it's like we fell into the same negative pattern, in which I would be furious and you'd apologize and then we would not be speaking to each other in days. We're too angry, too frustrated with each other, but we kept it all bottled up."

"What are you trying to say, Cosette?" Marius asked, feeling fear crept in his guts. He did not like where this was going.

"What I'm saying is," Cosette continued, her voice broke and tears started to roll down her pale cheeks, "A few weeks ago, I went to the doctor's appointment alone. Then, I went for lunch alone. When I got bored, I called Grantaire or Eponine to keep me company. I went on being alone for days, and I did not even realize that you're gone. I was happy. I was fine being alone. I realized that I had been doing everything alone these days. I was fine on my own."

"Cosette…" Marius choked, "Are you… are you breaking up with me?"

She avoided his gaze, but the way her crying intensified proved that his guess was right.

"Cosette, don't," Marius realized that he too, was crying, "Don't do this to me. Don't do this to us. I love you. I love you."

He took both her hands and rested his forehead against hers. She was crying so hard by now. Marius kept whispering, "Don't. Please, don't" and closed his eyes, wishing that this was nothing but a nightmare, that he would wake up soon and found her sleeping next to him.

Please let this be a nightmare. Please. Please.

"I love you, Marius," Cosette whispered between her tears, "but I cannot do this anymore. I cannot spend another minute worrying about you overworking yourself. I cannot spend another minute worrying about us. I cannot bear the thought of us hating each other because we keep bottling everything up and avoid telling each other our frustrations."

"Cosette, no," Marius stated sternly, "I won't let you go. If you want to talk about us, then we'll talk. Heck, we'll go to a couple's counselling if you want to…"

"Marius, you can't even find the time to go to the doctor's appointments with me! Now you're talking about going to couple's counselling?"

"What I'm saying is that I'd never give up on us," Marius said, "And it hurts me to see how easily you give up, as if we mean nothing to you."

"You mean everything to me. Our baby means everything to me. But I need to make a decision. We're clearly on a different page. You want to build a career, and you need to focus on that. I want to start a family, and I am more than willing to put my full focus on it. We want different things. We're doing different things. Everything just doesn't work anymore!" Cosette cried, stepping away from Marius, as if trying to remind herself of her decision. Being around him was hard enough, and when he touched her, she never wanted him to let go. Yet, she needed him to let go. It's the best thing for both of them.

"So that's it?" Marius darted his gaze to her. His eyes red with tears, "We're over?"

Cosette nodded, looking down at the floor.

Marius stood up, quite surprised that he was even able to do so, considering how rubbery his legs felt. He turned to look at Cosette one last time, and when she still refused to look at him, he said solemnly, "I'd get my stuff after I get back from London. I need to go now."

Everything was a blur to Cosette after that. She heard Marius drag his luggage out the door before slamming the door shut. She jumped at the sound, as if it was the sound of her world crashing and crumbling down. She did not know how long she stood staring at the door. She did know how many times she replayed the scenario that just happened in her mind.

Then, she felt her legs gave in and she sat ungracefully on the floor.

Marius and her are over.

Reality sank in, and she felt like she could not breathe. Everything, for once, was out of her control.

She remained seated on the floor, crying her eyes out until it was dark outside. She did not even bother to pick up calls from her friends, probably wondering why she did not answer their texts. She could not bring herself to care about anything anymore. She could not even bring herself to care about herself anymore.

She just got her heart shattered into pieces. She was crushed. And most of all, she was broken.

And she knew that she was beyond repair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me. Typos are my own.


	20. The One with the Fights and the Last Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning : There's going to be some violence in this, and if you're not comfortable with it, please skip that part.

The thing about trust was that once it was broken, it could never be recovered. It was like a glass, clear and fragile, but once broken, the delicate thing would not look like it used to, nor would it be just as strong.

Jesse tried to comfort himself by saying that he trusted Eponine. The doubt that he felt in his heart whenever she told him that she was with her friends was because of the doubt he had for Enjolras. The thought of that man being in the same room as his girlfriend was enough to make his blood boil, just enough to turn him into a crazy, jealous paranoid.

Jesse thought he was a good judge of character. He was never wrong about anyone. But he was wrong about Enjolras.

Jesse was not an idiot. He was not ignorant either. Heck, he would not make it to where he was now if he didn't pay attention to everything that was happening around him. He was not blind. He studied everything.

Jesse noticed the tension between Enjolras and Eponine ever since Eponine first introduced him to Enjolras, and judging by the way they acted around one another, even a child could conclude that there were some unresolved issues between the two of them. He wanted to question Eponine about it but something told him that she was not going to appreciate him meddling with her business. His girlfriend was a reserved person and she kept her private life private. So, Jesse kept quiet and respected her privacy. He gave her his full trust. After all, if the unresolved issue between her and Enjolras was a serious one, Jesse was sure that Eponine would talk to him about it. As far as he was concerned, Enjolras was perhaps someone from Eponine's past whom she used to really care about. And past belonged to the past.

Or so he thought.

Despite his confusion about Eponine's relationship with Enjolras, Jesse thought Enjolras was a good man. After he told Enjolras about his real feelings for Eponine, Jesse honestly thought that he had made it clear to Enjolras that Eponine and him were serious, and that he was not just a rebound guy, or a fling. His relationship with Eponine was real and special. He hoped that Enjolras would understand, and that he would stay away from his girlfriend.

Therefore, he could not even begin to describe how angry and disappointed he was when Eponine confessed that she kissed Enjolras.

Jesse realized that he was wrong about Enjolras, and the worst of all was, he was wrong about Eponine too.

Kissing was a two person job. It would be easier for him to blame everything on Enjolras for making a move on his girlfriend, but he had to admit that Eponine was not a hundred percent innocent either. To be honest, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that perhaps Enjolras was innocent in this, and the person to blame was Eponine.

You could not kiss a man and then tell another man that you wanted him. You would not only confuse other people, but also yourself. She had always told him that he was an idiot for feeling insecure when it came to Enjolras, but just as he was an idiot for feeling that way, she was cruel for proving that his insecurity was not without a reason.

He had every right to be doubtful, especially when he was in love with someone who would always choose her ex over him.

Jesse was ready to let her go. Heck, his silence after she told him everything was his way of telling her to get out of his sight. He was so enraged by her betrayal that he never wanted to see her again.

Yet, the moment she walked out his door, he felt his anger quickly dissipated and changed into sadness and the void that he felt every day ever since Marissa died came back to haunt him, killing him inside.

Thus, began the longest week of his life.

Getting Eponine out of his head was impossible. She had him in her grasp. She had stolen his heart ever since he laid eyes on her. He could not focus on his work because he missed her so much. Hell, he never knew that he was even capable of missing another person like he missed Eponine.

He had lost count of the times he found himself holding the phone to call her so that he could hear her voice again. He didn't remember how many times he tried to delete her pictures from his phone but decided to keep them in the last minutes. He then often found himself having his driver go to her favourite ice-cream shop so that he could bump into her and see her smile again, but sadly she was never there.

Shit. He was head over heels in love with her.

He could not stop thinking about her, about how strong she was, how opinionated she was about everything around her, and about how beautiful she was. To him, she was a goddess. His goddess.

She was everything he wanted in a woman. Was he really going to let that go simply because she made one stupid mistake, which she had told him over and over again that she regretted it?

Also, was he really going to let her go? Was he really going to let Enjolras win?

He might be mad at her, but at the same time, he wanted to be with her. He did not know where they would go in this relationship, but he was sure that he was not going to let something as silly as this, or someone, get in the way of the wonderful possibilities.

Jesse was not a quitter. If anything, he was a fighter who would fight tooth and nails for what he wanted. He fought for anything that he thought was his.

And he was going to fight for his girl.

He recalled the surprised look on Eponine's face when he showed up at her door unannounced. He remembered the warmth that flooded his veins when he kissed her and she kissed him back. He would never forget the soaring feeling in his heart when she told him that she was not ready to give up on him too.

He meant everything he said to her, and he hoped she meant everything she said to him too.

He would never give up on her, and now that he got her, there was no way he was going to let any man take her away from him.

….

((Meanwhile…))

Eponine huffed as she sat across Combeferre in Musain. The man looked up from his newspaper, his eyebrows furrowed when he saw her all upset and bothered.

"Eponine," he greeted, "Are you alright?"

Eponine shook her head. She was quiet, but Combeferre knew that she was still fuming and this was her way to calm herself down. She knew better than to speak when she's furious. Nothing good ever came out of her mouth when she's angry because she would always say something that she'd regret later on.

Combeferre put down the newspaper and adjusted his glasses as he looked at her, giving her his full attention. He didn't like seeing her being upset, and that being said, she was often upset these past few weeks. Ever since she got back together with Jesse, it seemed like all the couple did was fight and argue. Eponine was angry at Jesse for being overprotective, and Jesse was mad at Eponine because he didn't think that she took him seriously. Combeferre had spent a lot of time with Eponine lately, and he was sure that 90% of that time was him listening to her complaining about Jesse.

It hurt him, but there was nothing he could do. After some time, he realized that there was nothing he could say to make thing better either. So, he reached out and held her hand, showing her that he was there and he would do anything she wanted to make her feel better. It was not much, but that was all he got.

When she felt his hand on hers, she looked up to him and cracked a little smile. She put her other hand on his as she took a deep breath. Whatever happened, she was thankful that Combeferre was there. He was one of her best friends, and she didn't know what she would do without him.

Eponine's touch caused tingles to run through his spine, and Combeferre bit his bottom lip to keep his composure. Then, reluctantly, he cleared his throat and let go of her hand, and she simply watched him, her expression unreadable.

Having Combeferre hold her hand made her forget her problems for a while, and everything came crashing back in when he let her go.

"Is this… is this about Jesse?" Combeferre questioned again and he leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. He then hesitated for a while before adding, "…again?"

"Yes," Eponine said simply, "He's being a total douche."

"What did he do now?" Combeferre asked calmly.

"I told him that I was going to see you today," Eponine replied shortly before falling silent.

Combeferre raised a brow, "I am going to need more explanation."

"Why do you need more explanation?" Eponine snapped, "You can figure it out yourself. You're Enjolras' best friend. He hates Enjolras. So somehow he has this crazy idea that you're going to convince me to cheat on him and get back together with Enjolras."

"That's just stupid. Why would I do that?"

"That's exactly what I said! Because of that, he was cold and distant to me all morning and we just had a huge fight before I stormed out of his place." Eponine shook her head, clearly stressed out of her mind, "I like Jesse, Ferre, but I cannot stand this. He doesn't own me. I can go out to see my friends whenever the fuck I want!"

She slammed the table, causing Combeferre to jump.

"Now, now, calm down. There's no need to raise your voice and create a scene," Combeferre hushed, smiling apologetically at people at other tables who started to look at Eponine as if she was crazy, "I'm sure Jesse is sorry for his behaviour and he's going to apologize once he's cooled down."

"It's not just that, Ferre. I just… I don't think he trusts me. We tried, Ferre. We tried to hard but things between us are not like it used to be. He's still the same man he was before, but you should see the way he tensed and get angry whenever I talk about you guys. It's like he's a different person altogether."

"Did he forbid you to see any of us again? Is that why we hardly see you every Friday?"

"He doesn't forbid me. Hell, he didn't even tell me do anything," Eponine answered, "It's just… he is so uncomfortable about me being close to Enjolras, so I tried to avoid Enjolras. But like it or not, Enjolras is my friend. All of you are my friend. To cut off contact with one means cutting off contact with all, and I cannot have that. I don't know what I should do to make him realize that I'm with him now, and for our relationship to work out, he needs to trust me."

"I am not taking his side, Eponine," Combeferre started, "but have you thought that this behaviour of his might be because of what happened the night you brought him to Cosette's place two weeks ago?"

Eponine fell silent. A part of her wanted to be angry at Combeferre for bringing that up, but she couldn't deny that he might be right.

She surely remembered that night. It was one night that her, or any of the Amis, would never forget.

….

Two weeks ago...

"Thank you for doing this, Jesse. This means the world to me," Eponine remarked as they reached Cosette's place. She turned around to look at her boyfriend who was smiling down at her.

Although he was smiling, Eponine could see doubt in his eyes, the very doubt that existed ever since they got back together. He never looked at her the same way he used to, and despite him being the sweetest man he always was, Eponine could not shake off the feeling that things between them had changed, and no matter how hard she tried, she would never get rid of the doubt that already existed in him, and she would never get his trust back.

Yet, she would never stop trying.

She could not blame him for feeling so. After all, she did cheat on him, and although he was thoroughly hurt by her action, he stayed with her. He loved her. And love was something worth fighting for.

Eponine had given up on love before, and she was not going to do it again.

The door opened a minute after she rang the doorbell. Cosette beamed when she saw her friend, quickly pulling her into a hug as it had been a while since she saw her. Her smile faltered when she saw Jesse, but she quickly hid it by inviting them both in. Jesse nodded curtly, taking Eponine's hand in his as they strutted into Cosette's house.

All her friends were already there. Eponine scrutinized the room, and much to her dismay, Enjolras was there. He was talking to Feuilly, but as if he could feel her gaze on him, he turned his head to her direction. His expression was unreadable as always, but Eponine felt her heart flutter at the sight of him. She had not seen him for a while now, not since Jesse and her got back together, and she realized that she had missed him.

She felt Jesse's grip on her hand tighten, so she broke their gaze and turned back to Jesse, and whispered, "Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

Jesse's expression softened, and slowly, he let go of her hand.

"Do you mind if I steal Eponine for a sec, Jesse?" Cosette's cheerful voice interrupted their moment, "It's been a while. We have lots of catching up to do."

Eponine could sense a little bitterness in Cosette's voice. She knew that the blonde was angry at Jesse for keeping Eponine away from her. No matter how much Eponine tried to convince her that not coming to Cosette's house every Friday was her choice, and not Jesse's, Cosette knew better and concluded that Jesse must played a part in that.

"Sure, I'll be over there," Jesse gestured to the drinks. Eponine smiled gratefully at him, secretly glad that he did not say anything about Cosette's attitude.

Eponine and Cosette went to the kitchen. There, Cosette took out a bottle of wine from her cabinet, poured Eponine a glass and sat across her at the table.

"How are you holding up?" Eponine started, wondering how her friend was dealing with her break up with Marius. To be honest, she was still in denial about it all. Cosette and Marius had been together since college, and they were the ultimate power couple in their group. Eponine knew that they were struggling with their differences these days, but she never thought that Cosette would actually break up with Marius because of it. Eponine blamed it on Cosette's hormones at first, saying that they would get back together soon enough. Yet, when they still remained separated, everyone had to accept the fact that they had broken up, and that was surprisingly hard for all of them.

"I'm doing fine. I'm used to being alone. It's not any different from when we're together," Cosette said dismissively, looking down at her glass of water.

"Do you miss him?" Eponine continued. The sadness in Cosette's eyes gave Eponine the answer to her question. "Have you talked to him since you two broke up?"

"A couple of times," Cosette answered, but did not elaborate further. Then, without any warning whatsoever, she sobbed, "I miss him so much."

"Aw, sweetie," Eponine quickly rose from her seat and went to sit next to Cosette. The blonde started sobbing hysterically as Eponine pulled her into a hug, "You'll be okay. I promise you, you'll be okay. We're here for you, alright?"

"Did I make a huge mistake, Ep?" Cosette asked between her tears, "I feel like I did. I thought I'd be okay being on my own, but I miss him every single day. I miss him so much that it actually hurts. I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I cannot even think properly. Everything reminds me of him, and everything in me tells me to call him and bring him back."

Eponine felt a surge of hope in her heart, "Then bring him home, Cosette. You both belong together, not apart."

Cosette sobbed even harder, "How could I, Ep? I've made up my mind. I've pushed him away. I've hurt him in ways I promised I would never do."

"And despite everything, Marius would still love you. He would always… he would always love you." Eponine said softly, but her thought was no longer on Cosette and Marius, but Enjolras instead.

He still loved her. Somehow that thought made her heart soar and clench at the same time.

Eponine did not know how long she spent trying to comfort Cosette, but by the time she emerged from the kitchen to the living room, she realized that it was already quite late. She searched for Jesse, and found him talking to Jehan.

Jesse, although he looked tired, was listening intently to Jehan talking about his arts. He saw her watching him, and he gave her a little smile, before turning his full focus back to the other man.

Eponine grinned. That's what she loved about Jesse. No matter how tired he was, he always gave his best to other people. Eponine knew that it was because of his past with Marissa. She faltered when she remembered how hurt Jesse was after Marissa's passing. It struck her that their relationship was just as new to him as it was to her. In a way, they were both learning to love again.

Eponine figured that she could let Jehan talk to Jesse for a while, so she went to get a drink, and then made her way to the balcony. She looked up at the sky, smiling at the moon, and thought about her life, thought about Jesse. Sure, their relationship was not perfect. Yet, what relationship was?

Your relationship with Enjolras was perfect, a voice in her replied.

She scowled, fingers tightening around the glass as she tried to block that thought.

She could not lie to herself though. What she had with Enjolras was perfect. Sure, it was not the conventional sense of perfect. They still fought like every couple, they had their differences, they had their misunderstandings. However, their fights never made her feel… suffocated. Enjolras never made her feel like she was drowning. She never had to worry about him because he trusted her completely. He loved her completely… and she loved him completely too.

"Hey," a voice interrupted her thought. She turned to her side, and saw Enjolras standing next to her. His eyes seemed a little guarded, as if he thought she didn't want him here, but he could not go because he wanted to talk to her about something.

It's amazing how she knew what he was thinking by just looking at him in the eyes.

"Hey." Eponine greeted, "How are you?"

"I'm doing fine," Enjolras smiled. Eponine averted her gaze, ignoring how the beating of her heart picked up a pace when he smiled at her.

"How about you? I suppose you're doing fine as well?" Enjolras could not help the bitterness in his tone, "I heard you and Jesse made up. Congratulations."

Eponine merely nodded as words had failed her. She didn't know what to say.

He was silent for a while. Then, he spoke again, "Are we ever going to talk about what happened between us?"

"Enjolras, you know that was a mistake."

"Really?" he said, annoyance clear in his voice, "because it sure didn't feel like it that night."

"I don't know what you want me tell you, Enjolras,"

She heard Enjolras move, and she was taken by surprise when she found that he was now standing so close to her. She looked up to him, staring into his ocean blue eyes that never failed to take her breath away. She kept a straight face, refusing to let him see his effect on her.

"I want you to stop being in denial and just admit that this thing between us is far from over. I know it, you know it. You know that I still love you, and you love me too. Why can't you just admit that?"

"You're crazy," Eponine chuckled bitterly, darting her gaze away from him.

"Then look at me in the eyes and tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that I'm not reading into everything. Eponine, please, just… just tell me."

He sounded so unsure and if she was right, scared. Most of all, he sounded hurt.

"Enjolras, I…" Eponine started, but fell silent almost immediately, as if her voice was stuck in her throat. She could not bring herself to say it. She felt like she would be lying if she did.

"Tell me." Enjolras repeated, his hand cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. His hand then moved from her chin to her cheek, stroking it slightly. He stared at her lips, and she felt like she was entranced. Was he going to kiss her?

Then, out of the blue, they heard the balcony door open, and they both turned to look at the person who interrupted their moment.

Eponine's eyes widened in terror.

It was Jesse.

…

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Jesse said maliciously, venom dripping in his words. His eyes showed nothing but anger and jealousy, and Eponine realized how bad this must looked. Enjolras and her were standing too close to each other, and his hand on her cheek and his face so near hers definitely did not make things better.

So, she pushed Enjolras away and walked tentatively to Jesse.

"Jesse, this is not like what you think it is. I-I can explain."

"Alright," Jesse crossed his arms, his eyebrow raised "Start."

"We were just talking…" Eponine started, but then Jesse scoffed bitterly, shooting an angry look at Enjolras.

"Didn't seem like it," Jesse replied, turning his glare to Eponine. Eponine gulped. She had never seen Jesse this furious.

"Jesse, you have to believe me. Nothing happened!" Eponine pleaded, moving towards him and tried to hold his hand. Jesse swatted her hand before she got a grip.

"Trust you?!" he exclaimed, "You're asking me trust you, when you're out here with him?!" he gestured at Enjolras, "You know that I'm not comfortable with you being alone with him."

"Jesse, please," Eponine pleaded again, but this time, Enjolras stepped forward.

"Jesse, you have to believe her. Nothing happened. She's right. We're just talking." He tried to calm Jesse down. Enjolras stole a glance at Eponine, his heart crushed when she looked so scared of the possibility of losing Jesse again.

"You, shut up. This is between me and Eponine."

"It obviously is also about me. So, whatever you want to say, say it to me, instead of hiding behind your girlfriend like a bloody coward."

Jesse gritted his teeth. He was now downright outraged.

"No, Jesse, please, don't do this here," Eponine started to panic when Jesse walked towards Enjolras. Her hand tugged his sleeves, but no avail. She tried to stand between the two men, but Jesse pushed her away.

"Alright, I'm going to say this straight to your face. Eponine is mine. We are together now. And you, you need to back off. You don't think I know your feelings for her? Man, you and her are over. For good. And if you have the slightest bit of decency, you'd fuck off and leave her alone."

"Is that what she wants? You cannot tell her what to do, and you most certainly have no right to tell me to stay away." Enjolras answered, his tone deep and malicious.

"I have no right? Me? Fuck man, it's you who have no right. You have no right to play with her mind, to toy with her feelings and to make her doubt every decision that she makes. She is not supposed to even be thinking about you."

"Maybe she's still thinking about me because she still loves me, you bloody idiot. She loves me, and not you."

"Enjolras!" Eponine gasped, surprised that Enjolras would say that to Jesse's face.

Jesse looked downright livid. His fists clenched at his sides, and Eponine knew right away that things were going to get ugly.

Then, without warning, Jesse swung his right arm and punched Enjolras' jaw, causing the man to fall back on the floor. Eponine screamed in shock when Jesse punched Enjolras, and she quickly tried to stop Jesse by standing in front of him, pushing him away from the other man.

Her effort was fruitless. Jesse could easily push her away from him as he was not done with Enjolras.

Enjolras, who did not expect that Jesse would actually punch him, quickly got to his feet and shoved the man away from Eponine and hit him square on the nose, drawing warm gush of blood. Despite the prickling pain, Jesse regained his composure quickly and punched Enjolras right in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Enraged, Jesse did not stop as he punched him again, and again repeatedly, each punch harder than before, as he let his anger, frustration and jealousy overtook him. Enjolras roughly kicked Jesse's shin, causing the man to scream in pain, and Enjolras took this chance to shove Jesse away from him before he could throw another punch.

There were only a few seconds of pause before the man started fighting again, despite Eponine's pleas for them to stop.

Eponine's scream and the sounds of things breaking attracted the Amis who were in the living room and they all rushed to the balcony, taken by surprise when they saw the two men fighting. Feuilly and Bahorel quickly pulled Jesse away from Enjolras, and Combeferre and Courfeyrac quickly helped Enjolras back on his feet. Grantaire quickly went to the clearly distressed, and in shock, Eponine, putting his arm around her as he shot angry look at both Jesse and Enjolras.

"What the fuck is going on here?!" Grantaire exclaimed furiously, his grip on Eponine's shoulder tightened as he realized that his best friend was shaking head to toe.

Jesse glanced at Eponine who refused to meet his eyes. Then, he roughly pulled himself out of Bahorel and Feuilly's grasps and walked out of Cosette's house without saying another word, slamming the door behind him.

Eponine, who now had tears in her eyes, looked at Enjolras. He looked severely beaten up, but he stared at her stubbornly, as if waiting for her to say something.

She shook her head, and without saying another word, released herself from Grantaire and quickly ran after Jesse.

…

A few days later, Enjolras heard loud, furious knocks on his door and he knew right away who was on the other side. Against his tired and sore self, he got up and went to answer the door anyway.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Eponine basically screamed as she pushed Enjolras out of the way to get into the apartment and made her way towards the living room. Enjolras pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He knew this would happen.

"Eponine, just ca-" his sentence were cut short by another angry outburst from Eponine.

"I will not calm down! You cannot say those things to my boyfriend, Enjolras! You can hate Jesse all you want but he is my boyfriend now, and I like him! You and I are over long time ago. And in case you don't remember, you cheated on me and now, I have moved on. Why can't you let me be happy?" Eponine exclaimed, and she was so angry that she felt like she was going to burst.

"You can't be happy if you're with him, and you know that." Enjolras replied calmly, approaching Eponine without fear. She could hit him, she could yell at him, but he knew that he was right, "You know deep in your heart that you still love me."

"You conceited jerk," Eponine pushed him away, "You have no right to meddle with my life like that! You are not my boyfriend and I am no longer your girlfriend. I have never needed you to save me from my troubles. If being with Jesse is a mistake, then it's up to me to decide that it's a mistake. Not you, not our friends, not anybody! I can bloody take care of myself!"

She made her way to the door and Enjolras was sure that she was going to storm out. However, she stopped and made her way back to the living room. She walked until she was right in front of him, facing up to him, her eyes blazing with fire. Livid as ever, she exclaimed, "So what if I still love you? We are over, Enjolras. We broke up years ago, and even though I still have feelings for you, it doesn't mean that we're getting back together. We're toxic, Enjolras. We do nothing but hurt each other. I am not good for you, just as you're not good for me."

Enjolras shook his head, "Can't you see, Eponine? We both deserve another change. We need that! I still love you, alright? And I know that I will never stop. And you will not too!"

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER, ENJOLRAS!"

"WELL IT MATTERS TO ME. YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT YOU LOVE ME TOO, HOW THE HELL AM I EVER GOING TO LET YOU GO AFTER THIS?" Enjolras yelled, running his hand through his hair, trying to contain his frustration, "It hurts, you know? You and him… how am I supposed to live when I know that that could be us if you give me a chance? The thought of you and him drives me crazy. We belong together, Eponine."

Eponine shook her head, darting her gaze away from Enjolras. She didn't know what to do or what to say. She loved him too, but how could she ever get back together with him after everything that happened between them?

"I love you, Eponine. I love you thoroughly and badly. I love you all the time. It's you. It's always you, and it's always going to be you."

Tears streamed down her face. She whispered, "I… I can't do this."

She tried to walk away, but Enjolras held her by her arm, and she froze.

"Am I fooling myself, Eponine? Is there absolutely no chance for us? Please tell me, tell me and put me out of my misery."

Eponine turned to him, speechless and at loss of words. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know what she should do. She felt stuck, and the broken look on Enjolras' eyes didn't make anything better. She loved him too. She would always love him, but could they be together after everything?

Sorrow filled her heart as she knew that she was not ready to accept him back. She didn't know if she would ever be ready. She loved him, yes, but she loved him then but she still hurt him. Why would it be different this time?

Truthfully, she was tired of hurting everyone around her. She needed to put her foot down.

She gazed into Enjolras' eyes, as if there would be answers to her questions in them. Reaching out, she stroked his cheek, admiring his handsome feature which she would not get tired looking at. She loved being this close to him, she liked being in his warm embrace. It felt right, although she wished with all her heart that it would feel wrong.

Eponine felt herself moving closer to him, and he met her halfway.

He had never kissed her like that before. It was like he felt like this was going to be their last kiss. All pent-up frustrations, anger, jealousy, and love were translated into one kiss. It was passionate just as it was sweet. It was desperate just as it was slow.

Eponine's arms snaked around his neck, while his traced her spine down to her waist, where he pulled her body so close to him that she could almost feel his heart beating rapidly against hers. She too could feel her feet turning weak and was glad that she was pressed flush against him. She cursed herself internally for still melting under his touch.

She didn't want it to end. Here, she could pretend that everything was alright. She could pretend that her feelings were not some mess that she did not know how to fix. As he kissed her, making her feel like she was the most precious little thing in the world, she realized that she would always love him. There was no one that she would love more in this world than him.

But this was wrong. It felt right, but it was wrong.

It was probably the hardest, and probably the worst thing that she had ever done. With great effort, she pulled back. She could feel Enjolras' confused gaze on her. She struggled to speak her mind, and it didn't help when he still had his arms around her. Fighting back tears, she forced herself to look at him.

"We cannot be together. Not now, not ever." She blurted the cold hearted truth, "I… I'm with Jesse now, and I need to make things work with him."

Then, she released herself from his embrace and rushed towards the door without even a glance at Enjolras. She could not even look at him, knowing that she would come running back to him if she did.

Sadness filled her heart, followed by an unexplainable dread, as if she had done something terribly wrong. She never knew that she could hurt this much, and as much as she tried, she could not stop herself from crying again.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed as she walked out his door.

"I'm so sorry." She repeated again and again as she ran, but none of her words matter now as she had crushed his heart into millions of miniscule pieces.

She had broken the heart of a man she loved, a heart of a man she could never have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Do leave me some reviews, bad or good, compliments or criticisms, I don't mind. Your reviews really help me to become a better writer and that's something I really need. Also, if you have other questions or you just want to talk, you can talk to me on my Tumblr, xsummerspiritx . tumblr . com .


	21. The One in Which a Friend Came to Visit

It was not easy for them to mend their relationship after the night at Cosette's place, but somehow, Jesse and Eponine made it work. Sure, she had to stand a few weeks of him pissing her off in tiniest little details, had to listen to how difficult it was for him to trust her and how betrayed he felt after everything that happened, but she was patient, and she pulled through.

What's a relationship without some rough patches?

Either way, Eponine was glad that Jesse and her were in good terms.

Eponine smiled, leaning back on the couch as she put her feet on the coffee table. She watched Jesse and Gavroche playing video games together. Their faces contorted in concentration as they were immersed in the game, determined to win.

They were now at Jesse's place. Gavroche had come to visit for a few days and Jesse had offered them to stay here. His father insisted that he should take a few days off work, and Jesse was bored out of his mind when he had to stay home. He wanted to take a trip, but Eponine had work to do, and he didn't feel like going alone. So, he was stuck in the city.

But with Eponine and Gavroche here, he felt much better.

Eponine was happy with Jesse. She loved waking up next to him in the morning. She loved making breakfasts for him and Gavroche, laughing when they both woke up simultaneously to see what's for breakfast. She was relieved to see Jesse getting along so well with her brother. Most of all, she loved seeing him after a long day at work, and talking to him about her day every night, falling asleep in his embrace and then woke up to do the routine all over again the next day.

She was happy, which was why she didn't understand why she kept checking with Combeferre about how Enjolras was doing. There must be a reason why despite waking up in the morning next to Jesse, it was Enjolras who occupied her thought every single morning. Every time her phone rang, she kept hoping that it was Enjolras because she missed him terribly. Also, she was alarmed by how she liked making French toast with honey in the mornings, for it was not her or Jesse's favourite breakfast, but Enjolras'. He was on her mind 24/7, and she felt like she was going crazy with guilt and longing.

Yet, no one could know about this. She didn't tell this to anyone. This was her little secret.

Gavroche's phone buzzed, and the boy paused the game, ignoring a groan from Jesse who apparently, was winning.

"Hey Ep, Courf is waiting for me downstairs," Gavroche suddenly spoke, looking up from his phone, "I'm going out with him and R. He'll drop me here tomorrow. I'll see you then?"

"Yeah, sure," Eponine smiled, "Go ahead. Tell them I said hi."

Eponine did not miss the way Jesse's smile faltered at the mention of Courfeyrac and Grantaire's name. He was still uncomfortable with how the Thenardiers were still connected with his arch enemy's friends, but although he wanted to, he couldn't have a say on whom Gavroche hung out with.

In a way, Eponine was satisfied that Gavroche put his foot down on that matter.

Gavroche grinned slyly at both Jesse and Eponine before he walked out, "You two kids have fun."

Eponine rolled his eyes while Jesse threw a cushion at Gavroche, only to miss as the boy was quick on his feet. He stuck his tongue out at Jesse, and then winked at Eponine before walking out the door.

"Hey you," Jesse said to Eponine, snaking his arm around her waist as he pulled her closer to him.

"Hey you," Eponine beamed, putting her mug on the table before moving back into Jesse's embrace. She then leaned closer and kissed him softly, hoping that it was not obvious that she was just thinking about his mortal enemy earlier.

Jesse kissed her back just as softly and sweetly, leaning back on the couch, allowing Eponine to climb on top of him. She then kissed him fiercely and more sensuously, smiling slightly as she felt him running his hand through her hair, while the other grabbed her ass.

"Bedroom?" she whispered to his ear, her voice husky, causing him to shiver slightly.

"Yes, please."

....................................................................

"Yes, mom. Uh-huh, alright, okay. Yes, I will mark that date on my calendar. I know! You don't have to remind me every time. Alright, okay, alright. I love you too. Bye,"

Jesse shook his head as he hung up the call, amused smile adorning his lips.

"Who was that?" Eponine asked. Her mouth was full as she was eating her breakfast. Jesse chuckled as he looked at his girlfriend.

"My mom. My parents are coming to town this weekend." he answered, "And don't talk while your mouth is full."

Eponine smiled, her mouth was still full, "If I don't want to?"

"Then you're going to spit your breakfast out. You're basically wasting food," Jesse said after a thought. He then beamed, "You said you hate wasting things."

Eponine rolled her eyes and she swallowed her breakfast, "Fine. I knew telling you things about myself will come back and bite me in the ass."

Jesse laughed, turning his attention back to his phone. He was silent for a while, and Eponine was about to ask what's on his mind when he finally spoke.

"Listen, Eponine," he said, "There's something that I wanted to talk to you about."

Eponine stopped eating, froze in her actions. Oh boy, why did she have a feeling that she was not going to like this?

"Why don't you come see them when they're here?"

Eponine blinked, confused.

"I'm sorry. See who?"

Jesse smiled, "I want you to meet my parents."

"Meeting your parents? Are you serious?" Eponine gasped, panic rose in her chest and she suddenly felt like she could not breathe.

He couldn't be serious. They were still new in this relationship. Were they ready for this type of commitment? Wasn't this too fast for both of them?

"Why not? They already know that you're my girlfriend. I'm sure they'd be delighted to see you." Jesse tried to persuade her, reaching out to hold her hand. A hopeful smile formed on his beautiful face, a smile that Eponine found hard to say no to.

Eponine's jaw dropped when she realized that he was dead serious about this. She cleared her throat, looking down at her food. She had definitely lost her appetite.

She felt sick.

"Are we… are we ready for that?" she croaked, trying hard to hide the fear in her voice. She looked up to Jesse slowly, quite frightened to see his response.

Jesse's eyebrows furrowed. He looked confused, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we've only been dating for a few months. I am not sure if I'm ready to meet your parents. It's a pretty big step."

"Well, we are serious, right?" Jesse let go her hand, crossing his arms across his chest as he leaned back to observe her reaction, "Are you having second thoughts about us?"

Eponine groaned, "Not this again!"

"What?!"

"You need to stop asking me those things! I have told you over and over again that I am serious about us, and I am not having second thoughts! I am just not sure whether seeing your parents now would be a wise choice!"

"Why the hell not?"

"It's just… it's just…" Eponine tried to come up with an answer. When she could not think of any, she simply grunted and took her plate to the kitchen.

Unfortunately, Jesse followed her.

"No, Eponine. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"It's a huge step for me, alright? I promised myself that I will never see my boyfriend's parents unless…"

She stopped mid-sentence, as if regretting everything that had just came out of her mouth. God, this was exactly why Combeferre reminded her over and over again to not say anything when she was emotional.

Once words were uttered, you couldn't take them back.

Avoiding his gaze, Eponine turned away, focusing her energy on the dishes.

"Unless what?" Jesse's tone cold and icy, "Unless you're sure that you're going to be with that person for the rest of your life? Unless you're sure that you're not going to chicken out on the relationship last minute? Unless you're sure that you have feelings for your boyfriend only and not anyone else?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Eponine exclaimed angrily, facing Jesse, frustrated with this argument which they had had countless of times.

"It means that you still have feelings for another man and you're having second thoughts about me!"

"How many times are we going to argue about this, Jesse?" Eponine exclaimed furiously, "I am not having second thoughts about us! I am here with you, which means I chose you. I cut off all contact with Enjolras simply because I want to be with you. I haven't talked to him for weeks! And he was my friend since college! Do you have any idea how cutting off contact with a friend hurt? I did everything I could to make you happy but you still doubt me! What else am I supposed to do?!"

"Tell me that you don't love him," Jesse said, and unlike her, he was calm, but his eyes were blazing with fire, and this somehow made him much scarier, "Tell me that you no longer have feelings for him. Tell me that he means nothing to you now. Tell me that you mean everything you said to me."

His gaze on her was hard and uncaring. She chuckled bitterly, still in complete disbelief that he would ask her such things.

Jesse waited for her answer, and when she didn't say anything, he shook his head.

"I thought so," he said bitterly before taking his bag and walked out of his home, slamming the door behind him.

And despite herself, Eponine found herself thinking about Enjolras, and how she slammed the door behind her a few weeks ago after breaking his heart.

.................................................................

Enjolras was reading the documents that Combeferre sent him when he heard knocks on his office door.

"Come in!" he called, not bothering to look up from his work.

"Hey, handsome," a woman's sultry voice greeted him. He looked up, the frown on his face immediately curved into a wide smile when he saw who it was.

It was Quinn, his best friend since childhood. It had been a while since he heard anything from her. The last time he talked to her was about a year ago, and he did not need to be reminded about what happened between them then. Shaking off the memory from his head, he quickly got to his feet to greet the woman with chestnut curls and cherry lips, who opened her arms wide to hug Enjolras.

"I didn't know that you're in town! Why didn't you give me a call?" Enjolras questioned after she let him go. "Take a seat. We have lots to catch up on," he gestured to one of the sofas.

Quinn sat on the plush white sofa, patting the empty space next to her, a motion that asked him to join her. She then said, "I wanted to surprise you. I take it that my plan succeeded?"

"Yes, it did," Enjolras said, sitting beside her, "It's been a while, Quinn. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Gabriel," Quinn replied with a pretty smile on her face, "How long has it been? Six? Seven months?"

"A year, actually. I haven't heard anything from you for a year."

Enjolras did not bother to hide the bitterness in his tone. Quinn's smile faltered. She sighed, placing a hand on Enjolras' thigh as she looked at him.

"I'm sorry. It's just… after everything that happened, I needed some time alone."

"It doesn't hurt to pick up the phone once in a while to let you know that you're doing okay, you know?"

"I know, but… what can I say, Enjolras? I was embarrassed."

Enjolras sighed as he leaned back on the sofa, breaking his gaze from Quinn. Guilt started to consume him as he remembered how badly things turned between them the last time they met.

Enjolras and Quinn grew up together. Her parents were his family's friend, and she often came by his house to play with him. Other than the Amis, the one person that he would trust with his life was Quinn. She knew him better than anybody. She was there for him during his rebellious teenage years, joining him when she agreed with his ideals, keeping him on the ground once he was a little over his head. They spent most of their times together as their parents were hardly at home. They were each other's best companions.

They knew each other's secrets. Except that Enjolras did not know one of Quinn's.

He didn't know that she was in love with him.

She confessed her feelings for him when they were having dinner at her place about a year ago.

….........................................................

((a year ago))

"Gabe, I… I have something to tell you," Quinn suddenly said. Enjolras looked up from his phone – he was checking his emails - and startled when he saw how nervous Quinn was.

"What is it?" he asked, putting his phone down.

Quinn seemed to be battling with herself. Then, she said, "You know what, forget it. I… I forgot what I wanted to say. Are you finished?"

She talked fast, and before Enjolras could answer, she quickly took his plate and hers and disappeared into the kitchen. Enjolras frowned. He knew his friend very well. She was hiding something. And he couldn't let that.

"Quinn," Enjolras appeared in the kitchen, finding her leaning against the refrigerator, trying to catch her breath. She always seemed to have serious trouble breathing when she was extremely nervous.

"Are you okay?" Enjolras asked, stepping closer to her. She quickly walked to the sink next, avoiding him.

"I'm okay, Gabriel. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you're acting strange, and you seem so nervous out of the sudden. What is wrong?"

"I'm fine!" she insisted, but she had her back on him, so he couldn't tell her if she was really okay.

"Quinn," Enjolras cooed, "You're a terrible liar, so why bother?"

"Come on, tell me what's wrong." Enjolras tapped her lightly on her shoulder. She didn't budge.

Enjolras grinned, circling his arms around her waist, hearing her breath hitch.

"Quinn, I'm your friend. If there's something bothering you, you need to tell me," he whispered, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"That tickles," she said softly, pressing her hand on her mouth to stop giggling when Enjolras' stubble rubbed against her neck. Enjolras grinned, doing it again and she laughed.

"Stop it!" she tried to face him but he kept her there.

"Not until you tell me what's going on!"

"Gabriel!"

"Quinn!"

"Gabe, stop!" she laughed.

"Come on, your secret's safe with me!"

"No!"

"Quinn!" he hugged her tighter.

"Alright, fine!" she said, and Enjolras stopped.

"Gabriel... Gabe, I'm in love with you," Quinn blurted out, and breathed after she told him the truth.

Enjolras froze, and wondered if he heard things right. However, judging by the way Quinn froze too, Enjolras knew that he heard the right thing.

Slowly, Quinn turned to face him. She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him, waiting for his answer.

"I'm in love with you," she repeated, watching him expectantly.

It was Enjolras' turn to feel so nervous that he felt like he couldn't breathe. He tried to remember Courfeyrac's advice on handling things like this, and then he cursed himself mentally for tuning out when Courfeyrac was talking because he didn't think that he would ever be in that kind of situation. He was sure that he would remain devoted to Eponine until the day he died.

Well, fuck him. Look at how things turned out.

When he found that Quinn was still looking at him, he said the worst possible thing anyone could ever say to someone who had just confessed their love to another person.

"… thank you." he uttered, feeling his heart clench when he saw the broken look on Quinn's eyes.

…..................................................

"Anyways, these things happen. There's no use looking back at them now," Quinn suddenly spoke when he remained silent for God knew how long.

"Yeah, I suppose." Enjolras replied, turning his gaze back to her. She was still watching him, a smile adorning her lips.

"What are you up to nowadays?" Enjolras asked, trying to rid himself of the guilt.

"Well, I'm in town for a couple of weeks. I have some work to do."

"What work?" Enjolras could not help to ask. Quinn owned a cupcake shop in the town they grew up in. What work could she possibly be doing in New York?

Quinn grinned widely at his question, "My business is doing so well, Gabriel. I'm thinking of opening a branch of my cupcake shop here!"

"You do? Quinn, that's great!"

"I know, right?" Quinn exclaimed excitedly, "I mean, my business partner told me to keep this thing between us first because we still have lots of things to plan, paperwork to complete but I am so excited, I just have to tell you!"

Enjolras did not remember the last time he saw Quinn this happy.

"Well, I'm glad you did. If there's anything I can do, anything at all, I am only one phone call away."

"Thank you, Gabriel. That means a lot," Quinn said.

She hesitated, and then she continued, "If you don't me asking, how are you? I mean, I talked to Combeferre before seeing you, and… and he told me about Eponine."

Enjolras scoffed, "He did, huh?"

"He did. I know she's dating that Ashworth guy now. Gabriel, I'm so sorry. I know how much you care about her, how much… how much you loved her."

Enjolras did not miss the pained look in her eyes when she uttered the last words. Enjolras ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"I know what you're thinking, Quinn. I'm pathetic because I am still very much in love with Eponine despite everything that happened,"

Quinn frowned at his statement. Her expression showed that it was probably the weirdest sentence she had ever heard.

"No. There's no way I'd ever think of you like that," Quinn said, "I've been in love too, Gabe. I know it's not easy to stop loving someone."

Quinn sighed before she continued, "But… but it's time to move on, Gabriel. Combeferre told me that you're not yourself these past few months since Eponine got back. I know that you love her, but you need to let go. She's with someone else now, and she's happy. You're hanging on to nothing now. Yes, you've made a mistake in the past, and you both reconciled, but she wants to be with someone else. Don't do this to yourself. You'd only fall even further, and then there won't be us who care about you to catch you. We love you, and we want the best for you. The best for you right now is to forget about Eponine."

Enjolras glanced at Quinn. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right.

He had been trying to do exactly what she told him to do. He had tried to forget her ever since Eponine told him that there was nothing that could ever happen between them ever again. It was not easy, and he cursed himself for falling so deeply in love with her.

Eponine and him were not meant to be. This was the bitter pill life wanted him to swallow.

"You're right," Enjolras murmured, "You're absolutely right."

Quinn smiled, squeezing his hand to show her support.

"Anyway, I have to go now."

"So soon?" Enjolras asked, surprised that she had to leave early.

"Yes, I have errands to run. I'll call you later, alright?" she replied as Enjolras stood up. They looked at each other, smiling. She leaned in and kissed him lightly on his cheek, then lightly stroke the spot which her red lipstick left stain.

"I promise this time I would call. Maybe we could have coffee before I go back," she suggested. Enjolras merely nodded as he said, "Yes, that seems like a good idea."

Quinn then made her way to the door. Before she got out, Enjolras quickly turned and called, "Quinn!"

She stopped and faced him.

"What?"

"I…" Enjolras struggled to find words, "I… I mean, why wait until the day before you go back? Are you free tomorrow night? Would like to have dinner…with me?"

Quinn seemed confused.

"Like… like a date?" and yet, despite her confusion, her voice quivered with a little hope, as if she wasn't sure if this was real.

Enjolras smiled shyly, "Yeah, I suppose. Would you like to go out with me tomorrow?"

Quinn seemed to be battling with herself, and Enjolras could tell that she wanted to ask him if he was serious without being rude. He did not change his mind, and he waited for her answer. Once she realized that he was serious, she chuckled slightly, her face reddened and she nodded.

"Yes, I would love to."


	22. The One in Which They Don't Care

Quinn was a beautiful woman. Enjolras had seen many men try to get her attention, worship her even, for she was the perfect combination of beauty and brain. She was funny, and she had never failed to make him laugh. Despite her quick temper, she was incredibly charming and no matter how much you tried, it was impossible to not like her. She was also supportive, and Enjolras did not remember the time when she didn't have his back.

Someone who didn't know better would think that she was the perfect woman for him.

However, the thing about dating your best friend was that it could be incredible because both of you had known each other for so long, therefore you're really comfortable around one another, or it could be really awkward because you had always seen the other person as your best friend and it was weird to see them in a different light, or the prospect of being in a relationship with them scared you because you face the risk of jeopardizing the friendship if things went wrong.

Unfortunately for Enjolras, when it came to him and Quinn, it was the latter.

Enjolras kept quiet and listened to Quinn talking as they made their way towards Musain after having their dinner. As she had some paperwork to complete tonight, she wanted to get a big cup of coffee to go before she went home, and Enjolras decided to accompany her. Now, she had his hand in hers, and she was telling him everything about her business. Enjolras listened attentively, nodding and agreeing but his mind was not really there.

He kept thinking about his first date with Eponine, and how excited he was then. The date was far from perfect, but he loved every moment of it.

Enjolras felt really guilty for reliving his first date with Eponine during his first date with Quinn, but this date felt wrong. It was perfect, and unlike his date with Eponine, it went according to plan. But he felt… empty. There was no excitement, no spark, no butterflies in his stomach like one should feel during first date.

Perhaps it was imperfection that he seeks for.

Enjolras did not even realize that they had reached Musain. Quinn's hand on his shoulder brought him out of his daze, and when he looked up, he found that Quinn was already standing in front of him.

There was hurt in her eyes, disguised as a knowing look. Enjolras opened his mouth to apologize for not paying attention, but before he got to do so, he was interjected by Quinn.

"It's never going to be me, isn't it?" she said her voice soft and laced with disappointment, "It's always going to be her."

"Quinn, I don't know what you're talking ab-"

"Gabe, please. You know that of all people you could lie to, I am not one of them." Quinn remarked as she shook her head.

"It is true, then? You're always going to love her, and there is absolutely no chance for me, or anyone?"

Enjolras felt like cat had caught his tongue. He felt attacked by her question, and he wished with all his heart that her words weren't true. He wanted nothing but to tell her that he had moved on. But he could not. He didn't think he ever would.

So, he said, "Quinn, I'm sorry."

To his surprise, Quinn simply smiled, "Don't be. I know this date is too good to be true."

"It's not that I don't like you," Enjolras tried to fix the situation, "I just…"

"… need time to get over Eponine?" Quinn finished his sentence for him, "Yeah, you've said that so many times to so many people, but you can't get over her, can you?"

When Enjolras said nothing, Quinn shrugged, "I wish I know Eponine better, so that I can find out what is it about her that got you so smitten, so deeply in love."

Enjolras chuckled bitterly, and he did not say anything. He did not want to admit that she was right.

"You don't have to feel bad, by the way," Quinn looked up at him, her expression unreadable, "Now that I know how you really feel about me, I am at peace. I was shocked when you asked me out earlier today, and I am glad that I didn't let myself believe that you've changed your mind about me."

Although she sounded cheery, Enjolras did not miss a hint of hostility in her tone.

"Do me a favour, would you?" Quinn continued. Enjolras arched a brow, and she said, "Make up your mind. It seems to me that you're not done chasing her. And how do you know if she's done letting you chase her? Either way, just… make up your mind. You're circling the same path, Enjolras. It pains me to even look at you because I know that no one can help you but yourself."

Enjolras' face scrunched in confusion. Was she mad at him, or was she just giving advice?

"Combeferre was right. You two are so messed up."

"Quinn, I told you I'm sorry. There's no need to bite my head off."

"I'm not mad at you, Enjolras. I'm just frustrated at this whole circumstance. Ferre told me that Eponine ended things with you. You told me that you're trying to move on. She told Ferre that she's trying to make things right with her boyfriend, but she kept asking Ferre about you. And you, you tell yourself that you're moving on, but you're doing everything but move on."

"Wait, go back. What did you just say?" Enjolras questioned, his eyebrows furrowed. Quinn stared at him disbelievingly.

"Did you not pay attention when I was talking?" Quinn exclaimed, her temper rising, "I'm not going to repeat myself for you!"

"No! I mean, what did you say about Eponine asking Ferre about me?"

Quinn glared at him, "Ferre didn't tell you? She's still asking about you, and she clearly still misses you. I thought you knew, and that's the reason why you're still unable to move on. You can deny it, but deep down, you still think that there's a chance for both of you."

"No, I…"

"Stop, Gabe. Just… stop." Quinn interjected. Enjolras simply watched her struggle with herself. This was the first time he felt like he didn't understand his friend. He was not sure whether she was angry at him for wasting her time on this date, disappointed that he didn't give her the reaction she hoped for, or glad that he did not lead her on and let her believe there was a chance for both of them.

"I think I'm going to get my coffee and go now." Quinn said shortly, and the finality in her tone showed that this date was officially over.

"Quinn, I'm so sorry," Enjolras apologized, "You should know that I never, ever meant to hurt you."

Quinn's expression softened, and she stroked Enjolras' cheek, admiring her handsome feature, "I know, Gabe. But seriously, I hope that the next time I see you, you either have Eponine back by your side, or you're finally able to say that you're content with your life. I want my old friend back, okay?"

She pinched his cheek, chuckling when he winced from the pain. She was still watching him, waiting for his promise. So, he smiled, and nodded. He promised.

"Bye, Gabe. I'll see you when I see you."

"I'll see you when I see you," Enjolras repeated her words.

Before she walked away, she leaned in and kissed Enjolras lightly on his cheek. He looked down at the ground, smiling slightly as he touched the spot where she kissed him. Muttering goodbyes, he heard her footsteps walking away from him.

However, her footsteps then stopped immediately. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he looked up. His eyes widened when he saw the person who was in front of the door to Musain, watching both him and Quinn with jaw dropped in shock.

Eponine.

.......................................................

"Eponine! Eponine! Wait!" Enjolras chased after her, grabbing her arm when he was close enough to reach her, causing her to stop in her tracks.

She turned around, swatting his grip from her arms as she looked at him, eyes blazing with anger, "What do you want?"

"I-I…"

"I have to be somewhere, Enjolras. I don't have time for this." Eponine muttered angrily as she walked away from him. Enjolras' eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but instead of just standing there like an idiot, he walked with her.

"Are you mad at me? Why are you mad at me?"

"I am not mad at you. Why would I be?" she replied harshly, proving him that she was indeed, mad at him.

"Is this… is this about Quinn?"

"Oh, that's her name," Eponine chided, venom dripping in her voice, "Why are you with me instead of your date?"

"I… she had to go somewhere. Wait, I don't understand. Why are you mad at me for going on a date with her?"

"I am not mad at you!" Eponine lied unconvincingly.

"Are you jealous?"

"I am not-" Eponine started, and glared at him, "I am not jealous."

Her gaze was murderous, and it seemed like she was really affronted by his words. She looked like if she could stab Enjolras right then and right there, she would. Any other person would be scared and tried to escape from there, except for Enjolras, who felt the corner of his lips twitch, and despite his attempts to keep a straight face, he smiled widely.

"You are jealous." He stated the obvious, and he saw Eponine's cheeks redden before she avoided his eyes and started to pick up her pace. Unfortunately, Enjolras had longer legs, so no matter how fast Eponine walked, he could catch up.

"I'm not jealous! What you do is definitely none of my business." She said as she walked, "Go on dates. Meet different women. Sleep with them. Marry them even. I don't fucking care." She said through gritted teeth.

"You're right. You shouldn't care, but you do care. Do you mind explaining me that?"

Eponine stopped walking immediately, and spun her heels so that she was facing Enjolras.

"I don't have to explain anything to you." She said fiercely, "I don't care if you go on dates because it means that you've moved on. I don't care if you like other girls because it means that you're getting over me, over us. I don't care if this girl is a one-night stand or someone who you want to be in a long haul because by being with her, it means that we are officially and definitely over. I don't care."

"You don't care." Enjolras repeated, although amused smile still adorned his handsome face.

"I don't care." She repeated, emphasizing on the word 'care', as if that could convince Enjolras that she really didn't, when it was obvious that she did.

"Fine," Enjolras raised his hands as a sign of surrender. He was still grinning like an idiot, irking Eponine to no ends, but she was not going to comment on it. She knew she was going to lose if she was to debate with Enjolras on this matter.

Of course she cared. She shouldn't, for she was the one who ended things between them for good. She would be a hypocrite, and a bitch, if she told him to stop seeing that girl. That girl, that beautiful, beautiful girl, who looked like a perfect partner for Enjolras. She was better than Eponine, perfect in every single way, and Eponine was sure that this girl could make Enjolras very happy. She should be happy for him. Yes, she should be excited.

Except that she didn't.

Jealousy boiled in her veins, and she wanted to attack and rip the girl's hair out for messing with her man (alright, Enjolras was not her man, but she was angry anyway). She wanted to be anywhere but here. The thought of taking Enjolras right there and right now to prove the world that he was truly hers was stronger than she wanted to admit. She wanted to be away from Enjolras, who looked like he was going to laugh.

He wanted to laugh when she was felt like she was going to burst. Urgh, she wanted to smack his head.

She did not do so.

Shaking her head, she glared at him and quickly walked away from there.

This time, she was glad that he did not follow her.

...............................................................................................

Jesse was pacing back and forth in his apartment when Eponine strutted in, looking stressed and bothered. Assuming that it was because of their fight yesterday, Jesse quickly got to her.

"Eponine, about the other day, I am so sorry," he apologized sincerely, "I should not have forced you to do anything that you don't want to, and I'm sorry. That was a jackass move, and I feel terrible. I should've believed you when you said you're serious about us, and I know that I should not let Enjolras bother me so much but you mean so much to me. I don't want to lose you over this stupid fight so please, please-"

"Jesse, just… just stop talking." Eponine demanded as she looked up to him. He towered a few inches compared to her, and somehow because of this, being with him made her feel so safe, as if she had nothing to worry about because he was there.

Sighing, Eponine moved closer to him and slowly pulled him in a hug, resting her head on his hard chest as she tried to forget about her encounter with Enjolras earlier. To her relief, Jesse wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.

"Hey, are you okay?" he whispered, his voice laced with concern. His right hand travelled to her hair, playing with it as his left arm tightening their embrace.

"I'm alright," Eponine murmured, "It's just… I've been thinking about… about today, about us."

She felt Jesse froze, and she could hear his heart beat faster. He was nervous, she knew.

"And…?"

"And I think I should meet your parents." She stated, and then pulled back to look at him, "I think it's time. We're serious, and we are moving forward. So, why not?"

Jesse arched a brow, surprised at her sudden change of attitude, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Eponine answered, trailing her fingers up his torso. She smiled, although she felt like there was a huge stone crashing her heart, "What about you? Do you want to take things further with me?"

Jesse did not answer, but the way he grinned, the way he looked at her, with eyes filled with admiration and love, made her heart feel lighter. She leaned forward and kissed him.

She kissed him lovingly, passionately as she let herself be taken by this amazing man that was her boyfriend.

And for once after weeks, the thought of Enjolras completely left her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy I am still alive. Do I still have readers? I think I am terrible writer for updating so late. If I do, I want to say that you're awesome, and I cannot thank you enough for putting up with me.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Also, as I told some of you, something big is going to happen in the next chapter, so… be prepared? Or not, I don't know your definition of big, but what's going to happen in the next chapter is pretty big to me. So, any predictions?
> 
> Some of you probably want to bang my head against the wall because I keep tearing couples apart, but I am going to stop soon… I think *wink*
> 
> Anyway, reviews are deeply appreciated! Motivation comes from many places, and mine comes from your words. Thank you for reading!


	23. The One with the Reconciliation

Cosette was mopping the floor when she heard her mobile phone rang. Sighing, she wiped the sweat on her forehead with the back of her hand and walked towards the black mahogany coffee table that was situated at the middle of the room, where she put her phone. She took the little gadget and glanced at the ID, instantly feeling her heartbeat pick up a pace and butterflies fluttering their wings in her stomach.

It was Marius.

Taking a deep breath, she adjusted her long, golden hair to one side and answered the call.

"Hello?" she greeted, trying to keep her tone calm and cool although she was beyond excited to hear from him. It had been a week since he called. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed him terribly. She knew she shouldn't. After all, she was the one who broke up with him.

But you could not tell your heart what to feel. It was like it had an entire mind of its own. You could lie to yourself, but you could never lie to your heart. It was honest, and it felt whatever the fuck it wanted to feel.

"Hey," Marius' voice greeted her from the other line. His voice, as usual, was soft and sweet, reminding Cosette why she fell in love with him in the first place.

They had never told anybody this, but on their first anniversary as a couple, Marius took her to a karaoke bar near his apartment. There, she dared him to sing her a song. To her surprise, despite his shyness, he took her challenge by stride, got up from his chair and immediately went to the stage to sing for her.

He could not sing at all.

Marius had a lovely voice for talking, but when he sang, he sounded like a strangled cat. He could not follow the melody. His pitch was all over the place. He did not follow the music. He forgot the lyrics and made his own as he sang.

It was embarrassing.

However, when Marius sang, his eyes were on no one else but Cosette. For the whole four minutes, it seemed like there were no one else but the two of them in the room. He ignored the snickering and mocking from strangers around him, and put his full focus on her. His eyes were filled with love and admiration, and despite his terrible attempt to sing, Cosette knew right away that this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

That was the moment she knew she was in love with him. He was shy and awkward, but for her, he wanted to be brave.

She wanted to be just as fearless as him, so she got up from her chair, and joined him, singing the cheesiest love songs they could think of.

As they sang together, Cosette realized that she was going to love this adorable dork for the rest of her life. They were meant to be together.

"I'm forever yours, faithfully." They sang together, and they meant every word.

"How are you?" Cosette asked kindly, sitting down on the couch. She took one of the cushions and hugged it close to her.

"I'm doing well, thanks." Marius said, "And you?"

"I'm great!" Cosette replied enthusiastically, wincing slightly when her voice was slightly higher than usual. She hoped Marius did not notice that.

"How's everyone?"

"I think they're doing okay. Work schedule is hectic these days, so we don't have time to hang out." Cosette said, "Besides, after everything that happened the other day…"

She trailed off, remembering the fight that issued between Enjolras and Jesse a few weeks ago. She had told Marius about it and the man was not surprised.

"I kind of saw that coming, to be honest," Marius told her, "But are you okay? I hope you did not try to break up the fight and injured yourself. The guys were there, right?"

She had to admit, his concern for her made her smile from ear to ear.

"Cosette, I miss you so much, you have no idea." Marius uttered out of the blue, startling Cosette a little bit.

Cosette was silent for a while, contemplating her answer. She could lie and told him that she was doing alright without him. But she opted for the truth because she knew that Marius could sense her lie. Besides, why would she lie?

"I miss you too." Cosette admitted, playing with the hem of her blouse.

"I know you probably don't want to see me," Marius said sadly, "But I really want to come home to you. I miss us. And for the past week, all I can think about is what could have been if I didn't screw everything up. I still love you, Cosette. I love you with everything I've got."

Despite herself, Cosette found herself smiling.

"Please give us another chance. Please don't give up on us yet."

Cosette heaved a sigh, running her hand through her hair, "Marius, I love you too. I think a lot about giving us another chance, but every time I do so, I remember the reason why we broke up at the first place. We're in different places now, Marius, and the distance between us hurt. You left me behind to focus on work. You're stressed all the time. Every time I try to help you, you brush me off, saying that you could handle it even when I could see that you're struggling. When we started dating, you promised that we'd get through everything together, but you're doing everything alone, and you left me alone. Worst of all, I felt like I had failed you. You're hurting, and there's nothing I could do because you did not want my help. Do you even know how much that affected me?"

"Cosette, everything that I do, I do it for you and for our baby…"

"Yes," Cosette interjected, "But that does not make me feel better. You're doing everything for us, and because of that, you're stressed out and fail to take a good care of yourself. You want to be a responsible boyfriend and father. You want to make me and our baby happy, but you forget that we want you with us, or all that you give us is meaningless. I was not happy with what we were because you're not around when I needed you the most. I hate being alone, Marius. I told you that I'm a big girl, and I could handle being alone but I actually hate it. I spent my childhood being alone, and when I found you, I thought it would all be over. But it didn't. I miss you all the time, even when you're around, and I hate it."

"I di- I did not know that, Cosette," Marius stammered, "I'm so sorry. Gosh, I feel like even a bigger jackass now."

"Well, you were," Cosette chuckled bitterly, "But no matter how much of jackass you were, I still miss you, and I still love you. I don't know what to do, Marius."

Marius sighed, and she could practically feel his frown. She could imagine him rubbing his temple and then ran his hand through his hair before rubbing the back of his neck next, trying to think of things to say to her.

"You know, when Eponine left Enjolras, he did not fight for her. He let her slip away from him, and until now, I can see that he regrets it. I don't want that to happen to us. I learnt from Enjolras' mistakes, and I cannot lose you. I'd do anything to get us back. Heck, if you want to, I'd quit this job, because it is not worth losing you. I am not ready to give up on us. No, I will never give up on us."

"You don't have to do that." Cosette smiled, "But did you mean everything you just said?"

"I do. I mean every word."

Cosette was silent, contemplating everything. She would be risking herself for another possible heartbreak if she tried again. But then she loved Marius. Sure, he had flaws, and he had broken some promises before, but what if this was different? Was she really going to let it all go when she could try?

"Let's talk about this when you get back," Cosette finally spoke, "I don't want to do this by phone. Besides, I really want to see you."

She could practically feel Marius' smile as she heard his quiet laughter.

"I really want to see you too." Marius said, "I'll see you when I get back, alright?"

"Alright."

"I have to go now," Marius said hesitantly. Then, he added, "I love you so much."

Cosette's pink lips curved into a serene, happy smile as she said,

"I love you too, Marius."

..............................................................................................................

She heard the doorbell rang after she hung up the call.

Cosette opened the door, finding Enjolras standing in front of her. The man with curly blond hair smiled, and nodded curtly when he saw her, "Hello, Cosette."

"Enjolras, what are you doing here?" Cosette questioned, her eyes squinted suspiciously.

She could not think of any reason why Enjolras would come to her house voluntarily when any of their friends weren't here. They were not really the best of friends, and although she respected him, there was so much bitterness between them that somewhat affected their relationship.

"Marius asked me to help him with a case against a rival company, and he told me that he left some of the documents here. I was in the neighbourhood, so I thought I'd stop by to pick it up." Enjolras answered diplomatically. When Cosette remained unmoving, Enjolras added, "I don't want to wait until Marius gets home. If this is a serious case, which I think it is, I want to get to it as soon as I can."

Cosette could not think of a counter argument, so, she sighed and moved aside to let Enjolras in.

"Thanks," he said shortly.

"I'll get the documents for you," Cosette said as she walked towards her bedroom, "Did he tell you where he put it?"

"In a drawer in his working desk, I think. He said they're all in a red envelope." Enjolras replied as he looked around Cosette's apartment.

Bloody hell, this place was spotless. Enjolras knew that Cosette had a habit of cleaning and organizing things when she was stressed out, and judging by the way this apartment looked, he could tell that the woman had been under a lot of pressure these days.

Bad things happened to Cosette these days. He could see that she was alone most of the time. Marius was not here, and something happened between Courfeyrac and Eva, that caused the woman to avoid all of them altogether. Eponine must have been busy with her work. Grantaire and Jehan had just moved into an apartment that was quite far from all of them, so they too, could hardly find time to see Cosette.

This was the time when Cosette needed all of them the most, but they could not be there for her.

He would be lying if he said that he did not feel guilty.

Enjolras walked towards Cosette's bedroom, his speed a little slow and careful as the floor was still slippery. He stopped when he got to the door, leaning against the doorframe as he watched Cosette search Marius' drawer for the said documents.

"How are you doing, Cosette?" Enjolras asked kindly, genuinely concerned.

"You don't have to make small talks, Enjolras." Cosette chuckled, her lips curved in a small smile, "I'm fine with complete and utter silence."

"I'm not just trying to make small talks. You're my friend, Cosette, and believe it or not, I am concerned about you." Enjolras said a tad crossly. At that, Cosette turned her head to him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Enjolras repeated, "Cosette, are you alright?"

"I'm going to be fine." Cosette said shortly, and after a thought, she added, "Thank you though, for asking."

Enjolras gave her a little smile before darting his gaze away from her.

Cosette spoke with a voice soft and laced with excitement, "Marius is coming home. I think we're going to give our relationship another shot."

Enjolras' eyes widened with pleasant surprise, "Really? That's great!"

"Yeah," Cosette beamed, and she looked radiant. Enjolras realized that it had been a while since she smiled like that. He could not help but to grin widely too.

"I am happy for you two," he said, "There are no two people whom I think deserve each other as much as you and Marius. You two make each other happy, and I think that's admirable."

Cosette's smile faltered a little bit at his compliment, and she stopped searching Marius' drawers. She turned to face Enjolras and folded her arms across her chest, arching a questioning brow, "Why are you so nice to me all of the sudden?"

"You make it sound like I am mean to you all the time."

"Not all the time," Cosette replied, tucking a strand of her golden hair behind her ear, "I know you don't like me, Enjolras. And that's fine because it makes it easier for us to ignore each other when we're in the same room. Now, you're being sweet and kind. To be honest, you're scaring me a little bit."

Enjolras' eyebrows furrowed as he studied Cosette, "Do you really think that I don't like you?"

"What else am I supposed to think? In college, you used to scoff whenever Marius talked about me, yes, he told me," she added when Enjolras seemed surprised that she knew about that, "And until now, you never talk to me or try to get to know me. I don't know what I've done to you, but it's obvious that you hate me."

Enjolras shook his head. That was the biggest bullshit he ever heard. He did not hate Cosette. Sure, she was a pain in the ass most of the time, but she had good qualities that made Enjolras respect her. After all, she was a part of the group, which meant that she was his friend. He did not hate her.

"That's bullshit, Cosette. I don't hate you. We just never had a chance to have a conversation, let alone get to know each other better. I don't understand you and you don't understand me, which is why we never see eye to eye in everything." Enjolras explained. He then continued, "Contrary to popular beliefs, Cosette, I actually have massive respect for you. I think you're brave, strong and kind. Most importantly, you make my friend happy, and he's going to be a father soon. I don't hate you, Cosette. It's actually quite the opposite."

Cosette's jaw dropped, and blush formed on her cheeks.

"That is… kind of you, Enjolras. I did not know that."

"Yeah, well, I am not the best when it comes to showing affections." Enjolras smirked, "I know we've had our differences, Cosette. I've said some hurtful things to you, and I'm sorry. But you should know that I didn't mean any of that."

"I know you don't. And it's okay, I forgive you." Cosette sighed, and continued searching for the documents that Enjolras wanted, "I'm sorry too. I know that I've been so harsh on you and Eponine. But I did have the best intention in mind. You still love her, and she loves you, but you guys broke up years ago. The two of you shared such intense love that's impossible to diminish, which is why I did not believe it for a second when you two said you're trying to be good friends."

"But we were trying…"

"And you failed miserably, did you not?" Cosette turned to look at him, "Life is about choices, Enjolras. It's either you move on, or you hang on. I see that both of you think you should move on, but you both are still hanging on. Because of that, you both keep hurting one another. It's unhealthy, and all of us are worried about you two."

"You guys don't have to," Enjolras muttered stubbornly. Cosette could not help but to laugh.

"We're your friends. That's what we do." Cosette replied, "Anyway, how are you doing? I haven't seen you in a while. The last time I saw you, you were…"

"… beating the crap out of Jesse in your balcony. Yeah, it has been a while." Enjolras finished her sentence, "I'm doing fine. Have you talked to Eponine lately?"

"Yes." Cosette answered shortly.

"Did she… did she ask anything about me?"

"No," Cosette said, amused smile appeared on her lips, "Eponine had never mentioned you to me. She thinks we hate each other."

"Oh."

"Yes, but Ferre said she has been asking a lot about you, if that's what you want to know. He didn't tell you that?"

Enjolras remembered Quinn telling him the exact same thing. It baffled him. Combeferre did not tell him anything.

"No, he did not."

"Hmm, that's weird. He usually tells you everything." Cosette's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and she turned to Enjolras, who mirrored her expression.

Cosette then spoke, "Either way, I think he has a good reason."

"He better do." Enjolras replied, his fists clenched.

"I cannot find the document anywhere," Cosette heaved a sigh, putting her hands on her hips as she looked around the room. She then rambled, "I think he put it somewhere else. I told him to put his things in one place, but no, he wouldn't listen. See what happens when you don't listen to your girlfriend?"

"I'll search the apartment for it," Cosette said, "Come here tomorrow. I hope I have found it by then."

Enjolras nodded, and said, "Yes, sure. Thanks. I'll get going now."

"Do you want me to show you out?" Cosette asked, and Enjolras shook his head.

"Nah, I'll be fine." He said dismissively. Just when Cosette thought he was going to leave, he added, "By the way, Cosette, I know that your heart is at the right place, but I love Eponine, and I want to make her happy. She is happy with me, and I am happy with her. I won't ever let that go."

Cosette took a deep breath, ready to argue, but today was physically and emotionally exhausting, so she decided against it.

"Bye, Cosette."

"Bye." Cosette responded, and darted her gaze from the door to the bedside table. She realized that she was yet to search there. Perhaps the documents were there.

She then made her way to the bedside table, and found the red envelope that Enjolras wanted. Her face lighted up, relieved that she did not have to rummage the entire apartment to find the bloody documents. She took it out from the drawer and hoped that Enjolras hadn't left the apartment yet.

He had not. He was just at the door when Cosette called his name.

"Enjolras, here's the-ahh!" Enjolras heard Cosette exclaim, words unfinished, followed by the sound of her scream and a loud thump on the floor. Enjolras felt his heart sped in fear when he heard the sound, so he quickly went back to the living room to find Cosette.

His eyes widened in sheer panic and shock when he saw Cosette lying on the ground, unconscious. Her head had hit the edge of the coffee table when she fell, and he saw blood dripping from her head. She was still not moving, and Enjolras was terrified that the fall might seriously impact the baby.

Trying to keep a clear head although he was shaking from head to toe, he quickly called the ambulance.

"No, Cosette, no. Wake up." Enjolras cradled her head as he tried to wake her, but it was to no avail.

"Cosette!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Show of hands, how many of you hate me now?
> 
> What's going to happen to Cosette? Is the baby going to be safe? Can Enjolras get her to the hospital before things get worse? Any predictions? Tell me everything in the reviews!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	24. The One In Which She Got The News

Jesse missed Marissa every day for the past few years, and no matter how much he tried to move on, a part of him would always remember the way her eyes light up when he brought her flowers, the way her eyes squinted in mock annoyance when he told her some lame jokes, and the way she smiled when he kissed her forehead. He memorized the ways she moved, the tone of her voice and the touch of her skin; the memories of her ate him alive.

She was his first love. She owned his heart. When she died, a part of him died too.

When you experienced loss, there was a void in your heart that was not only consuming and destructive, but also changed you in so many ways. There were times when you felt like you could not be happy again. Would you ever find someone who would love you again? If you did, would it be the same? What if things did not turn out the way you wanted it to be? Should you go for it, or should you spare yourself the pain?

It took getting hurt once to be afraid of falling again. It took getting hurt once to dim the smile that once shined so bright, to kill the joy that once filled the heart.

Eponine entered Jesse's life effortlessly, easily and it scared Jesse to no ends. He was grateful that such amazing woman was his girlfriend, but he could not help to wonder whether she would leave him just as easily as she entered his life. At that thought, desperate as it was, he held on tightly to her because everything was better when she's around, and he no longer wanted to feel empty.

She completed him, and he could only hope that he completed her, too.

Right now, they were on their way to his parents' house. Jesse was looking out the window, occasionally glancing at Eponine who looked nervous next to him. His driver, Mr. Jones, also seemed worried. Usually when they were in the car, Eponine was talkative and she never ran out of words to say, so it was weird to see her quiet and brooding.

Jesse saw Mr. Jones looking at them through the mirror, his eyes urging Jesse to say something to Eponine to make her feel better.

"Eponine, are you alright babe?" Jesse questioned kindly, putting his hand on top of hers, and she turned her head to him, her lips curving into a small smile.

"I'm just a little nervous. I've never met my boyfriend's parents. This is the first." Eponine said shakily as she rested her head on Jesse's shoulder, scooting closer to him as he put his arm around her. She closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead, feeling her nervousness ebb away.

"She's going to love you." Jesse uttered shortly.

He sighed contently. She fit so well in his embrace. He had never felt like this with anyone other than Marissa. Was anyone going to ever compare to her?

Eponine looked up, her chocolate eyes met him, and she grinned, sincere and child-like. She leaned in and just when he was about to kiss her, her phone rang.

Eponine groaned as she moved away from him, rummaging her purse for the little gadget.

"Your phone always gets in the way of our moment, don't you think?" Jesse teased, tracing circles on her shoulder with his thumb, and she chuckled, amused as she continued searching for the phone in her bag. It took her a while but when she got it, she glanced at the caller ID, and her smile vanished immediately as her heart started to pound faster against her chest.

It was Enjolras.

She could feel Jesse tense beside her, which meant that he had seen the caller ID too.

She peeped nervously at Jesse, dreading of what he might say. She did not want to get in a fight with him right now. Not when everything was going so well between them.

But forget about Jesse for a second, a voice inside her said. Why would Enjolras call her? They were doing fine not talking at all, and after she had caught him on a date with another woman the other day, she had told herself that she did not give a bloody fuck about him either.

Yet, as mad as she was at him, she wanted to take this call. She wanted to hear what he had to say, or simply to listen to his voice again.

"I… I need to take this call." Eponine murmured slowly, but it was loud enough for Jesse to hear. Jesse was quiet, but when Eponine looked at him, she saw that his jaw was clenched, his lips pursed and he withdrew his arm from around her shoulder.

He was upset, she knew it.

"Jesse…"

"I heard you." He replied, the phone still rang, and Jesse's annoyance heightened.

"I have to take this call." Eponine stated calmly. She did not need his permission, but she felt like she should at least tell him that she was going to answer the call, considering his feelings about Enjolras.

"Do you?" Jesse's tone was cold and uncaring, and Eponine closed her eyes as her grip on her phone tightened. She hated that tone.

It was the tone that he always used that tone whenever he was accusing her of doing something wrong. The moment he used that tone, she knew that they would end up fighting, in which she would scream that she and Enjolras were just friends and instead of yelling back at her, he would retreat, try to suppress his anger and did not talk to her for days. The fight would only end when one of them decided to put aside their ego, and it was usually Eponine who apologized.

Truth be told, she was tired of apologizing, so, she decided to ignore Jesse this time.

However, before Eponine got to answer the call, the ringing stopped. She felt a pang in her heart, regretting her slow response.

But she did not get to feel down because a few seconds later, Enjolras called again. This time, Eponine answered quickly, on the first ring even, and she did not miss the look of dismay and disapproval on Jesse's face.

"Hello?"

Jesse simply watched her take the call, biting his bottom lip, balling his fists to prevent himself from getting so furious that he might say things that he didn't mean.

It was very inconsiderate of her. She knew what he felt about Enjolras. She knew, but she still answered the call in front of him, and she did not even bother to hide the little smile on her lips when she heard his voice.

Figuring that this was too much to take, Jesse looked away.

"Enjolras, calm down." Jesse heard Eponine say, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What's going on?

"No, this can't be happening." Eponine started to panic, and Jesse turned her way, and she had tears in her eyes, "Oh God, no. Alright, where are you now? I'll be there as soon as I can."

She hung up the phone after jotting down the name of the place. She turned to Jesse, and Jesse realized that she was crying.

"It's Enjolras. Cosette… She… she…"

Jesse was unmoved, and he did not try to comfort her. His anger towards her was yet to subdue.

"Cosette fell. She's in the emergency room. Doctors said that things look bad." She whimpered, breathing heavily as tears streamed down her face, "They're trying hard but and there's a huge possibility that…" Eponine choked, "There's a possibility that she might lose the baby."

At that, Eponine began to sob as she recalled Cosette's excitement to have the baby, and the thought alone made her heart drop and her guts clench.

..............................................  
(a few months ago)

"Eponine! Eponine, wake up!" Cosette shook her friend who was sleeping on the sofa, and when Eponine did not stir, Cosette wondered whether Eponine was ignoring her or she was a heavy sleeper.

Thinking that it was the latter, Cosette yelled again, "EPONINE!"

"What the hell?" Eponine cursed when Cosette screamed right near her ear. It was dark outside, and Eponine figured that it was around 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. She fell asleep around 2 o'clock, and she knew that she had not been sleeping long. What did Cosette want at 3 o'clock in the morning?

Cosette turned on the lamp at the side table, and the brunette hissed at the light as she got up. Eponine brought her blanket and wrapped it around her body as she glared at Cosette. This better be good.

Cosette was staring at her with so much excitement which Eponine did not understand. Her bottom lip quivered as she beamed brightly at her.

"What is it, Cosette?" Eponine yawned, and a part of her regretted agreeing to sleep at Cosette's place tonight. Marius had to go to China for a business trip, and Cosette did not like sleeping alone. Feeling sorry for her friend, Eponine did not say no when Cosette begged her to keep her company.

"The baby kicked!" Cosette gestured to her swollen belly, "This is the first time!"

"What?" Eponine's eyes widened in surprise and she squealed, "Oh my God!"

"Yes!" Cosette exclaimed happily, "It's not kicking now, but if we try poking around, maybe it will!" Cosette said as she started to poke her belly, "Eponine, help me!"

Eponine, who was no longer sleepy, pushed aside her blanket and placed her hand on Cosette's belly. She then whispered, "Come on, baby. Kick your mommy for your Aunt Eponine. Kick the shit out of her!"

"Eponine, no curs-" Cosette started, but then froze when the baby started kicking. Eponine giggled like an excited teenage girl, "It worked! It bloody worked!"

"Oh boy, my baby isn't even born yet but it listens to you more than it listens to me!" Cosette joked, shaking her head, "Oh wow, it's kicking hard!"

"It is!" Eponine said fondly, and looked up at Cosette, who was glowing with happiness, "Cosette, this is magical. Thank you for waking me up."

"You're welcome," Cosette replied, and her smile dimmed a little, "Too bad Marius missed this, though."

Eponine sighed, and cursed Marius inwardly for leaving Cosette alone when she needed him the most. She did not approve of the man's work schedule these days, but every time she tried to talk to Marius about it, he brushed her off, and told her that he and Cosette were fine.

Perhaps they were fine now, Eponine thought. What's going to happen in the next few months?

Trying to comfort her friend, Eponine took her blanket and wrapped it around her and Cosette. Eponine scooted closer and pulled Cosette into a hug.

After a while, Cosette's smile returned and she rested her head on Eponine's shoulder.

"Thank you for always being here for me, Eponine." Cosette whispered; a hint of sadness in her tone, "I don't know what I would do without you."

"You can make it up to me by letting me pick the baby's name. Or maybe you can name the baby after the old, fabulous me," Eponine joked, and relished the way Cosette laughed. It had been a while since Eponine heard her laugh like that.

"You wish. The last thing I need is Eponine 2.0 running around my house."

Eponine snorted at her comment. Then, she added, "I can't wait to see your baby, Cosette. It must be as beautiful as you. Oh gosh, I hope it inherits your looks."

"Why me? Why not Marius' looks?"

"He's cute, but we all know you're the prettier one." Eponine commented smugly. Cosette shook her head as her voice broke into soft giggles.

They then sat in comfortable silence for a while, until Cosette spoke, her tone serious.

"Eponine, do you think I'm going to be a good mother?"

Eponine's eyebrows furrowed in confusion because she did not expect that question.

"Of course you will. Why would you ask that?"

"Sometimes I have doubts. What if I am not good enough? What if Marius gets promoted, and I have to raise our baby alone? Is it going to be enough? Can I be both mother and father? What if I screw things up and my baby grows up to hate me?"

"Cosette, you know those won't happen…"

"What if it does?"

"It won't" Eponine assured her, giving Cosette's hand a tight squeeze, "I'm offended that you think you're going to be alone. You know I'm going to be here every day to see your baby. I'm going to come here so often that you and Marius get will get tired of seeing me here and you will kick me out because you need some alone time with your doofus boyfriend and beautiful baby."

"Eponine, be serious."

"I am!" Eponine grinned, but when Cosette scoffed disbelievingly, Eponine's smile dimmed, and she sighed and continued, "Look, all I know is that whatever happens, you'll never be alone. Marius might be busy now, but when this baby is born, he will push away his work and focus on his baby. Oh Cosette, he's going to love this baby with everything he's got, I can imagine it! Your baby is going to have the best of everything because it has a father who would do anything for it, and has a mother who is sweetest woman I've ever met. Not to mention, it's going to have a group of uncles who will protect it from any harm, and of course, your baby will have me. You are going to raise your baby with people who have so much love for you, and you're never going to be alone. We're all here for you and Marius, and we're never going to leave."

"That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Eponine."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it." Eponine chortled. Cosette then pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, and Eponine could feel her shoulder getting damp from Cosette's tears. She now knew that despite her calm and brave exterior, inside, Cosette was actually a little nervous of being a mother.

Eponine hugged her back, trying hard to give as much assurance as she could in one hug. She meant everything she said. Whatever happened, Cosette was never going to be alone. All of them were never alone because they had each other.

"I love you, Eponine." She heard Cosette whisper.

"I love you too, Cosette."

........................................................................

Now, the baby might not even be born. Marius might not even get to see his baby. Cosette might blame herself for everything that happened. The Amis might not have a little kid joining their group. Eponine might never hear a little voice calling her 'Aunt Eponine'.

No, this was not supposed to happen.

Eponine needed to get to the hospital. She needed to be with her friend. She promised Cosette that she was not going to be alone, and Eponine was a woman of her words.

"I need to go to the hospital." Eponine stated, a little surprised at the calmness in her tone. She turned to Jesse and there was urgency in her tone, "I cannot see your parents today. I need to be with Cosette."

"Are you kidding me?" Jesse said, and Eponine had never seen him so livid.

"What do you mean, am I kidding you? My friend's life is on the line! The last thing I want is to meet your parents!" Eponine began to lose her temper. Was he seriously picking up a fight now?

"No, Cosette has nothing to do with this. You're backing out on me."

"What the fuck, Jesse? I am not!"

"Yes, you fucking are!" Jesse exclaimed, "How would I know if Enjolras is even telling you the truth? Maybe Cosette is fine! Maybe this is one of his tricks to get you away from me!"

"Are you fucking serious? Are you really that paranoid that you'd think Enjolras would do that?!"

"Enjolras is terrible, Eponine! You know he loves you. Hell, he's obsessed with you. Obsessed people lie to get what they want, and he wants you!"

"He won't do that!" Eponine exclaimed in disbelief. She did not realize that Jesse hated Enjolras this much. She did not believe that no matter how hard she tried, how many times she assured him that she would not leave, he still did not trust her.

Then, in a weak voice, she said, "I won't lie to you, Jesse."

"You cheated once, and you will cheat again! Once a cheater, always a cheater." Jesse said nastily, and Eponine's jaw dropped. He did not just say that.

"What did you just say to me?"

"You heard what I said," Jesse said stubbornly, although she could hear the regret in his tone as he looked unsure. Yet, his ego was mountain high, so he did not apologize.

Eponine was furious and frustrated.

Her best friend's life was in danger, but here she was, arguing with her paranoid boyfriend.

"I can't believe you called me a cheater, again." She said through gritted teeth as hot tears threatened to fall down her cheeks, "I thought we moved past that."

"How could we move past that if no matter what happens, you'd always choose Enjolras before me?"

"I AM NOT CHOOSING ENJOLRAS OVER YOU, I AM CHOOSING COSETTE!" Eponine bellowed, "And in case you haven't noticed, for these past few months, I have been doing nothing but choosing you over Enjolras! Where has it gotten me? I lose my friends, I fight with you every day, I make all the efforts while you won't even help! You let yourself be blinded by your hatred towards my ex that you don't even let me love you. You shut me out. You don't trust me. You blame me for everything bad that happened between us. You're too scared of losing me that you don't realize that you're the one who is pushing me away, not Enjolras! Is this how we're going to be? Is this going to be us? Answer me, Jesse!"

"You said you choose Enjolras over me, but those are just empty words, Eponine. I know you still love him. You tell it all with your eyes. You tell it all with your actions. I'm not stupid, Eponine."

"Really? Because right now you're acting like a bloody idiot!" Eponine was fed-up and done with the seemingly unending argument. She leaned forward and said to Mr. Jones, "Mr. Jones, stop the car."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jesse seethed when she moved further away from him. Eponine ignored him, causing his blood to boil, so he grabbed her arm when she put her phone back into her purse and forced her to look at him. His grip was painful, but Eponine did not wince. Instead, she looked at him stubbornly, challenging him to stop her.

"I'm going to see my friend at the hospital, whether you like it or not."

"No, you're not!"

Mr. Jones slowed down the car, and stopped at the side of the road. Eponine was secretly thankful that they were still in the city, so she could easily get a cab after he got of this damned car.

"Yes, I am!" Eponine pushed Jesse away and got out of the vehicle, "I am going to see my friend, and you're going to grow up! I cannot deal with this now, Jesse!"

"Eponine! Come back here!" Jesse yelled, following her from behind.

"NO! I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND, NOT YOUR SERVANT. YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND WHO TO SEE." Eponine said one last time. Seeing the perplexed expression on Jesse's face, she smiled bitterly, raised her hand in mock surrender and said,

"And you know what, Jesse? Fuck you."

.....................................................................

Eponine got in the cab and told the driver her destination.

She then took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Her heart was racing in both trepidation and satisfaction. Satisfied that she finally stood up for herself, anxious that she might have screwed things up with Jesse for good. She was sad too, because despite everything she had said to him, a part of her still cared about him and she had just hurt him, again. Heck, it took every atom in her to walk away.

She remembered the look in his eyes, and wondered if he would ever forgive her for this.

Eponine shut her eyes tightly, breathing in and out as she convinced herself that she did what she had to do. Jesse was out of line.

But when she closed her eyes, all she could think about was how scared Enjolras sounded on the phone, and how bad things might be.

Cosette might lose the baby.

Before, she knew it, hot tears streamed down Eponine's cheeks. She then told the driver to drive faster. She needed to be at the hospital as soon as she could.

This time, Jesse was the last person she cared about.

Taking her phone out of her purse, she dialled Enjolras' number.

"Enjolras? I'm just calling to tell you that I'm on my way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you so much for reading! I am so sorry for the late update, but I am writing for two fandoms now, so things are a little hectic. Also, I have started a new fic called Back To Life, and if you'd check it out, it would mean a lot to me. This story is going to end soon, as it has 32 chapters according to my draft, and I feel a little sad. If you've been reading since chapter 1, thank you! I hope you'd stay!!
> 
> That being said, despite my late updates, it doesn't mean that I am abandoning this story. It has come so far, and I do have every intention of finishing it.
> 
> Anyway, what do you think of this chapter? What do you think will happen between Jesse and Eponine next? Is Jesse going to forgive her? What do you think of the little Eposette moment? Is Enjolras going to be okay or is he going to blame himself for what happened to Cosette? Most importantly, is the baby going to be alright?
> 
> I apologize for the typos and grammatical mistakes. It's already late here in Malaysia, and I am quite nervous for my exam result. Wish me luck guys! :D
> 
> Last but not least, thank you so, so much for reading. Do leave me reviews. They make me really happy.


	25. The One in which She Was Home

Eponine rushed to the hospital as fast as she could. Everything else was forgotten, and all that mattered to her right now was her best friend.

Her heart beat frantically against her chest, and it felt like it was going to jump out of its cavity any time soon. Fear crept in Eponine’s veins when she thought about Cosette battling for her and the baby’s life; worry consumed her entire body as tears streamed down her face. She ran into the hospital, knowing that she needed to be there for Cosette when she woke up.

_If she woke up_ , a nasty voice in the back of her mind chided.

Eponine picked up her pace. She wasn’t the one who prayed, nor the person who cared about religion, but right now, she found herself praying. She prayed that Cosette did not lose too much blood when she fell. She prayed that the baby would survive. She prayed that she would not lose her best friend.

Her friends were already at the hospital when Eponine arrived. Musichetta was crying in Joly’s arms, Grantaire had his face in his hands, rocking his body back and forth, wondering if this was harsh reality or an ugly nightmare. They were the sight that greeted Eponine when she arrived, and everything else was blurry to her after that. She saw that some of her friends were either sitting down or pacing back and forth, anxious and impatient.

Eponine was breathing harshly, her feet felt like they were made of jelly. However, her eyes caught sight of Combeferre, and somehow, she managed to gather enough energy to make her way to him.

Combeferre was the calmest of them all. Right now, he also seemed to be the strongest.

Combeferre was sitting beside Courfeyrac, trying to calm the clearly distressed man. He heard her footsteps approaching him, and when he turned and found her coming his way, he heaved a sigh of relief; a small, strained smile appeared on his lips.

Eponine practically sprinted towards him, bursting in tears the moment she was in his embrace. She hugged him tightly, seeking for reassurance, a comfort that right now, seemed like only he could provide.

“Cosette… is she… is she okay?” Eponine croaked, but before Combeferre could answered that, she closed her eyes tight, and asked the next question, the one that she dreaded the answer to, “Did she lose the baby?”

“We don’t know yet,” Combeferre pulled back and adjusted his glasses at the bridge of his nose, “The doctors are trying their best, but they haven’t told us anything.”

That did not sound good. Eponine felt sick to her stomach.

“Oh God,” she shook her head, and Combeferre reached out, pulling her close to him again.

“Hey, shh, it’s alright. It’s going to be alright.” He wrapped his arms around her, “It’s going to be alright.” He repeated again and again.

Eponine nodded, trying to get herself together. She then looked around the place, and turned to Combeferre, “Where’s Enjolras?”

“He’s at the cafeteria. I told him to get away from here for a moment. He needs a break.” Combeferre answered, “Ep, he’s a mess.”

“Why? Is he okay?”

“Enjolras went to Cosette’s place to get some documents that Marius told him to look through. Cosette was mopping the floor at that time. The floor was slippery, and she fell. Enjolras was there and… I don’t know, I think he’s still in shock. Everything happened so fast. Cosette was unconscious the whole time. Enjolras was scared beyond belief. And then he had to call everyone to inform them about Cosette, and he had everyone calling him for confirmations. And if you ask me, I think he blames himself a little bit for everything that happened today.”

Eponine frowned, “What? If he wasn’t there, Cosette would…”

She trailed off, and did not finish her sentence. The possibility was too much for Eponine to take. All she knew was that things would definitely be worse if Enjolras wasn’t there.

Combeferre agreed with her.

“I know, Ep. I tried telling him that, but he did not listen. It’s not the best time to talk to him anyway. Like I said, he’s a mess.”

“What about Marius? Where is he?” Eponine questioned, scanning the waiting room once again for Cosette’s… ex-boyfriend? She did not know the situation with Marius and Cosette ever since the two broke up. She did not know whether Cosette and Marius had patched things up. It was weird to think of Marius as Cosette’s ex-boyfriend.

Either way, boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, as the father of the baby, Marius should be here too. Fury fuelled within Eponine when she saw that Marius was not there.

Eponine felt Combeferre’s hand on her arm, and she glanced at the man, “What?”

“I called Marius. He’s not in New York, but he’s on the first flight here. He’ll be here soon enough.”

Eponine did not say anything. Instead she took a seat next to Courfeyrac, rubbing the man’s back as an attempt to comfort him. Courfeyrac said nothing.

“I hope we can give Marius good news when he gets here,” Eponine rested her head on Combeferre’s shoulder as he put his arms around her, “I don’t want them to lose the baby.”

Combeferre caressed her long hair, but said nothing further. Eponine suddenly felt tears streaming down her face again.

“Ferre, I’m scared.”

She sounded so small, and so weak, that it made Combeferre’s heart clench.

“I’m scared too, Ep.” His voice was shaky, and for once, he looked like everyone else in the room, pale and anxious. He could not put on his brave face much longer.

Right that moment, Enjolras got into the room, and his steps froze when he saw Eponine with Combeferre. Combeferre made a move to retract his arms from around Eponine, but Enjolras shook his head, and walked away from both of them to sit next to Feuilly.

Combeferre did not know what to do. But then he glanced at Eponine, and she did not seem to be bothered. She was staring into nothingness, and Combeferre wondered if she even realized that Enjolras had just come in.

Eponine did not move. She remained in Combeferre’s embrace, and that’s where she stayed for hours.

* * *

The doctor came a few hours later.

They all rushed to him, and the doctor’s eyes widened, taken a little by surprise when a group of young men came to him, attacking him with questions about Cosette and the baby.

Eponine stood next to Combeferre, her hand in his. She squeezed his hand tight, and he squeezed back.

Eponine looked up at him, finding that he was already looking at her. He gave her a reassuring nod, and they both turned to look at the doctor who held up his hand, silencing the Amis at once.

“Miss Fauchelevant is safe, so is the baby. She’s not in labour, yet, but she is resting and we’re keeping close eyes on her.”

“Oh thank God,” Eponine whispered to herself, heaving a sigh of relief. Combeferre pulled her into a hug, and she realized that he was shaking slightly. The Amis cheered, some slumped back on the chairs and some had huge smile on their faces. Colour drained back to their faces, and they no longer looked as pale as they were before. The nightmare was over.

Cosette and the baby were safe.

Eponine’s gaze then darted to Enjolras, her smile vanished immediately.

Enjolras was walking from all of them. He did not turn back.

* * *

Courfeyrac offered to send her home, but she insisted on going to Enjolras’ apartment.

Eponine pounded on Enjolras’ door over and over again, refusing the stop until he open the door.

“Enjolras! I know you’re in there! Open up!”

He opened the door five minutes later, his eyes red and unfocused, his face flushed and his hair dishevelled.

“Are you… drunk?” Eponine questioned, eyebrows furrowed in disapproval as she folded her arms, her eyes studying him.

“Shut up.” Enjolras answered rudely when he saw the look of disapproval in Eponine’s eyes. He made his way back into his apartment, leaving the door opened. He did not care whether Eponine wanted to come in or not.

“Why are you drunk?” Eponine questioned again as she followed him, closing the door behind her and went to the kitchen. She filled a glass with water and joined Enjolras in the living room, where he was sitting on the couch and on the table in front of him was an empty bottle of liquor

She put the glass on the table as she sat next to him.

“Enjolras,” Eponine called softly, placing her hand on his shoulder. Enjolras turned his head to look at her, and for once after a few weeks, she finally saw him up close. There was deep sadness in his eyes, broken look on his face. Eponine caressed his cheek as she moved closer to him. He closed his eyes at her touch.

“What’s wrong, Enjolras?”

Just like that, his eyes shot open, and he seemed distant again.

Enjolras grabbed her hand and gently moved it away from him.

“I’ll be fine tomorrow. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Too late for that.” She replied, not moving from her spot, “What happened to Cosette was not your fault. You know that, right?”

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, looking even more distressed, “I know but… I just feel like everyone who is close to me always end up getting hurt.”

Eponine shook her head, “That’s not true.”

“I keep on hurting other people, Eponine. I’m toxic. First, I hurt you. And then I hurt Quinn. I’ve hurt so many people in my life. And now, Cosette and Marius almost lost their baby.”

“Enjolras…”

“What is wrong with me, Eponine? Why am I made so wrong?”

Eponine blinked. She had never seen him like this. Hell, she thought she knew him well, but this was a whole other side of him. Perhaps this was just the alcohol taking.

She cupped his chin and made him look at her. She gazed into his clear blue eyes and said, “Stop beating yourself up, Enjolras. None of this is your fault.”

“If I wasn’t there at the first place…”

“There’s still every possibility that she might fall, and something worse might happen. Please. Stop blaming yourself. Cosette is alright, the baby is alright. Tomorrow, we’re going to see her, and everything will be alright.”

He neither agreed with nor denied her words.

Shaking his head, he leaned back on the couch. Old habits die hard, so when he did that, Eponine followed him, resting her head on his hard chest. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

Eponine smiled. For the first time after a few weeks, she felt truly happy and at rest.

She had never felt like this when she was with Jesse. At the thought of Jesse, she felt a huge stone crush her guts, and she remembered the fight she had with him this morning. His paranoia, his distrust and his words hurt her, and she did not know if she wanted to go back to him. She liked Jesse a lot, and she cared about him, but he needed to accept that there were things that Enjolras had and could do, that he did not have and could not do.

Eponine had never loved anyone as much as she loved Enjolras. They shared a special bond that was unbreakable, and if anyone tried to break them both, they should prepare themselves for failure. Because when his hand was in hers, she finally felt like she was home. She could go across the world, swim a thousand oceans, climb the highest mountains, but in the end, she would come back to him. He was her home, and next to him was the place where she truly belonged.

She hated herself for loving the wrong things.

Enjolras’ gaze was on her, and she looked up at him, feeling her breath catch when her eyes met his, his brilliant blue eyes looking into the depths of her soul.

In a way, she felt like she was betraying herself. Although she tried to control herself, her heartbeat picked up when she was merely inches from his face. Her eyes glanced at his pink lips before looking back into his eyes, losing herself completely. All sense of control lost the moment his fingers touched her, and she leaned in, meeting him halfway, his lips met hers and she was kissing him again, although everything in her kept telling her that this was wrong.

How many times did she have to do this?

Eponine wondered how he still had that effect on her. Even after all this time, the moment his lips touched hers, she lost contact with the world. The only thing that existed was him. When he adjusted and pulled her closer to his body, she felt jolts of electricity ran down her spine, and she was weakened by his touch. Long gone the thought of Jesse, of their fight, of their history… of anything.

Why did something wrong feel so right?

“I… we can’t… do this.” She murmured against his lips, fists clutching the front of his shirt, but she made no move to pull back.

“Don’t… leave me,” she heard him murmur, “Please, don’t leave me… again.”

She had never heard him sound so weak, so broken, so lost. Therefore, she kissed him again, and again, and again, anything she could do to make him stronger.

She loved him. She had tried resisting for so long.

It had been a long day, and maybe her judgments were a little crowded. A part of her felt like this was a mistake, but a larger part of her knew that it wasn’t. She did not want to go back to her apartment, where she would spend the night alone and wondered about Enjolras. She would rather have him right here with her.

She wanted him.

She fisted her hand in his hair and pulled back, and he groaned helplessly. Eponine gazed into his eyes, which were now looking at her with dark, unwavering desire. His gaze mirrored hers. She rested her forehead against his, inhaling his scent, the familiar scent and she somehow felt like she was already home. She belonged with him. At least, tonight she belonged with him.

Eponine lie back on the couch, pulling him on top of her. She then proceeded kissing him again senseless, while her hands made a quick work of unbuttoning his shirt.

He helped her and shrugged his shirt off him. And as he moved and kissed her on her jaw, down to the nape of her neck, moving down and down, Eponine closed her eyes, losing herself completely in him.

Enjolras was her home. And when she was with him, she was safe and sound.

She needed him, and she was not going anywhere anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, I hope you liked this chapter! I have been going back and forth, writing and rewriting and plotting and re-plotting, which is why, as usual, this chapter is late (seriously guys, I’m a bad writer, but I am also a perfectionist, do you feel my struggle?). I am so, so close to writing smut for this chapter but after the bad smut I’ve written for Courf and Eva chapters ago, I feel like I should spare you guys the awkwardness. 
> 
> I have been struggling with writer’s block these days, and after reading other people’s brilliant fics, I find myself questioning my own writing. But I’ll make do. I’m trying to fix my own writing, so if you guys have any tips or any advice, drop me a comment?
> 
> Buuuuut, life is good for me lately. I just got my exam result, and I got into Dean’s List! I’m starting my second semester soon, and I just saw my schedule, it’s CRAZY. But I won’t stop writing. This fic will NOT be abandoned. This is by far the biggest commitment I’ve ever made, and I’m not going to chicken out last minute. (alright, maybe you’re wondering why I’m telling you guys this, but I consider you guys friends, and I tell my friends everything)
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading. I hope you guys like this chapter!   
> Reviews are deeply, and massively appreciated. xxxx


	26. The One with The Night After

It was 3 o'clock in the morning when Enjolras was awakened by the rustling sound that his sheet made even when he did not make a move at all. At that, his eyes fluttered open, and he was startled when he could not move his left arm.

He tried to get up, only to be attacked by serious pounding in his head. Groaning, he turned to his side and realized that he was not alone. He could not move his left hand because it was circling Eponine's waist, and she was snuggling close to him, pressing her body flush against his. It was cold, and they had only a thin blanket covering their naked bodies. She's using his body as a source of warmth.

And he did not mind at all.

Carefully, he brought her closer to him. She stirred, and he began to worry if he woke her up. However, she remained asleep, her lips curved into a small smile.

He wondered about her dream. He wondered if he were in her dreams, like she was always in his.

Enjolras knew that when it came to Eponine, he was a lost cause. She had him in her grasp, for not only she conquered his mind when he was awake, but she haunted him in his dreams every night. And last night was the night that he knew both of them could never forget, no matter what happened between them.

The feeling of her skin on his again was exquisite, the way her nails dig into his flesh as they made love would leave a mark, and the way they kissed like they would be parted soon would forever be imprinted in his memory.

Eponine was beautiful when she was sleeping. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear to look at her properly, and he smiled as he wondered if this was what an angel looked like; innocent, breath taking, and calm. He did not remember the last time he held her like this, and he would do anything to look at her like this every night.

He wanted to hold her as long as he could. He wanted to love her as long as he lived.  
He wanted them to be  _them_ , again.

But he could only hope. All those were too much to ask for, anyway. He knew that the next morning, Eponine was going to wake up and feel guilty about being with him. She would think of Jesse, and she would be torn between staying with him or apologizing to Jesse. He would tell her to make up her mind, and they would argue again and again. Somehow, they would make up and one way or another, they would find their way back with each other again. The whole cycle would repeat itself again.

They kept going in circles. It was tiring. Enjolras wondered whether one day, the circle would break and they would go back to their respective lives as two different people who were no longer emotionally attached. However, he did not see that happening any time soon. Or any time, really. Perhaps he was a fool, but a part of him believed that they would end up together.

A part of him believed that they're endgame.

Enjolras told himself that because he knew that he could not live without her. He had tried, and he had failed. And there were only so many time that you could try and pretend that you're okay, until you're tired and finally put aside your ego.

You had to accept that once you shared such intense love like Enjolras shared with Eponine, moving on was impossible. A part of you would forever be tied to the other person.

It was crazy and unhealthy to love someone as much as he loved her, but he was too far gone to look back.

He loved her and only her. There would be no one but her.

For her, he would wait, even if he'd have to wait forever.

* * *

The sunlight that seeped through the curtain made it too warm for him to stay asleep.

His side was empty and there was no trace that Eponine was there with him last night. He knew that this would happen, but that did not mean that he was spared from the pang of hurt of waking up without her by his side.

She did not wake him up to say goodbye. There was no note, no messages… nothing.

He wondered if last night meant anything to her.

And he realized that he feared the answer.

* * *

Enjolras was making himself a cup of coffee when his mobile rang.

"Hello?" he answered, putting the phone of speaker so that he could continue making his breakfast.

"Enjolras," Marius spoke from the other line, "It's me."

Enjolras stopped and put down his steaming cup of coffee.

"Marius, how are you?" he asked, his tone formal and polite. He did not know what to say to him. A part of him knew that what happened to Cosette was not his fault, but a part of him also felt guilty because he felt like he could do something to make things better. Plus, he was not sure what Marius was feeling.

"I'm good," Marius said, and Enjolras heard him chuckle, "I'm in hospital now. I just saw Cosette. They said she's stable. They still have to keep close eyes on her though."

"That's good."

"Yeah, it is. Listen man," Marius started "T-Thank you."

"I'm sorry?"

" _Thank you_ ," Marius repeated, "If it wasn't for you, something worse might happen to her. You saved her, Enjolras. And I cannot thank you enough."

Enjolras shook his head, "I didn't do anything, Marius."

"Don't give me that," Marius said jokingly, although Enjolras could hear a hint of annoyance in his tone, "You saved her, alright? Ferre told me that you beat yourself up, thinking you're the reason why she's here and all, and I'm telling you, that's bullshit. This is not your fault. What's important now is that Cosette is stable, and it's all because of you."

Enjolras was silent.

"Enjolras, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Are you alright?"

Was he alright? Honestly, no. He was aching all over, and there were so many things on his mind. And he felt so messed up. Nonetheless, he knew that Marius too, had a lot to think about and the last thing Enjolras wanted to do was to talk to anyone about his problems. So, he lied.

"I'm alright."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thank you though."

"For what?"

"For asking. And… for not blaming me about what happened."

He heard silence for a few minutes, and he thought the line was disconnected. However, Marius then spoke, "That's okay. Are you going to see Cosette today?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in about thirty minutes."

"Oh, good. Eponine said she'll be here too. I'll see you two later then?"

Enjolras felt his heart clench. Hell, he did not know how Eponine and he would react around one another after everything that happened last night. Should he try to talk to her? Or should he pretend like nothing happened?

He really did not know.

Sighing, Enjolras finally said, "I'll see you later."

* * *

Marius held Cosette's hand as she slept, and he did not take his eyes off her even for a second.

Sometimes, it took losing the people you loved the most to make you see sense. In his case, it took him almost losing two most important people in his life to make him realize how bad everything was between him and Cosette.

He was shocked when he got the call from Enjolras, who told him about Cosette's condition. It was only a few hours before that that he told her that he was coming home to her and they would try to patch things up. And it was only a few minutes before Enjolras called him that he was told by his boss that he had to settle some things in Japan.

In fact, he was about to call Cosette to tell her that he had to go to Japan and she needed to wait a while longer when Enjolras called him and told him that Cosette had fell.

He had the best intention in mind. He wanted to provide nothing but the best for his first baby. However, he failed to realize that by doing that, he had missed out on everything that was priceless, everything that money could not buy.

And he regretted everything.

As important as it was to give his family the best, he now realized that his family was his topmost priority. Not his job, not even money. He loved Cosette and their unborn baby, and it killed him to know that he almost lose them. It killed him to think that he was not there for Cosette when she needed him the most.

He held her hand tighter, and brought it to his lips. Marius had learnt his lesson. There was no way he would ever leave Cosette again. She needed him by her side, especially now. And he wanted to be here for her too. If anything, everything that happened brought them together again. He loved her, and he was never going to let her go.

Marius was home now. And he was here to stay.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry that this chapter is only a filler chapter, but I've started my new semester in university, and I have literally no time to write. Study schedule is crazy, and even when I have free time, I'd use it to get some sleep because I am too tired.
> 
> Nonetheless, I hope you're not too mad at me, and I haven't lost any reader! I am so, so sorry.


	27. The One with the Misunderstandings

There was no place that Enjolras hated more than a hospital.

Every hospital brought back bad memories of him being in one when he was a child. He was only eight, and he went to the hospital with his parents every day to visit his grandmother who was in a critical condition. She was dying. Enjolras had never seen so much sadness in one place and he wondered if this was the place where sad people go. He did not like being in such negative surroundings, but as he was a child, he had no say in such matter.

He still remembered the doctor, which he used to refer as the man in pristine white coat. The doctor had the most stoic expression, as if he could not be moved by anything. Enjolras did not blame him. He worked in this place every day, and even the cheeriest soul could turn into cold, emotionless one. The doctor broke the devastating news that caused his entire family to break into tears and sobs, and screams and denial. However, as Enjolras looked up at him, he found the doctor standing there, still unmoving, still stoic. Enjolras was sure that he was sympathetic, but he did not have the energy to say so.

His grandmother's death was not the first death the doctor announced today. And Enjolras felt sorry for him for having such terrible job.

Ever since then, Enjolras hated hospitals, which was why he was always in a bad mood when he visited Cosette.

"You know, sourplum," Cosette suddenly said, pulling him out of his reverie, "You don't have to visit me every day. It's not your responsibility to look after me."

She then smiled, showing her set of pearly white teeth. At that, Enjolras smiled back as he chuckled and shook his head. It was nice to have Cosette back to her teasing self, and if Enjolras had to be honest, he had missed their constant banter. She was feeling much better now, but he could tell that she was getting restless because she could not move a lot, and she was not used to lying on the bed all day without doing something productive.

"So it's wrong for me to visit you now?"

"It's not wrong, but you look like you're having the worst time in your life every time you're here."

"I'm sorry," Enjolras sighed, "I did not mean to upset you."

"That's nonsense. I love that all of you care about me and wants to see me, but I wish I can give better answers than "I'm fine". Truth is, I'm bored out of my mind." She shrugged as she clicked the remote control to flick through the tv channels. However, there was nothing interesting, so Cosette heaved a defeated sigh before turning off the television. She then cocked her head to her side, her eyes meeting Enjolras' again, and an amused smile was back on her lips.

"Make yourself useful by bringing me some magazines when you come next time. Not the boring, educational ones that you always read. Buy me the… you know what, just ask Eponine. She knows what I like."

Enjolras felt sadness creeping back to his pathetic self when Cosette mentioned Eponine's name. He supposed that it showed on his face, for Cosette's smile faltered, knowing that she had touched a nerve.

Enjolras had not spoken to Eponine ever since the night they slept together. They're back to ignoring each other when they're in the same room, avoiding eye contact when they passed each other in hospital halls, and tried their very best to not interact with one another. In a way, they're both standing in the dark, too afraid to make a move, too stubborn to call out for help.

"What's going between you two?" Cosette asked, "You and Eponine, I mean."

"Nothing," he said honestly. Because he was right, that's the answer. There's nothing going on between them.

"Really?" Cosette arched a brow as she looked at him disbelievingly, "You two were more than friends, but now you two are practically strangers. Something happened, did it not?"

"It doesn't mean anything now."

"Enjolras…"

"Cosette, please," Enjolras' voice was strained, but deep sadness was evident in his tone, "Let it go. Eponine and I are no longer friends, but we're not going to let it affect other people. We're just two people who…grew apart and that's okay. You're right. We're toxic to one another. It's time for both of us to take a step back."

Cosette's gaze was sympathetic, and she was about to say something to Enjolras when Courfeyrac came in, bringing her a sandwich.

"Hey there," he grinned widely as he came in. "How are you doing beautiful?"

Cosette laughed as she reached out to give Courfeyrac a hug.

"Whoa, don't move too much." Courfeyrac warned her as he pushed her back to bed, "Remember what the doctor said?"

"Yes, yes," Cosette sounded bored and decided to dismiss Courfeyrac's remark, "What did you get me?" She eyed the sandwich that Courfeyrac brought her. Courfeyrac simply gave her the sandwich, which Cosette took gladly and started to eat. He then took one of the chairs and sat next to Enjolras.

"I thought Combeferre is with you?" Enjolras asked when he realized that his best friend was missing.

"He was. We ran into Eponine in the hallway and she said she needed to talk to Ferre. Sounds serious though," Courfeyrac added after a thought, "What's going on between you and her?"

Enjolras groaned when he asked him the same question Cosette asked.

"He doesn't want to tell," Cosette interrupted their conversation.

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't matter!" Enjolras answered exasperatedly.

"Of course it does. One moment, you and Eponine were friends and the next moment, you both won't even look at each other. Do you really expect us to not notice?"

"… that's what I said," Cosette sighed as she took another bite of her sandwich.

"So what is it then?" Courfeyrac questioned again. Enjolras was annoyed because he did not to be forced to answer questions that he did not want to answer. He simply avoided Courfeyrac' eyes and remained silent. He'd tell them the truth when he wanted to.

"Drop it, Courf. Let him be." Cosette finally said, "It's none of our business anyway."

Courfeyrac opened his mouth to protest, but then Cosette was faster, and she said, "Did you see Eva earlier?"

Eva's name was enough to render Courfeyrac speechless. He gaped at Cosette, eyes blinking fast and face reddened when Cosette and Enjolras started to smile at his reaction. He tried to remain nonchalant, but as it was, he failed miserably.

"Wha-w-what about her?" he raised his shoulder and laid back on his chair, which he thought made him look uncaring and cool, but he looked awkward instead.

"Don't you want to know how she's doing?"

"Yes! I mean, no. No, I don't care. I mean if you want to tell me, tell me. But I don't care. I _don't_ ," he emphasized on the last word when Enjolras snickered.

"She's doing fine. Well, no, not really. She broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago. Apparently, she's still hung up with this one guy…"

Enjolras and Cosette smiled slyly at Courfeyrac, who looked like a deer caught in headlights. As they were friends for a very long time, Enjolras could read his friends' expression very well. Courfeyrac tried so hard to make them think that he could not care less about Eva, but Enjolras did not miss the twitch at the corner of Courfeyrac's lips and the way his eyes bright up when Cosette mentioned that Eva was now single.

Of course he cared. Courfeyrac was a terrible liar when it came to Eva.

"Really? Well, that's… unfortunate." He said shortly, and his ears turned red. A sign that he was under pressure.

"It is, indeed," Cosette said, exchanging knowing glances with Enjolras.

"Stop smiling, you assholes." Courfeyrac said grumpily, but he too, could not stop himself from grinning afterwards, "That's not good news!"

"You're right. It's not. Are you going to do anything with this information?"

If he had to be honest, he would say that he missed Eva terribly. He missed talking to her, laughing with her, being with her. He missed her company more than he had missed anything. He supposed he did love her, but he was not ready to be in any kind of relationship. Eva and he were two completely different people who found comfort and solace in each other for a moment, but he was not sure whether it would last a lifetime. Someday, their differences would break them, and even though they tried to understand each other at first, Courfeyrac feared that they would crash and burn.

Because he had seen how relationships changed his friends, and he was scared of change.

He also wanted to be perfect for Eva, but he was far from perfect and he knew he would never be good enough for her. She was the most wonderful woman he had ever known, and she deserved better than him. The selfish part of him wanted her to be his, but a part of him also knew that he would only hurt her more by being with her.

The last thing he wanted was to hurt Eva even more.

He then realized that Cosette and Enjolras were still watching him, gauging for his reaction.

Courfeyrac breathed, and to both of his friends' surprise, he simply shook his head and said, "No."

* * *

Enjolras was walking pass the waiting room when he heard Eponine cry. He stopped in his tracks and rushed to see her, but then faltered when he saw her in Combeferre's embrace. The man was holding her tight, stroking her hair and whispered kind words as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"It was a mistake… it was a mistake…" she kept repeating, in which Combeferre replied with, "I know, I know."

What mistake? Enjolras got curious, so he remained where he was, unseen by the two of them but was close enough to listen to their conversation clearly.

"Everything is ruined, and it's all my fault."

"You don't know that…"

"I do know, Ferre!" Eponine said furiously as she stepped back from Ferre. She shook her head and sat on one of the sofas, burying her face in her hands as she started to cry again, "Sleeping with Enjolras was a mistake. I cannot believe that I ruined everything for one meaningless night."

Enjolras' heart dropped. So, that's what she thought. That night meant nothing.  _He_  meant nothing.

Combeferre sighed and he looked sympathetic. He then took a seat next to Eponine and held her hand.

"Eponine, I'm going to ask you this. Have you told Jesse?"

Eponine stopped sobbing when Jesse was mentioned. Enjolras cocked his head to see her expression, and a shooting pain pricked his heart when Eponine looked deeply worried, and hurt, and scared. She was terrified of losing Jesse. Enjolras retreated back in the shadows, taking a deep breath as he refused to cry.

"How can I tell him without breaking his heart?"

There was silence. Enjolras waited for Combeferre's reply, but the man simply answered with a question that broke Enjolras' heart, "Eponine, you love Jesse, don't you?"

Eponine did not answer, but her silence was just the answer he needed. Eponine would always choose Jesse, who was her future, her happiness, than him who was nothing but a past, a history that she wanted to erase.

And he did not want to stay to hear the actual answer. He did not think he could bear it.

So, with shoulders hunched and heart as heavy as stone, he walked away as he now knew where they both stand.

The game was over, and he had lost.

* * *

"Do you love him?" Combeferre asked again as he placed his hand on Eponine's shoulder, trying to assure her that he would not judge her, no matter what her answer was. She turned her head to look at him, eyes filled with tears and mascara running down face. She looked absolutely terrible. Her bottom lip trembled when she saw the sincerity and concern in Combeferre's eyes, and she knew she could not bring herself to lie to Combeferre.

So, she shook her head.

"No, I don't. I don't love Jesse."

As soon as the words escaped her lips, Eponine buried her face back into her hands, regretting everything that happened. If only she did not sleep with Enjolras, she would not realize that her feelings for Jesse were not real. If only she did not sleep with Enjolras, she probably would learn to fall in love with Jesse after some time, but instead, now she knew that no matter what, in the end, there was only one man who owned her heart. There was no falling in love with another man when she had Enjolras.

"You love Enjolras."

That was a statement about a situation that was so obvious that it did not need saying.

"I love him."

"Have you told him?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid of how much I love him. I'm afraid of how I've got no control when I'm with him. When you love someone this much, you're opening yourself to get hurt, and I cannot get hurt again, Ferre. I just… can't."

"Ep, he won't hurt you. He loves you." Combeferre stated simply, surprised that his voice was still so calm although her words jabbed his heart like millions of daggers.

"He loved me back then, but he still hurt me. How do I trust him when I cannot even trust myself anymore?"

It was a question that Combeferre did not know how to answer, and by the finality in her tone, that was the end of the conversation about Enjolras. Combeferre knew that she was undergoing a tough time. She had to make a decision, and no matter what her decision was, she would end up breaking someone's heart. Judging by the pained expression on her face, Combeferre could tell that there was no other person that she hated more in the world than herself.

Combeferre placed his hand on hers and squeezed tight, showing her that whatever happened, she would always have his support.

Eponine rested her head on his shoulder and did not say anything after that, but he let her be, and he did not move until he was sure that she was alright.

He knew that even when nothing worked for her, and everything fell apart, he would still be there, ready to catch her.

He was always there, and he would always love her.

And she did not realize that, and somehow, that was alright because all he wanted to do was to take her pain away.

This was the best he could do, and he could only wish that it was enough for her.


	28. The One with the Heartbreak

_Maybe we got lost in translation,_  
Maybe I asked for too much,  
Maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up  
  


* * *

 

_See you later x – Jesse_

Eponine sighed after reading the text message, shutting her phone off and buried her face in her hands. She thought about the mess that was her life, and wondered why did she let everything spiral out of control until she felt like her life was not really her own.

Her relationship with Jesse nowadays was weird. They’re both trying hard to go back to the way they once were, but no one could deny the cracks that had already formed, ready to break and destroy everything they tried to build. Jesse was oblivious of her unhappiness but she did not make any effort to tell him the truth between her and Enjolras. She did not know why she was so scared. Perhaps she did not have the guts to break Jesse’s heart again. No, not after everything they’ve been through.

She remembered Jesse apologizing profusely after he found out about Cosette’s accident. She remembered the unread texts and missed calls from him that she received when she was spending the night with Enjolras. She remembered them being the reason why she was torn between feeling content about waking up next to the man she loved and feeling guilty for not being the man she was in a relationship with.

Confused and scared, she left before Enjolras woke up and went straight to Jesse’s, knowing that if she stayed with Enjolras, she would not leave.

There, she had to pretend that everything was alright even when it was not. But everything came with a price, and pretending made her feel like someone was choking her alive.

She was in pieces.

And after a while, she knew that she had to do something to put herself together.

Right now, she was in the park near her place. Her eyes darted to the people around her, some were laughing and smiling, some were enjoying each other’s company, some were playing around, enjoying life. Eponine wished for a simpler life, but then a simpler life was the thing that she threw out of the window the moment she fell in love with Enjolras.

Her fingers were cold despite the warm evening, and her mind was a spiralling mess that soon, she hoped, would turn into clarity.

To be honest, she knew it could end up like this. She would hurt someone, someway. Eponine was not an idiot. She knew she had to make a choice on what she wanted and what she needed, but then knowing and executing something were two completely different things.

And she was not looking forward to this.

* * *

 

“Are you still mad at me?”

Eponine’s turned her head to look at Jesse. She realized that she had not uttered a single word ever since Jesse got to the park. She remained passive and quiet when he sat next to her. She made small, contented sound when he touched her hand, but then quickly withdrew it, refusing to meet his gaze.

She was distant, and she knew that Jesse was getting tired of reaching out.

“No, I’m not mad at you,” Eponine said, her voice soft and barely audible. Jesse chuckled disbelievingly.

“I thought we’re past this. We promised to not keep any secret from each other, remember?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then what is it?” Jesse snapped, “You’ve been acting weird lately, and don’t tell me that it’s because of work because we both know that work never bothers you. There’s something that you’re not telling me, and I am tired of convincing myself that it’s nothing. I’m your boyfriend, Eponine. If there’s anything, you should tell me.”

Tears welled in her eyes, “I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“What is it?” Jesse turned back to her, his heartbeat picked up when he realized that she was crying, “Ep, what is it?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Eponine cried, guilt finally took over her and broke her walls.

Jesse faltered. He remembered the last time Eponine was like this. Disappointment and anger kicked in, and he was shaking, “Something happened between the two of you? Again?”

“I’m sorry?” Eponine asked between sobs.

“You and Enjolras,” Jesse said through gritted teeth. He did not know why he was surprised, really. He knew Eponine’s feelings for Enjolras, and he was not too deep in the state of denial, he’d admit that she would always come back to him, no matter how hard she tried to run. As it was, he hoped that she would not go to Enjolras, but to him instead. When it came to Enjolras, he somehow believed that he would keep his distance from Eponine, and respected that she was now his girlfriend. Perhaps hoping that he would not mess with someone’s girlfriend was too much to ask.

Eponine did not deny anything, proving that his guess was right. Something did happen between the two of them.

Eponine did not deny anything, proving that his guess was right.

“I can’t believe this.” Jesse cursed under his breath, looking away from Eponine. Eponine wiped the tears off her cheeks and said, “I messed things up. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah, you keep saying that,” Jesse whispered, chuckling bitterly, trying hard to control his disappointment, “But are you really sorry?”

“I am,” Eponine replied, “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

“But then that’s the first thing that you do. The one thing that you _always_ do.”

“Jesse…”

“No, Eponine!” Jesse exclaimed, swatting her hand away when she tried to touch him, “You keep coming to me, but you still love him. You keep saying that you’ll try, but you never do! _I’m_ the one who tries. _I’m_ the one who has to believe that you’re giving us a chance. But every time I trust you, you go behind my back and do… _this_.”

Eponine looked down to the ground and said nothing as she could not come up with anything to refute everything Jesse had said. She could not deny that they’re all true. She could not blame him for being paranoid when it came to her and Enjolras as she never gave him a reason to not be worried. He had every right to be anxious because everything he was afraid of came true the moment he closed his eyes and decided to trust her.

“You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” Jesse asked after a moment of silence.

Eponine turned back to Jesse, finding that he was already staring at her. Feeling her eyes misting over, she nodded, “Yeah, I am.”

She could see tears in Jesse’s eyes before he broke their gaze and looked away from her. She could almost feel her heart breaking for him, but she knew that it was nothing compared to what he was feeling right now. It was incredibly cruel of her to do this to him, but she could not keep hurting him. She could not keep lying to him. He deserved much better.

Jesse stood up after a while, preparing to leave. Eponine would not blame him if he just left without saying another word, but to her surprise, he turned back to her. He took a deep breath to compose himself, and said, “I hope you find what you’re looking for, Eponine. For what it’s worth, I actually loved you.”

Muttering the last goodbye, he walked away from there, leaving not only traces of histories and memories that they would always cherish, but also wonders of what could have been if things were different and they loved each other right.

* * *

 

 She could not do anything right. How could she when every time she tried to do something, her mind went back to last week, and she recalled how devastated Jesse was, how she had broken him.

_“For what it’s worth, I actually loved you.”_

He loved her, and she did not love him back. She did not love the man who treated her like she was his everything. She did not love the man who gave her everything she needed and more, who could probably be her future if she was not so messed up.

She put down her mug on the kitchen counter and sighed. Wrapping her bathrobe around her, she made her way towards the living room and sat on the couch. It was quiet today. Her mornings were usually filled with calls and text messages from her friends, asking if she was alright after they heard about her break up with Jesse. She did not reply to any of them because she did not know what to answer. A part of her was relieved that she was no longer with him because by this, he was no longer hurting. But a part of her felt empty, and as hard as she tried, she could not deny that Jesse once filled her life with laughter, happiness and promises of future, and when he was gone, he took everything with him.

She had lost count of how many times she cried because of this matter. She had come to the point when she did not even remember why she cried. Sometimes she cried because she regretted everything she did with Enjolras. Sometimes she cried because she hated herself for hurting Jesse. Sometimes she cried because she missed Jesse, and sometimes she cried because she was scared, lonely and miserable.

Now, well now, she felt numb. Everything about her life was so fucked up, and she was so tired. Tired of crying, tired of feeling miserable.

Eponine sighed, getting up from the couch to take a shower, but then she heard a knock on her door. Startled, she looked at the clock. It was too early for anyone to come.

“Ep? I know you’re in there! Open up!” Combeferre called, as if he knew that she was hesitating.  Eponine’s eyes went wide. She did not expect him to come to her place.

Eponine rushed to open the door for him. There, Combeferre stood with two cups of coffee and bag of food. Seeing Eponine’s puffy face and red eyes, his smile vanished from his face, replaced by genuine look of concern.

Eponine hated that look.

“You look like shit.” He said, laughing nervously when Eponine glared at him.

“Is that your way of comforting a girl?” Eponine replied cheekily, crossing her arms as she leaned against the door, “You suck.”

“Yeah, well, I guess I need more practice. May I come in?”

Eponine shrugged, stepping aside so that Combeferre could come in. As he walked in, Eponine snatched a cup of coffee from his hand, startling him.

“What? Is it not for me?”

“It is for you.” Combeferre replied simply, making his way to the dining table to put the stuff he brought with him on it, “Have you eaten?”

“Nope. I don’t have the appetite.” Eponine said as she took a seat, gazing up at Combeferre. “Have you?”

“No. Thought I’d eat with you. You didn’t return any of our calls, and Cosette was worried that you’re not taking a good care of yourself.”

“And you volunteered to check on me?”

“Well, yeah.”

Eponine smiled, “Thank you. I’m glad you came.”

Combeferre returned her smile and sat next to her. Eponine snuggled closer to him and put her head on his shoulder as he sipped his coffee. For once after a few days, Eponine felt at peace.

“Can I ask you something?” Eponine asked. Combeferre nodded and replied, “What is it?”

“You haven’t, by any chance, talked to Jesse, have you?”

Eponine could feel Combeferre tense when she asked the question, and the silence that followed caused her curiosity to grow.

“You have.” She said in understanding, “When?”

Combeferre sighed and put down his cup of coffee as he turned to Eponine. He seemed reluctant to tell her what he had to say, but then he knew that Eponine would not stop asking until she got her answer.

“Last night, at Musain.”

“What’s he doing there?”

“He’s with his mother, having coffee.” Combeferre answered, “You don’t have to worry about him though. He seems to be doing just fine.”

Eponine felt a little burden in her heart lift when she heard that Jesse was okay.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. He… well, he told me to give you something.”

Eponine frowned, questions in her eyes.

“What is it?”

Combeferre sighed heavily, looking like he was struggling with himself, like if he could, he did not want to give Eponine what he had to give. Eponine had known him long enough to understand that whatever it was, it was going to devastate her.

“Ferre, just come out and tell me.” Eponine braced herself for a bad news, “I can take it.”

Combeferre seemed to not believe her, but then he knew that there was no point in arguing with Eponine. So, he took out a little box out of his pocket and handed it to her. Confused, Eponine took the box from Combeferre’s hand and gazed at her friend, asking what it was. However, he said nothing as it was better if Eponine found it out herself.

Shaking slightly, Eponine opened the box. She felt her jaw drop and her heart beat even faster. It was a gold necklace with an eternity sign.

And she felt tears welled in her eyes again.

_He remembered._

* * *

 

_What do you think of this?” Eponine showed Jesse a gold necklace that she had been eyeing for weeks. They were in a jewellery shop as Jesse wanted to get something for his mother. Eponine was there to accompany him because he needed ‘a woman’s opinion’ as according to him, he was terrible when it came to buying gifts._

_Jesse looked up from comparing a golden and a silver watch to see what Eponine had chosen. She was holding the necklace up, eyes bright and enthusiastic, but unfortunately, his eyes did not mirror hers._

_“I don’t know,” he hesitated, “The infinity symbol seems a little… I don’t know, mainstream?”_

_“Mainstream?” Eponine laughed, “What does that even mean?”_

_“Well, my mother likes something that is one of a kind.” Jesse answered, returning his focus back to the watches, “I don’t see her wearing that necklace. She might just put in her drawer and never wear it.”_

_Eponine pouted, “I guess the necklace is out then. Such a shame. I actually liked that one.”_

_“You do?” Jesse turned to her when he felt her snuggling close to him. Eponine nodded enthusiastically._

_“I think I’ll see the necklace again, please?” Jesse suddenly told the salesgirl, and Eponine smiled as she stared up at him. She was holding his hand as she put her head on his shoulder._

_“Do you think we are infinite?” she asked out of the blue, and Jesse stopped in his action. He looked at her, wondering if he heard her question right._

_Eponine’s gaze was serious, “Do you think we’ll last?”_

_“Eponine, what’s with the question?”_

_“I’m just asking.” Eponine shrugged, letting go of his hand, “You know what? Forget it.”_

_“No no,” Jesse held on to her hand, causing her to turn back to him, “I want to answer that.”_

_“You do?” Eponine’s eyes widened in surprise, “ Okay, what’s your answer?”_

_“Ah, that’s the thing,” Jesse said, “I want to hear yours first?”_

_Eponine raised a brow, trying to read Jesse who was smiling cheekily at her. When he seemed adamant of wanting to know her answer first, she replied, “I know better than to put too much hope for the future, but to be honest, I want nothing more than for you to be there.”_

_Jesse’s smile was bright, and he looked truly happy, “Really?”_

_Eponine nodded, “Really.”_

_“Well, I’m glad you think that way, because I’m not going anywhere,” he said, his voice low and sultry. He put his arms around her as he rested his forehead against hers, “My future is you, Eponine Thenardier.”_

_Eponine laughed, feeling happier than she had ever been. Placing a chaste kiss on his lips, Eponine asked, “So, have you made your choice?”_

_“Not yet,” Jesse held her there as he deepened the kiss, “I’ll think about the necklace later.”_

_“Oh, Ep?” Jesse pulled back for a moment, and said, “As the answer to your question, yes, I think we are infinite.”_

* * *

 

 Eponine did not realize that she was crying until Combeferre reached out and held her hand.

“I did not know that he’d actually buy this necklace for me,” Eponine sobbed, “I thought… I thought…”

“Hey, hey,” Combeferre quickly pulled her into a hug when her sobbing got more erratic, “Everything that happened between you two is not your fault. You’re not in control of who you’re in love with, and Jesse does not blame you for that.”

“But I feel like he is blaming me. Why else would he give me this necklace? He wanted to remind me of the promises that I’ve broken.”

“Whatever his attention is, I’m sure it’s not what you think it is.” Combeferre tried to comfort her, “He just figured you should have the necklace, but he doesn’t blame you. He understands why you did what you did. We have all been in love, and we all know that sometimes, things just don’t go the way we wanted it to be.”

“Do you think he will ever forgive me?”

Combeferre did not answer. Although Jesse seemed alright, from his tired eyes, Combeferre could tell that Jesse took the break up harder than Eponine, and he knew that the man still loved Eponine with everything he had. Jesse would be lying if he said that he had already forgiven Eponine for cheating on him. Jesse might still love Eponine, but it did not mean that things would go back to the way they were, and when it came to their case, love had destroyed any possible friendship that could form between the two of them.

Combeferre did not know how to put everything into words, so he simply put his arms around Eponine as she cried.

“I’m here. It’s going to be okay. I’m here.”

And Combeferre hoped that for that night, he was enough.


	29. The One With The Realization

_And being here without you_  
_It’s like waking up to half a blue sky_  
_Kind of there but not quite_  
_I’m walking around with just one shoe  
_ _I’m half a heart without you_

* * *

 

“How about this? This looks good on me, no?” Eponine pouted as she posed in an elegant black dress for Combeferre. Combeferre groaned as he cupped his face in his hands, lying back on the couch as he wondered why he agreed to accompany Eponine shopping when he knew that this was nowhere near his expertise.

“Ferre! Come on!”

Sighing, Combeferre got up and scratched the back of his head, “I don’t know, Ep. They all look the same to me.”

“What do you mean they all look the same?” Eponine put her hands on her slim waist, glaring at Combeferre in disbelief, “This dress is black. The other ones that I tried on earlier are grey, blue and red…”

“I know how to differentiate colours, Eponine!” Combeferre interrupted, his voice high and he sounded exasperated, “Why does this matter, Ep? You look beautiful in every single one of them, so just choose one.” He whined like a child.

“Oh, come on, you’re not the one who has been changing in and out of clothes all day,” Eponine scolded him playfully. Despite herself, she found herself blushing when Combeferre called her beautiful. When Combeferre shrugged, Eponine continued, “Alright, among all these dresses, which one did you like seeing me in the most?”

Combeferre opened his mouth to complain about being asked the same question over and over again, Eponine held out her hand and said, “This is the last time I’m asking you this. I swear.”

At that, Combeferre chewed his bottom lip as he studied the dress. He remembered how radiant Eponine looked in every one of them. How could he not? He felt like he had forgotten how to breathe every time she stepped out of the fitting room. It was unfair that she was so beautiful, so mesmerizing, while he could only sit there and admire her, never making her his.

“Ferre,” Eponine cooed, and Combeferre broke away from his reverie. He looked away bashfully when he realized that he had been staring a little too long at her body, so he quickly cleared his throat and said, “The grey one. I like the grey one.”

“Really? I thought you’d like the red one.” Eponine sounded surprised.

Combeferre simply give her a wry smile, “I don’t like red. Enjolras likes red.”

At that, Eponine’s smile slowly vanished from her lips. It had been a while since anyone mentioned Enjolras to her. Ever since her break up with Jesse two months ago, she had not heard from Enjolras, and no one bothered telling her what he was up to. All Eponine knew was that he was in London for business stuff, and he would come back when his work was finished. Eponine did not know what’s going on with his life, and maybe that was for the best.

“He’s coming back, Eponine. You know that?”

Eponine nodded, and sat next to her friend. “I know.”

“I know that this is probably the last thing you wanted to hear,” Combeferre started, taking her hand in his and squeezed it lightly for assurance, “But you can’t avoid him forever. One of these days, you have to see him, and just know that when that happens, if you want me there, I’ll be there.”

Eponine hated how dependant she was on Combeferre nowadays. Truth be told, she did not think she could survive these past two months without him. He was always there whenever she needed him. He was the first person she called every morning and the last one she talked to before she went to sleep at night. He was the one who held her when she was crying, the one who soothed her when she could not get anything right because she was too depressed. Combeferre listened to her when she needed someone to talk to, and he helped her get back to her old self, slowly, but surely.

Without him, she did not think that she could survive even a day.

“Thank you, Ferre.” Eponine murmured, “For everything.”

“Don’t mention it,” Combeferre replied cheerfully, “So, have you made your choice?”

Eponine laughed as she looked at the pile of clothes she had tried on. She nodded and picked a dress from the pile and said, “I’ll go with grey. It’s time for me to try a new colour.”

* * *

“You sure you don’t need help with that?” Combeferre asked as they walked out of the store, eyeing Eponine who was carrying bags in both her hands, “Here, let me help.” He decided and took some of them from Eponine. Eponine said nothing as she gave most of them to Combeferre, smiling gratefully at her friend who never failed her.

“You’re amazing, you know that?”

“I know.” Combeferre said smugly, and they laughed as they walked alongside each other, making their way to Musain.

When they both fell into comfortable silence as they walked, Eponine found herself thinking about Enjolras. He was coming back, and sooner or later, she would have to face him. What would she say then? Would she be alright?

She had not thought about him for a while as she needed to focus on herself after her break up with Jesse. If she had to tell the truth, yes, she missed Enjolras. But they made a mess of things when they slept together, and things between them were even more awkward than ever. How would they recover from that?

“Ep, you’re coming?” Combeferre’s voice brought her out of her train of thoughts. Eponine blinked, realizing that Combeferre had already held the door to Musain open for her. Blushing slightly, Eponine quickly went in, muttering thank you and sorry to Combeferre as she walked past him.

“You okay?”

“I’m alright. Just a little tired.” Eponine answered. They were now lining up to buy coffee, “It’s been a tiring day.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Combeferre scoffed as he lifted the bags he was holding. When Eponine’s expression remained solemn, Combeferre sighed and said, “You’re bothered because of that thing about Enjolras, aren’t you? I knew I shouldn’t have told you about him coming back…”

“No, no, it’s okay.” Eponine said, “It’s just… It’s complicated.”

“I see. Well, you guys haven’t talked in forever. Have you thought about what to say to him?”

Eponine shook her head, “No. But I’ll figure it out. I just want to put everything behind me and start fresh. And I can’t do that if I keep on avoiding Enjolras, right? So, yeah, no more running.”

Combeferre simply nodded in understanding, and said nothing further.

 _“I don’t think I want coffee anymore. This line is taking way too long. Should we try another place?”_ Eponine heard the woman in front of her spoke to her friend. Her friend, looking hungover and tired, did not have the energy to argue, so she nodded and they both walked out of the line, and Eponine and Combeferre stepped forward.

“Some people just don’t have the patience,” Combeferre muttered, taking his phone out from his pocket to check his emails.

“Maybe they’re in hurry.” Eponine said good-naturedly, her eyes were on the tall man in front of her. She did not see his face, but she felt like she knew him. There was something familiar and warm about him.

When it was the man’s turn, he ordered a tall latte to go, and Eponine froze in her steps. As the man moved to get her coffee, still oblivious of her presence, Eponine was still unmoving. The barista called her, and Combeferre touched her shoulder, wondering why she spaced out again. However, Eponine did not really hear their voices. Her eyes were still on that man.

“Enjolras?” she croaked, and her voice was loud enough for the man to hear.

And he too, seemed surprised to hear someone call his name. He turned around, and his eyes widened in shock as he too, did not expect to see her there.

However, Enjolras simply cracked a little smile and greeted, “Hi, Eponine.”

* * *

He looked different, like he was a completely new person. Perhaps it was the beard and the moustache, or perhaps it was the way he grew his golden hair long. He looked much older than he actually was, but then he still looked so marvellously glorious. So breathtakingly beautiful that a glance from him could set her on fire, and a touch from him send jolts down her spine, awakening her senses and she remembered how he made her feel so alive.

Eponine stirred her coffee, never taking her eyes on the man who was sitting across her. It was only the two of them now. Combeferre was outside. He said he needed to make a call but Eponine knew that he wanted to leave them alone so that they could talk. Although Eponine was grateful of his thoughtful gesture, she wished he would be here because she could not think of a word to say to Enjolras, and the awkwardness between them was driving her crazy.

“You look great, Eponine.”

Eponine blinked, her lips curved into a smile when she realized that Enjolras was smiling at her. She was so used to them being tense around each other that seeing him smile after a long time made the bad memories went away and her heart felt lighter. It had been a while, but now, she felt truly happy. She was glad that Enjolras was here, and she was glad that his smile was genuine, and how just like her, he took time to heal, and he was happy.

“So are you. I suppose you had a good time in London?”

“Kind of. I didn’t get to do much sightseeing but yeah, it’s good to have some time to think and… re-evaluate some things, you know?”

He hesitated as he uttered the few last words, gazing up at her with the look of uncertainty in his eyes. He remembered the last time he saw Eponine. Just like him, she was a mess. She was crying hysterically in Combeferre’s arms, telling him that the night she had with Enjolras was a mistake, that everything about them was a mistake, and how she was afraid how she had messed things up with Jesse. Just like a broken bone, he still felt the sting of her words, although he’d like to think that he was over that. How could he not? That was the moment he knew that they were over for good, that her heart was not with him, and it was dangerous to hang on to what could have been.

It took him a while to accept the fact that they’re over, and he was a mess for almost the whole time he was in London. But now he’s back. Just like her, he had taken time to heal, and he had accepted the fact that perhaps they were just soulmates who weren’t meant to be.

“These past few months had been…rough. I think you’ve heard about me and Jesse?”

“I did,” Enjolras nodded, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Nah, it’s alright. Some things are just not meant to be, you know?”

Enjolras opened his mouth to say something to comfort her, but the look in Eponine’s eyes shut him off, and he knew that she did not want him to say anything when she shook her head and mouthed that she was okay. So, he sipped his coffee, and let silence took over both of them once again.

So, where did this leave them? Were they friends again? Were they strangers with memories?

Or were they just two people who once shared passionate, undying love towards one another but now everything had burnt out and they had nothing left? They were just two people who were destroyed by memories and the love they once had, and now they simply tolerated one another, too scared to make another move for the fear of getting hurt again, too tired to try because of the fear of failing again.

“Sorry for that,” Combeferre suddenly interrupted as he took a seat next to Eponine, “Wickham wanted to know if I would look over his case again. How’s your coffee?”

Eponine turned her head to Combeferre and found that the question was addressed to her. Smiling weakly, she shrugged and said, “It could be better.”

“It sucks, isn’t it?” Combeferre smiled cheekily, and Eponine glared at him, too stubborn to admit the truth.

“It does not suck. It’s just… not something that I’m used to.”

“Eponine, I know you. You never change your coffee order because there is only one coffee that you tolerate!”

“Yeah well, I thought I’d try something new.”

“I bet you miss your old order, did you not?”

Eponine rolled her eyes at Combeferre’s stubbornness and teasing smile, and punched him lightly on his arm, earning a laugh from the man.

There was strange look in Enjolras’ eyes as he watched Eponine with Combeferre. Suddenly feeling like an outsider, he cleared his throat to get Eponine and Combeferre’s attention, and then stood up when they both looked at him.

“I think I better go now.”

“What? No, Enjolras, stay! We haven’t got the chance to talk!” Combeferre protested, as he too, stood up and walked to his friend. Enjolras simply chuckled as shook his head, patting Combeferre’s shoulder and said, “We’ll talk tomorrow, alright? I have some things to unpack, and unpacking is a bitch. I should be going now if I want to settle things by tomorrow.”

“Ah, alright. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Do you want me to help you?” Combeferre muttered as he hugged his best friend goodbye.

“No, I’m good. I’ll see you in the office tomorrow.” Enjolras replied.

When they let go, Enjolras’ gaze turned to Eponine who was standing beside Combeferre, not knowing what to do. Should she hug him, or should she just shake his hand? Or should she just give him a friendly peck on the cheek? Which one?

Lucky for her, Enjolras made the decision for her as he moved closer to give her a hug. She was pleased to find that he still used the same cologne, and the smell of him made her feel like she was home. The warmth from him made her feel safe, and before she knew it, she clung to him, and a part of her never wanted to let go. Just like her, Enjolras realized that he had missed holding her close to him, and he realized that he had missed her so much, and he was so glad that she was close to him again. He was glad that she was this close, and he never wanted to part.

The hug lasted for a good few seconds before they both pulled apart simultaneously, as if knowing how awkward it was if they stayed in each other’s embrace for another second. Eponine didn’t take her eyes of Enjolras, as he did not take his off her, and it was the sound of Combeferre’s cough that made them both realized that they had been staring at each other.

Not knowing what else to do, Enjolras planted a kiss on Eponine’s forehead and bid them both goodbye.

As she watched him walk away, Eponine put her arms around herself, and found that she already had started missing him all over again.

* * *

Cosette smiled, leaning back on the chair as she rubbed her swollen belly while watching her boyfriend paint the nursery room. They had chosen the colour light green for the room. Marius had taken some time off work to put his full focus on Cosette and their baby, and it was his best decision yet. Their relationship was stronger than ever, and he had never been happier with his life than he was right now.

He felt his fiancee’s eyes on him, so he turned around, and grinned.

“Like what you see?”

“Yes,” Cosette said cheekily, “Very much.”

Marius chuckled. He then put the painting tools down and made his way towards her. Pulling a chair with him, he took a seat in front of her. As he looked at her, he remembered the time when he almost lost her, and how quickly his life went under spiral after that. If there was anything that taught him from the time they were apart, it was that he knew that he could not live without her.

She was the love of his life and his soulmate. There was no one for him but her.

“I love you so much,” he uttered. Cosette simply reached forward and stroked his cheek.

“I know. I love you too.”

Marius leaned in to kiss her, but just before their lips touch, the doorbell rang. Marius groaned in frustration.

Amused by her fiancé’s reaction, Cosette said, “You better get that. That must be Courfeyrac with baby stuff.”

“Or it might be Eva with food.” Marius replied grumpily. After a thought, he turned and asked Cosette, “Did you plan this? Did you mean for them to deliver some things to us on the same day around the same time?”

“Maybe.”

“Cosette!” Marius’ eyes widened, “What happened to minding our own business?”

“Well,” Cosette played with her hair, biting her bottom lip, looking like a child in trouble, “To be fair, they both offered to help us today. I just happen to say yes.”

“That… that…” Marius stammered, “Oh who am I kidding? I would do the same if it means Courfeyrac finally getting his shit together. Honestly, I am tired of arranging different schedules for them to come visit you.”

Marius then got up from his chair and got to the door. Cosette was right. It was Courfeyrac bringing a box of baby stuff that Marius told him to get at his parents’ house.

“The hell took you so long?” Courfeyrac scolded, “Move aside. This shit is heavy.”

“Well, hello to you too.” Marius said sarcastically when Courfeyrac pushed him so that he could get in, “That box is from my mother, yeah?”

“Yeah. I haven’t got the chance to go to your Aunt Edna’s place yet. I’ll go tomorrow.” Courfeyrac replied, putting the box on the table, “Your mother is a scary, old lady, you know that?”

Marius frowned, “Did she say anything to you?”

“Nothing much. She just reminded me to not drop the boxes or she’ll have my head on a stick.” Courfeyrac said bitterly as he did not appreciate being threatened by the old woman, “What do you have in the box that’s so important anyway?”

“Some decorations for the nursery. They’re fragile, that’s why she told you to be careful. I’d strangle you myself if these got broken.”

“Yeah, well. Either way, your mother scares the shit out of me.”

“Oh, come on! My mother’s like the nicest lady around!”

“Clearly you’re her baby and she never raised her voice at you,” Courfeyrac sneered as he sat on the sofa, “She’s pretty scary.”

“Well, I think you’re overreacting.” Marius replied, opening the box that Courfeyrac brought earlier. Nothing was broken, and they were all in perfect condition. Satisfied, he said, “These are wonderful. Thanks for bringing them here. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” Courfeyrac said, “Hey, you hungry?”

“A little.”

“Well, I’m starving. Do you want to go out? Or should I just order pizza for all three of us? Where’s Cosette anyway?”

“I don’t…” Marius started, but another buzz on the doorbell stopped him from talking. Cosette hurriedly got out of the nursery.

“I’ll get it!” she exclaimed happily, “Hi, Courf!”

“Hullo.” Courfeyrac greeted lazily, still lying on the sofa as if it was his home. After he put the decorations back in the boxes, Marius scolded him for not taking of his shoes, and the two got into another banter that Cosette had learnt to ignore.

She opened the door, and there stood Eva, carrying two boxes of pizza and a few cans of soft drinks.

“Hey, sorry I’m late. I was caught in the traffic jam.” Eva huffed, smiling at Cosette who moved aside to let her in, “Are you guys hungry?”

“Eva, I hope you don’t mind but we have a company over.”

“Oh? Who? I think there’s enough pizza for everyone.” Eva said nonchalantly as she went to the living room. “Marius in here?” she asked, and when Cosette nodded, she went ahead to go greet Marius.

“Marius, sorry I’m late! I’m-”she stopped in mid-sentence when she realized that it was not Marius who was in the living room, but it was Courfeyrac.

“Courf.”

“Eva.”

Courfeyrac got up from sofa quickly, too shocked to even say hi. They stood across the room from each other, shocked, speechless.

“I… I didn’t know you’d be here.” Eva said, “What are you doing here?”

“Courf is helping Marius get things from his mother’s house.” Cosette interrupted when she walked into the room, “I hope you don’t mind.”

“No. No.” Eva cleared her throat. She shook her head as she looked down at the floor, her eyebrows scrunched as she thought about the situation, “I… I think I’m going to go.”

“What? No! Please, stay.” Cosette pleaded when Eva put the pizzas on the table and made her way out of the living room, “Don’t be like this.”

“I can’t, Cosette. I’m sorry. I can’t.” Eva’s eyes were glassy, “I’m sorry.”

Seeing her friend so heartbroken, Cosette let go of her arm and Eva went away. She looked back and forth from Courfeyrac in the living room, looking perplexed and surprised, to Eva, who had just closed the door behind her. She heaved a heavy sigh, disappointed that her plan did not go the way she planned it to be. She had underestimated how hurt Eva was, and how she was yet to forgive Courfeyrac for what he had done to her.

Then, suddenly, Courfeyrac too, made his way out of the living room.

“Courf, where are you going?” Cosette called, her eyes wide, shocked at Courfeyrac’s sudden action.

“I can’t- I can’t…” Courfeyrac stammered, “I can’t let her go again, ‘Sette. I can’t.”

Without saying another word, he quickly went out to chase after Eva.

Cosette stood there, motionless, and still surprised by how things played out. Just then, Marius got out of the bedroom and found Cosette standing by the living room, staring at the front door. On the table, there were two boxes of pizza that he was sure weren’t there when he left the room. His eyes scanned the place for Courfeyrac, but the man was nowhere in sight.

“Alright,” he said, sounding unsure, “What did I miss?”

* * *

“Eva! Eva!” Courfeyrac ran to get to her, “Eva, please, stop!”

“What?” She turned around, and Courfeyrac stopped immediately when he realized that she was crying, “What more do you want from me?”

Tears streamed down her pale face, and she was gritting her teeth, her bottom lip trembling. She looked hurt, seeing him again brought back memories of the time when she felt truly pathetic, truly ashamed for being in love with a man whom she did not think love him back. She remembered waiting in vain and regretting the wasted time. She recalled coming to the conclusion that he did not love her as much as she loved him, and how he broke her heart into pieces.

“Haven’t you done enough?” she croaked, before spinning her heels and started walking away again.

She then felt his hand holding her arm and turned her around. Her heart was hammering against her chest, and she held her breath when she turned and found him so close to her. He looked like he was in deep pain, wanting to find words to say but nothing came out.

“Eva, I can explain. I know I’ve hurt you in the past…”

“You fucking broke me, you piece of shit.” Eva cursed, trying to free her arm from Courf’s grip, “You lied to me. You used me!”

“I did not use you!” Courfeyrac exclaimed, tightening his grip and pulled her closer, too scared that she might run again, “Everything that you said is nothing but your own assumption! I did not use you! I did not lie to you! I fucking love you, Eva. And it terrifies me how much I love you!”

At that, Eva stopped squirming and finally looked at him in the eyes.

“You… what?”

“I love you! I am so madly in love with you and it scares me because I have never, ever felt like this about anyone. I love you, and everything about you and I think about you every day, every second, every time. You haunt me, Eva. You’re everywhere and it drives me fucking crazy,” Courfeyrac confessed, finally letting go of Eva’s arm. There. He said it.

He sounded exasperated, tired of hiding his own feeling, and it all came like water spilling from a broken dam, he just could not stop, “So if you think that you don’t mean anything to me, you’re wrong. Because you mean the world to me. And it’s all so new, and so serious, and I was terrified. You don’t deserve a man who is a coward like me. But you don’t deserve to think that you are not loved. Because you are. I love you, and I will always love you.”

Eva’s eyes widened, shocked by his confession. Courfeyrac, on the other hand, simply shook his head and muttered, “I’m sorry.”

Just like that, he turned and started to walk away. He could not believe himself. He actually did it. He actually confessed, and although he knew that they’re over for good, now she knew that he loved her. Now she could move on with her life, and stop thinking that she’s not worthy, and…

Someone smacked his head.

“What the hell?” Courfeyrac yelled, and he turned around, finding Eva looking up at him. He had never seen her like that. Her eyes were still glassy with tears, but her eyes were red, and her nostrils flared. She looked like she was going to burst with anger, and Courfeyrac took a step back, now scared for a whole other reason.

“You jackass!” she screamed before she started hitting him, hard on the chest, even harder on his arms. “You cannot say those things to me and just walk away. You fucking jackass!”

“Ow! Ev-Eva! Ow! S-stop! STOP!” Courfeyrac tried to shield himself from her hits but it failed as she was fast. Grunting in frustration, she grabbed hold of her hands and she struggled against him.

“Let go of me!”

“I will once you stop acting crazy!”

“You can’t say those things to me, Courf!” Eva yelled again. When Courf held her tighter, she stopped struggling, and started crying. She looked up to him and said, her tone broken, “You’re giving me hope that we could be together. I’d think you mean everything you said, and I’ll end up being a complete mess.”

“But I _mean_ everything I said, Eva. _I love you_. I used to be scared, but I’m not anymore.” Courfeyrac said in a low voice, “I understand if you don’t love me anymore, but _I love you_.”

He then let go of her arms and looked down on the floor. Eva was still breathing heavily, looking at him in disbelief. He seemed like a changed man, a whole new man that she was curious to get to know. This whole other man was no longer scared of love, and even if he was, he would not run away again because he knew what he wanted, and he wanted her.

Also, this was the first time he had ever said ‘I love you’ to someone, and Eva felt tears streaming down her face again when she realized that she had never stopped loving him too.

Eva did not say anything for a few minutes, and Courfeyrac was sure that she was about to leave when…

“Do you really think that I have stopped loving you?”

Courfeyrac looked at her. There was a ghost of a smile on her lips, but she looked a little calm, although her face was wet with tears and her eyes were still red.

“I don’t know.” Courfeyrac answered timidly, “I don’t blame you if you do.”

The corners of Eva’s lips twitched, and she smiled. Courfeyrac had missed her smile. Especially the smile that she had for him, the way the crinkles under her eyes formed and the way she chuckled a little bit when her smile was wide.

“That’s where you’re wrong, you idiot. I love you too.”

It was amazing how such simple words could make his world a much better place. It was incredible how three simple words made him complete.

“You love me.”

“I love you.” Eva repeated.

“Really, _really_ love me?” Courfeyrac grinned, “Or just _love_ me?”

“Careful, Courf. Don’t push it.” Eva rolled her eyes, “And don’t you think I’m no longer mad at you.”

“You still are?” Courfeyrac’s smile dimmed a little.

“Yes. You have to make up for everything you did!” Eva held her head high, “And I get to decide when you can stop.”

Courfeyrac raised a brow, “Oh, so am I being punished now?”

Eva smirked, “I suppose you can say it that way.”

“Alright, then what would my punishment be?” Courfeyrac moved closer to her, and slowly put his arms around her. Her smile dimmed, but she did not move away. Instead, she looked up at him with so much wonder, and so much love. Courfeyrac could spend his whole life looking at her like that.

“I-I haven’t given it a thought yet.”

“Well, that’s too bad.” Courfeyrac teased, “I was looking forward to getting punished.”

Eva then smacked him on his shoulder, “Shut up!”

Courfeyrac laughed, and seeing him laugh brought laughter back to Eva too. It took them a while to stop laughing, remembering how silly they were when they were apart. This was where they belong. This was where they were meant to be.

“So, what do we do now?” Eva asked, and Courfeyrac squinted, thinking hard.

“Well, we could always go back to Marius and Cosette’s. We still had those pizzas to finish.” Courfeyrac replied, “What did you get by the way? Is it pepperoni? I love pepperoni. Although I wouldn’t say no to that Hawaiian pizza thing that Ep always talks about? I mean, I think pineapples on pizzas are absolutely crazy but…”

“Courf, shush.” Eva placed her finger on Courf’s lips, shutting him up completely. She smiled and moved closer to him, “Just… shut up, and kiss me.”

He smiled, and he did just that.


	30. The One with the Hiking

" _If I die because of that idiot, I'm gonna haunt him for the rest of his life!"_  Grantaire muttered dramatically to himself as he wiped the sweat on his forehead with a small towel. It was early morning weekend, but instead of being tucked in his comfy blanket at home, he was out and about, hiking his way up the hill.

Grantaire had no idea why he let Jehan convince him to do this. Grantaire hated waking up early, nor was he a fan of any type of exercise. However, that beautiful boyfriend of his was concerned about his less than healthy lifestyle, causing him to drag Grantaire out of their bed so that he could join him, Combeferre and Enjolras this morning. And of course, being the  _great_  friend he was, he convinced Eponine to come, which he then realized that if he didn't have stamina, Eponine was even  _worse_.

It took him a few minutes to realize that he was alone. Jehan, Courfeyrac and Enjolras had made their way up, far too fast for Grantaire's slow pace. He turned around and found Eponine's figure running up towards him, her shirt drenched in sweat and she looked like she was about to faint. Grantaire bit his bottom lip to stop himself from laughing, but he failed to mask his amusement upon seeing his friend like that. So, when Eponine reached him, she knew that he was laughing at her.

Snatching the water bottle from him, Eponine gave him a death glare. Still too breathless to say anything, she plopped down on the ground and took a few deep breaths to regulate her irregular ones. Once she had settled, she drank the water from Grantaire's bottle until it was all gone, and then threw it at her friend, who dodged right in time before it hit him on his head.

"Hey! Watch it!"

"I'm going to kill you," Eponine spat, "I'm going to get my energy back, and then I'm going  _skin_  you alive."

"Come on, it's not  _that_  bad!"

"Look at me!" she gestured wildly at her body, "My lungs are burning! My limbs feel like they're going to detach themselves! This is it, R.  _This is how I'm going to die_!"

Grantaire rolled his eyes at Eponine's remark as he held out his hand to help Eponine get up. He then said, "If you die, don't come back and haunt me, yeah?"

"You're the first person I'm gonna haunt! Watch out, R. I'd make a complete mess out of your place. No, no! I'm gonna hide your contacts and watch you go blind all day!" Eponine said childishly, sticking her tongue out, her smile widened when Grantaire looked aghast, "And that, is what you get for tricking me into joining you today."

Grantaire seethed, "Geez, you sound like a bigger pain in the ass as a ghost than a human being."

Eponine chuckled, picking up her pace to catch up with Grantaire who had started walking again, "I'd take that as a compliment."

He shook his head, feeling amused by his friend's antics. Eponine was quiet after that, but they both were walking together, and it felt nice. It had been a while since he saw Eponine, and Grantaire had missed her company.

It took them a while, but they were almost at the top. Grantaire could almost see the outlines of his boyfriend's slender form, waving at him and Eponine. At that, Grantaire turned to Eponine, who was already looking at him, mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Wanna race to the top?" Grantaire asked the question that he knew she was going to ask.

Ever so competitive, Eponine nodded. However, before Grantaire could say anything else, she had already sprinted away, leaving him behind.

"Hey! That's cheating!"

"Who cares?" Eponine yelled back, giggling as she ran wildly, faster than she had ever been. For a moment, she felt like a child again, sunshine hitting her beautiful face as the cold wind blow; she was reminded what it felt to be young and free of trouble and heartaches.

Of course, she reached the top first. There, she found Enjolras waiting for her, huge grin formed on his face when he saw her running his way. She flung her arm around him when she reached him, his arms automatically circled around her as if they did this all the time, like there was no history between them and the awkwardness was just…non-existent.

They laughed along with Courfeyrac and Jehan when Grantaire reached the top only seconds after she did. She then let go of Enjolras and went to Grantaire to apologize, but Grantaire simply laughed and said, "Technically, I didn't lose.  _You_  cheated."

She didn't argue.

They all sat on the top of the hill overlooking the beautiful scenery as the sun continued to rise from the horizon. Eponine stole a glance at Enjolras. He looked so calm and content, and it was a rare sight that Eponine cherished. He was always so tense, like there were lots on things in his mind, but now, he just seemed… happy. She relished that moment, taking it all in, never taking her eyes off him.

All that she could think about was that he looked so beautiful.

* * *

It was terrible. The pain, the ache, the sore was utterly terrible.

She was alright for the whole day after she went hiking, but the stabbing pain in her legs started the day after. Before she knew it, it was painful to even move.

Right now, she was in Enjolras' apartment. As she lived close to him, she had offered her help to sort out things in his place. He was moving to a new place, and even though he was usually super organized and clean, he was utterly hopeless when it came to packing. Heck, when they were together, she was the one who helped him pack his stuff when he had to travel for work. Everyone thought that Eponine was the messy one, and they're right, except when it came to packing, when she was the organized one. Perhaps it was because she had a lot of practice, moving from one place to another quite often when she was a kid while Enjolras was used to staying in one place.

She planned to help him finish sorting out his things that he didn't want tonight, but she didn't think that it would happen as she had been lying face down on his couch, not moving a muscle for half an hour since she arrived. Enjolras could only watch her sympathetically, bringing some food and drinks for her and putting them all on the coffee table.

She watched him from the corner of her eyes and groaned when he moved her feet away so that he could sit on the couch too. Despite the pain, Eponine forced herself to sit down, her bottom lip jutted out as she hugged a pillow close to her chest.

"This _sucks_."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You should be. This is your fault!" she suddenly added as she hit his chest with the pillow she was holding.

Enjolras frowned, "Hey! How's it my fault?"

"I don't know! I just need to blame somebody," Eponine rolled her eyes, leaning back on the couch, "Ugh, I'm gonna kill R. What was I thinking, agreeing to go hiking of all things! 'Good for your cardiovascular system', my ass. Heart attack can't kill me now, but thanks to him, my aching limbs will!"

Enjolras suppressed the urge to laugh at her dramatic rant. He then said patiently, "I don't think anyone has ever died because of sore limbs. You don't have to be so melodramatic."

"But I'm the queen of melodrama!"

Enjolras sighed, "I know. Trust me, I know."

Eponine chuckled, and then said nothing further as she looked around Enjolras' apartment. To put it lightly, it looked like a tornado had hit and they now had to clean the mess. Eponine had never realized that Enjolras had a lot of books. Hell, she came to his place quite often but she had never seen most of the things she's seeing. She squinted, were those... a bow and arrows? What's he doing with those?

"Want some?" Enjolras handed an opened bag of chips. He then reached out for the remote control and asked, "What do you want to watch tonight?"

Eponine looked at him as if he had lost his mind, "Movie? You want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah." He replied, eyebrows furrowed when he saw her looking at him like that.

"I thought you wanted my help to clean up this mess," she gestured around his living room, "We have lots to do."

"Can you even walk though?" Enjolras said, "We can't do anything if you seem like you're in pain  _every_  time you move."

"I'm alright. You don't have to worry." Eponine said. She then tried to get up, but it was a dumb thing to do as she felt blinding pain in her knees and she plopped right back on the couch. Eponine glared at Enjolras, who was smiling smugly, before grudgingly took the bag of chips from his hand and snatched the remote control.

"I'll pick the movie. You stay there and shush."

Enjolras said nothing further. They drifted back into comfortable silence, and soon, no sound was heard other than from the movie Eponine had picked. Enjolras found himself looking at her every now and then, admiring how beautiful she was, with her hair tied into a ponytail and eyes glinting with amusement whenever the characters did something stupid.

And then he realized that he was watching her more than the movie.

He blushed, knowing how bad this would be if she caught him staring. They've been through this so many times before, and he didn't think he could face everything all over again.

So, he fought the urge to move closer to her, to put his arms around her and to have her place her head on his shoulder like she used to. He kept to his side, silent and unmoving, eyes on the screen but mind wandered someplace else. He hoped that Eponine wouldn't ask his opinions about this movie after this, because he was sure he had no idea what it was about.

Enjolras didn't look at her after that, so he didn't realize that when he wasn't looking, her eyes were on him, admiring him the same way he admired her.

But she too, looked away before he noticed that she was staring.

They both looked away, and missed the look of love and longing that were obvious in each other's eyes.

* * *

Eponine didn't realize when she had fallen asleep. To be honest, she didn't remember why she woke up either, but when she did, she found herself pressed against Enjolras' chest as he carried her into the guest bedroom.

"You…"

"Hey, you're awake." He said, putting her on the bed as he smiled, sincere and calm, "You fell asleep during the movie. Didn't want to wake you up."

"You should, though. It's already late. I think I better go home." Eponine replied, making a move to get out of bed, although it was so comfy that she'd rather die than getting up. In a way, she was a little relieved when Enjolras placed his hand on her shoulder and insisted that she stayed.

"You can stay here. It's my fault that you're here until it's so late." He said, "Just go to sleep. If you need anything, I'll be in the next room."

At that, Eponine nodded. And when he closed the door behind him, Eponine laid awake, staring at the ceiling because she couldn't sleep as the room was too cold without Enjolras' presence and she hated the empty space next to her.

It took her everything she had to get her shit together and not run to the next room.

She fell asleep a few hours later, and she dreamt of the perfect world where everything that happened, didn't happen, and she didn't end up sleeping alone every night.

* * *

She was beautiful. It was almost unfair how beautiful she was. And he didn't understand how he let this woman destroy him inside, taking over his life until everything was in her grip. He had helplessly give his heart to her, waiting for her to finally realize that he too, was worth of her love, and he too, was dying to love her the way she wanted to be loved. Her laughter was his music, her smile was his sunshine, and Combeferre wondered what took him so long to go chase after her. He didn't understand why he was so afraid.

It hurt when she was around. It hurt when she wasn't.

He was so used to having her right next to him that it was strangely cold when he was alone. Day by day, he realized that the time he looked forward to was the time when he got to meet her, whether it was during lunch, or after work, or even on weekends. He knew that she enjoyed his company too, for it was always her who initiated every move, calling him whenever she wanted to meet, as if she knew that he was longing for her company.

And today, they were supposed to meet at this record store that Eponine loved. He didn't understand her obsession with records at first, as she used to not even care about getting a record player. But she had been doing everything she could to get over Jesse, and collecting record was one of the earliest hobbies that she had taken on. Knowing Eponine, once she started, it was hard to get her to stop. So, there he was.

The record store was much smaller than Combeferre had expected it to be. He looked for Eponine, and found her talking to a tall man wearing The Beatles t-shirt and jeans. From the way they were talking and how he gestured to some stuff in the store, Combeferre concluded that he was the owner of this store. Eponine, being Eponine, listened closely, eyes focused and impressed, adding to her beauty that Combeferre had always admired.

"Hey," he walked towards the two of them, "Got what you wanted?"

"Nah, Clint doesn't sell the record that I want but he'll try to find it for me, isn't he sweet?" Eponine replied, tapping the tall man on the shoulder, "Thank you Clint."

"No problem," Clint said curtly, giving Combeferre a polite smile, "Your girlfriend here has a marvellous taste in music,"

At that, Combeferre's face reddened, and he let out a few coughs to cover his embarrassment. Eponine, on the other hand, let out a laugh, shaking her head. Combeferre half expected her to exclaim "No!" and then deny Clint's remark, insisting that they were nothing more than just friends.

However, she didn't do so. Instead, she said, in a joking manner, "Yeah, I am pretty great, ain't I?"

It was confusing, but Combeferre too, said nothing to deny anything. They made small talks with Clint for a while before being on their way, walking side by side in the cold weather, until they reached the restaurant that they were meaning to go to.

Once they were seated and looking at the menu, Combeferre couldn't stop himself from asking, "So, why did you let Clint think that we're dating?"

"Huh?" Eponine looked up from the menu, finding Combeferre staring at her, waiting for her answer. She rubbed the back of her neck, "I… I don't know. I have a feeling that he won't believe me if I deny it anyway. So, there's that."

"So… you decided to lie to him?"

"Technically, I didn't lie. I just didn't correct the false assumption."

"… that's lying."

"Oh, who are you to say that? You're a lawyer!"

"What I'm saying is," Combeferre sighed, but the corners of his lips twitched as he fought back a smile, "It's not nice to lie."

"Fine, I'll clear everything up tomorrow when I see him again." Eponine rolled her eyes, "Jesus, you're no fun."

"I mean, you won't have to clear things up with him, if… if…" Combeferre stuttered before mentally kicking himself for not being able to keep his mouth shut, "Know what? Never mind."

"You know I hate it when people do that." Eponine kicked his leg lightly from under the table, "Spit it out."

Combeferre shook his head, feeling that it was inappropriate to go ahead and ask her out. But… well, it's not like there's anything wrong with it. It had been months since she broke up with Jesse. She had been doing great, and she had gotten over Jesse. He was unclear about her feelings for Enjolras, but as what she had told him time and time again, she didn't think anything could happen between them. Combeferre could tell that when it came to the matter of feelings, Eponine was just as confused as he was. They're both teetering on egg shells, too afraid to fall, too afraid to make sudden move. But the thing about being too afraid was that time went on, but you're still there, unchanging, and before you know, everything passed before your eyes and you'd be left to regret everything that could've been.

Combeferre didn't want to regret everything that could've been. He had been doing that for years now.

"Ferre?" Eponine pressed on, "What is it?"

"It's just… well, I was just saying that you wouldn't have to lie if… y'know, if we actually… go out?"

Eponine smiled widely, laughter in her eyes. It kind of broke his heart a little, knowing that she didn't take him seriously. Mischievous glint was in her eyes, as she nudged his leg playfully and said, "You asking me out on a date, Ferre?"

Combeferre knew she thought he was kidding, that he was pulling her leg. Truth was, Combeferre was getting tired of this. He wanted to be taken seriously. He wanted her to know that he loved her, that he wanted to treat her right. He wanted her to know that he could make her happy too, if only she had given him the chance.

"Yes." Combeferre answered truthfully, "Yes, I was."

Slowly, he saw the mischievous glint in her eyes disappear, replaced by the look of utter confusion.

"Ferre, wha-" she started, her words lost in the thick air. She cleared her throat and asked again, "What're you talking about?"

"I'm asking you out on a date." Combeferre said more bravely. He didn't know where the courage came from, but he was glad that it's here. He had been holding everything for too long, and he didn't think that he could keep it any longer. He had to know if he stood a chance. As much as he loved her, he didn't think he could keep going like this.

"Where did this come from?" Eponine was still surprised.

"I… I just thought…" Combeferre stammered, "I just…"

"You know, Ferre. If you want to ask someone out, you should like her first. Do you like me?"

_Yes, I more than like you,_  Combeferre wanted to say. He bit his bottom lip, looking up to meet Eponine's gaze once again. She was smiling now, which was confusing as hell because from her tone earlier, he thought she was repulsed by the idea.

"Of course I like you. I've wanted to ask you out for the longest time."

"Then why didn't you? Why now?"

"Because I thought you didn't want to."

"What makes you think that I want to  _now_?" Eponine questioned, an eyebrow raised, lips curved into a challenging smirk. Combeferre knew she was testing him. It's something she always did. It's in her nature to test everyone she knew, a part of defence mechanism she had long mastered to keep her away from people who wanted to hurt her.

"I didn't. That's why I asked." Combeferre replied patiently, "I understand if you're not ready. Trust me, this doesn't affect our relationship. We can still be friends and you can still cou-"

"Ferre?" Eponine called, cutting him from his speech. "Stop talking."

"Huh?"

"Stop talking," she repeated, sounding a little impatient. Combeferre was sure that Eponine was going to say no. Well, that was… such an epic fail. That was probably the dumbest mistake he had ever done. What must he do that? Why must he ruin everything between them and make things awkward? Why is he so stu-

"You done talking?" Eponine continued, her smirk seemed to grow wider, and she reached Combeferre's hand and said softly, "Good. Because if you kept on talking, I wouldn't have the chance to say  _yes_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :) I know that it has been a really, really long time. I don't even know if I still have readers, but if you're still reading this, I want to thank all of you so much. Life in university has been hectic, and I have to put my work first. Inspiration and motivation are so dry lately, but I'm back for a while :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think! If you want to talk, you can head to my Tumblr, fromtheoutsiiide.tumblr.com ! Again, thank you so much for sticking with this story. This means the world to me.


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